“Unnie, Mr. Lee is here.” The voice of my secretary is heard over the phone.

“Thank’s Hyorin-ah. Send him in.”

I look at the folder of files in front of me. His files are quite a lot. Looking at his picture, actually he looks fine. Just like any other happy-go-lucky high school boy. Can’t help but chuckled. I wonder if these things nowadays become the common problem of Y generation. Depression, anger, eating disorder, suicidal, and other problem that people in my generation just can found in a movie long time ago. Even though I practically deal with these cases whole day, sometimes I just can’t help to wonder that these kids is actually just craving for attention. Young people nowadays like to be in the spotlight. Sometimes I just don’t get it why.

I heard footsteps, then he appears. Wearing casual purple shirt, sneakers, hands in his jean’s pocket. Typical high school boy, I thought. He’s good looking. Maybe if there’s a guy with perfect jaw line and pretty canine teeth like him in my school day, I’d have a crush on him. Silly, huh? I think he’s just as transparent as I thought before.

 Everything’s just like how I predicted before.

The only thing that I didn’t predict is that his first reaction when he saw me. He scoffed. Coolly. Arrogantly. Which is makes me want to punch his face right away, but I’m professional. So I just smile let him sit.

“Please sit…” I said. He throws a sinister smile before finally sit in front of me.

“Your mother and I have talked about it before. We agreed that you and I will have meeting for discussion.” I talk calmly, he seems like didn’t pay attention. His eyes wandered to all corners of my office, scanning some certificate and achievement frames of my walls.

“You don’t need to feel burdened at all, because all you need to do is talk about anything that you want and I will be the listener. So let me introduce my self, my name is Heo Gayoon, and I-“

“How old are you?” Suddenly he cuts my words.

“Eh? Excuse me?”

“Because you don’t seem to have much distance with my age.” He bluntly said. I smile, answer him in the most calm way.

“I’m 27. And yeah, we don’t have much distance. Only if you think that “9 years” is a short time.” I saw him scoffed again, almost laughing actually. Like a bully character in the high school movie.

“Seriously, doctor…I don’t think you get it why I’m here.”

“Really, what did I miss?” I calmly ask back while opening his files.

“You, my step-mother, my famous dad and this freaking whole world seems to think that I’m here to ‘talk’ to you. To pouring all my heart out in the so-called discussion or maybe I should used the common terms, session therapy. But you guys misunderstood. I’m not here for that.” He laughs wickedly now.

“Okay, than what are you here for?”

“I’m here to tell you…that I don’t need this. That I don’t need help from anyone, not from my dad, my step-mom, and especially not from you neither from your Master Degree in psychology from Seoul University.” He said coldly.

“So you’re telling that you’re fine?” I smile while looking at his face.

“Hell yeah.”

“Okay…so I guess you don’t need me. Indeed. But I think I’m the one who needs you.”

“What do you mean?” He looks confused. I smiles as I open the folder in my desk containing his files and records. I scan through those papers.

“Would you do me a favor? Since your mother has been assigned me on these things, I need you to tell me a little detail about it so that I can make the final report. That’s it. Then you can leave.”

“I’ll tell you one detail about those craps.” His tone changed a little.

“Okay.” I said while still look at the papers. 

“That’s not my fault.” He said.

“None of them was my fault. Write it on your so-called report and tell them.”

He said with a deep voice that a little bit surprised me. It’s different from the voice he had earlier. Seems like this voice hold many emotion…and I can’t help but to look up at him. Look closely at his face. That was the time when I see his eyes. Those eyes.

I’m frozen. Those deep and black eyes makes me stunned. Just one look from those eyes and I see a lot of things. Mostly…it’s sadness. I do nothing but remain seated and watch him stand up, untill his figure disappears behind my office’s door.

I blink a few times and sigh. What is it? I chuckled while closing the folder in my hand, put it on the corner of my desk. Slowly I open the second drawer of my desk and I find the old frame in that. I smiled bitterly. It’s been along time since the last time I saw that picture.

“Hey, Myungsoo-ah…that kid has eyes like yours. It’s weird isn’t it?”

I chuckled before put the frame back to the drawer. Then I take the folder of my next patient appointment. Leaving that kid’s folder remained closed in the corner of my desk.

January 21st 2012. That was the day I first met Lee Howon.

That time I still didn’t know, that he’s more than just what’s written in the stack of folders of his files.