Kim Taeyeon.

 

The one person that I’m most worried about.

 

All the explanation that has to be given upon seeing her innocent face was a massive worry.

 

The short girl that managed to make everything possible.

 

The person who made all my achievement possible.

 

Also the very person that my heart belongs to.

 

Seeing her so close to me just brings back all the memories that we’ve shared together.

 

The laughter, fun, happy, blissful times that I've shared with her.

 

The love that I have for her has always been there.

 

And it still is.

 

Just looking at her after 3 years feels so surreal.

 

Like I'm just dreaming and that all of this is an illusion.

 

Then all of sudden she was there staring at me.

 

Like she has seen a ghost.

 

I decided to break the ice.

 

“Congratulations Taeyeon.”

 

And I walked up to her and hug her.

 

The feeling was so unbelievable.

 

My heart was beating so fast that it felt like I've run a marathon. So fast that I'm pretty sure that she could feel it because I was literally strangling her into a tight hug.

 

Her scent is still the same.

 

Sweet and innocent.

 

The scent that I love the most.

 

She then wrapped her arms around my waist and snuggled into my neck.

 

How I wish that time would just freeze.

 

So that I could enjoy this moment longer.

 

To finally be able to hold her in my arms.

 

However time is our enemy.

 

After what seemed like a few minutes of us just hugging and enjoying each other’s presence, we went back to the couch and started talking.

 

I told her about what it is like to live in a western country.

 

The hardships that I went through.

 

The different adventures I’ve experienced.

 

The friends that I’ve met and pretty much how I adapted to the difficult circumstances of being independent.

 

Then without us knowing, I looked at my watch that it was already 12am.

 

I guess time passes by so quick when you spend time with the person that you love.

 

Time is really a clam jammer.

 

I stood up and looked at her.

 

"It's getting late. I should go home now."

 

We walked towards the front door and was about to say farewell and it hit me really hard.

 

Just then I knew this would be the time when I really have to say my goodbye to her for good.

 

I know this will break her heart but I have to do this.

 

It’s the best option out there.

 

I want to tell her the truth but that would just be a massive burden to her and that would be the last thing I want to give her.

 

She suffered enough because of me.

 

There’s only one way for me to this.

 

"Your confession - the one from 3 years ago ... Do you want the answer right now?"

 

The way she stared at me just gave me all the answers that I wanted.

 

I know she has been dying to know the answers.

 

Her expression says it all.

 

Just by looking at her I can see panic and fear in her eyes.

 

I just looked at her expressionless.

 

Trying to hide every single emotion that I'm feeling right now.

 

Trying so hard not to cry infront of her.

 

Not to break down.

 

To show her the strong side of Tiffany Hwang.

 

Instead of answering me she just nodded her head.

 

I took that as my cue.

 

"I'm sorry but I can't be with you."

 

                                                                                                         

 

It killed me inside a thousand times when I finally looked at her.

 

All I can see is disappointment.

 

But mostly pain and hurt.

 

Seeing this right in front me just killed me.

 

To see her getting hurt all over again because of me is the most painful thing ever.

 

To see the person that you love the most get hurt, just hurts you twice more.

 

I've been trying to hold my tears.

 

To show her that I mean it.

 

To make sure that my cover won't be revealed.

 

All of sudden she spoke.

 

“Please elaborate.”

 

I didn't expect her to say this.

 

I panic not knowing what to say.

 

I was shocked and just stared at her.

 

All I could do is look down and try to think of something to say.

 

A stupid lie to cover up all this hideous pain.

 

"The feelings I had for you in the past is in the past. I don't see a future between us, not now .... not ever in my lifetime. The 3 years away made me realise that it was a moment thing. This thing we had will not work and it never will. I'm sorry but it will not work.

 

I took a deep breath and continued with my make up story.

 

“I'm moving back to America and I'm going to live with my secret fiancée. I got offered a life changing job that is able to provide me an unimaginable wealth for the rest of my life. So with those in mind, I hope you forget about me and move on."

 

I didn't even let her say anything and just walked away so fast that I stumbled over a small pebble.

 

I was trying to create some distance from her as I couldn't take the feeling that I have anymore.

 

I couldn't bare the pain that I've been holding since the start.

 

I started to jog then gave into a sprint as her petite figure disappeared.

 

Just then it started to rain.

 

It seems like God knew exactly what I'm going through. The company of cold water was somewhat comforting.

 

The pain was just too much for me to bear and I just suddenly collapsed on the cold wet ground.

 

I didn't have enough strength left in me to support myself.

 

So I just cried and cried under the rain.

 

Letting the rain soothe me.

 

After crying for a good half an hour, I couldn’t feel the pouring cold water soaking me.

 

So i looked up and saw Jessie standing there with an umbrella.

 

“Come on Tiffany. Lets go home.”

 

I didn't have any energy left in me to say anything to her so I just let her carry me to the car.

 

After driving a few minutes we were finally home.

 

We walked straight to my bedroom and that’s when she started drying me off.

 

I just silently cried.

 

The pain is just growing every time I remember Taeng’s expression.  

 

How betrayed and hurt she felt.

 

I don’t even know why I decided to do such a thing.

 

I know it was selfish of me to do this after everything we’ve been through.  

 

But isn’t it just a lot better for her if she knew I was out there happy and told her to move on rather than watch me slowly die and let her suffer any longer.

 

I’m so sorry Taeng.

 

I didn’t mean to do this to you.

 

Just then I bursted out crying again but this time Jessie was there to catch and comfort me.

 

" It’s okay Fany-ah. She'll understand when the time comes."

 

Even though I didn't say anything to Jessie, she knows exactly what I'm going through so I just hugged her tightly until I can feel myself slowly lose my consciousness.

 

Taeyeon I’m so sorry for lying to you.

 

I just dont want you to learn that in a few months or so it would be a harder goodbye for you.

 

Thank you for loving me and letting me love you.

 

Though we didn't get to spend much time, I treasured every single moment that I was given to be with you.

 

Always remember that I love you.

 

I never stopped loving you my princess.

 

Always have and always will.

 

Forever and always baby.

 

Maybe in our next life we can people who won't have to go through so much pain and love each other blissfully.

 

But for now it’s goodbye my princess.

 

Maybe some day, time will be our friend.

 

Until we meet again and maybe this time, we'll be together.  

 

 

 

May death do us part.

 

 

 

Goodbye Kim Taeyeon.

~THE END~

 

 

 

First of all i want to thank you all the subscribers for being so patient to my very slow update and tuning in to this part of the story. I hope you liked the story. I think this would be the first and last of me writing a fanfic too. But please continue to support the other fanfic  by .

Till then. 

 

Bye ~

 

                                                                                   - BLUE