The Sixth Time

Jonghyun leans against the wall, phone in hand. He checks his Twitter and e-mail, waiting for class to start. He looks up for a second when he hears footsteps. He sees Kibum and their eyes meet for a fleeting moment before Jonghyun quickly looks back down at his phone and pretends that they didn’t just make eye contact. He can feel Kibum’s eyes on him but does nothing about it and Kibum doesn’t approach him either. Jonghyun quickly walks in to the class and sits between two people so Kibum couldn’t sit near him, even if he wanted to. Out of the corner of his eye, Jonghyun see Kibum sit on the other side of the room. They don’t look at each other the whole class.

Jonghyun tries to pack quickly so he can get out of the room before Kibum but they run in to each other at the door. Jonghyun feigns surprise and utters a timid “hi” before running to his next class. Maybe it was a combination of nerves and the fact that Jonghyun thought he might be late for his next class that made Jonghyun trip over his own feet right in front of Kibum. He hears Kibum chuckle softly before quickly leaving.

He texts Krystal and tells her what happened.

That night when they meet up, Krystal greets him with a “Really, Jonghyun? You pretended you didn’t see him? Then you tripped. You’re so embarrassing.”

“I didn’t know what to do! Besides, we have one class together this semester. That means I’ll see him a lot, right?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“I’ve embarrassed myself in front of him six times,” Jonghyun says off-handedly.

“You’re counting?” Krystal mocks, even though she knew Jonghyun would.

Snow falls gently to the ground. It’s cold enough for everyone to be wrapped in scarves and coats and hats. Jonghyun pulls his scarf to cover his face while he waits outside of his Korean 309 classroom. He doesn’t look up when he hears footsteps today.

Even if he had, he wouldn’t have seen Kibum that day. Or any of the following days. Kibum switched his Korean 309 to a different time, much to Jonghyun’s dismay but also relief. That meant they wouldn’t see each other but it also meant that Jonghyun wouldn’t have more opportunities to embarrass himself.

This semester, their paths didn’t cross like they did the first. Jonghyun saw Kibum once in the next month and they just briefly said “hi” to each other like they did so many times before. Jonghyun realized that he had been crushing on Kibum for month now so he went to Jinki for help.

“Please, you know him. Please, help me. I want to see him more.”

“I don’t know, Jonghyun. Minho and Krystal have been saying that you need to move on. I think they’re right,” Jinki admits gently.

“What?! You too? I just- I really like him. I can’t do that so easily,” Jonhyun argues.

“I know, but you really should.”

“Please? Just do me this one favor. I’ll do anything for you. Anything. Please!”

“Ok fine. I’ll ask him if he wants to go to this party with me Friday. Just don’t do anything to embarrass yourself anymore.”

“Wh-What?” Jonghyun’s cheeks flush red but he thanks Jinki and starts fantasizing about Friday night. The last time Kibum was drunk was when he decided to talk to Jonghyun. Maybe if he’s drunk again with Jonghyun something will happen. Jonghyun hopes that everything works out.

The Seventh Time

Jonghyun feels ready to meet Kibum on Friday night. He’s wearing jeans that show up his legs and a black shirt that shows off his muscular arms. He’s wearing his best cologne and styled his hair. “Damn, I look good.” He admired his own reflection and smirks. “Kibum won’t be able to resist me like this,” he tells himself confidently.

When Jonghyun sees Kibum across the room, Kibum has already had quite a bit to drink and his arm is slung around a younger boy, Jonghyun thinks it’s the same boy who was with him on the bus when he and Kibum first met. Jonghyun feels a pit in his stomach. I guess he flirts with anyone when he’s drunk. But hey, on the bright side now I know he’s in to guys. At least he is when he’s drunk.

Jinki walks up to Jonghyun, seeing the disappointed look in his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Well, he’s definitely gay when he’s drunk,” Jonghyun scoffs.

“He’s gay all the time. Don’t worry. I know he seems kind of cold but that’s just his personality. If you want to date him you’re gonna have to get used to it.”

Jonghyun continues to glare at the freshman whom Kibum is hanging off of. “Going for a first year just because they’re easy targets, probably,” Jonghyun growls. Jinki shrugs and walks off to talk to a group of girls.

After a few drinks, Jonghyun loosens up and feels less gloomy about Kibum, almost forgetting why he was at this party to begin with. He’s talking to some girls who are obviously flirting with him and talks to them because it’s something to distract him from Kibum and that stupid first-year.

Kibum looks around the party, suddenly remembering that Jinki mentioned that Jonghyun would come. “, where is he?” Kibum walks around, trying to find Jonghyun. He finally sees him talking to a group of girls. One of the girls keeps touching his hand. Kibum frowns at the sight, the fact that Jonghyun isn’t stopping her from blatantly flirting with him. In fact, he wasn’t stopping any of them. Angry and intoxicated, Kibum walks over to Jonghyun quickly and smoothly inserts himself between Jonghyun and the girl who kept touching his hand. Kibum’s arm slips around Jonghyun’s small waist and he leans his head against Jonghyun’s shoulder.

The three girls look at each other uncomfortably before awkwardly leaving. “Dammit,” one of them mutters.

“Were they hitting on my Jjongie?” Kibum coos, his words slightly slurred.

“Your Jjongie?” Jonghyun asks, surprised at the possessive word and the nickname.

“Yeah, you don’t like being called my Jjongie?” Kibum’s finger traces Jonghyun’s arm as they look at each other. Kibum giggles and turns so he’s facing Jonghyun, arm still around his waist. “Is this ok?” he asks slyly, pulling Jonghyun closer.

Jonghyun smirks. “Yeah, it’s great.”

Both Jonghyun and Kibum are completely drunk and tangled in each other. Kibum roughly pulls on Jonghyun’s hair and kiss his mouth roughly while Jonghyun moves his hands all over Kibum’s body. They’re surrounded by people but everyone is too wasted to care about the two boys making out on the couch. “Why don’t we go to my place?” Kibum suggests, raising an eyebrow.

They stumble down the sidewalk, slowly making their way to Kibum’s apartment. Both of them are giggling about nothing, whispering words, and they cannot keep their hands off of each other.

He next morning, Jonghyun wakes up and sees Kibum lying next to him. He looks around Kibum’s room, for the first time save last night, and last night Jonghyun had not really paid attention to the room. Kibum shifts in bed and turns over to face Jonghyun. He looks slightly confused before he realizes who he’s lying in bed with.

“Did we have ?” he asks.

“Yeah.” Jonghyun gives Kibum a gentle smile and reaches for Kibum’s hair but Kibum pulls back. Jonghyun pauses, shocked and hurt, and for what felt like the millionth time, embarrassed.

“.”

“What?!”

“I mean… I didn’t mean it that way, I just-“

“I should probably go, right?” Jonghyun asks angrily.

“Look, we hooked up. I was really drunk last night. And when I’m drunk I-“

“No, I get it. It’s fine.” Jonghyun pulls on his shirt and jeans and quickly slips into his shoes.

“Jonghyun, wait! I didn’t mean that!” Kibum calls after Jonghyun who just walks faster.

That ing jackass. What the is wrong with him?! I embarrassed myself again because I wanted more than he did. .

Jonghyun walks in to his apartment, greeted by his roommates. “You didn’t come back last night, what does this mean? You’re wearing the same clothes as yesterday. Ooh someone was getting last night!” one of them teases.

“Not in the mood.” Jonghyun slams his bedroom door, leaving his confused roommates worried.

“I hope he’s alright,” one of them says. “You know how emotional he gets.”

The others nod in agreement.

Krystal shows up at Jonghyun’s apartment, dying to know what happened after Jonghyun left with Kibum the previous night. Jinki told her that they had been all over each other before disappearing. As usual, Krystal doesn’t knock, she just turns the knob to his bedroom door. But this time, the door is locked. “Jjong, are you alright?” she asks cautiously. He never locks his door unless he’s really upset and Krystal suddenly becomes worried. She bangs on the door. “Jonghyun open the door! It’s Krystal, let me in.”

Jonghyun sits up in his bed, still in the clothes he left in last night. He drags himself to the door to let Krystal in. He did not really feel like talking to anyone but he knew how persistent she was so he complied.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” she asks, worriedly. Jonghyun closes the door behind her but motions outside.

“I don’t want them to know. Can you speak Korean?”

Krystal nods and complies. “So, what’s bothering you?” she tries again, in Korean like he asked.

“I slept with Kibum last night.” Krystal nods, urging him to continue. “And when we woke up this morning, he asked if we had so I told him yes. Then he got really upset then started making excuses for why he was upset so I left.”

“Jjong, I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s ok. I mean, what did I expect? We were both pretty hammered last night. Of course he wouldn’t want to see me in the morning.” Jonghyun remembers when they were lying together in Kibum’s bed silently. Jonghyun was about to go because they were done but Kibum pulled him back down. Stay with me until morning he had said. Jonghyun feels angry remembering that. “Why the would he ask me to stay with him if he was gonna act like a in the morning?!” He yells angrily.

“Jonghyun.” Krystal doesn’t know what else to say, so she just pulls him in to a hug. “Don’t think about him. He’s obviously a jerk.”