Chapter 1: It's Complicated

Fists and Glasses

Kai stood by the lockers and grabbed out his book for his next lesson. Just as he was about to put the book in his backpack, Baekhyun grabbed it and threw it away from him. Kai was shocked. Baekhyun leaned towards Kai's ear. "I have a ing surprise, you ing weaboo nerd. Meet me behind the school at recess." Kai did as he said, and as soon they saw each other they started making out ravishly.

Kai suddenly stopped making out and stared into Baekhyun's eyes. "I can't do this anymore!" he whispered so quietly that Baekhyun almost didn't hear him. But luckily he did. Baekhyun gazed into the distance and whispered back, "I guess we aren't meant for eachother Kai.. I thought you were different…" Kai couldn't bear being there anymore and had to walk away. He walked away. Baekhyun screamed at him, "GAY LORD MOTHERER.." Kai teared up fast. The bullying is back on track again. Crap. 

Fortunately it was recess and Sehun was sitting under a tree while reading a Shinee fanfic. Just as he finished the sentence where Jonghyun pooped himself infront of Taemin, Kai suddenly sat down beside him. Sehun startled as and yelled, "WHAT THE ." Kai looked at him and apologized, "I'm so sorry, I didn't even see you.. You see, I just broke up with someone.. kinda.." Kai said with a very sad voice. Sehun felt sorry for the boy, and asked who he kinda broke up with. Kai answered, "Baekhyun." Chills ran up Sehun's spine. He had heard of that name before, but where? He thought and thought, and finally he found out where. His bestfriend, Chanyeol, had told him he had a crush on this Baekhyun boy, when they had a sleepover party at Sehun's house. Chanyeol had noticed how mean Baekhyun were, and even though he were the Head in Charge at school who always beat up the nerds, Chanyeol still loved that guy. Kai broke his thoughts with a loud sigh, and told him, "and the worst of all.. he is my bully too... so im gonna get beat up in a couple of minutes.." Sehun couldn't let this happen. This Kai was too cute to get beat up, and how could Chanyeol have a crush on such a monster, Sehun thought to himself. Sehun turned towards him and said, "Kai…. I have a plan."

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ParkMiyoung
#1
Chapter 5: I gotta say, I did like the story plot. But, you have a lot to learn still. For one, you could try and use a bit more detail, also on the background story. It seemed very rushed, because the events just happened really quickly and again there were small details missing (like how they get from one place to another, do they walk? Take the elevator? Etc.) such details seem insignificant, but if you want to really become a writer, those details make the story a real story.

This is only your first story right? Well for a first it was okay ^_^
By reading books you'll get what I mean with details and it also will help improve your writingstyle. Now I'm not saying I'm a good writer, but I read thousands of books and I just try to judge your story a bit by them.

I wish you good luck in the future and as you keep writing stories, it'll become easier!
ParkMiyoung
#2
Since you are so serieus of becoming an author in the future, I will read this fanfiction and once I've finished I will honestly tell you what my opinion on the story is and give you some feedback for your future stories :)
holyjongin #3
love it! love the humour hahaha
jonginyo #4
Chapter 2: AHAHA, omg dying from laughter lmao. great story, really curious about the rest of the story, keep updating pls! :)
SehunsWoman #5
Chapter 2: Oh my god! This story is funky fresh! I love it, its original and new. Please update more. I wonder whats Chanyeol going to say now.