Chapter Three
Loveless
Ara’s breath clouded around her small lips as she sighed out. The morning's sun felt warm on the nape of her slim neck. She had not been late, which eased her nerves to some extent. Ara knew she could not afford to irritate the cold man any further. If he deemed her incompetent, she needed to prove him otherwise. An hour seemed to have passed and still there were no signs of the other man arriving to their arranged session. Ara paced back and forth, feet disturbing the gravel beneath her as she did.
“So you’re here” a sharp voice startled her, Ara turned to face the other and was immediately consumed by the beauty of the cold man.
Her breath hitched as her eyes trailed up and down at him. Jaejoong stood majestically before her, his fair skin looked beautifully ghostly in the light. The front locks were sheered shorter and looked like ebony ribbons in the wind, whilst the rest of his sleek hair was loosely tied back. His dark cascade of hair fell down to his waist only further emphasising his feminine features. Ara eyed his toned physique and built arms which were displayed through his sleeveless tunic. A sudden warmth rushed to her cheeks as she met Jaejoong’s intense glare.
“Are you going to just stand there gawping?” he snapped, breaking her from her state of awe.
“N-n-no” she responded averting her eyes to her feet. Jaejoong sighed exaggeratedly, hold a sword in both hands he tossed one at her. The gravel scattered slightly as the discarded sword landed at her feet. Hesitantly Ara picked it up, the weight of it made her dip slightly.
This only caused Jaejoong to roll his eyes and he stood by studying the girl carefully. This is a complete waste of my time. Why am I stuck with this fool? He cursed internally.
“Now hold the sword with both hands and position yourself like this” Jaejoong instructed, positioning himself in demonstration.
Ara fumbled with the sword briefly as she got use to the weight but eventually managed to vaguely imitate Jaejoong’s position. “Li-like this?” she queried. Jaejoong let his eyes skim her, he assessed her intently and in all honesty she wasn’t an utter disgrace, but he’d be damned before he let her know that.
“If that’s the most you can accomplish, then yes it will have to suffice” he groaned. Ara wouldn’t let him get to her, she had to prove him wrong. She had not come this far only to be bullied back to that place.
“Now what?” she questioned, unaware her eagerness only irritated Jaejoong further.
“I didn’t realise you were giving me orders?!” he sneered.
Ara bit her lip, he’s testing me, she thought. “N-no, I just wanted to…” she was cut off by Jaejoong who sighed in aggravation.
“I’ll decide what to do next, you just listen. Now when I lunge at you, you must try to block my attacks. Understood?” he explained in a terse manner.
Ara nodded reluctantly as she wasn’t too familiar with the terms of combat. Jaejoong immediately detected the girl’s sudden uneasiness, this is going to be a disaster, he noted to himself.
Changmin’s hungrily eyed his bowl of noodles, the sweet smell perfuming the air around him. He coiled the delicious threads with his fork and brought it to his mouth. As he gently blew, steam emitted from the noodles and settled on his lips causing them to go moist. Despite his dire need to satiate his hunger something diverted his attention from his food. Instead his interest was aroused by the distant clanging of swords, he knew it only meant one thing. “So it begins” he smiled to himself.
“Faster! Faster!” Jaejoong instructed in between strikes with his sword. Ara struggled in blocking Jaejoong’s attacks, eyes darting frantically in attempts to predict his next move. Jaejoong moved his blade swiftly and readied himself to go in for another attack when he paused. “Changmin. Why are you here?” Jaejoong asked monotonously.
Changmin was leaning against a pillar of the entrance to the training grounds, his eyes instinctively fell onto Ara who paid him a wary smile. “I just wanted to see how the little shrimp was coping. Heaven knows how exhausted she must be” he jested. Ara broke into a broad grin which only faded when Jaejoong scrutinized her.
“Not exhausted enough” he snorted and resumed his previous position.
Ara’s brow was now beaded with sweat, strands of hair clung to the sides of her neck. She knew her defence was sloppy and often she wasn’t able to block his attacks. Nevertheless Jaejoong did not go any easier on her, she began to wonder if he was actually harsher on her than anyone else. Jaejoong commenced his attack, the blade swooped in and Ara stumbled backwards in attempts to inhibit it.
“Come on!” he yelled in exasperation.
Changmin watched cautiously, noticing that each time Jaejoong laid an attack, Ara’s ability to block slackened. Whatever you do, do not drop your- Changmin’s thoughts were interrupted by a sudden clatter.
Ara stood stupefied as the cold blade was against , the chilling sensation only amplified when her gaze met Jaejoong’s piercing eyes. Jaejoong withdrew his sword and sheathed it, the frustration brewing within him. “I-I’m sorry. I’ll do better next ti-” Jaejoong cut her off, giving a glare which showed nothing but contempt for her.
“There will be no next time. I cannot teach someone as incompetent as you. When I first saw you, I knew you would be a burden and I was right. You would barely survive training, let alone going on patrols and fighting in battle is far out of the question. Yunho was wrong to think that I could make anything of you. So before you make any more of an embarrassment of yourself you should leave. You can't and never will become one of us” he hissed venomously.
Tears formed at the corners of her eyes, Jaejoong had left yet his words remained engraved within her.
Changmin walked over to Ara and gently place and arm around her shoulders, pulling the smaller girl closer to his side. “It’ll be alright. He’s harsh with everyone.” He consoled.
Her doe shaped eyes looked up at the tall man “He hates me doesn’t he” she sighed gloomily.
Changmin stared back at her endearingly, he had grown a fondness for the young girl. “No shrimp, he doesn’t. He may seem cold and prickly on the outside but Yunho told me that he’s warm and kind when you get to know him. Don’t take what he says to heart, he’s harsh but he does it to push us to our full potential” he assured her.
“I see…” Ara responded, gently shrugging Changmin’s arm off her shoulder. Patting herself down and brushing the dust off her garments, she slowly made her way toward the large entryway. “I guess the only person who’s seen his nice side is Yunho-sshi right?” she asked.
“Yep. Yunho is the only person he opens up to. They’re quite close, since they were younger” Changmin responded, catching up to walk beside her.
“Why? I mean why is he like that in the first place?” she probed. It seemed there existed a void within him, one that Ara wanted to understand.
Changmin quirked an eyebrow in an amused fashion. “Why the sudden interest in Jaejoong hyung? You haven’t taken a liking to him have you?” he jested, the corners of his mouth curled into a broad grin.
“YAH! NO WAY!” Ara exclaimed, which only erupted more laughter from Changmin. “I mean it… I just want to get along with him, like I do with the rest of you” she protested.
Changmin simmered down his cackling “I was kidding, but you’re delusional if you think you will be able to get along with Jaejoong hyung that easily” he explained.
Sighing she came to a halt, she wished Jaejoong hadn’t left abruptly as she truly wanted to acquire some swordsmanship. She knew that she was a liability and she wanted to be of some use to them. “Yeah I suppose you’re right. He doesn’t even think I’m worth training. He thinks I’m an idiot” she mumbled, feeling dejected.
“Hey, look at me” Changmin cooed, placing both hand firmly on her shoulders. “Jaejoong will only train you seriously if he feels challenged enough. By meekly accepting whatever he throws at you, he knows he can walk all over you and therefore you aren’t worth his time. If he’s not willing to train you then you bring the fight to him, make him know that you’re not backing down” he explained.
“Yeah well I will need to be able to fight in order to do that don’t I?” she responded gloomily.
“Exactly! I will teach you the basics. Once you have a strong foundation, then it’s all a matter of agility and calculation.” He asserted.
Ara pondered over the other’s idea and came to a conclusion. “Okay… Let’s do this” she smiled. I hope this works.
The early light was searing through a narrow gap between the wooden doors of her window. Ara sluggishly slit her eyes open, the light being oppressively bright, irritated every sense in her body. A surge of pain ran through her joints which only made her feel ever the more fatigued. “Aish” she slurred, her voice raspy. Ara slung her legs over the side of her bed and winced as an aching sensation rushed down her spine. It had been nightfall by the time her training with Changmin had ceased, her energy had been rinsed out her toward the end of it all. This is it…
Yunho lightly drummed his fingers upon the table’s smooth surface, an old habit he’d often take to when in deep thought. Jaejoong watched the slender fingers dance across the dark mahogany, it was only when the other looked up at him that he averted his gaze.
Jaejoong cleared his throat. “As I was saying, we need to start recruiting men extensively. If they won’t come to us then we must go to them” he expressed.
“That won’t work. They don’t want to join us, you’re forgetting that becoming a part of the men of the realm is not popular. They hate us” Yunho answered blandly.
“Then what about if we round up criminals. They would have to comply, if given a choice between a death penalty and joining us I’m sure they would choose the latter” Jaejoong suggested, eyes watching the other man attentively. The said man’s lips twisted, brows furrowed at what Jaejoong had proposed.
“No, we will not let criminals taint our name. People will hate us further, thinking that we’re liberating criminals from their punishment” he insisted stubbornly. They were short of men, he knew, however he refused to let their name get tarnished.
“Then I sup-”. An abrupt bang cut Jaejoong short.
“You didn’t show up to our lesson” Ara exclaimed breathlessly. The sash of her garments were tied sloppishly, arm hung loosely by her side as it clasped to her sword.
Jaejoong tensed, he hadn’t expected the girl to be so persistent. Most would have given up due to his malicious comments. Yet there she stood within eye line of him, how quickly she had become the bane of his existence. “Did I not make myself clear the other day? You are not worth my time nor are you of use to us. Now remove yourself from my presence, you interrupted a rather important discussion” he stated bluntly. Jaejoong watched the girl’s shoulders sag in despair causing him to smirk triumphantly.
“But I spent all day yesterday practicing!” she whined, the frustration stirring within her.
“Do you think you can master any form of swordsmanship within a measly day? You must be delusional” he retorted. Jaejoong glanced at Yunho who appeared to be more than amused with the situation.
Sensing the other man’s eyes on him Yunho faced Jaejoong, who wore an expression which read are you not going to say anything? Yunho only shrugged in response, earning him an eye roll from the other.
“No, but I am confident that I have improved” Ara replied in matter of fact manner.
Jaejoong raised a brow “Oh really?” he sneered.
The piercing sound of the sword being unsheathed alarmed Ara. Jaejoong charged his sword at her, his swift footwork made him more agile making it all the more harder for Ara to block his attacks. The flat side of the blade caught the edge of his just inches away from her face. Just as before her defence grew increasingly weak with each attack. It wasn’t long before she was in the familiar position of Jaejoong’s sword resting on the crook of her neck.
“Like I said… waste of time” he uttered coldly.
“That’s not fair! You came at me when I was unprepared!” Ara moaned.
“Oh I’m afraid the enemy won’t be waiting for you prepare before they attack!” he countered smugly.
Ara felt the chill of the blade leave her neck and watched the man walk away from her. She couldn’t see but she knew he was smirking to himself. Waste of time, the words echoed mockingly in her head. “No” she gritted, the aggravation consuming her. Unaware of what she was doing, Ara lunged at Jaejoong.
Jaejoong swung round in time to inhibit her blow, eyes widened as he was unable to comprehend what happened. She… she caught me… off guard? This time felt different, as if something was fuelling her. Jaejoong somewhat struggled as Ara blindly swung her sword.
Yunho sat a spectator, eyes intently fixated of the both of them. Never had anyone fought back at Jaejoong, they always were passive towards him. He saw it too, the shock in the cold’s man face was visible even if she didn’t notice. She’s… different, he smiled to himself. However his thoughts were disrupted by the clanging of metal, followed by a thump.
Ara lay, back against the cold ground. The point of the blade just grazing the surface of , Jaejoong towered over her, panting softly. Spotting this Ara smiled, he had taken longer this time which only meant that she took him by surprise.
“Don’t grin like you have achieved anything. It was a cheap shot, you attacked me when my back was turned” he snarled in annoyance. Jaejoong knew that though he was the victor, she still bested him in his eyes. Never had anyone caught him off guard, let alone surprise him. Especially not that of an incompetent girl.
“So would the enemy” she retorted.
Jaejoong almost choked on his saliva, she was repeating his words to him as if to mock him. He turned to face Yunho, who sat idly by. Jaejoong’s cheeks puffed in infuriation when he was given a look which read she has got a point.
Before the tense silence could prolong any further, Ara cleared attaining both men’s attention. “So… will you agree to teach me again? I promise that I will take it seriously and try to improve as much as I can. I want to be useful, I want to help. So please, let me learn from you. Please teach me” she pleaded.
Jaejoong stared at the girl before him, her doe shaped eyes looked glassy, and she held so much desperation that it irked him. He knew she had done nothing yet he detested her, he himself did not fully understand the reasoning behind his resentment for her. Perhaps it was the fact that Yunho accepted her so blindly, so warmly. He knew nothing of her yet he welcomed her as if she were an old friend. Why did such a thing bother him? I won’t let you become one of us… he avowed
“No” he said icily, before storming out of the room.
Ara sat up straight sulkily, she really thought he might reconsider. It was only until she saw the outstretched hand in front of her that she stood up. Yunho’s concerned eyes bore into her, Ara smiled awkwardly unable to meet his gaze.
“Are you alright?” he asked softly, eyes never leaving her. The girl nodded meekly, which made Yunho smile in return. “I’m glad… I’ll send someone to check on you later. Excuse me” he bowed politely before leaving the room.
Jaejoong thundered through the elongated corridor, he could sense him walk behind him but he chose to ignore it.
“Jaejoong! Wait” Yunho called out. Relieved that the other halted, he sprinted toward the cold figure. “What was that all about?” he asked firmly.
Jaejoong merely scoffed. “Don’t Yun! I stand by my decision. There is no skill in attacking one from the behind” he justified. He could read the disappointment in the other’s face, yet he would not let that change his mind.
“Neither is lunging at her without even warning her” Yunho responded.
This angered Jaejoong, why was Yunho defending her? He couldn’t understand at all. “Why are you so adamant on her joining us? What do you see in her?!” he vented.
Despite Jaejoong’s sudden outburst, Yunho still kept his composure. Yet something in Jaejoong’s words had caused him to ponder, why was he always defending her? Why was he so adamant on her joining them? For he knew that she would not make any difference to the shortage of men, but still he insisted on her becoming one of them. Ever since the first day he saw her, something had drawn Yunho to her, something about her was alluring. “Look all I’m saying is that you shouldn’t be too quick to judge. She surprised you, I know it and so do you. We should protect her” he tried to reason with the other man.
“But why?! Yun if you think that by protecting her you will resolve any misplaced guilt you have about your uncle, then you’re wrong!” as soon as the words left his lips, Jaejoong froze in realisation of what he had said.
Yunho was hurt, he knew. The corners of his eyes glinted with sadness. Before Jaejoong could take back what he had said, Yunho had already turned to leave. Each footstep he took away pained Jaejoong a little more inside. What have I done?
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