A/N 

I'm SO sorry I like dissapeared! Also an advanced apology for this a/n which is seemingly longer than the chap itself. I think I had writer's block?

I only noticed that I got another upvote after I finished typing and editing the 3rd chap. Thank you Apple-Piggy and 2minyeol-ee for taking interest in my weird fic.

It was hard to write the fluff because I didn't want it to become too weird. I don't mind any discrimination because I want to know your opinions about this fic, so don't hesitate!

PS:Lol, the day after I wrote the 1st chap, unlucky stuff happened, so...I will just hope I don't fall into a hole or something. 

Btw. You all can complain if I repeat some words too much, whether my valentine special was too cliché or if my writing style is too dark and heavy. I hate stuff that repeat anyways.

WARNING: THIS CHAP WILL CONTAIN SADISTIC STUFF. Please PM me or comment on a chap if u don't think u can and I will let you know the important details.

Just kidding. I don't write scary enough for tht..

I recommend you to listen to this -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3fqE01YYWs for a short while. After the first paragraph,you can just stop it. Because it goes on for like 10 minutes, so...yeah. Go on...>:3

Chapter 4 : Insomnia and Jobs

--Haeri

I kept falling and as I fell, the surroundings became redder and redder. Peculiar magnetic sound-waves accompannied me in the background. It sounded so very mysterious. It somehow sounded hollow, and empty as how the pit was now. However, that didn't last long though, the surroundings were getting darker and darker by the seconds as I fell. Did I mention I was afraid of heights?

The sound stopped soon after, only to be replaced by the wails, shouts, screams and shrieks of the tortured souls there.

Their skinny and bony hands grabbed after me, their fingernails leaving scratch marks and the strength they inflicted upon my skin left bruises forming. Their strength were not to be underestimated. Even though their structure was as said above, I couldn't help but be disturbed and troubled by the fact that the power they wielded were more than that of a normal human being, even though they were being starved.

And for some reason, despite the fact that I was falling, plus the fact I was probably gonna die, I didn't shout. Or maybe because I couldn't.

My heart raced harder and faster by the second. The hand grabbing became stronger and stronger as I fell. It was like my soul was being ripped apart.

 I'd rather that happen. This was way too terrifying even for a sadist like me. 

I held my breath as I closed my eyes, trying to tune out the feelings of being grabbed and horrified, as well as the images of those grabbing hands.

It was like I was being punished for all my wrong-doings altogether. The souls that grabbed after me pulled with all their might, as if they wanted to eat me. I was scared beyond my wits. At this rate, I'm going to need to get my heart checked, as well as my brain for all the damage caused by this.

I couldn't even breathe properly. My breath had already started hitching and it wasn't even one minute yet. I wondered when this horror would end. This couldn't get any worse.

I stood corrected: as I entered the depth of the pit further, it became worse. It was as if the souls got more powerful and terrifying. The souls flew around me, whispering all their dirty, cruel, disgusting thoughts in my ears.

''I'm going to eat you up. on your neck and slowly slit open your throat as my teeth grave past it while you slowly bleed to your beautiful death.' 

I woke with a hand grasping the fabric of my shirt near my heart, gasping for air. With the realization of the things seen earlier were but a nightmare, I sighed in relief. I looked around myself noticing how the bedsheets and blankets were tossed about and how my bolster was lying on the floor, along with my socks that were somehow taken off in my sleep. My room was the definition of a mess.

I wiped the sweat off my forehead with the back of my palm. The thin fabric of my shirt glued onto my skin and my pants were uncomfortable. My head was now throbbing in pain. Only now had I realized that I was already sitting up on my bed. I chuckled at my own cluelessness. 

My right hand reached out for my cell phone at the black and sleek nightstand I own. I felt around the smooth surface before proceeding to grab the item. I squinted my eyes at the device. Since the room was dark, my cell seemed like a blazing sun although the brightness of the screen was set to zero.

I didn't know how I got here, the last things I remember are sleeping on Yoseob's couch, dreaming about him almost kissing me and falling into a pit. How unusual.

1:52

Saturday

1 March, 2014

The digits displayed themselves on the screen along with the date, one fifty-two in the morning huh? That's an unsual time for me to wake up. 

I groan as I switch on the light an plop myself on the bouncy bed I own. Great. Now I won't be able to sleep. I huffed and pouted before closing myself and tried to make sleepiness wash over me.

That didn't happen though, I sighed and messed my hair up while making my way towards the refrigerator in the kitchen. I switched the light on and I looked for something sweet, anything sweet. 

Sweet things always made me feel better, they always make me forget. Forget about all those things... Forget about how pathetic I was, about how I was always a burden to others, about how I always made other people around me suffer, my mere presence already troubled them, lest ruined their lives.

I had caused my mother to suffer even before I was born, I was unwanted. She didn't need me, she was but a teenager when she found out about having me grow inside her. She hated the fact that I existed, the fact that I ruined her life. I couldn't blame her for hating me. Who wouldn't? 

All I remember was the description of an orphanage caretaker about her. I was overwhelmed by his kindness. He was the only one who even bothered to talk to me there.

He said that she had dark brown eyes and hair flowing right below her shoulders. He also said that she seemed like a nice person. He explained to me that she left me there because she hated the fact that having herself make such a simple mistake caused her life to take such a downfall. She was only 17. She wasn't even in her senior yet. Of course she would hate me, at least dislike me right? I continued thinking as a small part of me hoped that that wasn't the case.

I hoped that she liked me in the least, having the sole reason being that I was her creation. I knew all of it wasn't true but I wanted to believe that. I wanted to believe that she couldn't keep me, that she couldn't bear to rid of me and had to because she was forced to do so. I knew I was being pathetic once again, but I couldn't help it, that was how I always was, how I always had been, how I always have been and how I always will be. I didn't know why I wanted to believe that in the first place. Hope has never been something I held onto, it has never been something I believed in and I never will.

I chuckled at myself, how can someone cry while looking for something like sweets? I shuffled around the fridge to find what I was looking for, failing, I switched off the lights and walked back to my room while sniffling softly. Things always get messy when one cries.

I looked for something light to change into before trying to sleep again, checking the time before I go into my 'wonderland'.

4:57

Saturday

1 March, 2014

I looked at the screen and smirked. Even life hates me.

I checked my bag to see if it was in lack of anything and looked through my homework to check how many I had left to do. I grabbed my work uniform and went into the bathroom which was always brightly lit.

I dropped the pile of clothes into a dry corner of the bathroom. I stripped off my clothes and heated up the water for the shower. I don't want to cry anymore. I don't want to waddle in anyone's pity. I don't want to be a burden to anyone anymore. I thought to myself as I tried to blink the tears that streaked down my face endlessly away.

I tested the heat of the water before showering. I adjusted the shower head and went under it. Closing my eyes at the contact of the warm water, I relived my dream. I shot open my eyes, trying not to imagine those things again.

I let the warm water flow down my body before getting the soap and shampoo in my hair and on my body. I rubbed the dirt off as the water of the shower washed away the chemicals.

I dried myself with the white towel that hung from the metal bar that lived on the other side of the half transparent glass. I dressed without a second thought, acustommed to the routine of mine.

I headed off to the streets slinging my sling bag over one shoulder and grabbed an unmbrella in a hand. The long streets of Seoul were anything but calm. At this hour of day, the people had already started to fill the streets with life.

A wet drip of water made me look up. Dark clouds hovered the sky and rain poured down like no tomorrow. I pulled out my umbrella for use to find out that it was broken.

I used my sling bag as my umbrella and hurried over to my workplace in high heels. Not a good combination.

I made my card parallel with something that looks like a censor or scanner and a beep was heard. I pushed the heavy glass door and headed inside. To my dismay, I was late. After receiving a scolding from my boss, I changed into a spare uniform that I brought with me. If only I checked whether the umbrella was still okay. I sighed. Another heavy weekend of work awaits me.

I tied my hair into a pony-tail and grabbed the cleaning supplies. My eyes bored into the big spacious room for a few seconds. It was a big mess. It seems that they had a party here yesterday. Isn't this supposed to be a spare room? Ugh, these people.

I hurriedly dipped the mop into a wet bucket and turned it into a circle before squeezing the water out at the bucket with criss-crossed plastic lines.

I mopped the floor three times, wiped all the windows and shined the doorknobs as well as the rest of the metal stuff that needed shining. I moved the wheeled chairs back into their original places and wiped the tables before changing into my normal attire that was kept in the janitors' lockers.

I went into my boss' office and informed him that I would be going off as I already finished my duties. I kept walking forward until I saw a coffee vending machine. I bought an iced black coffee and landed my on the bench softly. I inhaled the intoxicating scent before finishing the beverage. I dumped it in a bin and changed my shoes before continuing my walk to my next part-time job, checking the time before doing so.

9.15

Saturday

1 March, 2014

I sighed in relief. Usually I would spend too much time cleaning and have money deducted from my pay. 

I walked into the dimly lit café and wore the cap all the staff their did, minus the manager.

I changed shifts with a worker I befriended and greeted her before she left after doing the same. I stood at the counter waiting for customers to serve. The day went by dully. The customers came in lots by lots due to the endless rain. I took the orders and tried to plaster a smile on my face even if it meant putting on a fake smile and acting up a façade. I hated my life. I hated how I always had to pretend. I hated how horrible my life was and is. I hated how this was all reality. I hated how I was myself. I hated everything.

I hated the way the world works. I hated the way how life would keep repeating itself, even though it goes on forever like how time waits for no one and how the rivers never stop flowing. I was sick of myself, the way I reacted to my thoughts, just everything. Without noticing, a tear had already came rolling down my left cheek, dampening it. I quickly wiped the tear away, also erasing the traces of its existense. Like how I wanted my life to be erased.

Luckily there were no customers at the counter that time and no one realized that, otherwise I would have a hard time answering their questions.

12.30

Saturday

1 March, 2014

My second part-time job for the day finally ended. I went to the nearby roadside stall I usually ate at. It was convenient and relatively cheap compared to the food and drinks sold at other roadside stalls.

It was quite shabby and old-looking but the cleanliness was okay and the food was nice there.

I shouted my order to the stall's ahjumma who became quite familiar with me after all the times I ate at her store. She smiled at me as she passed me my order, asking how my day was. I faked a smile and answered saying that it was like the usual. I gave her the money for the order and she went on with her work. I wonder how she's able to be in such a good mood having to deal with so many customers, just business I guess. I sighed once more before eating my food emotionlessly.

I let my schedule be free for one hour. Eating took up half an hour, so that gives me more than enough time to walk to my next part time job.

Observing the plants and flowers on the sidewalk, I didn't know where I was heading. I bumped into someone and I quickly bowed and apologized. I looked up to see a face so familiar, but I couldn't place my finger on it. Before I could say another word, the person stormed off and bumped my shoulder harshly while cursing under his breath, causing me to stumble back a little. What a temper he has.

I put my hand in my jacket's pockets. The weather was still quite chilly even though spring was right at the corner. A cold wind blew and I shivered. If it rains again, I'm a goner.

I hurried off to the place having nothing else to do but waste time, I hope I get more money by going earlier. Being a minor is such a fuss, not being able to get a full-time job or live alone.

I greeted my boss with a 90 degree bow, wore an apron and a cap to ensure the customers' the cleanliness of the bakery. I mixed the dough and molded them into different shapes and put them into the oven after. 

The business of the bakery was slow, as always. It wasn't a surprise, having a bad economy downfall and all.

At around 8.30, I was done with my shift. I took off my cap and apron. I put them back in their respective places and headed back to the roadside stall to have a meal and went back by bus.

I was bored of my endlessly repeating life but I needed the money.

I dozed off in the back of the corner of the bus as usual with white earphones in my ears playing the music that I love. As the bus came to a halt at the final stop. I bowed at the bus driver and walked the short distance back to my house. 

I wish my life wasn't so boring.

---

A long update for my readers. It over 2500 words. I will try to make a double update. I hope this wasn't too boring.

To my classmate/ reader:

I know you are out there somewhere...if you don't want me to reveal your real name, come out and tell me who you are.

Muahahaha, I'm so evil. :3

See you all in the next chap!

I need to go now...I'll edit this later..sorry..