When you woke up, there was not grass beneath you or sun in your eyes. It no longer smelled like the outside, but there was a tinge of orange in the air and the room you were in was warm. Daehyun could be heard from inside another room singing along to a tune on the radio, and there was the sizzling of something on a stovetop. When you finally opened your eyes, you saw you were in a plush bed, one side still messed up from where you assume Daehyun laid beside you. Your bags were by the door, and everything inside was antique, but it felt cozy. Sunhwa’s house reminded you of something you’d see in a magazine for renovations or even something someone’s grandma would own. Maybe she had inherited the land and she just didn’t bother modernizing the house. That seemed like the most logical reason.

                You got up though, kicking the sheets off your legs and stepping down onto the wooden floors. The grain felt odd against your feet, but as you walked, it was something that was quick to get accustomed to. Into the kitchen you went, seeing Daehyun standing around and cutting some fruit up as he swayed his hips and sang just above the volume of the stereo. He was smiling it seemed with his hair all sticking up from just having a shower and it still wasn’t quite dry. His skin was sun-kissed and as you looked to the clock, you knew the sun had been up for a while now, and looking at the fruits on the counter, you spoke up.

                “Did you go out this morning and pick those?” you asked, and Daehyun spun around on his heels to face you, smiling wide and his face scrunched up with happiness.

                “Yes! I did! Sunhwa said that spring has come early so there’s a lot of fresh fruits blooming and she said if we want to come back in the summer for watermelon we can! Also-“ he said, putting down what he was working on and walking towards you. He cupped your face in his hands and softly kissed you, letting it linger for a few moments before pulling away and kissing your forehead. “Good morning sweet angel.”

                You giggled at his kindness and pushed him away lightly, walking past him and into the kitchen to grab some fruit, popping it into your mouth and enjoying the tart and sweet taste of how fresh it was. Since they weren’t completely ripe, and Daehyun didn’t seem to know that by looking on the counter at everything he had picked out, the flavor was going to be different, but you didn’t let him know that.

                “You should go and shower up so we can eat breakfast when you’re done. I’m going to start some eggs soon and Sunhwa has bacon she said we could use as well!” Daehyun told you, sounding excited. He was always really elated when food was mentioned, and it was mostly because food was scarce beforehand, but he also said that there’s no way you can be unhappy on a full stomach.

                “What, you took a shower without me?” you asked, and Daehyun laughed out and returned into the kitchen. He pulled out a pan from inside a cabinet and placed it down on the stove, turned up the heat and went to the fridge to get some eggs now.

                “Well, working outside gets me really sweaty and I didn’t want to be gross when you woke up. You can manage a shower without me. Besides, Sunhwa said we can stay an extra night if we want to and I’m thinking we should unless you want to get moving. Through, my back hurts from laying on the ground all night.” he said.

                “Speaking of, did you pick me up and carry me inside last night?” you asked, and Daehyun nodded as he put his hand over the pan to check the temperature. He cracked and egg and that signaled you needed to go and shower. “Is the shampoo and other stuff already inside the shower?” you asked him, and Daehyun nodded again, concentrating on what he was cooking. He really did not want to mess up your eggs. You grinned behind his back though and went off to shower, letting the water run down your skin and ridding you of the grime.

                When the shampoo was lathered in your hair, it became lighter almost as the grease and dirt was washed away. It was at the point where if you were paying close enough attention you were sure the suds would have a darker color to them, but you weren’t really focused on much of anything at the moment other than getting clean and the smell of sausage wafting in from the kitchen. That in itself urged you to shower quicker, and as you stepped out, dried off and got dressed, you heard a timer ring and Daehyun’s chair scrape against the floor. He did a little cheer for his job well done as took the eggs from the pan and put them onto a plate for you.

                While you were away for the short while, Daehyun had dressed up the table with a tablecloth and a daffodil in a vase that was at the center. It was all very quaint in the morning light, but Daehyun beamed proudly as you walked out into the mainstay again and saw his work. He had already dished out your portion and was standing behind your chair, waiting to push you in.

                “Well, come on! I’m hungry!” Daehyun laughed out, and you chuckled at his urgency and walked to your spot, sitting down into your chair and Daehyun tucked you in against the table, making sure everything was set for you before he went and sat down across from you, his plate full to the brim with meats and fruits and eggs. There was more still in the kitchen and you were positive Daehyun was going to go back for seconds. Daehyun looked happy though as he picked up a fork and started to eat before anything got cold. Though, on the occasion, he’d look up and smile at your fresh face before blushing a little and retuning to eating.

                He was a peculiar person that you had learn to like even with all of his personality quirks. When he chewed, he vaguely resembled a goat gnawing on grass and another thing was that his stomach was a black hole and no matter how much you fed him he was always hungry. On the flip side though, he could go without food for a while and be fine as well, but you wouldn’t allow him to do that half the time since you liked his body the way it was. He had faint abs. It wasn’t anything jaw dropping, but he was thin and his hips stuck out. His thighs were still thick though and that was nice. His skin was tanner now that you’d been with him more and he got more sunlight in healthier doses as opposed to just the constantly beating down on him during what he called his “hikes” through the streets. He tried to make it seem like he enjoyed himself, though when Daehyun spoke about his life being homeless it was all very sarcastic sounding and so bitter you bet he could taste it.

                “Is the food not good?” Daehyun asked, looking at your barely touched plate. You shook your head though, staring down at the pile in front of you. “Did I serve you too much?”

                “No, Daehyun! You’re fine. I was just lost in thought, but I promise I’ll eat it all. You know, I always eat what you cook me because I know you don’t like doing it, but you still do.” you said, and Daehyun smiled a little before cutting a sausage. “Sunhwa’s a good cook. Wouldn’t you like a wife like her who can cook well?” you asked, and Daehyun just about choked on his sausage before slamming the knife and fork down on the table.

                “Like hell I would when I have someone like you! I’ll cook all the damn time if it means I could marry you and make you my wife!” Daehyun yelled, and then he clapped his hand over his mouth before his whole face turned red, ears and all. He took a gulp of milk to be sure he didn’t choke any more, and you stared on at him with a shocked expression. You knew he felt strongly about you, and he talked about marriage briefly once, but just how angry he seemed made you flinch back a bit, and Daehyun reached out across the table, but he retracted his hand and looked a little hurt that you feared him. This was the second time he lashed out at you, and each time Daehyun seemed like he was so sorry, but he slumped down into his chair and heaved out a sigh.

                “I just, , I don’t even know. I feel like you’re the only person I ever want in my life anymore. You’re the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing when I close my eyes. You’re even in my dreams, and this is like, borderline obsessive of me I’m sure, but I just really feel so much for you. I feel love and joy, sadness and sometimes anger that I’m like this and that I’ve gotten so emotionally dependent on you. I’ve emotionally manipulated you I’m sure to the point where you think if you leave me I’ll kill myself or something.” Daehyun said. His voice was scratchy and he looked like he might get sick. His face was pale and you wanted to get up and be next to him, but he made himself smaller and swallowed. Daehyun sneezed.

                Within a couple of seconds, Daehyun was up from his chair and was kneeling by the trashcan, his body rejecting the food he had just eaten, and you felt fine, so you knew it wasn’t the cooking. Daehyun was stressed at best. He seemed so miserable and you almost felt like you were at fault for not saying anything after his outburst. If you had just told him his feelings weren’t in vain, maybe Daehyun wouldn’t be like this right now. Daehyun meant a lot to you, maybe even husband material if you were brave enough to say, and he occupied your thoughts a lot as well, but as Daehyun wiped the back of his mouth before retching up more, you decided to save it for later,.

                “Do you need water?” you asked, and Daehyun nodded in between puking up a clear liquid, and you knew the entire contents of his stomach were emptied and now it was just burning stomach acid that was being vomited up. “Should I call an ambulance?”

                “No! No, I’m fine.” Daehyun assured you, smiling even though his face was nearly devoid of color. It was a pasty tan now, and it worried you as his whole body shook, his teeth chattering now as he curled up into a ball on the floor, both of your plates left forgotten. “I think it was just something I must have eaten straight from the field without washing it. I’ll have to ask Sunhwa if she put on any pesticides or something. Are you feeling okay?” Daehyun asked, and you nodded before sitting down on the floor next to him and helping him drink the water.

                His hand was gently on yours as you tipped the glass back slowly and he drank in small amounts before swallowing and just taking a breather. He seemed so frail and you set down the cup on the floor and draped your arms around him, pressing your lips to his cheek and trying to restore some warmth into his body.

                “You know Daehyun, you didn’t need to get so defensive when I said marrying someone like Sunhwa wouldn’t be so bad.” you said to Daehyun, your voice soft. You didn’t want him to be angry again, and he let out a sigh and nodded, agreeing with what you were saying.

                “I know, and I’m sorry. Sometimes I’m scared that I’m in this way too damn deep and that you’ll leave me and it’ll all come crashing down. You scare me sometimes more than I scare myself.” Daehyun admitted, and that made your temper flare up some.

                “How many damn times do I have to tell you I’m not going anywhere? Daehyun, you are being manipulative, and I’m not going to put up with that. Just drill it in your head that I’m here to stay and you are as well. You’re my boyfriend and I wouldn’t trade you for anyone else in the world. You’re someone special to me, probably the most special person, and you just don’t seem to get that!” you yelled, and Daehyun’s body shrank as he curled into a ball on the floor. This time, there was not comfort as you shoved the water towards him and commanded him to drink. He did, and some fell down his chin because it was quivering. His eyes were wide and when you reached back for the glass, he flinched away and ended up dropping it on the ground.

                Nothing broke, but water splashed around him as he recoiled again at the noise, and it hit you again that when you got mad or raised your voice or did anything that could potentially harm him, he has experienced that tenfold, and it made him nervous. It didn’t just make him nervous. Daehyun completely shut down because he expected to be hit and you could only ponder how many times he stared death in the face, and maybe the acne scars weren’t just scars from a skin problem. Maybe there were some that were deeper. You haven’t really ever had time to examine his body as thoroughly as you would like. Daehyun’s body was a literal wonderland to you, and some day you hope to map it out with your hands and you mouth and in every possible way. Daehyun was absolutely yours and he made sure to let you know all the time.

                “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to raise my voice. I was just, frustrated… you know?” you asked him, and Daehyun hid his face his in hands as he let out a cry. You had really scared him, and his whole body was shaking. Daehyun looked broken and like a child. You got up to grab a towel to clean the water off the floor while he sat, collecting himself and picking up the pieces you had knocked loose. Feeling awful, you offered him your hand, but Daehyun shook his head and he balled up more. He had a blush on his face and you hadn’t done anything, which means he was thinking something or had done something himself. “What are you thinking?” you asked, and Daehyun made a noise of discomfort as he squeezed his legs together.

                “Don’t look. Please walk away.” you head Daehyun say, and you threw a towel down on the floor and crouched next to him before he snapped his head up and his entire face was red. “Please,” he whined out. “Please walk away for just a little bit and I’ll clean this up.” he said, and he moved to grab the towel, and you caught a glimpse of what he was blushing about. It wasn’t anything you had done, nor had he really done either. He was ashamed, mortified even as you saw a dampness on his pants, and it wasn’t from the water.

                “Oh. Do you… need me to get you new pants and underwear? Should I start up another bath so we can wash off? I’m sorry. This is all my fault…” you told him, and Daehyun patted at the floor around him and let a few stray tears of sheer embarrassment roll down his cheek.

                “No it’s not. I’m just still really jittery and I lose it sometimes and yes, please start up a bath and get some clothes for me. I can’t… believe I had an accident.  I promise I haven’t had one in a really long time and I won’t let it happen again and-“

                “And it’s fine Daehyun. Accidents happen and I assume you know where Sunhwa’s washing machine is and how to work one. Unless she’s old fashioned and uses like a washboard and hangs stuff out to dry. I wouldn’t be surprised. But just, clean up I guess and I’ll situate everything for you, okay?” you told him, and Daehyun nodded slightly before you walked away. You heard him muttering under his breath about how pissed off he was at himself, but admittedly, when Daehyun showed weakness more than usual, it was kind of cute, and now you knew there was probably no way he could ever ask you if he could top again because he just peed his pants. You wanted to laugh, but after seeing him so rattled, you couldn’t.

                You went and grabbed some fresh clothes for him and started up the bath, making sure it was nice and warm and you thought about staying in there with him and helping him bathe, because he seemed worn out now. You still needed to do dishes and afterwards you wanted to tuck him back into bed for a nap. Daehyun always tried to impress you even though he didn’t have to. You were still happy about how he had cooked everything for you and was eager to please. He was too eager sometimes, and you needed to let him know to take a break every so often. He was killing himself and that killed you.

                When the tub was halfway full, Daehyun walked into the bathroom shielding himself even though you had seen it all before. You laughed a little as he walked in, kind of sidestepping into the tub, and it gave you a second to look at his small . There really wasn’t much there, and it was kind of cute. All of Daehyun was kind of cute, even the private places according to him. He said he didn’t like walking around the house because he was self-conscious about his s and said they were too small, but you liked them. Daehyun though always managed to find a flaw about himself whenever you complimented him.

                As he sunk down into the water, he seemed to melt in with it. He looked happy as a small smile broke out onto his face, and he seemed to forget about you for only a couple of second before he looked at you and his eyes were still wide.

                “Are you going to just… stay in here?” he asked, and you shrugged.

                “It’s up to you really. I was thinking I could help you with bathing or I could just sit in and watch and talk with you. I just bathed, remember?” you told him, and Daehyun ran his hand though the water and shrugged back.

                “Oh, yeah.” he replied, but he got an excited look on his face as an idea came to mind. “You can get into the bath with me if you want to. We can drain it and add in bubbles and I’m sure Sunhwa has some sort of salt or whatever you girls to make the baths so much better. That is, if you want to even get in with me. I understand I just kind of wet myself and that’s really gross so…” Daehyun said, and his throat was drying up again as he spoke. He felt terrible. He looked terrible as opposed to the bright and happy tanned boy you watched cook this morning. No matter what happened, Daehyun at the end of the day was still the kid on the streets you had first brought in to your house.

                “I’ll get in with you Daehyun. Drain the bath and I’ll go get myself my soaps and you can look around for bath salts and aromatherapy stuff if you’d like, but I’m not going too since I don’t know Sunhwa well at all. If she comes home and you’re rooting around in places you’re not supposed to, it was your idea.” you said to him, and he nodded and got up from the bath and he made sure you were out before he walked around , looking for whatever. You walked back to your bag and picked out some shampoo, conditioner and body wash and stripped down, and since Daehyun was being shy with his body, that made you too, and when you walked back into the bathroom where Daehyun was now bent over and looking into a cabinet, you grabbed a towel and covered up.

                Daehyun looked over at you while he reached back and pulled out some bath beads, and he grinned, but then scowled when he saw you were covered up.

                “Why are you hiding your body?” he asked, and you grimaced at him.

                “Because you were too and it made me feel weird.” you replied, and Daehyun furrowed his eyebrows together before he looked down at himself and noticed he had a towel around his waist.

                “Oh. I guess I am. I didn’t even notice I had covered up. I’m just used to, well, after work I would normally take a shower and it would hurt really badly so when I looked in the mirror I just didn’t want to see myself.” Daehyun said, and he sighed. There was a hurt smile on his face. “The bruises and blood and cuts really didn’t wash away sometimes and it was just horrid to look at. Thank god most of the things I’ve gone through didn’t scar or I’d look terrible.”

                “Even if you did have scars on you, you’d still look beautiful to me. Scars are a sign of strength. They prove you’ve been through some ty stuff and you survived. Which, I’m glad you have. I’m so glad you survived and I hope you can bear your body to yourself one day.” you said, and as Daehyun stood to start the bath again, his towel fell off his hips and to the floor. He stood or a few moments and just let you stare.

                Daehyun’s body was fit to say the least. His arms were built because at the jobs he had done while living with you, he was the designated heavy lifter. His abs too has definition, and where from, you weren’t quite sure. His whole body had an even, bonze glow about it like he had worked outside all his life, and the way he looked kind of made you think about how he would be as a country husband. Would he go out into the streams and fish for dinner? Would he be up early to pick all the ripe fruit? You’d own an orchard and settle down. Have a few kids. Maybe get a dog and of course the cat would be with you.

                His hair was mussed and it was a brittle looking brown, like if you yanked at it, it would all come out of his head. The rest of the hair on his body seemed ample. He didn’t shave his under arms or his legs, but he did keep his lower regions trimmed, and when your eyes rested on it for more than a few seconds, Daehyun turned his body away from you and blushed.

                “Is something wrong with it?” he asked, and you laughed out at him. He now turned all the way around, and you placed a hand on his shoulder.

                “It’s just the opposite. I was really admiring it and how it’s… it’s nice? I don’t know what to say! It’s embarrassing to talk about it.” you said, and Daehyun slowly turned back around, leaving you to ogle at his again.

                “Well you don’t have to stare! It’s rude!” he yelled even though there was a laugh in his tone.

                “I don’t mean to be rude but it’s just, there!” you shouted back, smiling now, and Daehyun was grinning and he turned to look at the tub again and turned it on again. It seemed to fill up fast.

                “So, how do you want to sit?” he asked, and you looked at the small bath and then to him and his long legs.

                “I was thinking I could sit in between your legs or we could ball up and face one another? You can sit in between my legs too. I have no real preference.” you said to him, and Daehyun rolled his eyes.

                “You’re so indecisive.” he said, and you were about to apologize, but he cut you off. “And stop saying you’re sorry for everything. There’s no need.”

                “I’m- okay. I want to sit between your legs then…” you told him, and Daehyun nodded. He hummed and got back into the bath again and flinched a little when the water was too hot, but he adjusted it and sat down in anyways, waiting a few seconds before offering you a hand and helping you lower yourself between his legs. When you submerged your body into the water, Daehyun immediately wrapped his arms around your waist and pressed your back to his chest, allowing him to use your shoulder as a prop. He looked over it and down at your s which led to you smack him in the face.

                “Don’t look!” you said, and Daehyun touched his nose because you had hit it kind of hard, and he just grinned back.

                “Think of it as revenge for staring at my !” Daehyun laughed out. “Or, I could always just, you know-” he said as he slipped a hand down your body and he placed it on your inner thigh. Your breath hitched and Daehyun had a triumphant smirk on his face, but it wasn’t there for long as you pressed your body against his and you knew was at your mercy. You could crush it if you wanted to, and Daehyun got the message and trailed his hand away.

                “I’m not looking to be touched right now Daehyun. I want to take a bath, and should I really be threatened by a boy who peed his pants?” you asked, and Daehyun’s eyes got glassy like he was about to cry again, and feeling bad, you turned your head and craned your neck to kiss his cheek. “I’m kidding Daehyun. It’s okay.”

                “Are you sure? If it is, please stop making fun of me for it. I’m really embarrassed it even happened and I promise it won’t again. God. I feel like I’m 12 again.” he said.

                “You still wet the bed when you were 12?” you asked, and Daehyun’s whole body flushed red.

                “I mean, in the dark and during storms I would, and my mom would get really mad. You’re probably the first person who’s ever said it was okay and even at 20 I can’t control it. I’m pathetic.” Daehyun laughed to himself bitterly. He shrugged though and told you to dunk your head under the water so he could shampoo your hair. Even though it was a tight fit, you managed to do so and Daehyun uncapped your soap and lathered it into your hair. He used his nails to massage your head and hit all the right places. Your entire body relaxed and sunk farther back into him. He kissed your cheek when you leaned back far enough to the point he could reach.

                “You’re so precious, you know?” Daehyun asked, and you nodded, but you didn’t know. To him, you were a lot of things that you could never understand, but if it came from past Daehyun’s lips, his words were sincere. “I’m going to go crazy I think if I don’t make you my wife. I want to settle down and maybe have a couple kids, no? Maybe in a house like this minus all the antiques because you’re right, it is a little weird…” Daehyun said, and he guided you to dunk your head again and all the shampoo was now floating around you.

                “Did she not have this last time you were here?” you asked as Daehyun uncapped your conditioner and squirted some out onto his hand. He lathered it in your hair and hummed out.

                “No, she did. Maybe she didn’t. I didn’t pay too much attention when I was around here last. I was more focused on getting an actual meal and having a warm place to sleep that was away from harm. Sunhwa’s been such a mother figure and I guess that’s also why I got mad when you suggested marrying someone like her could be nice. I love her, but in the way where it’s like I’m her favorite customer and she’s my favorite employee, except it’s more intimate. She and I have never done anything. We’ve only hugged. She’s never made any moves and neither have I. Here-” he motioned for you to go under again and when you came back up for air, Daehyun was already squeezing out his own shampoo to wash his hair.

                “Are you going to double your cleanliness?” you asked, and he nodded. He did this thing with his upper lip where he pulled it down and it made him look like he was about to sneeze. Either way, it was really cute, and he pushed your forwards so he could finally dunk his head.

                “What’s so wrong with that? You are too.” he said, and his teeth shined when he smiled. If he were to ever stop smiling at you, you were sure your whole life would dim because of the sole factor that his teeth were just so white.

                “Nothing is wrong. I just, I don’t know. Are we planning on staying another night here or are we going to wash up and hit the road?” you asked, and Daehyun ran his hands through his hair and it was interesting to watch him bathe because he kept making faces when he scratched in just the right spot. Daehyun would always remind you of a cat in the way he did things.

                “I was thinking we stay here until dinner or lunch, whichever, and then we pack up and head out. There’s no reason to stay in one place for too long or else we might get too comfortable.” Daehyun said. “And I don’t mind traveling at night as long as you’re with me. I think I could take on the world with you by my side.” he said, winking at you. You mocked a swoon and he laughed, took a breath, and went under the water again. His hair waved around under it and it was always infinitely more beautiful when it was clean and fluffy.

                “I think I could too with you by me as well. We make a really great couple.” you said to him, and he hummed as he squirted out a little too much conditioner and made a face. He shrugged though and lathered it around in his hair, and he breathed in deeply, taking in the peach scent he loved so much. His nose twitched a little and he ran his hands through his hair one last time, getting all the loose strands out. He placed his hands in the water and watched them float off of him, and you stood up as to not get them on you yourself, but you also took it as a good opportunity to start washing your body. It also gave Daehyun more room to wash his hair.

                You faced away from him but still felt bad because when he brought his head up, it’s either get a face full of or crotch. It wasn’t like he hadn’t (relatively) had before with you, seeing as some of his favorite ways of messing around with you was oral and other activities, but this wasn’t anything that was supposed to be y; this was just bathing. You were putting too many dirty thoughts into something that was supposed to make you clean. Daehyun didn’t seem to care though as he came up for air. He actually just was looking at the wall when he brought his head above water again, probably trying to give you some privacy.

                Though, he stood up after he was done washing his hair and he was quick to grab the body wash and washcloth.

                “Do you want me to wash your back?” he asked, and you looked over your shoulder and nodded with a smile. He smiled backed as he dealt out a reasonable amount and rubbed it around until there were suds. He was gentle when he placed the cloth on your back and was sure the get the entire expanse of it, and much you’re your surprise, he carried on, going down your legs and tickling the bottoms of your feet for a moment when he washed them. “Turn around.” he told you when your back was done, and you did, but slowly.

                Nothing made you feel more exposed to him then, well, being uncovered, everything laid bare. He was too, but he didn’t seem scared or nervous like he was previously. Probably because you had flat out told him you didn’t want anything funny happening, but you still felt your heart beat faster as he ran the washcloth over your body, down between the space between your s and he didn’t eve bat and eyelash when he washed lower and lower.

                “Should I wash you too?’ you asked as Daehyun got done with cleaning you up. He seemed indifferent as he told you to get into the water and wash off the soap. You felt bed when he started washing himself quickly, but you put out a hand and grabbed his wrist. “I want to wash you.”

                “Well, look at you making decisions again.” Daehyun said. His voice shook as he handed you the washcloth. “Just don’t look at me too hard.”

                You didn’t get what he meant, but as he turned around and you washed his back, you saw. There were small scars from acne everywhere, and there was still some even on his back in clusters, and as you washed over them, Daehyun’s face went red from embarrassment. There were other marks down his back that looked like scratches, and he didn’t seem comfortable either when you ran over them, and he flinched sometimes, and you wondered if maybe something like small shards of glass or splinters has encased themselves under the skin and into his back.

                “Do you need me to be gentler?” you asked him when you ran over a sore spot you assumed because he made a noise of pain when you did.

                “I’m- Just- yeah. Please. Sorry. This is why I asked you not to look too hard because my skin is absolutely atrocious.” he laughed, and you flicked the back of his neck.

                “Didn’t I say your scars were beautiful? And they are. They give you character, and even though the only scars I want you to have are ones from my nails scraping down your back when we , the rest are okay.” you said, and Daehyun glanced over his shoulder.

                “Did you really just say that? That, was y.” he said, and you blushed, hard. It kind of just slipped past your mouth, but he shook his head and chuckled a little before turning around again, letting you finish his back, and when he turned to let you wash his front, you were more careful.

                His chest had some marks, and there was one right on his heart that looked pretty deep. For all the times you and he had been without clothes in front of one another, you never noticed these things. Probably because you always did it in the dark because Daehyun would beg to turn the lights off.

                “Especially don’t look at that one.” Daehyun told you when he caught you eyeing it. “There’s a story behind every scar, and that one was damn near The End.” Daehyun told you, and you looked up at him, wanting to ask a million questions, so you started with the most important.

                “Did you try and kill yourself?” you asked him, and Daehyun sighed out and motioned for you to keep washing him.

                “Something like that. It was more of, well, when people offer you strange drugs before telling you they’re going to… you, you take it. Anything to numb the pain, but whatever this drug was, I didn’t take it well. The person told me when I woke up that I should be glad they took me into emergency care or else I would have died. He lied though. Bottom line, the answer is yes. Did I try to kill myself consciously? No. When they tried to finally-” Daehyun swallowed. His voice was a little lower now. “When they finally tried to put it into me, something in me snapped the second I felt whatever at my entrance, and I flung myself back they said, almost like one of those demons you see in those exorcism clips.”

                You stopped him for a second while you told him to get into the water and rinse himself off while you got out of the tub. You grabbed your towel and dried yourself off and began to get dressed while Daehyun pulled the plug and let the water drain.

                “Anyways, they told me my eyes were wild and wider than ever, like my pupils had just taken up my entire eye and I was screaming. I screamed and I ran around the house until I found a knife and it was… hard hearing what I was screaming about.” Daehyun breathed out. You were putting your shirt on as he pulled his boxers up. “They told me that I took that knife and was nearly skinning myself, trying to get out, what they said, I was saying I needed to get out all the impurities that others had implanted in me.” Daehyun said. “I was trying to take off my own skin because I didn’t feel like it was clean. Like the most people touched me the less I was worth.”

                “But you know that’s not true, right?” you asked him, standing in front of the mirror and combing your hair.

                “I know that now, but when you’re on some trip, your innermost thoughts take hold and it just…. hurts.” he sighed. “I took the knife and just carved deeper and deeper into my skin where my heart was because I was saying if I was that impure I couldn’t give my heart to anyone.”

                He was dressed now fully as were you, and you both looked at each other and your eyes caught, locked, and you couldn’t tell him anything he didn’t already know. You two stared into each other’s eyes and that drowning feeling swept over you again like it had many times before when you just were keeping eye contact. He swallowed, and you wanted to kiss him. You wanted to hold him against you and tell him until the end of time that his heart was all yours and no matter how many people touched him before, it only mattered that you could touch him now.

                “Should we go and clean up the kitchen and take out the trash before Sunhwa comes home?” you asked to break the silence, and Daehyun forced a laugh.

                “I- I guess you’re right.” he said. “We should pack up as well so we can hit the road once she makes us some lunch because I talked to her this morning and she said she was going to go to the grocery store. I think she’s making us pesto chicken or something fancy sounding like that.” Daehyun told you, and his face lit up. He seemed to be back to relative normality again, but something still scared you. Hearing that story about him on the drugs made you wonder if there was something in him that could pull that out without it being coxed. Would he ever hurt you?

                “Hello?” he waved his hand in front of you face, and you came to, looking at him and meekly smiling. “Is everything okay?

                “Yeah!” you lied, and Daehyun smiled, and it hurt you to lie to him. You felt your heart crack whenever you did, and part of your soul turned blacker, but he was already completely shattered and talking to him was like walking on broken glass. You tried to keep your words lights and conversation light as well because there were some times when you spoke to him and it looked like you were ripping him in half.

                Daehyun needed to be whole as far as you were concerned, and he was getting there slowly. You were helping him, and to set him back would make you feel miserable. Daehyun was someone who looked up to you for guidance, and to be his light, you sometimes had to blind him so he could look away from the truth. Part of love was lying, right?

                Daehyun walked out from the bathroom and went to go clean to kitchen, leaving you to pack up your things back into your bags, which were lighter now, and bring them out into the main area and by the door so you could leave after lunch. You didn’t want to go, because now you knew Sunhwa was nice, and her cooking was good too. Better than you could ever do, but Daehyun wanted to keep moving, and he was right; staying there would mean getting attached.

                The first time you had met Daehyun, you sat in your work after you had got off the bus and told yourself to not get attached, but Daehyun was with you now, and even though you had slipped up, one thing that wasn’t a lie in love was that love makes no mistakes. Daehyun was far from one, and as you crammed the last of your things into your own bag, you thought about Daehyun and asked yourself: Is this trip going to bring you closer together, or rip you apart?

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A/N: I have also made a wrting tumblr where I post the music I listen to and various prompts/pictures that inspire me, as well as recently chapters and updates (both anime and kpop) in case you want to share! Please follow at brainboxes if you want to and thank you!