(7089 words)

~A few weeks after winter break

 

Amy was tired of it. I’m sure she was. She was often distant when I talked to her and while I tried to stop bringing up my colossal mistake of an almost first kiss, I had a hard time not beating myself up over it. She never snapped at me, or told me to stop talking, however, her eyes portrayed a lack of interest.

“I haven’t talked to him yet. I haven’t even seen him, except at a distance.”

“Mhmm,” Amy mumbled.

“It just came out of nowhere. And I’ve never kissed anyone before.”

“He was probably only going to peck you on the cheek,” Amy replied.

“Huh?”

“I don’t know.”

“Oh, I guess so. I guess I’ll never know for sure.”

“Right,” she agreed.

“Are you okay?” I asked. This was not my normal peppy friend.

“Yeah. I’m good.”

Just then, I spotted Chanyeol and Suho down the hallway. I waved eagerly at them. Suho waved back, just as enthusiastically. Chanyeol grabbed Suho’s arm and tugged him around a corner to a hallway out of my sight.

“Well, that was weird,” I mumbled.

“Huh?” Amy had missed the whole thing.

“Chanyeol and Suho. It’s like they were avoiding us,” I stated.

“Oh, yeah…” she paused, “Chanyeol and I kinda aren’t talking right now. They probably won’t sit with us at lunch later.”

“Why?”

“He’s just being a stupid boy!” she snapped.

“Okay! Okay!” I put my palms out in self-defense. “I hope he stops being stupid soon,” I offered.

“Whatever. As if that would change anything,” she mumbled.

I had to stifle a giggle. There was a sincere lack of force behind those words. All Chanyeol would have to do is wink at her and she’d forget whatever his current offense was. I wondered if it would take until the end of the week or even just the end of the day for them to make up.

“Try to pay attention in class, okay?” I tried to lace my words with concern and empathy as we walked up to the door of her class. She nodded and I left for my own class.

When the dismissal bell for lunch rang, a couple hours later, I walked along the corridor that ran parallel to the only open parking lot near campus. I didn’t drive, or have a car yet. However, several third and fourth years did.

And apparently 1 second-year student. I don’t know why I always forgot that he was my same age. He was old enough to get his license. I stared as he threw a few textbooks into the trunk of the small red car. This meant he was no longer using his locker. No wonder I’d felt like I’d seen him less in the hallways. This must have been a new development over winter break. I hadn’t moved since recognizing Baekhyun at his car.

He closed it up and locked it and began to walk back towards the classrooms. His eyes were focused on nothing in particular until they raised and locked with mine. I yelled at myself to smile and nod. I had to be friendly, if anything. I wasn’t quite prepared for the answering smile and the quick jog he made to join me in the hallway.

“Hey!” he shouted.

“Hi,” I replied. “You have a car?”

“Oh yeah. It’s kinda crappy and small, but it works,” he laughed. I smiled in response.

“Where are you eating lunch?” he asked.

“Oh, probably in the normal spot in the courtyard. It’s just Amy and I today.”

“Sehun and Kai are busy today. Mind if I join you?”

“Never,” I replied. I mentally kicked myself for the unnecessarily eager response. I turned and walked down the hallway with Baekhyun at my side. When I spotted Amy, I approached gingerly. If her mood was still the same, things could get awkward.

“Oh, hey Baekhyun,” she greeted when we approached her.

“Hey!” He always shouts.

I sat down on the lawn and dug out the few items I’d brought with me to eat. Amy idly picked at her food. Baekhyun, however, looked like he was frantically searching for something.

“The last time I brought one of these, it exploded in my backpack,” he muttered. I wasn’t sure if he was looking for a response, so I just silently watched him.

“Ah ha!” he exclaimed, pulling a tube of yogurt from his bag. “You wanna see something cool?” he asked, excited.

“Sure,” I replied.

He cut the tip of the tube off and in one gulp, emptied its entire contents.

“That’s just weird,” Amy stated.

“Oh my God!” I suddenly burst into a fit of giggles. It was really kind of an awkward thing to watch. More so than that, it was something far too odd for someone to be proud of.

“What?! Have you ever seen someone do that before?” he asked, on the defense.

“No. Can you not show us, ever again?” Amy asked.

I was still laughing. Amy shot me a look that clearly stated ‘you’re only laughing because you like the idiot’. She might have been slightly correct. I tried to reign in my laughter as I sent an apologetic smile towards Amy.

“Next time, I’ll bring a few and see how well I do!” I wasn’t sure if he was joking or serious.

“Ew, don’t,” Amy requested.

“You’d watch me again, right?” he asked while looking at me with that obnoxiously huge grin plastered on his face.

I blushed and then nodded. I’d watch him eat mud if it made him that happy. Then I shivered; I didn’t really want to ever watch him eat mud.

“Boys are stupid,” I heard Amy mutter under her breath.

 

---

 

~ The last week of my 3^rd year

 

It was as if the almost kiss had never happened, at least where Baekhyun was concerned. He continued to see me in the hallways, running up to me and throwing his arm around my shoulders. I often had to fix my hair because of tendency to ruffle it after we were done talking. He joined Amy and I for lunch every Thursday when everyone else was involved in clubs. Things were settling into a pattern of normalcy and he was almost adopted into our group if it hadn’t been for his own friends who had never really clicked with us.

“Hey! Pedestrian!” I stopped walking immediately and turned around. School had been dismissed for the day and I was walking towards the entrance to leave the school. Baekhyun had developed the nickname for me after his ego got the better of him. He was proud that while a grade younger, he’d managed to get a car and his license before me. He would usually leave in his car and drive past and wave, yelling the nickname as he drove away.

“What?!” I yelled back. This time he wasn’t in his car; he was running towards me.

“Wait up! Can I walk with you?” he asked.

“Where’s your car?”

“My dad had to take it in for some work. I’m on foot today!” he said while his eyes matched his smile.

“If you’re on foot, you have no right to call me pedestrian today,” I joked, faking annoyance.

“I still have a car, and you still don’t. You’re still the pedestrian.”

“Whatever, Baekhyun. You’re crazy.”

“And you love it!” he stated while matching my footsteps as we exited the campus.

I had to tell myself to keep walking. Did he know? Did he know just how much that last statement was true? I averted my eyes to the sidewalk neither confirming nor denying his last statement. We continued walking in silence for another block.

“Where do you live?” he asked.

“Farther than you.” I pointed to a spot on the horizon that was vaguely in the same direction of my house. “Down a few blocks from the shopping center. Over there.”

“How long does it take you to get home?”

“About 45 minutes, if I walk somewhat quickly.”

“Oh.”

He lived only a few more blocks from the school. We’d get to the street his house was on quickly. Why he even drove to school was a mystery to me.

Another block of silence.

I looked over to him as we walked. He still wore that grin. He was always smiling. His eyes were sweeping around, taking in the scenery. I wished I could look as outwardly happy as he did. I laughed and smiled sometimes, but I didn’t think I looked quite as radiant as he did. I wanted to absorb some of his energy and confidence and get rid of my own feelings of always wanting to hide and stay silent.

“This is your street, right?” I asked as we came up to a street corner that I would have to cross while he would turn.

“Mmm, yeah, but I’ll keep walking with you,” he replied.

“Baekhyun, it’s easily three times farther to my house. Plus, you’d still have to turn around and come back.” I had stopped walking and was staring at him.

“I don’t care.”

I raised an eyebrow and stared at him in disbelief. If he honestly wanted to keep walking with me, I couldn’t really say ‘no’. Could I? I took in a deep breath and nodded before crossing the street with Baekhyun in tow.

Another block of silence.

Say something. Ask him something. Anything. This silence is so weird.

“Will you be doing anything fun over the summer?” I asked.

“Not sure. I might be at summer school,” he muttered, embarrassed. “I can’t afford to fall behind and I didn’t do that terrific in Algebra. I passed, but barely and my parents think it’ll be good if I take it again this summer so I don’t fall behind next year.”

“Oh. I’m taking a watercolor class, so I’ll be around this summer.”

“You’re taking summer school for an art class?” Usually, the summer classes were there to serve as a way to make up a bad grade. I couldn’t fit watercolor into my electives during the regular school year and wanted to take it.

“I just wanted to take it,” I muttered.

We fell into silence again.

We turned down the last stretch of road that led to where my house was. It would be about two blocks until we reached my house. I couldn’t believe that he was still walking with me. As we walked my left hand bumped into his right. I tried to hold my arm closer to my side to prevent it from happening again.

But, it happened again. Minutes later, when I wasn’t thinking about keeping my arm close, it swung and our hands made contact again. Sparks ran up my arm.

“Sorry,” I muttered. I took a step to my right to put a little more distance between us.

As soon as I did, I felt contact again. My eyes shot to my hand as I watched his fingers thread with mine, pulling me back a step. I looked up at his face. He wasn’t looking at me, but straight ahead. However, his hand gripped mine and he wasn’t going to let go.

My heart skipped and felt painfully tight. A river of unanswered questions filled my mind. Unable to force myself to ask any of them, I returned my gaze to the path in front of me and let my hand stay captured in his.

When we were barely two houses away from mine, I finally broke the silence.

“That’s my house,” I pointed with my unoccupied hand.

“Is this the same house you’ve been in since you moved?”

“Yes.”

His hand let go of mine. The sparks and the fluttering sensations seemed to spill from my fingertips after he let go. I felt unsure and oddly empty.

“Can you remember how to backtrack to your house?” I asked.

“Yep! I’ve got it covered!”

“Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow?” I asked.

“Yep! See you at school!” Baekhyun turned and walked back down the street.

I didn’t see him the rest of that week. I never saw him during summer school.

I did, however, take the quartz bear out of my jewelry box and place it on the top of my dresser. I didn’t want it to be hidden or tucked away.

 

---

 

~First Day of My Final Year in High School

 

Truth be told, I had been both nervous and confident upon arrival at school today. I was confident because it was my fourth year here and the campus was like a second home. I was nervous due to the always unpredictable set up of new teachers and the amount of familiar people in each class. This year, Amy had a car and I had ditched my locker in favor for stashing everything I needed with her. It was for the best anyway. There were not enough lockers to accommodate the amount of incoming first years so the Senior and Junior classes had been asked to voluntarily give up lockers if they could find other alternatives.

The morning had gone on quite smoothly. I found myself in front of my fourth period science class when a Chanyeol-wrapped Amy came waddling up to the door. Suho was in tow as well.

“Aren’t they obnoxious?” Suho asked me.

“No, they’re cute. They make me jealous,” I replied.

“I’ve felt my breakfast coming back up for the past 4 minutes,” Suho grumbled.

“Dude! You don’t even have this class! You didn’t have to walk behind us all this way,” Chanyeol retorted.

“You don’t have this class either! I’m sure Amy can walk here on her own without all of your weight being dragged along with her!” Suho shot back.

“I’m protecting her,” Chanyeol stated.

“From what?” Suho asked.

“Everything. The cold, students who would threaten to bump into her, other guys. You name it, I’ve got her covered!”

“Literally…” I choked out after trying to hold in my laughter.

“First of all, it’s the end of summer and it’s not cold…” Suho started.

“Good morning!” a voice interrupted.

I whipped my gaze from Suho to see Baekhyun bouncing down the hallway. I hadn’t seen him in months. His hair was a lighter brown than the previous two years, however his smile was the same and prevented me from coming up with a coherent reply.

Amy, sensing my panic replied to his morning greeting before it could get awkward.

“Are you in this class?” Baekhyun asked me, pointing to the door that I had been ready to enter just moments earlier.

“Mhmm,” I replied.

“Great!” he shouted.

“Okay, we need to get to our classes. Come on, Chanyeol.” Suho grabbed him by his backpack to pry him off of Amy.

“Lunch, same place, right?” Chanyeol asked.

“Of course,” Amy replied quickly kissing Chanyeol’s cheek before Suho was able to pull him too far away.

Baekhyun grabbed my wrist and yanked me into the classroom.

“Amy!” I gulped, trying to make sure she followed me inside. She gave me a smirk and followed a couple steps behind.

“Here! Sit here!” The room had been laid out with somewhat longer tables that sat two students each and were in three rows. I sat down in the chair that Baekhyun had claimed for me. Amy sat in the chair next to me while Baekhyun took the seat directly in front of me.  There was only one more minute till class began and Baekhyun had already whipped around several times in his seat to tell me something. The boy was going to give himself whiplash by the end of the semester.

Ten minutes into class, I felt Amy nudge me. I looked towards her as she slid her binder closer to me. She had written a note on the back corner of a piece of paper.

He must like you. He grabbed your wrist and sat in front of us.

I quickly scribbled out her note. If Baekhyun turned around, I’d be dead.

“You have to work with a partner, you have 15 minutes to complete the task,” the instructor announced.

Baekhyun whipped around, scaring me. “Be my partner!”

I looked at Amy, and then pointed at her to indicate that I was going to work with her.

Baekhyun turned around and raised his hand.

“Yes, Baekhyun?” the teacher asked.

“Can we work in groups of three?”

“That’s fine.”

He whipped around again with a huge grin. I caught Amy roll her eyes. I had to suppress a giggle.

The boy sitting in the seat next to Baekhyun had to ask the two students in front of him if he could join them. I felt somewhat bad for the student, but Baekhyun was going to do exactly what he wanted.

 

---

 

~ March

 

The four of us were eating lunch, in our normal spot and discussing nothing of any great interest. That is, until Amy brought up one subject that I’d rather have avoided.

“Chanyeol asked me to prom, officially!” Amy beamed. The boys had been in their own conversation, however upon Amy’s announcement, Chanyeol shot her a smile.

“Of course. If either of you went with anyone else, you’d be dead,” I replied.

Amy dropped her voice down a bit in volume, “Are you going?”

“With who?” I asked. No one had asked and no one was going to. I knew just where I stood amongst most of my peers. I didn’t know if my introverted personality or my lack of an appealing figure was to blame. Amy had spent the last year and a half with Chanyeol, basically. Even if they’d fought, it had only taken a week or so to get over it. To the best of my knowledge, neither of them had dated anyone else. I however, had been on zero dates and been asked out zero times.

“Baekhyun?” she whispered.

“Ha! He’s still a junior. It’s not his prom. He won’t ask me.”

“You could ask him,” she suggested.

I stayed quiet, as if actually contemplating it. I would never. I couldn’t. I dropped my gaze to the grass in front of me.

“You should,” she continued. “He’s spent the year, so far, being attached to your side whenever we’re in class. You’ve told me about everything else he’s done.”

“If he and his outgoing personality can’t ask me out, then there is no way that I can.”

“That’s a dumb excuse.”

“I just can’t.”

Amy frowned at me. I just shrugged and tried to think of a new topic. Prom was still about a month and a half away. There was still time. I only wanted to go to prom because I was always told I’d regret it if I didn’t. Otherwise, I could have done without the event.

We had indeed spent the period before lunch in our science class with Baekhyun. It had been a new science course that they had added that year. It merged geology and astronomy into one course for the whole year. I hadn’t admitted to anyone, but rather than taking a more advanced Chemistry course, I had been drawn to the astronomy portion of the course. It had been with only one reason; the worn ‘Reach for the Stars’ that was on the small pocket of my backpack.

 

---

 

~ 3 weeks before Prom

 

“You’re going to come with me this afternoon. I’m not doing this alone!” Amy pouted.

“Okay, okay!” I had relented to the dress shopping that Amy was going to do that afternoon. It was Friday, the end of the week, and with Prom approaching Amy was anxious to find her dress. Plus, she needed to find something so that she could make sure Chanyeol coordinated with her.

“Great! Just meet me after classes end and I’ll take us to my house first and then we can go shopping!” she replied with excitement.

I nodded, trying to give a facial expression that faked my enthusiasm. Lunch break was almost over and she had already asked earlier in the morning, but I’d been reluctant.

“Ten minutes! Do you need to get anything from your car, babe?” Chanyeol asked Amy.

“Nope, all set.”

“Let’s go then!” Chanyeol got up and helped Amy to her feet. They actually had the next class together so it made sense for Chanyeol to hover over her on the way to their next class.

I stood up and swiped my hands over my jeans to make sure no blades of grass were stuck to me. I hauled my backpack up onto my shoulders and pulled my hair up, which had been caught in the process. I looked up to find Suho standing in front of me, just staring.

“That looks heavy,” Suho observed looking towards my backpack.

“Always,” I laughed. I was used to the weight in general. I flung my hair behind my shoulder and smiled at him.

“Can I walk with you?”

“Sure.”

We set off in an opposite direction than Amy and Chanyeol had. Suho’s class was at the far end of campus, and mine was about halfway in between. I heard Suho clear his throat a couple of times as we walked. I wished I had water or something to offer him.

“Um…” he coughed again. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah,” I prompted.

“Would you go to prom with me?”

I stopped walking. I hadn’t expected Suho, or anyone for that matter, to actually ask me. He looked nervous. To say I was shocked was an understatement.

“Really?” I asked. I swore I was imagining things.

“Yes.” He looked like he wanted to say more, so I waited. “I mean, as friends, you know? Amy and Chanyeol are going, obviously. I just figured that we should too.”

“Sure,” I replied. “I mean that’s great! I wanted to go!” I smiled at him, actually thrilled that I didn’t have to worry anymore about whether or not I was ever going to go to my prom.

“Good!” his answering smile was filled with warmth. I could have hugged him; except I’d never done so in the past and I didn’t honestly think that I should.

We both continued towards our classes, no further words spoken between us. He waved and smiled after we’d reached my classroom. I nodded and took my seat inside.

Ten minutes into the class, my cellphone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out to see a text waiting from Amy.

Now we’re shopping for two dresses!

How the hell did you know that quickly?

I have my ways *wink*

I rolled my eyes and tucked my phone back into my pocket. It was going to be an interesting afternoon.

 

---

 

~ The following Monday

 

“How was everyone’s weekend? Good right?” Our instructor was being her normal bubbly self that morning. We were in our fourth period science class. Amy and I had spent Friday and Saturday shopping for dresses. She’d finally settled on a deep purple gown that looked quite good on her. She had told Chanyeol what he should look for to match but refused to show him her dress. I had picked a soft baby blue dress and had done the same with Suho. The boys were supposed to go next weekend and pick out their suits. Amy had argued that she should go with to make sure, but Suho promised that they wouldn’t embarrass us.

“Prom is coming up for our seniors! Who’s going so far?” Amy and I shot our hands up, both smiling.

That is, until I saw Baekhyun’s hand rise as well.

I gulped.

Who asked him?

Amy noticed Baekhyun’s hand and turned to look at me. She could see the shock written all over my face. She mouthed ‘it’s okay’ and I had to remind myself to breathe.

I watched as Baekhyun’s gaze wandered the classroom to take in just who was going. When he turned completely, he saw my hand raised and smiled.

What was that smile for?

My heart was beating so fast, but it was from sheer panic. I didn’t want to see him at MY prom with anyone else.

The entire lesson was lost on me that day. When the bell rang for lunch, I collected my things and wordlessly left the room. Amy was behind me and I cringed when I heard Baekhyun exit right after.

“This is great! We’re all going!” Baekhyun stated to Amy and I.

“You’re not a senior. Who invited you?” I asked. I inwardly cringed at the slight malice that I detected in my voice.

When he spoke the name of one of the better-known senior girls, I wanted to crumble apart and vanish. Of course, of course. She was thin, pretty, a master at doing her makeup and hair. She didn’t even have a terrible personality. Of course he would say yes.

“See you later, Baekhyun!” Amy interrupted, pulling my arm and leading me away from him.

“Okay! Bye!” I heard him shout.

“Don’t think about it. You’re going with Suho,” Amy whispered.

“And now I have to watch him dance with another girl all night,” I muttered.

“We’ll distract you! Don’t worry.”

I nodded, but I didn’t believe her.

When we reached our normal lunch spot, I sat down and pulled out the small lunch I’d brought with me. It was just a sandwich. I had enough change for something to drink, which I would get a little later. Before I realized it, the boys had joined us.

I was too wrapped up in my state of misery to even take note or be fazed by anything else today. Suho had sat down right next to me, instead of his usual space next to Chanyeol. Not only that, but he had actually leaned against me slightly touching our shoulders together.

“Aren’t you hungry?” Suho asked, looking at my sandwich that I was holding but doing nothing with.

“Not really,” I replied. I could feel Amy staring at me.

“You don’t have anything to drink with it. Want me to get you something?” Suho asked.

I shrugged.

He got up and walked to the closest vending machine and came back with my favorite soft drink. When I didn’t take it from his hand, he sat it in front of me.

“Eat,” he stated. I did what I was told. I ate the sandwich and swallowed it down with the soda. Lunch stayed silent for the most part. That, or I really had tuned everyone out.

 

---

 

~Prom

 

I was at Amy’s house. We had been fussing over our appearances all day long. After some pampering and a first painful lesson on eyebrow shaping, we had begun a long process of perfecting our hair. Amy had pulled hers up into a full up-do, while I had pulled mine half up. Both of us had sections of curls and twists. It had been an intricate procedure and I was reminded as to why I never put this kind of work into my day-to-day existence. It was just too painstaking for something I’d have to unravel later that night.

Next came to the makeup, which I left entirely in Amy’s hands. I had only begun understanding things like foundation, concealer, mascara, and eye shadow. However, when Amy was done, even I was surprised.

We changed into our dresses and did last minute adjustments. Amy went running for our purses and to put a few essentials into the small ‘prom appropriate’ accessories.

I stayed in the restroom for a moment, staring at my reflection in the mirror. Sure, 7-year-old me had never worn her hair in this fashion or wore make-up. However, the same look of confidence was there bubbling to the surface. I smiled at my reflection. I suddenly felt more like myself than I had in years.

“The boys are going to be here any minute! Get your shoes on!” Amy yelled from the other room.

My nerves still flew. I pulled on the strappy shoes and grabbed my purse that Amy was holding out for me. We walked down the hallway to wait in her living room. I passed a floor length mirror in the hall and slowed down enough to catch a glimpse of that little girl again. I suddenly didn’t care if Baekhyun was going with someone else. I was going to enjoy tonight and dare myself to be unaffected by the silliness going on in my heart.

After a few additional minutes and a couple of impatient foot taps from Amy, the doorbell rang. Amy’s mom opened the door and there they were. Chanyeol looked stunning and I had to restrain myself from saying something embarrassing about how he might look like a completely different person. Suho saved me from that by approaching me.

His eyes stayed on my face. I don’t know why I expected him to take a sweeping glance like Chanyeol was doing to Amy, but it was somewhat unnerving for him to hold the constant gaze. “You look so…” he stumbled.

I gulped. Pretty? Beautiful? Happy? I wasn’t sure what he was reaching for. My insecurities flared. I didn’t want him to reach so hard for a lie so instead I just nodded and whispered, “thanks.”

He returned the smile. Both of them pulled out wrist corsages for us. Mine was a white rose, which complimented perfectly with the light blue gown. Amy’s was a crimson rose, which also went well with her dress. Suho had been right; they were anything but embarrassing this evening. In fact, I felt a little undeserving.

A while later, we found ourselves walking up to the venue. There was loud bass filtering past the walls enveloping everyone who came within 15 feet of the front door. Amy had her arms linked with Chanyeol as I did the same with Suho. Once inside, we posed for our couple photos and then a group photo of the four of us. Chanyeol picked a table where we could set down our things. I was so nervous, of what, I didn’t know exactly. I sat quickly and decided that I was much more comfortable looking around the room than mingling.

Suho sat next to me and quickly dove into a normal string of meaningless topics. I listened, replied, and kept up my side of the conversation. Chanyeol couldn’t help himself and pulled Amy to the dance floor in what was a surprisingly decent display despite his normal derpy-ness. Amy looked mortified, but even she couldn’t help but laugh while staying by his side.

My eyes never stopped sweeping the room.

“Do you want to dance?” Suho asked, thankfully during a faster song.

“I, um… yeah,” I stuttered. I didn’t really want to dance, but I knew I’d be expected to at some point and I felt a little less pressured with it being Suho. He smiled and stood, extending his hand to help me out of my chair. I held it and let him lead me to the dance floor, right along side of Amy and Chanyeol. After watching Chanyeol bust out a few more moves, I didn’t feel embarrassed any longer. In fact, I honestly began to enjoy myself.

The dance floor became more and more crowded as the rest of the senior class had assembled. Suho and I got separated from Amy and Chanyeol in favor of moving to the outer side of the dance floor. One more song went by before a slow song began to play. My stomach did a flip-flop. I looked at Suho who wore an encouraging smile. I flushed a bit, but allowed him to guide one of my hands to his shoulder as he settled a hand against my waist.  I flushed a bit out of nervousness, but let his reassuring smile keep me from leaving the dance floor. He led the dance as we moved along to the music. I made eye contact with Amy from across the floor. She winked and I blushed harder than I already was.

I was thankful when the song ended. It hadn’t been a bad experience, but my nerves couldn’t handle it. The music blared to life again and more couples crowded the dance floor.

“Do you want something to drink?” Suho asked, bending closer to me and trying to yell over the music.

“Sure,” I responded. Suho turned to walk to the refreshment table while I turned to look for our table. I saw that Amy and Chanyeol had already gone to sit down, taking a break. I took a step in their direction when a finger tapped my shoulder.

I whipped around.

Baekhyun just stood there, grinning like the happy crazy idiot that he was. His hair was swept up and out of his face; strands were going in every which direction creating quite the tousled sculpture. His face looked pale and perfect. His eyes were outlined in eyeliner the effect causing my heart to race. If I had ever thought he was beautiful in his own way, then I hadn’t really been looking because he was absolutely perfect. He stood taller than I was used to. I looked at his feet and wondered if they had been designed to give him a bit more height. I smiled at the thought and returned my gaze to his face.

“Nice dress,” he commented.

“Thanks. You look terrific,” I replied.

“Wanna dance?” he asked.

Taken by surprise, I looked around. First, I looked for the girl he was supposed to be with. She was standing in her normal posse of friends. Then I looked for Suho. He was still waiting in line for drinks.

“I was just going to sit down, actually.”

“Oh, where?” he asked.

I pointed at the table where Chanyeol and Amy were seated in favor of shouting the location over the music.

“Okay,” he mouthed before walking in their direction. I followed two steps behind him.

“Hello all!” Baekhyun shouted while taking a seat at the table. I sat down where my purse was laying and began idly playing with the strap.

“Hey Baekyun,” Amy answered, to be polite. “Where’s your date?”

“Over there,” he said dismissively, pointing off into a direction. I knew from spotting her earlier that he wasn’t pointing in the right spot.

“So then what are you doing here?”

I looked up to see Suho standing next to me holding two cups of punch. He was actually somewhat glaring at Baekhyun.

Baekhyun, didn’t notice. “She wanted to say ‘hi’ to her friends. I’ll find her in a few. Besides, you guys are my closest senior friends anyway.” Baekhyun threw his arm around my shoulder. I cringed.

Suho pulled out the chair to my other side and sat down, passing me the cup. I took a tentative sip from it. Silence filled the table for moments following. Amy and Chanyeol were passing glances at everyone at the table. Suho looked like he wanted to drill holes in Baekhyun’s head with his eyes. I was staring at the tablecloth for the most part, except when I peeked at my friends. Baekhyun was staring off into the crowd while slightly bobbing his head to the music.

He whipped is gaze back to me. “How about that dance?” he asked as the song changed.

“No thank you, Baekkie.”

Oh my God. I just used the nickname I haven’t called him since I was nine. I looked at him and he looked almost as taken back as I had in saying it. The biggest smile, which I didn’t know was even possible, lit up his face.

“Come on,” he urged. He stood from the chair and took my wrist slightly bumping around the corsage.

“I … I really…” I stuttered, not sure how I was getting out of it. I looked helplessly at Amy. Then I looked at Suho. “I’ll be back,” I promised just as Baekhyun was dragging me from my chair.

Baekhyun dragged me towards the middle of the dance floor. Fellow students were dancing together in such close proximity that it felt suffocating. He turned towards me, smile still radiant, as he started to move to the music. It took seconds before I shooed away the trepidation and began to follow suit. My unease melted away. I smiled back at him. The music filled my senses and I paid no attention to the amount of bodies around me. It could have just been Baekhyun and I. As I looked into his eyes, I was that girl again. I was confident. I was staring at the only person who had mattered deep down when my days had been horrible or when I needed reassurance. We could have been in the middle of a field back ‘home’, running and laughing and enjoying every facet of each other’s personalities. He had grown from that kid who had been shy at first and always unsure of how to treat me in front of his friends. Now, he was lighthearted, confident and enthusiastic.

The song ended and the next song picked right up. 

“Baekhyun!” I barely heard the voice over the music. I heard it well enough though to look just behind Baekhyun to the girl standing behind him.

“Hey!” he shouted, smiling at her. My heart squeezed a bit.

“I couldn’t find you,” she stated, sparing a glance towards me. She looked me up and down and furrowed her brow. My confidence was crumbling.

“I said ‘hi’ to some friends and came out here to dance. You found me now!” he laughed. He grabbed her wrist, pulling her just a bit closer although they didn’t actually make contact. My eyes started to sting, just a little.

“I’m not sharing you with anyone else for the rest of the night,” she replied in a snarky tone.

“Course not! You’re my date!” Baekhyun replied. I might have died. I suddenly felt cold and unresponsive.

Without a glance in my direction, Baekhyun was dragged away from me. I was standing, awkwardly alone on the dance floor. I turned towards the direction of the table and tried to find a way out of the maze of bodies. My heart was in my throat. I desperately blinked to keep the tears at bay. When I finally reached the outer circle of the dance floor, I tried to take a deep breath.

I walked towards the table and sat down, not saying a word as I tried to collect myself.

“Where’d Baekhyun go?” Amy asked.

“With his date,” I replied.

“Ah,” Amy sighed.

Suho grabbed my hand and leaned close to my ear. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m good. It was really crowded in there. And it’s stuffy in here,” I mumbled.

“Do you want to go outside?” he asked.

“No, no. I’m good. Really! Sitting at the table is better for now.”

Amy and Chanyeol returned to the dance floor as Chanyeol was getting a bit stir crazy. I smiled at them as they left.

I was glad that Suho was sitting with me. Part of me wanted to be alone, but the other part was glad that there was just the soothing presence of someone else near me.

Suho and I returned to the dance floor a few songs later. Thankfully, we didn’t dance to any more slow songs. He did continue to give my hand a reoccurring squeeze if we came within close proximity to Baekhyun. But, that only happened a handful of times during the remainder of the night.

When the last slow song of the night played, Suho and I sat at the table watching our best friends enjoy the last song. We would all be heading home together, soon.

“Hey! There’s supposed to be a party tonight, right after prom. Are we going?” Chanyeol asked.

Amy shrugged, not really caring either way. Suho said he’d go.

I however, had enough.

“You want to go home?” Suho asked after I’d failed to respond. I nodded.

“I’m going to take her home,” Suho stated.

“Okay, we’ll get a ride with someone else and then you can meet up with us there,” Chanyeol stated.

Suho nodded. He put his hand on the small of my back to guide me over to where the car had been parked. He opened the door and then closed it once I was tucked inside. He drove me to my house, parking along the street.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

“Yeah, just tired. I don’t usually go to these types of events. It kind of took a lot out of me.”

Suho nodded. He grabbed his door handle, before I stopped him.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to open my door. Thank you. I had a good time with you.”

“Good,” he replied, a subtle smile gracing his lips.

“Good night,” I stated.

“Good night.”

Inside of my house, I walked straight to my room and closed the door. I grabbed the quartz bear and angrily tossed it to the side. It hit one of the metal legs on the desk in my room with a strange sound. I picked it up and found that its bottom left leg had cracked. I touched it, mortified as the little leg fell off. I stared at the separated piece in my hand and started to cry.

Why am I so stupid?

With blurred vision, I grabbed my jewelry box from the closet and placed the small bear into the drawer where it had previously lived. I tucked the jewelry box away and sat down on my bed. I my stereo and raised the volume. I moved back to the closet and stared at myself. I was not the girl I saw back at Amy’s house before prom. My hair was frizzy from the humidity in the venue. Some of my makeup had rubbed off. After crying, the mascara and eyeliner had run. My corsage had been bumped one too many times. The white rose scarred with creases and brown edges. I still saw her though, the young version of me. She was just sad. She’d been separated from her best friend all over again.

 

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A/N

 

I honestly don't have much to say about this... It's just over 7000 words... is probably the most emotional point in the story... well... maybe not... we'll see how the next chapter comes.

Feel lucky though! I just updated "Stranded" and felt this bubble out of me...so yay for another update on A&N :D

Thanks for subscribing, for the upvotes, and for reading!!! :D