Hello,

         it’s been a week since I’ve last seen Kuro Eriko and a week since I’ve last written. I miss you guys, it’s weird, because you guys aren’t born yet. But you know what, I know you guys exist and you all have a special reserved spot in my heart. And it’s amazing how fond I am of you, my children from the future, though I really am not sure how you guys are like. I hope you take after your mother because I don’t want you guys to inherit my nose. Your mother, I wonder where she is right now. Who is she, what is she doing. I promise to love her forever, your mother. 

Well, I saw Eriko today after what seemed like eternity. But it took me great effort to find her. I was told that she did attend school but she just hung around in a different building. I’ve caught glimpses of her bike riding off into the sunset with her hair flying about from my classroom’s window, but that’s all I saw of her. I tried my hardest not to forget how she looked like when she cried because I knew that I would never be able to see that anymore. That fragile fragment of a second that she experienced in her vulnerability, not noticing that I was there, right next to her. I’ve stayed up at night just thinking about her, about how she told our classmates to follow their dreams when they were calling her a right to her face. About how I found her in tears in the abandoned little music room. About Clair De Lune. I wondered from time to time how lonely she must have been feeling, for trying her hardest to help out the youths around her even when they hate her guts. I still cannot understand how no one else finds her amazing. 

Today, I decided to stalk her. I remember her saying that she saw the teacher in charge of detention from the other time at a club that she always went to. So I stayed in school till that particular teacher left in her saloon car. My manager was against me going to the club because I haven’t informed my boss about it. But I was so set on looking for Eriko that I couldn’t care less about what anyone thought. A certain madness people would call an obsession, I was obsessed with Eriko. It didn’t take me long to realise that. I took a taxi and asked the driver to follow the saloon car. When I was in the taxi I thought about what I was doing, what I was getting myself into. By stalking her, what am I proving to myself? I can’t be in love, it’s too soon! Thoughts like these were messing my sanity up. I had half a mind to turn back and give up on this useless obsession but like magic, I’ve already arrived at the club where I could clearly see the big black intimidating bike that belonged to the girl who I think I am in love with. Yes, I think I am in love guys. Are we looking at your perspective mother? I pay the cab driver and give him a big tip, to which he responded with a toothless smile. I am happy without reason, this is the power Kuro Eriko has on me. I see the saloon car going into the underground car park as I enter the club that seemed familiar. 

I walk through the dark hallway that smelled of drunks and temporary bliss and I realise where I am. I’ve performed in this club before, with a couple of my friends back in the day. I see a torn poster of my younger self on the wall and smile. This must be what they call fate. I tried to recall my friends who were frequents in this club as made my way through the crowd with my head down, not wanting to get recognised and invite unwanted attention. The music playing seemed too familiar.

 “My heart broke into pieces like sliced raw fish

  You don’t give a about my broken heart

  You said to cut it cleanly like fingernails

 I don’t give a about your stupid heart…”

I can recognise those ironically lovesick lyrics from anywhere. I jump on stage from the back where no one can see me and wait for him to finish his performance. I didn’t think I would be able to find Eriko on my own in this club so why not ask a friend am I right?

“Hey! It’s Woo Jiho!” he says over the microphone and the audience gasps.

I sighed and as he calls me over to join him on the front of the stage. The unwanted attention that I didn’t need was right in front of me. I got up and stood next to him as one of the staff hands me a microphone. 

“Zino hyung, long time no see.” I shook his hand and he pats my back.

“What are you doing here kiddo! Haven’t seen you in so long!”

“Looking for inspiration,” I pause for effect. “You know, for our new album and all…”

I hear some of the girls screaming as Sungbin hyung laughs with me. He gestures with his hand for me to head on back to the safety of the private area and I happily hand the microphone back to the staff. After performing a few of his songs, he joins me in the back. He greets me with a wide smile and pulls me in a huge bear hug. We haven’t seen each other for sometime and truth be told, I’ve missed being around him and my other friends that used to hang out in this club. I look around and don’t see Eriko anywhere. I sighed. Sungbin goes on about how he missed the days where we would have performances every now and then in the underground and we could rap about what ever the hell we wanted to without netizens going insane and killing our vibes. He asks about Kyung, Jihoon and Mino from time to time and asks me to send them his best regards.

“Hyung, if you miss us so much, you should just debut as an idol. We’ll get to see each other more often like that. Pretty sure YGE would love you, plus Mino’s there too.” I slap his back and he snorts.

“Nah, I’m too old and too ugly for that . Plus, I’m happy here.” he pulls out a cigarette from his box and offers me one.

I declined his offer and he smirks.

“See? I’m happier here. Don’t have to worry about how smoking will affect my voice.” he lights his cigarette and smiles. He leans back in his seat and eyes me. “What brings you here, don’t pull that inspiration bull on me.”

I sigh.

“I’m looking for someone, a girl…”

“Ah, gotta let off some steam? You know I’m not the man for that!” 

“No, no! She’s a classmate… Well… Not exactly,” I scratch my head. If she doesn’t even attend class, does that still make her my classmate? Confusing. “She’s really tall and she has these super dark eyes and hair that reaches her elbows. Her nose is weird and she doesn’t really have small talk with anyone. She rides a big black bike and listens to hip-hop. She’s weird, really weird, and she’s ambidextrous too.”

Sungbin hyung scratches his chin with the hand that he held his cigarette with and frowns. Then he snaps his fingers and I can picture a light bulb illuminating over his head. “Blackie Eri!! You know her?!” he exclaims.

“Blackie…..” I frown.

“I mean Kuro Eriko, yeah, you know that girl?!”

“We’re in the same class….”

Sungbin smiles with his mouth wide open and stumps out his cigarette on the table in front of us. He seemed extremely shocked and I felt uncomfortable. I don’t necessarily like shocking people that much, what more with a normal “Yes, I know that person you’re talking about.” 

“I was just about to introduce her to you!” his eyes are wide open in disbelief.

“Intro…duce?” I ask.

“Yeah man, you two would really go well with each other.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, it just seems right, it seems perfect.”

Magical.

“Wait, like do you know her personally? Her background, her personal life?”

Sungbin cringes.

“Nah man, I’m no stalker. I only speak with her from time to time cuz she’s a frequent around here. Though, she’s always alone.”

“What do you guys talk about?”

“Many things, that girl is a born genius. Scary, but brilliant.”

At this point, I was just glad that someone other than myself saw that in her. I smile to myself as Sungbin reaches out to slap my thigh. I looked at him and he has a teasing smile plastered across his face. He takes his cap off and runs his hand through his hair as he sighs. He knew something about Eriko and was contemplating on whether he should tell me or not. I waited, I thought that I could go look for Eriko another time, learning about what made her who she is was far more important than just satisfying my eyes with her grace. Blackie Eri, that’s cute. I wonder who else called her that. Sungbin scratches above his left eyebrow as he clears his throat.

“I suppose you’ve seen the…”

“Scratch marks, finger nail marks, yes. I have seen them hyung.”

Sungbin nods as he puts his cap back on.

“She’s in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend, well, I don’t know if I should call him that. I’ve seen the guy but I can never see his face clearly, a tall and broad shouldered fella who always wears suits. I saw a ring on his finger, typical married and successful bastard preying on pretty little girls like Eri.”

I was too shocked that words just couldn’t come out of my mouth. So the rumours of her dating a married man were true, but she’s the victim. Of course she’s the victim. This sudden burst of need washed through out my entire body. I needed to protect her. Because strong and intimidating Kuro Eriko is also a victim of something. Isn’t she lonely? 

“I’ve tried asking her about it but she just ignores me completely. Once I asked her how can I be the only one who notices these details about her and she says that she’s usually careless around those that she trusts.” Sungbin takes out