Running across the street in the rain to my apartment building with blurry, teared up eyes, I almost got hit by a car. Holy , I almost died. Again.

Then after I got into my apartment, I rushed through the closet to find a bag. I sufficed with a backpack and stuffed some clothes in it. I headed for the bathroom after that and picked up my toothbrush, toothpaste, and other bathroom supplies I could quickly grab. Finally I went to the safe I keep hidden behind my bed post and opened it, stuffing all the money and other belongings into the bag until there was nothing left in the small space inside the wall. I really need to finish. Where am I going to go after this though? I need to get out of here. Turning my phone on to check the time, I saw it read 9:54 PM and quickly ran out of my apartment, passing by my neighbors’ closed doors.

Quickly pressing the elevator button several times, I gave up and just ran towards the staircase and skipped one, two, three steps at a time going down to the ground floor. Eventually outside on the sidewalk, I waved a cab down and got inside. “Please take me to this location please,” I asked the driver, showing him a place on my “Maps” app on my phone.

He quickly nodded and replied, “Are you sure missy? That’s pretty far out there and it’s quite dangerous for a teen like you.”

"Yes please, just hurry,” I urgently responded.

Finally after about seventy minutes of a long, silent car ride, I arrived at my destination, a small, family-owned motel. “Thank you so very much,” I sincerely said to the driver.

“No problem. And your total is 51,391 Won,” the driver answered after he put the car in park.

“Okay, here you go. Oh, and keep the change. Thank you, again.” I handed him a couple bills and then stepped out of the cab, walking towards the entrance of the motel.

Once I opened the door, I came face to face with a familiar face. Pretending I didn’t recognize the person standing in front of me, I quickly walked past them and went straight to the front desk.

“What can I help you with?” the worker at the desk asked me.

“Um, may I have a one-bed room please?” I answered her while pulling out some money.

“Yes, you may. How long are you planning to stay?” she asked again.

“I think about five days. And if I stay longer, can I just re-check in?” I replied.

“Of course you may,” she said. “Now here’s your room key. When you walk out of here, just turn right, go up the stairs, turn left, and keep going until you reach room B-17. That’ll be your room. Now, enjoy your stay!”

I took the key out of her hands, adjusted my backpack, and headed towards the direction the lady told me to go. While going up the stairs, almost all the way up, I tripped and almost fell straight on my face. But before I could catch myself, I felt hands holding my waist, keeping me up.

“Oh… thank you,” I almost whispered to the stranger who caught me.

“You’re welcome,” I heard a guy say from behind me. He didn’t sound that much older than me, but I was still kind of afraid to look back, so I just kept on going up and walked quickly, almost running, to find my room.

Hearing someone coming after me, I started to panic and as soon as I found B-17 I jabbed the key into the lock, unlocked it, ran in, slammed the door shut, and re-locked it all in record time. Then as I started to set my things down, I heard someone next door open their door and shut it as well. Hm. I guess I have a neighbor here too. Hopefully they’re not a or murderer or anything worse.

Finally putting my clothes away, I took out my toothbrush, toothpaste, and the other bathroom supplies I brought with me and headed to the restroom. I stared at myself in the mirror for what seemed like forever. “Megan, what the hell was that?” I asked myself. “Why did you do that? You should have just stayed back there… Why did you run for? Why are you such a coward?” After thinking, replaying, and re-examining that scene from earlier in the day that just kept repeating in my head, I broke down and started sobbing. Megan, be strong. You need to. You have to. This is not good for you, he wasn’t good for you. It’s okay, you did the right thing. He has no right to make you feel bad. He’s not worth all your tears. Stop crying. And after many other thoughts, I hopped in the shower and turned the water to the hot side. Standing on the side, waiting for the water to warm up, all the negative thoughts crept back into my mind.

Megan, you are a coward. You’re worthless. You have no courage. Of course he’d treat you like that. If it wasn’t for you, he’d be happy. You’re stupid to do that to him. He didn’t deserve it. If anything you deserve what you did to you. He could have changed. You just didn’t think did you? Why are you so childish, immature, and dumb? You should just go and die. Wouldn’t it be better?

Realizing that the shower was starting to steam up, I wondered how long you stood on the side. Touching the water, it burned me a little. Ouch, that’s hot.

Then turning the water down a little bit to the cold side, I finally stepped into the water and just stood there again, letting all the water just cleanse myself, cleanse me of my experience from earlier. Having enough of just standing around, afraid the thoughts might return, I got out some soap, shampoo, and conditioner and began to wash my hair and etc.

About thirty-five minutes passed and I finally got out of the shower and put a towel around myself and another wrapped around my hair. After brushing my teeth and drying my hair as well as I could, I headed to the drawers where I set my clothes in. Wondering if I packed some pajama-like clothes, I opened them and searched for a regular big shirt and plain shorts. Changing into something that felt comfortable, I went back to my bed, got under the sheets and blanket, and tried my best to force myself to fall asleep.

 

“Megan, why did you do this to me? I’m going to find you. And when I find you Megan, I’m going to take you back. I’m going to do things to you and make you regret this… but only because I love you Megan. I love you a lot. So come back to me my love. I won’t hurt you. I’ll change. I love you so much. This won’t happen again baby, I promise.”

 

I finally woke up and just stared at the ceiling. After blinking once, I felt a tear down the side of my face. Oh that’s right… I thought while I remembered what happened yesterday.

While sleeping, I kept hearing his voice. It just kept repeating things and telling me untruthful lies, things that contradicted each other. Then checking the clock that was set in this room before I settled in here, it said 6:39 AM.

“Did I get any sleep at all?” I whispered to myself as I rubbed my eyes and sat up on the edge of my bed. I stood up and went to the bathroom to wash up and then dressed myself right after. What should I do today? I need to keep myself busy so I won’t remember that…event from yesterday. I cringed as the memory came back into my mind. Okay, let’s go out and explore this new little town.

As soon as I stepped out of my room, I closed the door, locked it, and took a look around to see which way I should go. When I glanced to my left, I froze. Wait isn’t that…? I saw him yesterday and I know him from somewhere? Oh my-.

“Hi, um Megan right?” the guy said, interrupting my thoughts, while he was locking his door, which was the room right next to mine. “Uh yeah… Didn’t we go to school together for a while? I’m Hansol. Choi Hansol.”