Kim jongin 

Where are you? What are you doing ? Have you eaten yet ?

Who do you love ? 

Sometimes i wonder , if i happen to cross your mind , like you would always do to mine . Today , i am seeing you again standing shyly in front of my classroom , with your cheeks on fire , you had whispered the words to me that made my heart flutter . 

' Let's go the festival together ' 

Surprised , i contemplated you without any response . When i got to understand the meaning of the words , i nodded unable to split a word out . 

' Wait for me at the namsan tower ' 

I have waited Jongin-ah , ive waited but you've never showed up . 

you disappeared . 

The whole day , i kept on thinking about that stranger , who had in reality nothing in common with the pretty little kim jongin i used to know . Then why do i seem unable to get him out of my head? am i paranoid ? I seem to search for him in every new face i meet and it tires me because i just can't forget him . 

i can't ; 

at the end of the lessons . I headed back home alone humming to myself an old song . i noticed a silhouette from far away , and as i reached the unkown walker , i realized it was the same guy from before . I couldn't contain myself from shouting in surprise . 

He turned , our eyes met again . 

Blood rushed into my veins , and i screwed myself for being so stupid . 

' I am not following you ' i managed to say 

and damn it now it looks like i am kind of a stalker especially since ive just said it . 

' I live nearby ' i added 

He looked at me for a moment , then just ignored me and continued walking . an awkward silence followed and i think i had never stressed this way before  . 

' It is suddenly pouring huh?' 

His voice reached my ears . We were in mid-summer , there were no clouds around , the sun was hot and  i was wearing my summer's uniform , tied my hair in a high and loosy ponytail since i felt kind of sweating a lot . 

There were no rain 

He turned to me and with the same beautiful smile , he whispered ' it is been a while ' 

I looked at him puzzled . 

' Kim jongin ? ' 

' i am kai though ' 

' you changed your name? ' 

' i had circumstances . ' 

' Since you've recognized me , why didn't you tell me ' 

' It was fun watching you everyday , without you recognizing me , I am surprised i thought you'd, turn into a more feminine girl ' 

That's my weapon against bullies . 

' I would have never recognized you , you've grown so talll and even your skin had become darker ' 

' I have changed , i am not the same anymore ' 

His eyes seemed so empty , as if he wasn't looking at me . 

dark 

and lonely 

' but you still have problems with dealing with boys don't you ? ' he added 

' Kim jongin had always been an exception . ' 

' What ? ' his hands reaching  the back  of his hair , he messed it before laughing out loud ' How funny , me too . I used to like you ' 

He then looked at me straight in the eyes ' It sad we can't go back to those happy days ' 

I ignore how much his words affected me . Because i felt nothing at that moment . 

I just recall tears running across my cheeks and him   sighing and caming closer , now messing with my hair as he ruffled it with his hands . 

' don't cry ' he whispered ' don't cry  , it is annoying ' 

I tried to understand his expression , but the picture came out blurry as tears filled my eyes . 

He looked even sadder than me ...