I am no good when it comes to boys , and it became worse after i entered middle school . 

 

Boys are noisy , they are brutal , stupid and annoying . They tend to make me uncomfortable and they cause my relationship with my female classmates to be kind of troubled . Their existence doesn't procure me anything beside disgrace and sadness . But there is someone among them who seems different . 

Kim Jongin . 

 

He has a small build , his face is tender and gentle  . His voice isn't low like girls , it's clear , like velvet , like a melody that would haunt my memories . That is certainly why im ok with him . I wouldn't mind being near him 

 

I just need to close my eyes , to picture him in front of me . 

young 

handsome 

and full of life . 

 

' What are you doing guys ? ' it was Me-ahri's voice resonating in my ears . We stopped in the courtyard and she was addressing one the running boys . I can easily recognize who its is , it's Junghwa and from all the stories i've heard about him i can easily say too , that he is her crush ; 

' we are playing cops and robbers ! ' 

' Can we join ? ' she squealed before turning to me with shining eyes ' you'd want to play right? ' 

 

I wouldn't refuse  , especially when my eyes laid on a person ,that somehow sends a feeling of comfort and pleasure inside of me . The accelerating rhythm of my heart beat , and the burn of my cheeks as i nod , and connect eyes with him . 

I have never noticed , but he had really beautiful eyes . 

 

As i run to a place , i thought safe to hide . 

' I am sorry ' i whispered as i found out that he had choose this spot before me ' i'll go and search for anot--' 

He tend his arm and the touch of his hand send shivers to my whole body , like electricity , i froze as he smiled one of his tender smiles , that left me amazed at how much of generosity and sweetness were drawn on his expression ' stay here ' he said ' the cops are here you cannot go out now ' 

' You are right ' i confirmed 

 

And he was close so close that i could touch his back with my fingertips , and he had an unique smell , like strawbery maybe? or was it peach , i leaned closer and closer , sniffing his shirt  . 

He turned . 

our faces an inch a part , red blood flashed on his cheeks . 

What is he thinking right now? i seem unable to read his expression .. what if he is reading my inner thoughts? i can't let him see through me !

' Stay here So Eun ah ' 

 

As much as i loved hearing the echo of my name as he left our hiding spot and get captured in my place , as much as i missed him around me , i had to pay him back and i hurried to his rescue . 

 

' I am sorry ' i bowed my head in defeat ' i had planned to save you but here i am captured too ' 

' umm' 

At moments like this i wonder how i should act , what kind of things i should do . I am unable to stop stressing . 

' Thank you '  he almost whispered ' when i saw you running it made me happy , really happy . Thank you ' 

 

And from that day , we would make eyes contact , then slowly look away , before looking secretly again ,  speaking heart's language with our gaze , it would cause my breath to stop for seconds and my self control to vanish .. I loved Kim jongin , 

 

 

 

Our second encounter was during a raining day 

 

 

As i had taken a shelter from the rain ,  i recognized a familiar silhouette . It was his . and he was now standing close to me . Silence filled the place and , i felt genuinely nervous . I had to say something . 

' It's suddenly pouring huh?' he blurted out 

' Yeah it is ' 

what a lame response i had to give , but words refused to cooperate and that was the best i could come up with 

' Are you going to the festival ? ' 

It is bad , it sounds like i am inviting him , embarrassing , it is embarrassing , i thought i was ok with him ,then why do i feel so nervous ? 

' use this   ' 

a warm cloth covered my drenching wet  hair , and i looked up to see his wide smile ' it is my gym's uniform ... I have never used it , expect for once ' 

' WHAAAT ' i screamed 

 

His laughter is filling all my thoughts , till this day , i still hear it , it was a deep and loud . I wonder what kind of face he was making , I wonder if kim jongin was feeling the same as ... 

I wonder where he is today . 

Today , i had to take a shelter alone .  

observe every single silhouette , hoping it would be his 

I wonder what he is doing now . 

where did he go and why . 

 

' It is suddenly pouring Kim jongin ' i shouted , eyes becoming teary , i fought the urge to cry my hear out 

next time i'll come up with a better response 

but will there be a next time?