[Day 0] 

 

School start tomorrow.

 

They are now part of the school board.

 

They see the board more than me.

 

Auto-switched to damage control.

 

Their only son is not perfect after all as they found out last month.

 

---

 

[Day 1]

 

First day.

 

Senior year.

 

Whatever.

 

---

 

[Day 2]

 

Rumours.

 

Spread like wildfire.

 

Those guys did it again.

 

My posse.

 

Fearless leader.

 

3rd year sunbae.

 

Kwon Jiyong.

 

Aka GDragon.

 

***

 

Passed by the dance studio.

 

Peep in.

 

Happy faces signing up.

 

But only  dance.

 

That's what they said.

 

---

 

[Day 6]

 

My trust fund.

 

My family background.

 

My reputation in school.

 

Never ever because of me.

 

Just me.

 

Great friends I have.

 

---

 

[Day 7]

 

New kid.

 

Skinny and awkward looking.

 

Spilled orange juice over my new shoes.

 

Tried to apologise.

 

His satoori was endearing.

 

But not to the guys.

 

They found for me.

 

My new pet.

 

---

 

[Day 10]

 

Jumped him after school.

 

Actually the guys did.

 

Didn't feel like it.

 

Am I going soft this year?

 

Just watched on.

 

He looked so small.

 

Not a single beep heard.

 

Couldn't fought back.

 

Never stood a chance.

 

For the first time.

 

I wanted to help.

 

---

 

[Day 11]

 

Saw him during lunch.

 

Bruised face.

 

Swollen lips.

 

But still smiling.

 

With his friends.

 

Friends.

 

He's going to be disappointed with.

 

Soon.

 

---

 

[Day 12]

 

Skipped class.

 

Need a fix.

 

Passed by the dance studio.

 

Saw him smiling.

 

Finally.

 

---

 

[Day 13]

 

Bumped into him.

 

In the loo.

 

He stopped smiling.

 

Bowed his head low.

 

Like they always do.

 

Why.

 

Can't

 

He

 

Smile

 

At

 

Me

 

Too.

 

---

 

[Day 14]

 

The guys warned everyone.

 

No one touches GD's new pet.

 

Everyone avoided him like a plague.

 

Even his chingus.

 

Especially his chingus.

 

I knew he would be disappointed.

 

But at least he stopped smiling.

 

To them as well.

 

---

 

[Day 23]

 

He never smile in school anymore.

 

Only when he's alone in the dance studio.

 

The guys graduated from tripping him in the hallways.

 

To stuffing him into his locker.

 

I could only watched.

 

I wanted to move.

 

But the whole school was watching.

 

*****

 

Followed him home.

 

Again.

 

Heard him lying to his Mom.

 

Again.

 

My heart

 

---

 

[Day 32]

 

Those guys jumped on him again.

 

This time in the lunch hall.

 

Again I just stood by and watched.

 

Everyone looked on without any sympathy.

 

Even the teacher looked away.

 

I hated my powerful parents.

 

I hated the school board.

 

I hated everyone.

 

Most of all.

 

I hated me.

 

---

 

[Day 42]

 

Saw him being jumped on.

 

By other kids in school.

 

It was getting way too easy.

 

Even the nerds in Science Club took shots at him.

 

It's time things changed.

 

---

 

[Day 56]

 

White Day was a week away.

 

Passed by his locker.

 

For the 1st time in a long while.

 

I smiled.

 

---

 

[Day 60]

 

Nervous about White Day.

 

I smiled.

 

Again.

 

Within a week.

 

---

 

[Day 63]

 

White Day.

 

Will he be happy?

 

If its me?

 

Will he be disgusted?

 

If its me?

 

Will he stay?

 

If its me?

 

Again.

 

I just stood there.

 

Watching him.

 

Like I always did.

 

Yong Ji came.

 

But Ji Yong stopped him.

 

I think I want to love him.

 

I think I wanted to be loved.

 

But that's gay - my parents said.

 

---

 

[Day 69]

 

His legs gave way.

 

He can't outrun them.

 

They jumped on him at the back alley behind the school.

 

Broke something precious of his.

 

Because.

 

For the first time.

 

I saw his tears.

 

---

 

[Day 75 - 12pm]

 

They complained that I've gone soft.

 

Never participating.

 

Just looking.

 

Dare me.

 

To prove my worthiness.

 

As their leader.

 

Urine was the poison of choice.

 

My pet was the target.

 

Switched in the loo.

 

Poured over his head in the middle of lunch hall.

 

He just sat there.

 

He took it all in.

 

I wanted him to stop me.

 

And scream at me.

 

But the whole school laughed instead.

 

I made him the joke of the day.

 

He was safe.

 

Until I came along.

 

Never mind that it was just orange juice.

 

---

 

[Day 75 - 4pm]

 

Alone.

 

In the dance studio.

 

Crying.

 

To himself.

 

For himself.

 

By himself.

 

I want to give him my shoulders to lean on.

 

I want to offer him kind words to soothe his hurt and pain.

 

I want to extend my hands out and hug him safe.

 

Instead.

 

I just peep into the dance studio.

 

And did nothing as usual.

 

He was happy.

 

Until I came along.

 

---

 

[Day 79]

 

I wonder if I step up, will he be safer?

 

---

 

[Day 80]

 

I wonder if I disappear, will he be happier?

 

---

 

[Day 82]

 

I wonder if I die, will he even know I did care?

 

---

 

[Day 85]

 

Wish he would do it.

 

---

 

[Day 88]

 

Finally.

 

He did it.

 

He stood up to me and those guys!

 

He told me to stop bullying him.

 

I just stood there.

 

Smiling.

 

He finally did it.

 

He did what I couldn't.

 

For that.

 

I am happy.

 

Really happy.

 

For him.

 

---

 

[Day 89]

 

I spoke too soon.

 

---

 

[Day 93]

 

The beatings intensified.

 

Gave the school nurse some tips.

 

Boxing.

 

Appreciate her kind efforts.

 

But the look of pity in her eyes.

 

While tending to his wounds.

 

Hurts me more.

 

---

 

[Day 95]

 

They had pushed him off the diving board.

 

After they pulled off his trucks.

 

Everyone laughed.

 

Especially the girls.

 

Passed his trunks to me.

 

He saw me.

 

His trunks in my hand.

 

His eyes.

 

Only shows hurt and pain.

 

He hates me.

 

---

 

[Day 96]

 

They tore all his notes.

 

Burnt it in the school carpark.

 

In front of the whole student body.

 

Again.

 

I didn't stopped them.

 

How can I?

 

Everyone still watching.

 

Especially the guys.

 

Especially at me.

 

They just watched or laughed along at the joke.

 

I bet they won't be laughing if it happened to them.

 

---

 

[Day 97]

 

The guys placed a sanitary pad in his locker.

 

Red ink was used.

 

He puke on the spot.

 

Everyone laughed again.

 

Wuss - they said.

 

He should be used to seeing it - they said.

 

He has a - they said.

 

I had enough.

 

Things will change.

 

Tomorrow onwards.

 

---

 

[Day 98]

 

Told the guys to off.

 

Told them who I really am.

 

Told them to leave him alone.

 

They smirked and left.

 

But not before saying.

 

Your will pay dearly.

 

***

 

Too late.

 

Something brown were smeared all over his locker.

 

He was safe.

 

Until I came along.

 

He was happy.

 

Until I came along.

 

---

 

[Day 99]

 

I waited near his house.

 

Gonna walk him to school.

 

To keep him safe.

 

Gonna take all the beatings if need be.

 

To keep him safe.

 

Saw him messed up his dongsaeng's neatly coiffed hair.

 

Saw him hug his Dad before he went to work.

 

Saw him kissed his Mom on the forehead.

 

And told her that she is beautiful.

 

And that he love her dearly.

 

Then he left his house.

 

***

 

Followed him.

 

He didn't go to school.

 

Walked.

 

And walked.

 

Until he reached the YGe building.

 

He sneaked in through an unlocked small gate.

 

I got caught by the guards before I could reach the lift lobby.

 

Tried arguing.

 

Tried begging.

 

All to be let in.

 

Futile attempt.

 

Then.

 

A.

 

Loud.

 

THUD.

 

---

 

[Day 100]

 

Been in police custody the past 12 hours.

 

Dad.

 

Mom.

 

Lawyer.

 

Psych defense if need be.

 

Damage control in full swing.

 

He was safe.

 

Until I came along.

 

He was happy.

 

Until I came along

 

He was alive.

 

Until I came along

 

He was Lee Seunghyun.

 

Until I came along.

 

Holding onto a piece of paper.

 

I hope you are happy now Kwon Jiyong.

 

I smiled.

 

At least now he knew my name.