[Day 0]

 

Whole family finally settled in Seoul.

 

Dad gotten a well-deserved promotion.

 

Dongsaeng still whines alot.

 

As usual.

 

Mom is contented. (though I know she misses her friends back home.)

 

Home.

 

When will I start refering to Seoul that.

 

---

 

[Day 1]

 

My first day of high school.

 

Looking forward to making new friends in Seoul.

 

I hope they are as nice as my friends back home.

 

Maybe I try being the class joker.

 

---

 

[Day 2]

 

Recess was great.

 

Made a few new friends.

 

A lot of pretty girls in class too.

 

Signed up for the school dance club.

 

Heard about the infamous school bully.

 

3rd year sunbae.

 

Kwon Jiyong.

 

Aka GDragon.

 

---

 

[Day 6]

 

Heard more stories about Kwon Jiyong.

 

Girls love him.

 

Guys hate/fear him.

 

Hopefully I never meet him.

 

---

 

[Day 7]

 

I spoke too soon.

 

---

 

[Day 10]

 

I hesitated to enter my home.

 

Looking at my dirty uniforms and bruised face in the window's reflection.

 

How am I going to explain my dirty self to Mom?

 

---

 

[Day 14]

 

The kids started avoiding me like a plague.

 

Even my 'new friends'.

 

No one wants to associate themselves with the new pet.

 

I felt so small.

 

---

 

[Day 23]

 

It gotten worse.

 

Graduated from tripping me in the hallways.

 

To stuffing me into my locker.

 

Lied to Mom again.

 

Told her the 'guys' and I played soccer in the muddy field earlier.

 

I wanted to hide away my shame.

 

---

 

[Day 32]

 

No one stood up for me.

 

No one helped me out.

 

Even the teachers looked away.

 

Found out GD's parents sat on the school board.

 

---

 

[Day 42

 

Gotten used to being jumped at by GD and his posse.

 

Soon I was fair game to the rest of the student body.

 

Even the nerds in Science Club took shots at me.

 

I.

 

Just.

 

Want.

 

To.

 

Die.

 

---

 

[Day 56]

 

White Day was a week away.

 

An anonymous letter was stuck in my locker.

 

A date.

 

Yong Ji.

 

There's even a <3 and a wink.

 

Meeting Point : Behind the school, near the big tree.

 

I smiled.

 

For the 1st time in a long while.

 

---

 

[Day 60]

 

Still excited about White Day.

 

Yong Ji.

 

Who is she?

 

What does she looked like?

 

I danced the afternoon away quietly in my head.

 

---

 

[Day 63]

 

White Day.

 

I waited.

 

And waited.

 

And waited.

 

No Yong Ji came.

 

I felt unloved.

 

Again.

 

---

 

[Day 69]

 

My legs gave way.

 

I can't outrun them.

 

Jiyong and his posse had done it again.

 

Jumped on me at the back alley behind my school.

 

Broke my first place trophy.

 

My pride and joy.

 

It wasn't the first time.

 

And probably not going to be the last time either.

 

---

 

[Day 75 - 12pm]

 

He poured urine over my head in the middle of lunch hall.

 

I wanted to scream and retaliate.

 

But the whole school laughed instead.

 

I was the joke of the day.

 

Actually I've been the joke since Day One.

 

---

 

[Day 75 - 4pm]

 

Alone.

 

In the dance studio.

 

Crying.

 

To myself.

 

For myself.

 

By myself.

 

No shoulders to lean on.

 

No kind words offered to me.

 

No hands extended out.

 

---

 

[Day 79]

 

I wonder if I die, will they even cry for me....

 

---

 

[Day 80]

 

I gotten an idea.

 

---

 

[Day 82]

 

Maybe I should.

 

---

 

[Day 85]

 

Maybe I will

 

---

 

[Day 88]

 

I did it.

 

I stood up to GD and his minions!

 

I told him to stop bullying me!

 

He just stood there.

 

Smiling.

 

Why is he smiling?

 

---

 

[Day 89]

 

Again.

 

I spoke too soon.

 

---

 

[Day 93]

 

The beatings intensified.

 

The school nurse tried to teach me to box.

 

I appreciate her kind intention.

 

But the look of pity in her eyes.

 

Hurts me more.

 

---

 

[Day 95]

 

They pushed me off the diving board.

 

After they pulled off my trucks.

 

Everyone laughed.

 

Especially the girls.

 

I just wanted to disappear.

 

---

 

[Day 96]

 

They tore all my notes for the finals.

 

And burnt it in the school carpark.

 

In front of the whole student body.

 

Again no one stopped them

 

They just watched or laughed along at the joke.

 

I bet them won't be laughing if it happened to them.

 

---

 

[Day 97]

 

I found a sanitary pad in my locker.

 

Red.

 

I puke on the spot.

 

Everyone laughed again.

 

Wuss - they said.

 

I should be used to seeing it - they said.

 

You have a - they said.

 

---

 

[Day 98]

 

Something brown were smeared all over my locker.

 

---

 

[Day 99]

 

I messed up my dongsaeng's neatly coiffed hair.

 

I hug my Dad before he went to work.

 

I kissed my Mom on the forehead.

 

And told her that she is beautiful.

 

And that I love her dearly.

 

Before I left my house.

 

---

 

[Day 100]

 

EXTRA!!!! EXTRA!!!!

 

STUDENT JUMPED TO HIS DEATH!!!

 

Left behind a suicide note.

 

I hope you are happy now Kwon Jiyong.

 

---

 

A/N:  I cried while typing this down.  Eminem's lyrics are just so beautiful.  For those who are feeling down and feel like your whole world is crumbling down on you, please do know you were loved, are loved and will be loved in future.  Suicide is NEVER the answer.  Think of your family.  If your family is the reason, think of  your friends.  If your friends is the reason, consider a place of worship such as a church, mosque, synagogue, temples, etc.  There are many helplines around.  Please seek help. You are worth it. <3