*First of all, I'm sorry for the grammatical errors and misspellings

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Kimoto Kanon. My cute little sister, step-sister to be sure. My dad married her mom 5 years ago. She’s just so cute that I immedietly accepted her as my sister. But as time goes by, I know this feeling not only love for a sister but... it is more than that. I’m in love with her, my own sister. I know this is forbidden for the both of us, but I can’t help but felt this way. And I know I don’t have any hope because she must saw me only as her older sister. It's also because I know she fell in love with one of my friends, Takayanagi Akane. She never told me directly about that but I could know that by the way she stared at Akane. Sometimes I could see the sadness when she stared at Akane because she knew for sure that Akane already had a girlfriend, Mukaida Manatsu, her classmate.

There’s time when I passed her room and heard her cry. I almost stormed in her room to hug her and cure her pain but I knew that will be surprising for her because she knew me as a cold-hearted girl. It’s not that I never care about her, it’s just that I’m not good with expressing myself and I looked like not really put too much interest on something that she said though I did really care. It's just my body did the opposite.

There’s time when I really hope she’ll see me not only as her older sister but as someone who she could fall in love with. But how come that would happen when all I did is avoided her sometimes. No wonder she more interest to hang out with Akane than me.

If only I can showed you how much I love you. If only I can told you that I love you. If only I had that courage. If only.......

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“Onee-chan, you know, today someone confessed again?” Kanon came in my room and sat on my bed

“Hmmm,” I hummed

“Are you busy?” she asked doubtly

Suddenly I turned to her. “Nope. I just do my homeworks,” I smiled reassuringly at her

“Then are you free tonight?” my cute little sister asked again

“Uh-hu,” I replied

“Then let’s go out to have some fun,” she said energetically

I laughed at her antics. “Sure. Anything for my Non,”

“It’s been 5 months since Kanon left,” Manatsu whispered to Akane while they’re staring at Kumi from her half-opened door

“I know. She’s really worrying me. She’s been like this when Kanon confessed to her in the verge of her dead,” Akane replied, stared sadly at her bestfriend

“She’s still couldn’t accept the fact that Kanon already gone,”

“I guess we also still couldn’t believe she’s gone because of the car accident,”

“She’s really cute and cheerful. She’s like my little sister though we had the same age,”

“I really felt bad for Kumi. She’s been doing this thing. I guess that what she really want to do with Non but she just to shy maybe,” Tears started to rolled down Akane’s cheeks

Manatsu hugged her tightly and tried to cheer her up. Then they started to walked away from Kumi’s room to gave her more time

It’s still crystal clear in my mind.

How excited she was when she saw the monkey stuffed that I’ve been waiting for so long sat still at the shop across the road. She jumped up and down excitedly before ran across the road to go to the shop before I could stop her.

“Wait there!” she shouted at me when she arrived on the across the road and threw me a toothy grin before she ran into the store.

I shook my head at her antic while crossing my arms waited for her to come back.

A few minutes later she ran out the store through the road without put any attention to the road and the vehicles around her, she lunged at me. Before I was aware of the situation around me, I heard a loud crash and a lifeless body surrounded by a pool of blood in front of me. I went numb. I just waken up when a person behind me ran toward the body and knelt in front of it before shouted “Call the ambulance!”

I blinked once. Twice. Thrice. My body moved by itsown, walked real slow to the the lifeless body. As I arrived at the left side of her head. I knelt with full force that earned a lot of thud. I couldn’t careless about the pain in my knee or how it stinged. What most important is the sting in my heart.

I reached her head and swept the hairs that covered her blood-covered face and sobbed. She reached my hand on her cheeck with much force and smiled gently while caressing my hand.

“Here, I got the stuffed that you’ve been wanting for so long. It’s cute isn’t it. Just like you,” she said in a tiny voice that could be barely heard, but my ears could catch it clearly.

“Please, save your energy,” I pleaded at her and that’s the first time I spoke after that heart-wrecking accident happened before my eyes. “Please,” I pleaded again when she brought the stuffed to my hand

“I’m sorry it was cover in blood, but I guess it will be clean when you wash it,” she smiled cheekily that actually made my tears increased

“Please, stop talking,” I cried, so hard

Slowly she brought her bloody-covered hand to my face and caressed my cheeks. “Please, don’t cry. You look more beautiful when you smiled,” she said as well as she smiled. “I probably will not last long, so I guess I have to say it now or never,” she started as she inhaled which only made her winced in pain

I grabbed her face. “Just stop. Stop talking. Please. You will hang on, okay. You will never leave me,” I shouted at her and shook her body

“Kumi,” she called which made me stop my frantic actions. It’s the first time. She never called me by my name. It’s always onee-chan. Nothing more. And the sound of my name in her voice was smooth my mind.

“You and I know, I won’t last long. So, please let me speak it out before I will never get a chance to,” she inhaled again and once again she winced in pain

“All this time, I’m sorry if I never met you expectation which made you barely want to talk to me. I’m really sorry for all the mistakes that I ever did,” she stop and closed her eyes. Tears started to roll down the side of her face

“I knew I shouldn’t feel this way, but it’s unstoppable and it hurts me even more when I try to throw it away. I just hope that you will not hate me after this. I can’t stand with the thought of you hating me.... All this time, I’ve been falling in love with you, Kumi. It’s you. I’m in love with,” with that she closed her eyes, the eyes that never open again. Until now.

I hugged the monkey stuffed tightly on my chest while crying on it. I knew Akane and Manatsu have been watching me and taking care of me all this time and I feel sorry for them, but this pain in my heart. It could never be healed. Never. Ever. Because I could never reply her. I could never say the words that I’ve been wanting to say in my whole life. I’m too coward to do that and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for that. But Kanon, I just hope that you from above can hear it.

“I love you, Kanon. I love you and I will always love you,”

-END-

Thank you for reading and a comment will be really appreciated ^^