chapter 1

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Side notes: this = Onew’s thoughts

This ——= separation

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Onew’s P.O.V

“Taemin I’m home”; It was a long day working in a cramped office all day long, doing nothing but piles among piles of paper work; I was so happy to be home so I could spend time with my love Taemin, little did I know our love meant nothing and it would all come crashing down before my eyes in a matter of seconds

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“Taemin you home!” all of a sudden my worst imaginations appeared in front of me, the love of my life with packed bags in his hands the first words out of his mouth were “I’ll be back for the rest of my belongings later Jinki” …Jinki was/is my real first name this was the first time he’s ever called me by my first name something was wrong and I just hand to know what, I grabbed his hand and spoke, “Taemin what’s going on” all he replied with was “ things between me and you are over I’m leaving goodbye Jinki” he pulled away a second later there was a knock on the front door “come in!!” he yelled, a man with blond hair and blue bangs came in and said “you ready baby’ … BABY!?! “Taemin who is this and why in the hell is he calling you baby” I retorted back glaring at this man calling my Taemin ba

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WickedDemonAngel #1 Dec 3, 2014 18:27:07

Chapter 2: Helloooo~ Saw you wanted comments so I thought I'd give my two cents. :3
Taemin is a . Oh the poor ontae feels. It's sad reading broken ontae because they are my number one otp. <33 Poor Jinki seems really beat up about it too. I think he really loves him. And five weeks?! wow taeminnie you're awful for not letting jinki know about that *glares at Minnie. At least jinki has his friends, and I'm alright with the taekey. Though I'm wondering if they're going to stay together because of what was said in the foreword. o.o It would be interesting to see into the head of Taemin and what he thinks of all of this.
I hope you don't mind if I gave some tips. I think they might help.
Start a new paragraph after each new person speaks or thinks something. It helps make everything look neater and flow smoother.
I'd also suggest trying to make the chapter a bit longer. Really take your time. If you want your readers to love the story then you have to love it yourself and be proud of the outcome.
And after you have typed out your chapter, always spell check it. There's a button that you can press when you're editing your chapter on here that can spell check for you. And if you don't know how a word is spelled google it. I do it all the time. Google is your friend. Google is a lifesaver XD
Anywayyy I hope I helped a bit. I'm sure if you did these tips then you would see more subscribers and comments. I wish you the best of luck! <333 First story can always be nerve-wracking. Like omg I personally hate my first two stories on here. lol but practice makes perfect. Don't give up!