It hasn't been long since I was discharged from the hospital. I hugged my legs and looked outside my window, hoping to see Mark come by. I really wanted to tell him about the confession from Bambam, but I just don't know how to. Knowing that he'll bust his mouth and teeth, I just can't get myself to do it. 30 minutes. One hour. Two hours. Three hours. Many hours past and I haven't seen him. I walked down the stairs and happen to see nobody home. It was always me alone. As I walked out on the porch, I reach for the telescope my parents bought me when I was 14. I was always into looking at stars when I felt lonely. When I looked at the stars through the telescope, I felt tears stroll down my face. "Why am I crying?" I asked myself. I've never felt so lonely before. Without Mark, I don't know what I'd do. 

After looking at the stars for an hour, I sat down. There was something in the air that felt so different. I don't know what it is, but it's making me nervous. I run back inside and lock all the doors. While I locked the last door, I slide my back against the door. Now sitting down with my knees in my face, I look at my cast. I looked at the spot where Mark wrote, "Get better soon, you loser!" I laugh and cry as I stared at it. I took the time to sit there and think. Where would he be? Where is everybody? Is this a dream? I stood up and walked around my big, spacious house. While I trace my fingers across the room, my heartbeat increases. I run. I start running towards a notepad. 

The notepad had inkblots everywhere. I never noticed them. Small, tiny ink blots. As I turn to the next page, I smile. I had an idea. People who tend to play dirty, they don't stop until they're satisfied. I take the pen right next to it and write down every idea that pops into my bed. "Flirting, sympathetic problems, jealousy," I wrote. My objective right now, is not just bringing Bambam's family down. It's taking his heart and crushing it. 

That night passed by pretty fast. I hid the notepad underneath my bed, in my secret chamber. In my house, there are plenty of rooms that nobody knows about. I'm pretty sure that I'm the only one who knows about them. After I wake up, I crawl underneath my bed and jump down to the chamber. The chamber was pretty dark when there wasn't a single light. As I click the light switch, everything is there. Family charts, connections of people, everything. The room was pretty cramped, but when I moved in, I found a desk, filing cabinet and a lot of bulletin boards. 

I felt my heart flutter as I watched TV in the chamber. "Wow, JB," I say to myself. JB was and still is as charming as ever. He was dancing and singing on stage with JR. "Nobody cares about JB," I heard somebody say. I looked back. Mark and Bambam together. I stared at Mark curiously, "How'd you get it? I'm pretty sure I locked the doors."

"Spare key," Mark laughed. 

"Whatever," I groan. As I look at Bambam, I remember the notepad. I asked them if they could search up JB's schedule. I quickly take the notepad and lock it in a safe. There was no way I can let Bambam know, of course. They look up at me and shrug as if they don't know. I sigh and take a seat. "I see you died your blonde streak pink," I say, looking at Bambam.

He nods, "Mark hyung suggested it." 

"Well, at least you two are getting along," I smiled. Those two looked at each other and nudged each other in the rib. I shake my head and looked carefully at the TV screen. "Oh, Bambam, do your parents owe this TV Channel?" I asked, seeing his name on it. 

"Yeah, I manage some parts of it, mostly the fan service," he groaned. 

Mark pushed him, "Man, you should've told me that! I want to meet people from SM." There was no way Mark was going to give up on seeing SM Town people. Bambam looked at Mark and laughed, "Man, they won't even answer my calls, so what's the use of asking me?" While they were talking about f(x) & SNSD, I just sat there staring at the bulletin boards. There were so many people that had connections with my family, yet there was no one who'd think of turning their backs on us. I sighed and rested my head on the desk. It was Bambam's family that thought of it. Just why would they?

When we were all tired of talking, we just sat in silence. "Hey, Bambam, you should go out with us sometimes," Mark suggested. The plan was taken in stage 2: The Three Musketeers. Bambam took time to think about it. I watched his frown turn into a soft, warm smile. "Sure," Bambam said. Mark smiled as if he really was his friend. I smiled at that. I hugged the two of them and laughed, "My two boys!" There was in infact history going on. 

The next fews days flew by. There were no secrets I had to hide now. Bambam seemed to be open to anything I have to say. "Ugh, you know you don't have to listen to her problems," Mark groaned. Mark was still Mark. He never bothered to listen to my problems since we were a 'drama free zone.' I glared at Mark, making him laugh. Bambam looked at me and smiled, "I've always been used to this. My sister had a lot on her mind, so I listened."

A sister? I thought. "So, where's your sister today?"

Bambam's smile went away in an instant. I looked into his brown eyes and saw hatred. "My father sent her away 6 months ago," he said, holding his anger back. I smiled and patted his back. I understood his feeling. To not feel somebody there anymore was a whole different thing than to have somebody stab you in the back. I felt his pain. My brother went away when I was little. The pain wasn't something we could endure by ourselves. But there was a little difference between me and normal people that had gone through my pain. I obviously keep my friends close, but I keep my enemies closer. Learning more about my enemies before I attack is something that helps me forget the pain. "I understand how you feel," I say.

He looks at me with a sparkle in his eyes, "You have?"

I nod, "It wasn't the best thing in the world, but all I could've done was accept it." I hugged my knees close to my face. The pain of not feeling my dear beloved brother near me killed me. My brother was the only person who'd be willing to raise me while my parents were gone. I remember him hugging me to sleep, telling me that Umma and Appa would be back the moment I wake up. I hugged Bambam and told him, "What my brother told me last year when he visited was, 'Just remember, I'll always be there for you. In your heart.'" I took Bambam's hand and placed it on his heart, "She'll always be in here to protect you." 

Mark looked at me then back at Bambam, "I see a lot of things in common." I heard jealousy in his tone of voice.

"I guess, but this could happen to anybody, you know? Eventually you have to lose your siblings," Bambam smiled. We all sat there in silence, letting the moment set in. I felt like there was something we all desire. Something we all need to survive. 

Deep in my heart, I felt it too.

The thing I needed to survive. 

author's note:

Chapter three is out! I hope you enjoy it. (; <3 It's short, but I'll try to make it longer!