::C h a p t e r T h r e e:: {Be Your What?!}

"Are you a good actress?"
Actress? Why does he need to know that?
"I don't know… I was in a play back in high school, but it's been so long since." I replied hesitantly.
Luhan sighed. "Taeyeon, are you sure this one can help me?"
This one? Well, then. With that attitude of his, I'll surely just back down right now.
"Luhan, she's your only hope." Taeyeon said, picking up the empty plates and taking them to the back.
Luhan seemed bitter when he looked at me with his doe-eyes. I stared back, trying to control my flushed cheeks.
"What does me being a good actress have to do with your favor?" I asked, tearing my eyes away for a second to calm my cheeks.

A sudden stingy sensation went down my spine after someone slapped my back hard. I winced and glared at the culprit: Luhan.
"Don't worry about the details!" Luhan was suddenly very giddy. "I just need you to accept what I'm about to ask you."
"Accept something I have no background knowledge of?" I questioned. "At least tell me a few details!" I insisted.
"No." Luhan was blunt.
I pouted. "Why not?"
"Because if I tell you, then you'll just back out!"
"Is it really that bad?!"
"It's not a favor someone asks everyday, I'll tell you that."

What kind of situation am I getting myself in to then?

"You'll just call me crazy for even thinking of asking you this."
"Depends on the favor…" I repeated my words from earlier. "Just tell me!"
"Are you always this stubborn?"
"I'm not stubborn!" I snapped.
"I'm telling you that I'm not going to tell you the favor until you accept it beforehand, and here you are, pushing me to tell you anyways!"

"You already sound like the part. I'm sure you two will make a great couple." Lay snickered.

"Couple?! What does he mean by couple?!" I asked, demandingly.
"Calm down would you!" Luhan groaned. "Thanks a lot, stupid unicorn." He mumbled under his breath.

He took a deep breath before taking my shoulders and forcing me to look him straight in the eyes.

"Will you be my wife?" He asked calmly.

My mind blanked out and I felt dizzy.
He was right, this isn't something someone asks everyday.

I squirmed his hands off my shoulders and stared at him, trying to mentally ask him if what he just said was right.

"Are you crazy?!" I managed to spit out.
"See! I told you you'd think I'm crazy!" He said.
"Well yeah! I mean, you just asked me to marry you! I met you two hours ago!" I snapped.
He seemed pretty calm with our given situation; in fact, he was laughing.
"You make it seem serious." He chuckled.
"Well duh! You asked me to be your wife!" I repeated.
Was he not understanding how ridiculous this was?!
"You didn't let me finish…" he held his hand up, signaling me to shut up.
He cleared his throat once more and leaned over to my face.
"Don't you remember what I asked you before?" He asked.

'Are you a good actress?'

I nodded.
"Well there's a reason to why I asked, stupid. I thought you got the clue." He gently pushed my forehead with his finger.
"Excuse me?"
"Actress. Be my wife." He sighed. "I asked you if you were a good actress, because it's going to be important if you're going to be my wife. Well, actually, pretend to be my wife." He explained, a smug smile creeping over his lips.
"Pretend?" I was somewhat relieved.
"Well duh!" He mocked my reaction from before. "I'm not that crazy to ask some girl I barely know to be my wife. I'm a teacher, for god's sake."
"Why do you need me to be your fake wife anyways?"
"I just got a job at an all girls school and all the teachers are female." He began. "Since I'm the only male teacher, the vice principal thinks that I'll be a distraction to not only the teachers, but the student as well. So to keep the job, I lied saying that I already had a wife and that we were newlyweds. I just need you to be my wife just long enough to get the vice principal off my tail."

And he's calling me "stupid"?
The fact that he lied about having a wife was one thing, but asking a girl he had just met to help him in his scheme just to keep his stupid job is another.

"Why didn't you just apply to another school?" I suggested. He probably never even thought of that.
"No! I have to work at this school and this school only!" He insisted.
"Why is it so important? It's just a school."
"You don't understand." He sighed. "It just is!"

"Well… I'm sorry, I can't help you." I informed.
His eyes suddenly grew wide. He grabbed my arm and looked at me pleadingly.
"No! Please! You promised me!"
"I never promised you anything!"

As Luhan was begging for me to help him, Taeyeon had come back and by the looks of her face, she was taking Luhan's side in this.
"Tiffany, didn't you say you had to find a new place to stay quickly before your lease expires?"

I didn't have a good feeling about this sudden subject change.
"Taeyeon, now's not the time to ask her that!" Luhan growled.
"Shut up for a sec, will you?" Taeyeon seemed impatient.

I merely nodded to answer her. She smiled and looked to Kris, who was just sitting there while recovering from the laughing fit he had during my bickering with Luhan.

"Kris," Taeyeon began, grabbing his attention quickly. "Doesn't Sehun have an aunt in South Korea that owns her own real estate?"

Who's Sehun? Why is Taeyeon asking this?!

"Uh, yeah." Kris nodded.
"Do you think that she can help Tiffany find a reasonable priced place to live?" Taeyeon smirked at me.
"Yeah, I'm sure she can do that."

Taeyeon looked at me with a mischievous grin plastered on her doll face. Luhan seemed to understand what she was doing and smirked at me. I was the only one still confused.

"Hear that, Tiff? You can find a reasonably priced place with just a call made by Kris and his brother." She said sweetly.
"Really? Thanks!" I smiled. "You're really-"
"On one condition, of course." Taeyeon cut me off.
"Uh oh." I muttered.
"If you help Luhan, then I'll get Kris to make the call; and because it's his aunt, she'll probably give you a discount for being a friend her nephews." Taeyeon was never the type to blackmail someone.

"You're evil, you know that, right?" I narrowed my eyes at her. "I'm your best friend, you're supposed to be on my side!"
"Sorry, Fany, but I've been on Luhan's side since he told me his little problem of his. And since you were coming to visit, I suggested you were perfect for the job."

I seriously needed help fast to find a place to live, but I really didn't want to help Luhan. It was a hard decision, but it didn't take long for me to pick the choice that would possibly just ruin my whole plan and purpose for my visit to China.

I groaned as I turned to Luhan. "Fine, I'll help you."
"Great!" He smiled. "You'll be living with me for a month."
"Live with you?!" I whined. "Why can't I just stay with Taeyeon like I originally arranged?"
"Because if we don't live together, the vice principal will question as to how are we newlyweds if we don't even live together."
"How would he get that idea?"
"He lives in the same building as me, to my luck. So if he doesn't see you there, he'll get suspicious and I'll have to blame you for screwing up."

I barely knew Luhan for a solid three hours and I already didn't like him. How am I supposed to pull this off if I can't even stand looking at him?

"You two will definitely pull this off." Hyoyeon giggled. "You already argue like an old married couple, I'm sure you'll be fine."

This is not how I planned my trip to China to end up like…

Is it too late to go back home?

-&-

Luhan had already put my luggage into his car after Hyoyeon have him the keys to open her trunk. I talked with Lay for a while, and he was trying really hard to make me feel less depressed about my given situation with Luhan. He tried to make me laugh and smile by cracking some jokes that Kris had taught him; and since Kris had taught him, the jokes were obviously awful. I still laughed and smiled, because Lay would occasionally mess up and have to start all over with the joke. At least there was someone here who cared about my feelings.

"No, no, no, you're saying it wrong." Kris sighed as he tried to teach Lay to say the joke properly. "It goes like this," he cleared his throat.
"What do Eskimos get for sitting on the ice too long?"
"What?" Lay asked.
"Polaroids!" Kris exclaimed. "Ba-dum-tss!"

Kris was the only one genuinely laughing at his own joke. Everyone else laughed because it was a dumb joke.

"Ooh! I got another one!" Kris was overly excited. "What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?"
"Fish don't run." Lay pointed out.
"It's a joke, Lay." Kris sighed.
"It should still be logical at least."
Kris ignored him and continued.
"Dam!" Kris laughed. "Get it?"
"Now that was lame." Hyoyeon snorted. "You need to come up with better jokes."

"Why do milking stools have only three legs?"
"Shut up Kris." Luhan groaned.
"'Cause the cow's got the udder!"

"Boo!" I said while throwing the blobs of napkins I wasted at Kris. "You !"

"I don't know how we're still friends with him." Taeyeon rolled her eyes.

Kris frowned at all of us. "You guys are just a bunch of s."

"Kris, don't you have somewhere to be?" Luhan asked.

It took Kris a few seconds to process what Luhan had said before he fled the bar, dragging Lay with him. Lay let out short and forced goodbyes before letting Kris drag him by his shirt with little struggle. I didn't question it at all; I was actually thankful that he left, I mean, those jokes were just awful…

This is how I wanted my trip to China to be; full of lame comedy hours, laughs, fun, and just being a tourist! Not being someone's fake wife. But Kris did ruin my lame comedy hour… his attempts at being funny are such big fails, I can't even deal.

"Let's go, Mi-Young ah!"

My face was hot when I heard that. Luhan was at the door, waiting for me to follow him.
"Y-You called me 'Mi-Young'…" I stuttered as I got off my chair.
"Yeah, you are my 'wife' now, so might as well get used to our act when we meet my co-boss."
He quoted "wife". I only nodded and followed him out the door, waving goodbye to the Kim sisters awkwardly. 

Luhan was suddenly acting like a gentleman when he opened the car door for me.
"Thank you." I muttered as I slipped into the expensive looking vehicle. 

It smelled like sweet pea. Like the flowers we have in the shop back in Korea... Gosh, I already miss Jessica like crazy. It hasn't even been a full day, but I have the urge to call her and ask her to come to China and help me. Knowing Jessica and Krystal, they'd tell Jongin and then he would drag them out here. I decided to keep that call on hold until the time was right. 

"Ready?" Luhan asked before starting the car. 
I nodded in response and sat quietly as he carefully drove us out of the bar parking lot and into the open road. 

-&- 

The ride to his apartment was awkward; especially for me. Luhan didn't really pay much attention to me, even when I am begging for some sort of conversation. I mean, I am going to be his fake wife, might as well get out of this awkward stage before someone suspects something. 

As he was pulling up into the parking lot of a large condominium, he suddenly stopped my hand from pressing the red button to release my seatbelt. 
"What is it?" I asked.
"It's the vice principal. When we get out, link arms with me as we walk into the building, got it?" He instructed.

I looked to the front of the building and saw a man walking towards the front doors. I nodded and immediately got out, watching Luhan as he got my things from the back. When he got onto the curb, I took the chance to sling my arm around his and laid my head on his shoulder. I felt very awkward, but I had to pull my best acting if I want that discount! 

Luhan walked with me to the front of the condominium; standing next to the older man as he dug through his pockets for his keys. He looked up and smiled when he saw Luhan with me by his side. 

"Luhan! Is this your wife?" He said something, looking at me with a warm smile.I smiled back and hugged Luhan's arm. I didn't know what he said to be honest…

"Her name is Tiffany, but I call her Mi-Young. She's Korean, and is currently learning Mandarin. She is fluent in English, though." Luhan spoke up in Mandarin.
"Such a lovely young lady you have here, Luhan." The vice principal said. "If you don't mind me asking, what made you fall in love with Mr. Lu?" He suddenly said in English.

I was startled a bit, because I didn't know how to answer that. I've done everything, but fall in love with Luhan. He's too… that's it!

"He's selfish. He's kind of an airhead, but it's what makes our relationship more interesting. His selfishness adds to his jealousy. I find it quite adorable at times." I replied with a smirk. Luhan didn't understand a word we were saying, but by the looks of his face, he's hoping I'm saying something right.

The vice principal seemed surprised by my response, but kept it low with Luhan. "She's real honest."

We walked into the building and went our seperate ways.

"What did you tell him?" Luhan demanded to know after the doors of the elevator closed shut.
"He asked what made me fall in love with you and I said it was because you were selfish." I said innocently.
"What the hell?!" Luhan shrieked.
"I can't be dishonest with an elder I've just met."
"Stupid, you were already lying to him by pretending to be my wife."
My smile fell. He was right.

The doors opened. "Shut up."
I scurried out and looked up and down the long hallway.

"Follow me." Luhan walked the opposite direction I was staring in.
I followed him to the end of the hall and waited behind him while he got his keys out. In the meantime, I looked around the hall and noticed someone was exiting their apartment. It was an older woman. She spotted me and smiled warmly. I smiled back.

"Are you coming or not?" Luhan poked my forehead.

This is going to be an annoying stay at casa de Luhan…

A/N: Let the Lufany moments begin...