When it came time for me to return home Chanyeol was hesitant to let me go. ‘A worried boss’ as he put it, claiming that his sons didn’t want me to leave so soon. I laughed it off and tried to convince him I needed to get back on my feet and continue my life. Much to his chagrin, he finally allowed me to return, only agreeing if he and the boys could have lunch with me and walk me over.

If that was the only thing I had to do, then most certainly I’d eat with them and then go home. Compared to everything else that would probably be the easiest thing I’ve ever done. I was just not expecting my boss to try to talk to me about everything that happened, which involved his brother.

“I should’ve warned you early about my brother and his…friends.” He began, the air tense. “Ever since he joined that group, he’s been nothing but trouble. Our mother and father would be so disappointed in him.” I stared at him, while Kai tried to feed Sehun some food, dropping onto his lap in the process.

“Mr. Park-”

“It’s Chanyeol, how many times are we gonna do this?” He tried to joke, but his comment from before making it almost impossible. I nodded my head and sighed, my head was throbbing and spinning.

“Chanyeol, nothing could’ve prevented this.” I muttered, wiping the food off of Sehun’s lap, Kai sloppily eating his food.

“I could’ve prevented it. If I had come home earlier that day, you wouldn’t have had to help him.” He growled, his hands hitting the table, neither of the children flinched at him, nor did I.

“Then he would’ve died.” I hissed back, trying to comprehend all the thoughts that were now currently going on in my head.

“That’s certainly a lot better than what’s happened!”

“Please stop.” I whispered, trying to ignore the pounding in my head.

“It’d be better if they all died. Scum like them roaming the city-roaming the earth.” He ranted, his knuckles turning white, his grip so tight on his chopsticks.

“SHUT UP!” I shouted, slamming my hands on the table and standing up. All I could see was Jungkook and everything that he did, all those memories playing in my head. I don’t think I could handle everything that Chanyeol was saying about Jungkook, JiMin and the rest of BTS.

I just snapped.

“You don’t know anything about them. They are good people, no matter what you say about them! You’ll never be any where as good of a person as they are.” I hissed, glaring at him; anger pulsing through my veins. It was only after I calmed down that I noticed everyone in the room staring at me that I apologized to Chanyeol. But I did not mean my apology; there was not a sense of regret there.

“That’s where you’re wrong. I know everything about them, because I was once in the same position as them. I was apart of a group, but I repented and changed my ways. As did everyone else in the group.” Chanyeol replied, a glint of sadness in his eyes. I frowned and looked at my untouched food.

“Then who are you to judge them?” I asked, looking back up at him. He never responded to me after that, he only continued to eat his food.

I never did eat my food, my appetite long gone. Kai and Sehunnie begged Chanyeol for food afterwards, and he instantly gave in.

We were walking up the steps to my apartments level when I thought I was going to be sick. Bile rose up my throat but I pushed it down, begging myself to be strong, to fight back.

“Thanks for bringing me here.”

“It’s nothing. Enjoy the next couple of weeks off. Don’t overwork yourself, okay?” Chanyeol smiled, or at least he tried to smile.

“Sure.” I nodded, still fighting off the urges to puke.

“Is there anything you need?” He asked once I opened my front door. I turned to look at him and stared at him.

“No, I’m good.” I replied, staring down at my feet.

"JangMi, are you sure there's nothing I can do for you?" Chanyeol asked me, standing outside my apartment, his two children peeking there heads out from behind him legs. I stared at them before shaking my head, there's absolutely nothing that anyone can do for me at this moment.

"No, Chanyeol. I’m good, really. Go home, Sehunnie and Kai look tired.” I reasoned, shooing him away. There was a hesitation in his eyes before he left, Kai and Sehunnie waving good-bye as they disappeared. I sighed before closing the door, both figuratively and literally.

Today was the day that I end the chapter of my life involving Jungkook, BTS, and everyone besides the Park family. It’s been a rough couple of weeks; everyday feeling like a burden is pressing on my heart. Now, for the first time I feel free, I feel like everything from this point on is going to be a walk in the park.

With lighter steps I walked into the living room, the mess from B.A.P still lingering; memories hidden inside the debris. Taking a trash bag from its box I sat down on my knees to clean everything up.

There was dried blood on a broken picture frame, the picture inside covered in the bodily fluid as well. I tossed the picture into the trash bag without a single regret; a sense of ease filling my mind, and the emptiness fading. The new feeling invaded my mind; my hands began to toss everything in the mess, both the good and the bad.

“Ah!” I hissed, pulling my hand to my chest. A red dot on my palm began to increasingly grow larger, but the pain was just a dull ache. I stared at my head for a moment longer, just waiting for the pain; yet, nothing every came, what was I expecting?

Something.

I was expecting something, anything really.

Shaking the obnoxious thoughts from my head I got up and went to the bathroom. I dug underneath the sink cabinet for the first aid kit, but it wasn’t there. Annoyed I stomped my way into the kitchen to look for it there, and once again I couldn’t find it.

“Where could I have put it?” I asked myself, ripping off a paper towel and placing it on my cut. I looked into living room and re-examined the mess, it looked better but something seemed different. Slowly I walked into the room and looked around; a cold breeze sending chills down my arms. The curtains were blowing in the night breeze, which was odd; the balcony doors were closed a minute ago. Hesitantly I walked to the doors and brushed the curtains away.

Taped onto the balcony was an envelope, sloppy handwriting spelling out ‘JangMi’. I yanked the envelope off and ripped it open; a small paper falling out from the letter.

My JangMi,

         I don’t have time to tell you anything but this. We’ll meet again, not soon, just one day in the future. Keep this with you until we see each other again. What I’m going to tell you in this letter is something that you can’t let anyone know that you know. It’s for your own safety, just like us leaving.

         From the moment you took me into your home (apartment, whatever) I knew that you were going to be the downfall of me. We are like parallel lines. We are so different, though we both are looking at the same place. I’m a gang member and you’re just a beautiful, innocent girl who just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. I have to remind myself of this everyday, but all the time spent with you makes it harder to believe. Thanks to you I’ve become a changed man, I’m gonna stop fighting one day. Until then, forgive me for all of this.

         This whole thing started a few years ago with a boy names SungJong. He was the youngest member in a gang called Infinite. He was just a kid when he joined the gang, as an adult he wished to no longer be apart of the gang. But the only way to get out of a gang is to die; it’s something that you swear on from the moment you join a gang. You’re there for life; they become your family. SungJong was desperate, I had run into on the street and he, for some unholy reason, begged me to help him. I didn’t even know the guy but the guys and I felt the need to help him; so we agreed. When we helped SungJong fake his death, we had an agreement; but it’s broken now that Infinite knows he’s alive. Don’t ask how they know, that’s unimportant. All that matters is this next thing; we’ve taken SungJong away. He’s safe, for now.

You’re safe.

Like I said, keep this all to yourself. Burn this letter if you have to, but enjoy the gift. Hope it leads you to a happy ending.

-JJK

I frowned and looked down at the paper lying face down on the ground. Bending down I fumbled trying to pick it up, my hands shaking involuntarily. The paper was small; writing was on the front and a small picture decorated the back. Written on the front was something, almost like an emotional thing.

Everything was screaming emotion.

'I need you girl

Why am I in love alone, why am I hurting alone?

I need you girl

Why do I keep needing you when I know I’ll get hurt?'

I bit my lip and looked at the moon, tears blurring my vision. I scoffed and tried not to cry out loud; JungKook wasn’t the only one who was hurting alone, I’m suffocating.

I finished cleaning to the best of my abilities and sat down on the couch, both the letter and little card in my hand. I stared at the picture, a bunch of points and lines running together, forming a heart, one dot in the center; all the points pointing to that one dot. Only a short phrase on the first point but numbers on each point, how is this going to lead me to a happy ending when I can’t even understand it?

I spent the rest of the night staring at the picture and thinking about the first point’s phrase. ‘I’m where it all began, where the heavens met the earth, where the lady fell in love with the tramp’, what in the world did that mean? My mind was buzzing with the endless possibilities until I drifted off into sleep.

Where it all began…

With a jolt I scrambled over to my table that held a map of Seoul, urgency pulsating through my whole being. I grabbed it, the letter, and the little picture before I ran out the door.

It all began in the all, where I met Jungkook. It was barley light outside, the streetlights no longer on, I ran into countless things; but it made sense now.

It’s a map, and it’ll lead me to Jungkook and everyone else; it’ll lead me to happiness. I slide into the alley way and hit my forehead, it was pitch black of I was going to find something here I couldn’t see it now.

I was so wrong though, cause it stuck out. My first aid kit, with its childish glow in the dark stickers, which Kai and Sehun placed there, decorating the cover. I ran forward and grabbed it, opening it up and searching for something. Another piece of paper fell to the dirty concrete floor and I dropped to my knees to pick it up.

'Because of you, I’m becoming ruined

I wanna stop

I don’t wanna go back'

Go back, go back to where? I sat down and stared at the paper, deciding to completely disregard the first part of the clue. I wanna stop…he’s gonna stop fighting. Doesn’t that involve no longer being in a gang anymore?

“That’s it!” I shouted, stuffing everything but the map in the first aid kit. A man walking by shushed me, scolding me afterward urging me on the importance of not being rude. I apologized quickly, not waiting for him to finish before I ran off.

Everything was begging to make sense. It’s because of me that he doesn’t want to fight anymore; he doesn’t want to be in the gang anymore. And where else would the gang be on a normal day, at their hideout. Now all I had to do was find out how to get there from the other side of town.