Altacia

Read it here! http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/613622/altacia-romance-supernatural-exo-werewolf

The Story:

The plot is something that I find typically unique. But then again I find all storylines quite unique, as all stories and their writers have their own style. I like the whole werewolf concept and the whole "burly humans" thing. To be honest, at first, I was a bit skeptical of the werewolf concept; felt it was a bit to mainstream. I mean, there are a lot of werewolf stories on AFF! But as I continued to read, I saw the way you set the background, the characters, and the history, I felt the difference of the story and how it builds anticipation. Anticipating the following chapters! 

The Characters:

Leiya: She seems to be a quite shy yet curious protagonist. I want to know more about her character and what she wants and what her goals are. She is a very important character in this story, so I think if you include some sort of internal conflict or distortion in her nearly perfect character.

Luhan: I find him quite interesting. It seems like he has a lot of pressure built atop of him, for he is the next alpha, but he at the same time he doesn't break under pressure. This shows that he is a strong character. I love how he seems to really fit in well with the clan, and that they have accepted him as if he was just like everyone else. They are extremely well bonded and beautifully displayed. Compliments to author-nim. 

EXO: They are a pack of wolves in this story. I find them really mysterious as I don't know much about them, but they seem really cool. Being a major EXO fan, I am glad you didn't decide to include only some of the members. They all seem to play some sort of important role, and I am really looking forward to their character development. 

Mates of EXO: I'm kind of confused over the order, but I feel like it's smart to not make Leiya the first mate of the pack. I mean, how cliched would that be? I'm glad that there is diversity between all of them, and that it isn't just one girl in a house full of guys. I think the mates will be important in the development of the story. They all seem fairly nice and good. 

The Storyline:

This storylne is interesting. I find the whle "werewolf" theme different from the rest of your stories. Seeing as you are taking a shot at something quite difficult with using the mate and alpha relationship and trying to intepret it into something new and unheard of, I find the construction of the story quite complex and refreshing. I want to know about the reaction of Leiya's parents when they realize that their daughter is missing, though. Also, what is "Makma"? I am anticipating your next chapter. I also like how you make the Wolves less villainous, and instead turn the humans into a sort of scapegoat, leading the readers through the point of views of non-humans. 

The Writing Style:

Your writing style is quite swift and at times, wordy and detailed. Like a hat with feathers. I like how you don't just talk straight through the story, but make a point to identify details and points that help the reader to envision a scene. I'd like to live in that world, Altacia, if there really was one. I can imagine a winter landscape with snow and deep valleys with thick forests, as you describe it. However, sometimes your writing is a little bit confusing, so try not to go overboard with what they call "showing-not-telling." 

Grammar:

You're grammar is good. You're good... Really good. However, there are times when I think you may have typed a bit too fast, so slow down a little and you won't miss the little things, okay? Spotless. 

*Just a Note*

I heard. Don't worry about it, although I just want you to know: Don't make any foolish decisions, okay? It will be over soon. Wish you would update sooner though. Hope this review was satisfactory and constructive. By the way, can't wait to find out what Makma is and for the story to continue. Get better :) 

From your reviewer,

Mi Hyun