The IT Hunter

Read it here! http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/603304/the-it-hunter-supernatural-you-undercover-exo

The story:

The plot is enchanting and absolutely genius. I really like the whole "hunter" theme, and I like how EXO is such a mystery. I wasn't expecting that Lay would be able to smell the blood on Abi's clothes, and the fact that EXO is somewhat a mystery to her is something new. The way you bring Abi into the story in the beginning shows that she is strong and knows it, yet as the story progresses you can see the flaw in her character. The conflict isn't very clear yet, but I can only anticipate the following chapters! 

The Characters:

Abi: I find her a very interesting main. The way that she knows she's strong and the professionalism she shows blends really well with the blunders and mistakes she makes. I love how she is so well planned out, yet we all know that not everything goes according to plan. It would be nice if there is more insight on her looks as well, because it would be good for people who visualize the story. People like me, that is. 

Lay: He is mysterious, witty, and at times I feel quite strange while reading about him. I like how in this story he is different from what he's usually portrayed as. Instead of a pure, cute Chinese boy he is a mysterious and somewhat cold guy. I like how the indifference he plays out is paired with cuteness like the blushing of cheeks in Chapter 7. I can actually imagine him this way, and his character really gives off a fresh feel to the story. 

EXO (in general)i: It is refreshing the way you present them. Sort of a new light, that is. I don't know at this point of the story whether they are good or bad, yet the fact that Abi doesn't yet know all of them that well yet draws me in. I want to know more about their characters and what sort of role they each play in the story. I like how the as each chapter is added you give a sort of "profile" for each member that is newly mentioned. I also like how you mix the MAMA era into the story, giving off a sort of rememberance and nostaglia. 

The Storyline:

I like how the storyline is not yet very solid. Although this may be a problem as you continue writing if you don't have a solid plan for your story, the way the story is flowing now is quite entertaining. You leave the reader with things to think about, things to ponder, and anticipation—something all writers should be moving towards. I like how Abi forms a plan and it doesn't go the way she wants it sometimes, and I like how there's a mild surprise in the story that adds to the interest of the reader. Overall, it is quite a good storyline and I hope for the best in the future. 

The Writing Style:

I am very interested in your writing style. It is very similar in ways to many other writers, yet the conflict you produce and the way the characters receive it is new. I like how through your writing, we are able to really be in Abi's shoes, and that this story isn't just a monologue on events happening to her. I like how through Abi's point of view, we are able to view what is happening to her in a more keen sense, and how everything is described with a sort of badass feel to it. I really like how you use your wording to make a character like Abi so interesting and entertaining. Your writing is a really fun one and makes the story quite entertaining to follow. 

Grammar:

I didn't find any major grammar mistakes. Overall, your writing is pretty clean of grammatical errors. However, some words are phrased quite strangely and I'm not sure if I'm just reading it the wrong way, but I don't think it's to the extent that is annoys the reader. Overall, it's pretty satisfactory. Make sure you continue to spell check or something! Keep up the good work :)

*Just a Note* 

You don't really have to change the poster for your story (I read the last announcement)~ It's not that creepy, and people shouldn't judge stories by their packaging anyways. Whoever told you to change it should be ashamed of themselves. You should always pay more attention to the story within, and your story is good one! I also think the format of your story in general is fine. Update soon~! I'm looking forward to the next chapter. 

From your reviewer,

Mi Hyun 

In terms of the story and its author, as well as my comment,  the poster for The IT Hunter has been changed.