As the boy sat unmoving on the bench he mentally claimed, his face was void of any visible emotion as he watched the city lights being reflected through the clear surface of Han River. With vision focused on something that is surely non existent, he waited. Not knowing what to expect but still he stands his ground and waits, maybe he just wants someone to go up to him and tell him that everything is alright while showcasing a knowing smile and maybe give him some concerned pats on the shoulder.

But it isn't alright.

And no one came, as far as he knew he was sitting on a lone bench in the middle of an almost deserted area saved for an old Hobo napping at a corner with newspapers serving as his blanket to protect him from the freezing night.

His string of thoughts were unsubtly interrupted once his phone blasted a very familiar song, Mama chinese version. The very song that keeps on reminding him how he made it as a trainee, feeling nostalgic, at the same time haunting. Fishing his phone from his shorts' pocket, not minding the purpose of the caller's ID, he accepted the call before placing his company's sponsor phone right beside his ear.

Silence met his ears as he accepted the call before some ruffling sound was heard from the other end of the line.

"Chen!" The voice at the other end of the line calls out his stage name which sounds awefully and unmistakably like his Minseok hyung. The korean boy that is placed in the same chinese sub group as his.

"Jongdae!" Jondae jolted in surprise at the mention of his real name.

"Jongdae it's already past ten where the hell are you!" The older one demanded.

"Oh, uhm hyung I'm at Han river right now, I guess I will have to walk home, I don't have enough money for a bus ride, It might take a while before I get home hyung. Don't worry, I'll be fine." Chen mutters coherently.

"Chen if manager hyung finds out about this he's gonna go ape on you!" Minseok sighs audibly at the phone's receiver still rambling something about him being out late despite their early schedules the following morning.

"I'm sorry hyung." Jondae interupts the elder from his well deserved rant.

"Have you eaten yet?" Minseok stops his complaining to check on the boys wellbeing.

"No, not really"

"You know what, just forget about that, stay there, I'll pick you up-"

"No hyung I'm fine, really, you don't need to-"

"Wait for me!"

"Hyung. No. Wait-"Chen's words were cut off as his Minseok hyung hang up on him.

Chen just sighed in frustration, not knowing what time it is he glanced at his phone.

10:34 PM

"Oh, it is late" he mumbles flatly to himself.

Few moments passed by him, not counting the time when his hyung came, carrying an extra coat hanging on his shoulder for the younger , with a small paper bag in his left hand while a cup in the other, knowing that he might be out cold and hungry, again.

The older one always knows how irrational Jongdae can be, when one time Jongdae ran out wearing only a shirt his pants and a pair of dirty old sneakers on a cold winter night, he found him at a park near their company his lips were chapped and he was shivering cold but still kept a stoic face, they were still trainees back then, it was one of those times when his dongsaeng can't seem to master a peice well, since then Minseok always keeps in mind that everytime the younger runs away he must carry an extra coat with him.

"Here" Minseok said in a whisper like voice but enough for the other male to hear while handing out the spare clothing. Jongdae didn't hesitate to take the coat and put it on.

"Thanks." He answers. Not knowing how many hours he spent outside in a cold evening in fall, he did not realize how cold he was until now that he is being protected from the nipping cold by the crisp and warm coat.

"And here." Minseok adds as he hands a plastic cup filled with hot choco before sitting beside Jongdae on the bench. Jongdae hums and took the warm drink from the grasp of the elder before taking a small cautious sip on it.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Minseok asks with a knowing smile.

"Talk about what?" Jongdae asks.

"You know, why you stayed out again?"

"Fresh air." Jongdae fibbed while shrugging.

Seeing through his lies the elder sighed but did not question the matter any longer.

"Nice view of the stars we have here." Minseok tried to change the topic and lessen the tension in the air, which the younger one clearly didn't notice still deeply engaged in drinking his warm beverage.

Chen nodded not even bothering to spare a glance at the little night lights spread across the skies that Minseok is fuzzing about. Silence came upon them, but not for long, as a small grumbling sound was heard.

"What was that?" Minseok asks as Jongdae grew flustered by the second and keeping his head down deciding that the concrete floor suddenly became more interesting than the majestic sight of Han river laid in front of him.

"Oh yeah.-" Minseok couldn't help but laugh at the flustered expression on the face of his dongsaeng (but ended up snickering in attempt to stifle his laugh to avoid making the boy even more emabarrassed than he already is) . "-Here have some kimchi spaghetti, Kyungsoo cooked it for dinner and I tried to save you some before the others can scarf it down, good thing I managed to get some before Tao can eat it. He has a pretty big appetite for a boy his age." As he hands Jongdae a small container.

"Thanks hyung. He is a growing kid you know. He needs it." He mutters as he took the food.

"A growing twit to be exact. Kids these days are pretty unpredictable." Minseok suddenly states. Jongdae just made a grumbling noise in acknowledgement.

"But you're not that much older than us though." The boy mumbles.

"I know, I guess I was just, you know, I feel responsible for you guys, I mean I am your hyung afterall. Kids these days are pretty unexpected, they can do stuffs far more complex than adults can comprehend. I don't know why but when I was young all I did was go stargazing on a hill near my house." Minseok lets out a chuckle.

"Well all I did was play donkey kong every afternoon, after school is dissmissed, does that count as unpredictable?" Jongdae jokes making Minseok laugh a little.

"I guess. But for me gazing at the stars was my favorite thing to do as a child.They say stars are wonders of our universe, science tries to put rational explanations over the matter but for more people pure imagination prevailed leaving people in their fantasies." Minseok adds while glancing at Jongdae to make sure the boy is listening.

"When I was young people would always refer to the best as a star. Not knowing why, I promised myself and my family that someday I will become a star. But later on as I grew up, I started to become aware of my surroundings. I've always wanted to be as bright as the northern star, to be the one in the spot light, just a glance and one will know my name and how great I am. It might be a litlle far fetched as a dream for a child, but I liked myself back then, bigger goals meant bigger accomplishments." Minseok presses his lips into a thin line before letting out a sigh. For Jongdae the sigh was incomprehensible, it has a mixture of doubt, anxiousness, and supricingly, regret. The sigh was far too familiar for Jongdae.

"But that time is long overdue, life happened, responsibilities came. Then slowly I began to realize that a star isn't supposed to be happy, it was surrounded by darkness it might seem different from our night skies but to them help is millions of lightyears away, not a shoulder to cry on, not a companion in sight. I did not enjoy the thought of being like them anymore. It was like a sick joke when in the end I still became a star, in a way." Minseok chuckles bitterly.

A beat of silence engraved them, not one of them wanting to ruin the silence. Until the the silence became unbearably loud in a mocking way, that Jongdae doesn't want it to surround them any longer.

"Hyung why are you telling me this?" Jongdae asks reluctantly unable to comprehend the motive of the older one in telling his petty little story as a kid.

"I am telling you this because I don't want you to be like me, kept in a cycle, I don't want you to do this to yourself, because you know the higher you rise, the harder you fall. I have been living in a life full of expectations, Jongdae I never wanted to be an idol in the first place."

"Then why did you do it hyung? Why did you audition?" The younger asks not knowing if he really wanted the reply when he knows the very answer to his question.

"Like everyone else, I want to prove myself. I was so desperate, too desperate in fact. I only wanted to have the only thing that matters to every human being, acceptance. I thought that maybe in a way people will finally tell me that 'You did enough.' or something like 'You have worked hard enough.' What I did not know was along with our group's growing popularity was also higher expectations. I did not know what happened to me but I let them all to my head. Every single day that I spent with Exo I didn't know what to do, I have long forgotten what is genuine and what is not. I decided to live with a soul void of any emotion. I didn't know who I was anymore, and I don't know what I have become. I didn't know why I chose to have this job, entertaining people and only minding their wants, while they disregard my needs and emotions. But before I know it I can't turn back, I'm in far too deep than I expected." Minseok ended with a deep intake of air.

Jongdae opens his mouth hoping words of comfort may come out but to his dismay not a sound was made so he decided to close it again. Throughout the years that the group has spent together, Minseok and Jongdae has become noticably close evident of being the only two korean members in the chinese sub unit. He never knew his hyung bear these kinds of thoughts about being an idol.

"Jondae,-" the said boy looked up to stare at his hyung"- to whom is your dream for?" He finishes.

The thought never came to mind before he didn't know, he doesn't want to know, but before he knew it his plump lips gave soft audible sob. It did not take long before Jongdae started crying, he tried using his hands to cover his tear stained face and muffle his not so subtle sobs. He started breathing deeply, feeling his lungs constrict, and every intake of air are like a thousand little daggers. His voice became hoarse, letting out a whimper every now and then. He was a mess he admitted but he doesn't care, he want to let it out, he doesn't know any other way other than crying, he already tried another approach at letting his emotions go, but what can he do? His worries and fears grow each day until it pent all up into a great ball of mess. He tried to be an adult and kept his emotions at bay, but no matter how well he manages it, he was still Kim Jongdae the pure hearted kid with a catfish like smile with that mischeivous glint in his eyes.

Minseok did not know what to do, he did not expect this from the younger, he knew each of the members had stories to tell that fans probably knows about but there is one story left untold, the story of Kim Jongdae the boy with an eternal smile and a fragile soul, the boy behind Chen, the very same person that went through the same treatment as him, the one that stayed strong during failures, the persevering boy that was always there in times of great despair, the very same boy that he wants to protect until eternity keeping him close wishing he is safe and sound, his little dongsaeng Kim Jongdae.

"Hey. Hey don't cry." Minseok hugged the boy's quivering body which is now crying senselessly in his arms making circles around the boys back in attept to help the boy calm down. It wasn't much of a surprise when Minseok's shirt became damp from the younger's salty tears.

A/N: Last Chappie will be next!

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