He didn't went straight to the dorms since he knew each of the boys have their own business to mind, he decided to walk around and go to Han river since it's near SMent. He chose to sit on a lone bench away from passersby, for him not to be noticed by some avid fans (sasaeng fans), he sat there alone making him look like a broken hearted idiot when he is surrounded by lovey dovey couples.

As the sun in the sky slowly sets to meet the,what seems like a neverending ocean, Seoul's temperature drastically drops accompanied by Fall's soothing breeze, as the end of a perfectly good year is fast approaching. Different colors of orange, red, blue, and even purple covered the ever so peaceful skies. As Chen brought his eyes back to the clear sparkling water that reflects the image above, Chen felt lost.

Not letting the temperature get in the way of his alone time, Chen, or more like Kim Jongdae for the moment, stayed in his spot on the bench just beside Han river as he watched the city come alive. Despite wearing a meer sweater, a bellow the knee shorts, a bonnet, and a pair of mittens, Chen didn't mind the freezing temperature. Puffs of fogs came out of his mouth as he let out a long exasperated sigh, a sigh that he didn't know he was holding for the longest time.

Unable to comprehend anything that is happening, movements around him became streaks of blurry colors, almost giving him a headache. While the sounds made by the buzzling city sorrounding him were reduced to nothing but faint whispers. Feeling numb all over he stayed perfectly still. Time is moving too fast for his liking. Not liking the idea of his own perspective of time, not one bit. Just like what he is doing, he stayed perfectly still, nothing more, nothing less, but in the music industry, everyone must have something more, more pizzaz they say. Like his Luhan hyung said he must be something special, he has only been a trainee in SMent for less than a year, and to think that it's almost impossible for him to become a trainee, much more to debut in one of Korea's greatest companies. He was pretty shocked.

At a young age Jongdae already found it's interest in music, he may not be the best when it comes to dancing or playing instruments, but one thing is for sure the young lad enjoyed singing. He used to join his school's choir, it may not be as fancy as being in a band or whatnots that makes up a students popularity but Jongdae liked it just the way it is. Jongdae loves singing, so when he was scouted to become a trainee at one of the most successful companies in Korea, he is more than happy to accept. To say he was ecstastic might be an understatement, he was living his dreams. Restless days spent in the practice rooms and sleepless nights of trying to perfect every choreography and every song piece that he might need in his monthly assessments. No pain, no gain they say. This might be the time when he recieves he's gain, April 8, 2012 6 P:M KST the date and time of their official debut, his trainee days finally paid off.

Days became busier, and schedules became hectic. Passing from one music show to another, photoshoots here and there, interviews were held every single day, promoting all around the world, the members of the group became restless, garnering a miniscule amount of sleep. But all their hardships were worth it when they won dozens of awards, best rookie group of the year, best dance choreography, best male group, album of the year, and some minor awards they got from music shows for being number one.

With the amount of trophies and awards they recieved (in which each of the exo members can have three trophies home each for the bragging rights, they can practically give them away as souvenirs if they wanted, I'm pretty sure those trophies will just cram up their already crowded dormspace), Jondae still felt empty. Thinking that after he debut he can finally prove himself worthy. Not knowing what aspect he lacked he yearned for more, maybe he just want to be uncaring for once, he wants something that is really meant for him, not for exo, not for chen, not for the country boy wimp back in middle school, for..., for Jondae, the boy back in highschool that kept a brave front even in times of humiliation, the persevering trainee of a prestigious company, the man that fought all of his self problems without wavering, for Kim Jongdae. For once in his life he wanted to be selfish and be happy for a change.