During the recording..

“So Kikwang ssi, is there any girls over here that made your heart skipped?”. Park Kyung Lim, the MC of the show asked Kikwang. Considering I’m two seats away from Kikwang, I can’t help but to slightly move my body forward to see his expression. No, I’m not hoping he will say my name because I don’t know. I mean, we met for the very first time today and I doubt he knows me anyway. “Yes! There is..”. Kikwang answered and the ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’ can be heard in the studio. “Well actually..”. Everyone’s focus turned to Simon D. “The girl is Min..”. Simon D told us while Min straight away put up her hand. Min said that they talked on the phone before and I saw Kikwang nodding in agreement. This feels weird but to be honest, I felt somewhat disappointed. “It was Min ssi.. Was! But, well, nowadays, I have to say it’s Hyosung ssi..”. The studio went wild and I was literally in a daze. ‘Did he just say my name? Am I dreaming? Seriously? Oh my god! Seriously?’. I thought to myself and before I could stop myself, I was already standing up and bowing like a lunatic and well, let’s just say, I couldn’t control myself at that moment and have no idea what I am doing. “After watching Shy Boy, it was like an arrow to my heart!”. Kikwang told the MCs again. ‘Aigoo Kikwang ah.. You might wanna stop now cause my heart might burst right this minute.’. I told myself and quickly sit down. ‘This feeling.. This feeling that I’m feeling right now.. Could it be? No.. No way.. Jeon Hyosung, you better stay focus Hyosung ah! You’re working right now.. Get back to earth now will ya?’. I’m in desperate need of a reality check right now cause it feels like I’m floating on cloud nine. I don’t even know why I’m feeling like this. The next segment, I was required to do an aegyo which I’ve honestly am not good at. “Try to think of Kikwang when you’re doing your aegyo.”. I heard Tony Ahn say. “I will cry if you don’t love me.. Uhuu.. Uhuu..”. I said. “Don’t cry!”. A very fast respond from Kikwang came and I couldn’t help but cringe. Not cringing to Kikwang’s aegyo though but my aegyo. ‘Where the hell did that came from?!! Am I possessed by the aegyo spirit or something?! Now everyone might think I’m desperate.. Ottoke!!’. I blame myself. Luckily my aegyo wasn’t commented by the MCs and we move on to the next segment. I let out a relief sigh and hoping that I don’t make anymore mistakes after this.

After the recording..

“Thank you for your hard work!”. The recording finally came to an end. We all bowed at each other and make our way back to the changing room. I slowly walked back to the changing room feeling flustered cause an hour of recording for today felt like forever. “Today’s recording was really fun!”. A familiar voice can be heard beside me. “Yes it..”. I can’t complete my sentence. There he was, walking beside me and showing that perfect smile of his. Must that smile always be that perfect? “Wasn’t it?”. Kikwang asked me. I shook my head, trying to gather myself back and was about to answer him when he cut me. “It wasn’t? Is it because of me?”. Kikwang asked me again and I can actually see his disappointed face. “Aniyo!”. I quickly answered him. “It was a really fun recording! I’m sorry, I’m just a bit out today..”. I came out with an excuse and hoping that Kikwang doesn’t misunderstand me. “Oh waeyo? Hyosung ssi gwaenchanayo?”. ‘Ahh that concerned face.. What are you trying to tell me Kikwang ah?’. I thought to myself. “Dae.. Gwaenchana.. No worries.. Anyway, you can just call me by my name and let’s talk down to each other shall we?”. It’s really sweet of him to talk formally to me but it’s getting kinda awkward to me. “If you’re okay with it.. Oh by the way, you are a year older than me right? So should I call you noona?”. “Andwae!”. I quickly answered him but in a high tone without me realizing it. ‘Pabo Jeon Hyosung!’. I told myself. Kikwang looked a bit shocked. “I mean.. Nah.. You don’t have to.. I’m totally fine if we just talk banmal to each other.. Even Yoseob call me by my name so it’s cool..”. I tried to explain to Kikwang and felt relief when Kikwang nodded his head. “Oh! Where’s Yoseob?”. I asked Kikwang casually as it’s getting kinda awkward between the two of us. “Oh he have to go off first.. He got a schedule that he needs to attend.”. Kikwang answered. I just nodded while turning my attention back to the elevator. Waiting for the elevator felt like hours. “So, you have any schedule after this?”. Kikwang asked. I thought for a minute and answered. “Nope.. I’m done for today actually..”. I laughed and so do Kikwang. Finally! The elevator is here. Right now, it’s only the two of us in the elevator. Another awkward moment that we have to face and we ended up not saying anything at all. Once we reached the changing room level, we walk together again through the long hallway in silence and believe me, it was really, really, really awkward. “Alright.. I gotta go now.. It was nice meeting you Kikwang..”. I break out the silence when I’m already infront of my changing room. Kikwang just look at me and I felt like he wanna say something to me but then, it must have been my imagination. I bowed a little and pushed the door open when, “Hyosung ah!”. I heard Kikwang calling my name when I almost close the door. “Yeah?”. I quickly went out of the room. “Uhmm.. Actually, there’s a movie that I’ve been wanting to watch and my members just don’t bother watching it with me.. So, considering I’m free after this and so are you, do you mind going with me? I mean it’s totally fine if you can’t.. I totally understand..”. “Sure!”. Woah.. Okay.. What was that? “Seriously? You’re seriously okay with it? Okay cool! I’ll meet you at the lobby in 10.. We can go with my van.. I’ll just tell my manager hyung..”. Kikwang’s perfect smile can be seen again and he quickly walk back to his changing room. I went in the changing room still in disbelief. “JEON HYOSUNG!!!!”. I screamed which made all the stylist unnie in the room extremely shocked.