January

Baekhyun went home feeling like hell. He was still crying when Chanyeol came up to him and embraced him tightly.

"Chanyeol... Kyungsoo, he was... He was crying and begging for Jongin to come back to him. My heart was breaking while watching him but I just - I just stood there behind him." Baekhyun can't say his sentences clearly because he was sobbing and crying like a child and that breaks Chanyeol's heart.

"Stop. Stop. I hate seeing you like this. It's been over a year Baekhyun." Chanyeol whispered to his hyung's ear.

"I know but I can't help but blame myself. I knew everything. Jongin told me he doesn't have a long time. I should've just listened to you. I never should've let them meet again. I'm the one to blame for everything."

"No. You made the right decision that day. If you didn't let them meet again, then Jongin will die lonely. At least before he died, he managed to tell Kyungsoo everything. He let Kyungsoo feel his love until the last moment."

"But maybe I should do something for Kyungsoo. I still feel guilty, Chanyeol!" 

"Then do the thing you're good at that Kyungsoo will like..."

Baekhyun buried his head on Chanyeol's chest as he start to calm down. "Thank you Chanyeol. I love you so much..." Baekhyun whispered and Chanyeol laughed while rubbing the older's back.

*****

Kyungsoo was a mess. He was walking at the streets while wearing his hood to avoid the public. Being a singer is becoming difficult for him since Jongin..left him. The truth is, Kyungsoo still can't accept the fact that Jongin is dead even though he visits the graveyard almost everyday.

Jongin. You bastard. Why did you leave me? Why didn't you agree with the operation? Do you really want to leave me that much that you didn't let them look for a donor? Or is it because you're suffering too much already? Kyungsoo kept asking that as he stomp his way through the crowd of people.

Tears start to form in his eyes making his vision blur. Even if he dried out of tears, the pain will never leave him.

*****

"What? Baekhyun and Jongdae did what?" Kyungsoo asked Chanyeol, his mouth wide open because of shock.

"They sang a song for you. Well, not just sang. They did it on a show and I was also there. In fact, I was the one who gave them the idea."

"Why? What for?" Curiosity filled Kyungsoo. He wondered why would his friends sing for him on a show? What song did they sing? Different thoughts flooded his mind as he wonder 

"And by the way Kyungsoo, it will be broadcasted tomorrow, the 14th."

*****

Kyungsoo was sitting on his couch while hugging his knees. He was staring on the TV screen and he was waiting for Baekhyun and Jongdae's turn to sing.

The program Chanyeol told him to watch was familiar to him. His manager asked him to perform there but he declined because that was just a month after Jongin's - after Jongin left him.

When the host introduced Baekhyun and Jongdae, Kyungsoo's heart suddenly stopped for a moment.

Then the music started...

Kyungsoo's tears fell down from his eyes. Those tears were the ones that he tried to stop whenever he performs because he needs to be professional.

But the song Baekhyun and Jongdae was singing right now was the same song he sang the day Jongin moved out of their old house.

geu torok saranghadeon geu saram
irheobeorigo
taoreuneun nae maeumman
heuneukkyeo une

The way Baekhyun and Jongdae sang it released all the feelings he tried to hide. All the doubts he was trying to forget came back to him. And most of all, the truth hit him hard.

geutorok mideo watdeon geu saram
dora seol juriya
yejeoneneun mollasseonne
jinjeong nan mollanne

Jongin really left him... for good.

nuguinga bureo juneun hwiparam sori
haengyeona chajajulkka geu nimi aniolkka
gidarineun maeum heomuhaera

Jongin is dead.

*****

Kyungsoo stared at his shaking palms. He gulped as he place those capsules near his mouth.

This is the right thing to do, right? I want to be with Jongin so this is the best way.

He closed his eyes as he slowly swallow the pills that won't let him wake up the next day. He needs to do this. He wants to see Jongin again. He doesn't want to be separated from him anymore. He's tired of longing.

"Kyungsoo?"

Jongin... We'll meet again. Wait for me.

"Do Kyungsoo!"

*****

The whole country was in chaos as the news about the shining star Do Kyungsoo spread around.

He was found dead in his apartment. He killed himself.

Many people are saying some things about him. Most are condolences for his family and friends but there are others gossiping about why the hell would he take his own life? He was a star and there's nothing he could wish for.

But that was not Baekhyun thought.

It was Jongin. Jongin was the reason Kyungsoo took his own life. Maybe longing for his lover became too hard for Kyungsoo. Maybe it hurt so much that he can't take it anymore.

But maybe Kyungsoo did that because he badly wants to be with Jongin. Maybe that was the real reason.

Maybe that explains the reason why when Baekhyun went to Kyungsoo's apartment, he found him slowly fainting yet when he took his last breath in Baekhyun's arms, he was smiling. Maybe he was happy now.

*****

"Jongin!" Kyungsoo called out his lover's name after a long time. He missed him so much.

Jongin turned around to face him and he was smiling.

"Kyungsoo hyung, we meet again."