13th of January  2/2

August 5, 2013

Do Kyungsoo.

That was the name that went around the whole world this year. 

Who is he? Do Kyungsoo is new artist in South Korea. He warms everyone's hearts using his angelic voice that no one can resist. He was a rising star and he gained a lot of fans even though he's just a rookie.

Since Kyungsoo graduated from school, he persuaded his singing career. He got discovered by some agency and now, he's what everyone looks for. His voice is worth fighting for in the first place.

But there is something off with Do Kyungsoo. 

Do Kyungsoo might look like an angel with his innocent face and all but he was as cold as ice. He's almost heartless. No one dares to argue with him because they know they can't win since Kyungsoo knows how to control the situation and turn the tables so much that you'll regret even starting a conversation with him.

Kyungsoo never smiles at anyone except at his parents and friends who started visiting him often at the studio lately.

"Yah Dyo. Bring back my Kyungsoo." Baekhyun poked Kyungsoo's left arm using a drum stick, making Kyungsoo turn to look at him.

"Why Baek? What's the problem?" Kyungsoo asked with his angelic face that seemed devil-like to him. The smile on his face was fake. All of Kyungsoo's smile ever since that day was fake. Baekhyun couldn't stand it. He snorted and stood up.

"Okay. Enough. This is killing me. We need to get him there, Chanyeol!" Baekhyun screamed at Chanyeol who was tuning his guitar, Chanyeol glared at Baekhyun but the latter didn't even flinch or maybe he didn't notice.

"Get me where?" Kyungsoo asked, now curious about the situation. But the other two doesn't seem to remember his existence.

"Baek, you know we can't. We promised—"

"I don't ing care about my promise with Jongin anymore! Seeing Kyungsoo like an ice kills me!" 

Kyungsoo's heart suddenly made its appearance once again at the mention of his best friend's name.

"Promise? With Jongin?"

"Yes Kyung. And it's about time for you to know everything..." Baekhyun said while looking directly in his eyes. Chanyeol only sighed for he knows he can't do anything stop Baekhyun anymore.

*****

Kyungsoo stood there, frozen, as he look at the building in front of him.

Why would Baekhyun bring him to a hospital?

But before he could even say anything, Baekhyun pulled him by the wrist and then he approached the nurse and the two of them talked quietly. Kyungsoo only managed to hear a few things like "Some months.." and "It's near.."

After a while, Baekhyun thanked the nurse and they headed upstairs and only stopped in front of a white door. It looked like all the other doors in the hospital but what made it different was the name placed on the front of the door.

KIM JONGIN

Kyungsoo felt like air left him as Baekhyun turned the knob and opened the door. He instantly saw Jongin who was lying on the bed with many appratus attached to him. 

He looked different. He's thinner. He's paler. He looked so fragile.

"Jongin-ah.." At the mention of his name, Jongin turned to see the person he was least expecting. Jongin was horrified.

"Baekhyun hyung, why did you bring him here?" Jongin quickly sat up and a wave of pain ran through his whole body as he clutched his chest because of the pain.

"Are you alright Jongin?" Panic ran through Baekhyun as he look at the younger boy who was suffering.

"Y-yes I am. So go. Go away." He was lying. Kyungsoo can see it but he can't do or say anything. He lost his voice and he felt like a statue. He couldn't move an inch. He was too nervous to even look at Jongin straight in the eye.

" this Jongin. Stop it! I know you're not okay and Kyungsoo deserves to know the truth!"

"There's no 'truth' for him to know so get him out of here, hyung!" A simple cough followed Jongin's loud voice and Kyungsoo felt chills out of nowhere. Just then, a nurse entered the room and helped Jongin relax himself and after that, she acknowledged Baekhyun.

"Oh Baekhyun. You're here again."

Again? Does that mean Baekhyun goes here often? Kyungsoo thought as he look at both Baekhyun and the nurse. Baekhyun started smiling creepily as he talk to the nurse and that creeped Kyungsoo out.

"Ahh. You're just in time, noona! Could you please tell me what Jongin usually watches on TV? And who is his favorite singer again?" Baekhyun's tone alarmed Jongin but before he could say anything, his nurse was already revealing everything.

"Oh. Jongin loves to watch the news and the music channel to see his favorite singer Do Kyungsoo that is - Oh my! Do Kyungsoo is here, Jongin!" She screamed as she slowly realized Kyungsoo's presence.

"H-hi.." Kyungsoo waved and smiled at the nurse who just nudged Jongin slightly.

"Jonginnie. Your idol is here." She said in a teasing tone.

"Can you come with me for a while noona? I think these two needs to talk. You know, idol to fan stuff." Baekhyun said before grabbing the nurse's arm and pulling her towards the door.

*****

The two of them were silent for what felt like hours. No one was really planning on starting a conversation and there was really nothing for them to talk about even after two years of no communication at all.

But all could Kyungsoo think of was why the hell is Jongin in a hospital? Why is he always watching Kyungsoo on the television when in one phone call, he could see him personally? Because Kyungsoo never thought of changing his number because of the thought that someday, his best friend might contact him once again. And really, why does Baekhyun know where Jongin is when he doesn't? Why does Baekhyun seem to be close to the nurse? What is the promise that he and Chanyeol made with Jongin? Why doesn't Jongin want him there?

Kyungsoo stopped all the thoughts in his head when he realized that all of those will be answered once he asks Jongin who was just in front of him. But could he really ask Jongin? What if Jongin won't even talk to him? Kyungsoo couldn't bear that. Just the thought hurts him because Kyungsoo is afraid of another rejection from Jongin.

Jongin was staring at his old friend and he noticed that almost nothing changed about him. He still looks like a lost kid and that still makes Jongin want to embrace and protect his hyung from everything that might harm him, but Jongin knows that's not posible anymore. Maybe Kyungsoo hates him now because of what he did two years ago. 

But whatever it is, Baekhyun is right. Kyungsoo deserves to know the truth.

"Kyungsoo hyung.." Kyungsoo froze at the sound of his name. He missed this. He missed the way his name sounds like when Jongin calls him.

"Y-yes?" He managed to fake a smile while looking at Jongin but being friends for a long time, the youngers knows what's fake and what's true.

"Hyung, I need to tell something. I need to tell you everything before it's too late..."

Kyungsoo took a deep breath. Jongin wasn't telling him anything yet he was so nervous.

*****

It was too much for him to take in. Kyungsoo clutched the fabric of his shirt at his chest as he process everything that Jongin confessed to him. But whatever he does, he just can't seem to accept the fact that Kim Jongin is dying.

Kim Jongin had a heart attack the morning after something happened between them and the only person who saw that was Byun Baekhyun who Jongin told everything to. He's dying and he can't love Kyungsoo because it might hurt them both. So in the end, Jongin's stupid conclusion was to avoid his best friend like a plague. That killed him even more.

Another shocking thing was knowing the reason why Jongin and Krystal broke up even though they're the perfect couple. It was because Jongin realized and accepted to himself that he was really in love with his best friend. Even after they broke up, Krystal smiled at them and she remained friends with everybody even though she's hurting for being replaced by a boy in his ex-boyfriend's heart. That was a big blow for a girl's pride. But Krystal took it all without complaining.

But one thing's running in his head ever since Jongin told him every ing thing...

Jongin is in love with him all this time?

*****

Pretending that nothing was wrong was difficult yet that's what they did. It was now over a month when Kyungsoo found out everything yet nothing changed. He still treats Jongin as if he was still the best friend he has years ago but they act more loving towards each other now.

Each time Kyungsoo would visit the hospital, he would always cuddle in bed with Jongin and sometimes one of them will fall because the two of them don't fit the hospital bed, and everytime Jongin falls out of the small bed, Kyungsoo will immediately panic and the younger would just laugh at him for being so nervous.

When they are permitted, Kyungsoo would take Jongin out to the garden and they would talk about random things and they would even bully their friends. Jongin would sometimes steal kisses from Kyungsoo and the older would just stare at nowhere because of shock and Jongin would just chuckle at the cute sight.

On the other hand, Baekhyun was feeling terrible. He's starting to regret letting Kyungsoo meet Jongin once again. Sometimes at night, he would tear up and Chanyeol couldn't do anything but embrace him.

"Chanyeol... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have... I'm sorry. I'm sorry..."

"No Baek, it's not your fault if things go wrong.. Keep that in mind.." 

"But Chanyeol, because of me Kyungsoo will be a lot sadder than before after... after..." Baekhyun didn't even get the chance to finish his sentence when he broke down again.

"It's too late for that Baekhyun..."

*****

January 6, 2014

Kyungsoo was sitting on a bench in the hospital garden his head resting on Jongin's shoulder.

"Hyung... It's almost our birthday..." Jongin placed his hand on top of Kyungsoo's and the older shivered at its coldness. Kyungsoo stared at Jongin for a while who was looking up to the sky and smiled.

"And I promise that we'll celebrate it together like the usual.." Kyungsoo promised Jongin as his grip on the younger's hand became tighter. 

*****

January 12, 2014

Kyungsoo rushed out of his dressing room when Chanyeol called him. He was supposed to guest on some late night variety show but now, he doesn't care.

Jongin. Jongin. Jongin. Kim Jongin!

All inside his head was Jongin as he ran out of the building. Even when he's driving, his head was full of thoughts about Jongin that its making him crazy.

As Kyungsoo reached the hospital door, his heartbeat was getting faster and his hands are getting colder. 

Jongin, I promised we'll celebrate our birthdays together. You can't do this to me Jongin. You can't leave me. Not yet please... 

But it was too late.

*****

Kim Jongin. Date and time of death; January 13, 2014, 01:43 AM.

*****

13TH OF JANUARY, One year later...

Kyungsoo was standing in front of a tomb stone. Tears were flowing from his eyes as he starts to sing Jongin's favorite song. His tears won't stop no matter what. It just won't.

"Jongin-ah... Why? Why did you do this to me?" Kyungsoo said in between his sobs. His voice was already broken and his throat starts to hurt. He was singing for hours in front of the tomb stone but he just can't feel satisfaction. 

He was hoping that Jongin would appear to kiss his tears away like he usually does. There's nothing wrong with that, right?

Even though he knows that that was one of the most impossible things to hope for, he just can't accept the fact that Kim Jongin—his best friend, lover, brother and everything, is gone forever.

"Jongin... I need you. I need you by my side again." Kyungsoo's legs finally gave in as he fell down to the ground.

"I thought I can handle it. But I was wrong. Living without you had been like hell everyday. It kills me slowly each time I would wake up and then remember that you're not by my side anymore. Please come back to me, Jongin..." Kyungsoo was hugging his knees as he cried.

Behind him, there stood Baekhyun who was crying as he stared at his friend. He shouldn't even have let them meet again. He knew this would happen but why the hell did he let Jongin and Kyungsoo meet again? Yes, Kyungsoo is alive but his heart is dead just like before...

And there will be no Jongin to warm his Kyungsoo's ice cold heart once again