I was holding onto the stack of diaries and the pills.

She has depression? Why is she hiding it away from me? 

I was fuming inside, why didn't she tell me anything? 

I was about to throw and leave everything. 

Until i remember, i was the cause of everything.

i looked down to the weak and pale figure that was lying infront.

I then decided, to stay still and read her diaries.

Bad Day                                         12.04

Today, he came home drunk again. 

He slapped me across my cheeks. I held in the pain and looked into his eyes.

I no longer see the angelic and soft eyes i seen.

It was full of hate and darkness.

Have i done something to him?

Did i break him? 

If i did i want to pay my life for him to change back to what he was.

He scares me everyday, every single night i hope he will be back like last time coming home to give me hugs and kisses.

Buying foods and presents for me.

But no.

He comes home , drunk, perfumed, women, untidy clothes.

To him, i might just be someone that cleans up the mess.

But to me, his my world. His my everything. 

I would still love you. 

Bad Day                          14.05

Today  was ByungNam's parent's session.

I asked him to go with me, he said no.

It was a waste of his time. I understand now.