The rest of the week seemed longer than ever. Everyday I woke up to an empty bed, almost panicking, only to realize that I was not back at the EXO dorm, but in my own apartment. The morning was spent distracting myself with homework in attempts to keep my mind off the confrontation with Lee Soo Man, and my afternoons and evenings were spent at work.

 

Although work was the only thing that took me away from my loneliness and confused thoughts, it was also a lot more burdening that it had been in the past. Psychologically, I couldn’t get over the fact that someone had been stalking Jongin and I for months - almost a year- and I would always check around me no matter where I went.

 

Physically and emotionally, I began to distance myself from the members, and more specifically Jongin. I was scared. I wanted to have him by my side, but ironically, the only way to do that, was to watch him from afar.

 

Jongin never questioned my actions, however, whenever I announced that I would be heading back to my apartment for the night, his expression seemed grim. Our interaction was limited to brief conversations at work, eye contact once or twice on the side, and a hug and maybe kiss on the forehead upon saying goodbye.

 

On Monday, I woke up early to go to class. This seemed to confuse Ji Eun well enough when I spotted her in the lecture hall and took the seat next to hers.

 

“Hey, I didn’t know you were coming.”

 

I shrugged, “I figured I had to start catching up with my classes if I really expected to pass the rest of the midterms and exams...besides, I needed to get my mind off of things.”

 

She looked at me quizzically. “Did you and Jongin get in a fight or something?”

 

“No. I wish,” I sighed. “It’s just really complicated...I’ll tell you later.”

 

By then everyone had filed into the room and the professor was ready to start with the lecture. True to my word, I concentrated excessively on the lecture, even raising my hand to ask a question twice, in order to get my mind off of everything.

 

Around one, I got a text from my manager:

 

Yoonae, Mr. Lee wants to know your decision by next Monday. Let’s meet some time this week to discuss it.

 

I tucked my phone away, not wanting to want to deal with the situation just yet. I needed time for myself to think, and at night, that’s what I did.

 

There was nothing to distract me as I laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling at night. No work, no members, no boyfriend. By two in the morning, I was positive with my decision. I couldn’t drag this on any longer. Jongin didn’t deserve this. He had enough to deal with from work. The pros seemed to outweigh the cons.

 

I would never have to deal with financial instability. Even if I couldn’t stay with EXO, my manager would just place me in SHINee’s team or something, it could be arranged.

 

Jongin’s popularity would never be threatened. He would have nothing to expose.

 

And lastly, we would be able to make a life independent of each other. He could move on, find someone that loved him even more than I did. I could find someone more suitable for my commoner lifestyle. He could concentrate more on work, and I could concentrate on actually finishing my degree and obtaining a career.

 

Yeah, that’s what I would do. I had been fortunate to be able to love him for so long. It’s about time reality caught up with me. It’s time for me to let him go.

 

The next day at work, Jongin caught up with me during the photoshoot for Boy Who Cried Wolf. He came up to me after his turn at the camera. “Yoonae, can we talk?”

 

I froze on spot, bracing myself for an onslaught of emotions. He probably wanted to find out about the way I’d been acting for the last few days, or maybe Lee Soo Man already caught up with him and convinced him to break it off with me instead.

 

“Yeah, sure. What’s up?” I replied, voice breaking out into a small crack from uncertainty.

 

“I was just wondering if you wanted to do something after. Like go have dinner and catch a movie or something.”

 

I looked up, trying my best to force on a smile. “Sure. What did you guys have in mind?”

 

He furrowed his eyebrows, an all too familiar hint of pain flashing in his eyes. “I meant...just you and me.”

 

“Oh….” Silence filled the space between us. All I could think about was how risky this could all potentially be. Almost every moment we spent out in public was captured in those pictures. Going out was just much too risky.

 

But then I looked up and found the tired, and heartbroken look he had on his face. I had realized then how horribly I had treated him in the past few days; practically ignoring him, and now, declining an offer to spend time with him. My heart ached seeing him in pain, and then I figured, if I had to let him go a week from now, I might as well spend all the time I could with him.

 

“Yeah, let’s have dinner after this.”

 

He looked up at me, clearly surprised from my response. I smiled, “it’s been a while since you came over. Why don’t we head to my place instead? We can order take out and watch a movie there.”

 

His expression brightened instantly, and I felt my heart flutter in reflection of his happiness. I could only hope that the choice I made was the best for both of us.

 

True to my word, after the photo shoot was over, we both took my car back to my apartment. It was hard acting like nothing was wrong when ever we were together. My paranoia spiked the most whenever we were in the parking lot, but by the time we were back at my apartment, I began to ease up a bit.

 

We spent that night cuddling in front of the TV, eating, and watching a combination of cheesy chick flicks and horror movies that barely kept our attention. We fell into comfortable conversations,  about our days apart from each other, performances, things I had missed at the EXO dorm, and eventually, more about our relationship.

 

“Hey Jongin,” I started, concentrating on staring at his fingers entwined with mine. “Have you ever thought...about us? About our future?”

 

He snuggled closer to me  and we fell into a comfortable silence. The movie was long finished but neither one of us wanted to part from each other’s warmth in order to turn it off or put the next one on.

 

“Of course.” he said, “how could I not?”

 

I couldn’t look up at him, too afraid that either his answer would end up hurting me, or he would see through my insecurity with one look. “What do you see in the future?”

 

He shrugged, “different things. For one, I could see us continuing the way we are now and maybe, potentially...I don’t know….getting married?”

 

That’s the best we could ever hope for. I thought, but neither of us had to say it to know it was harder said than done. “Any other scenarios?”

 

“There’s always an unstableness isn’t there?” He held me closer to him. “I’m always scared. Scared of screwing things up, because I never want to let you go.  I can’t imagine how it could possibly feel like to let you go. You’re my constant in my life. In such a fast paced career with constantly changing people and demands, you’re the only thing that keeps me grounded. I need you. Some times its hard, always looking around to keep our relationship on a downlow. Always having to hold back from hugging you and kissing you in public. I don’t want any of that to happen but I also can’t deny, it is still a possibility…. a possibility I never want to see happen.”

 

“I need you too, you know.” I said, looking up to meet  his eyes. “You’re my everything. The boys, Ji Eun, they all come second. I don’t have anyone else left. You’re everything.”

 

What led to me all of a sudden crying, I had no idea. But that’s what I did. I cried in his arms, causing him to momentarily panic and rub my arm soothingly.

 

It wasn’t until then that I came to the realization that I needed Jongin much more than I thought I did. Of course, I could always live an independent life. I could force myself to move on , and in all honesty that is probably the best option, but without my parents, without a stable future, all I wanted was him.

 

Unfortunately, life was cruel that way.

 

I held on tighter to him as I cried, just thinking about all that had happened, and all that was about to come next.

 

“No matter what happens,” I heard him say, “we’ll get through it together. I promise.”

 

He gave me a gentle kiss on the top of my head, and from there, we fell into silence.

 

---

 

The next day, I was startled awake with a sudden realization that I had fallen asleep in the middle of mine and Jongin’s date.

 

I found myself on my bed with a sleeping Jongin next to me. It was then that I began piecing things together and panic overcame me.

 

I fell asleep last night on our date. Jongin brought me into my room. He fell asleep. Jongin never left. There could be someone following us. That person now knows that Jongin stayed over at my place. He shouldn’t be here. It’s not safe. I can’t be with him. It’s not safe.

 

“Jongin! Wake up!” He rolled around, a small whine escaping his lips as he stretched but fell limp again.

 

“Jongin,” I said, shaking him, “You have to get up. It’s the morning already. “

 

He refused to budge, so eventually, I had to think of something that would force him up.

 

“Don’t you have dance rehearsal today or something? You have a performance tonight.”

 

With that, he shot out of bed. “What time is it?”

 

“12:30 already. What time do you have practice?”

 

“1:30.”

 

I nodded, and sighed, knowing that I already missed most of my classes for the day again. It seemed to always happen when I was with Jongin.

All order just  disappeared.

 

“Can I use your bathroom? I’m just going to take a quick shower.”

 

“Of course,” I said. “I’ll order us lunch and drive you to practice later. And I think I have some spare clothes you could borrow.”

 

He grinned, kissing me on the forehead. “Always so organized.”

 

I rolled my eyes. “It’s my job. I have to be prepared for whatever you guys get yourselves into. “

 

He chuckled before leaning down and capturing my lips in a loving kiss. “You know you love me.”

 

I felt my heart give a painful tug at his words.

 

“Jongin is like a son to me Yoonae-sshi, and I can tell you two love each other a lot. But if you want what’s best for him, you know what to do.”

 

“I do.” I replied, forcing a smile on my face. He returned the same childish grin back, thankfully ignorant to my small grimace at the end. With that he left. I sighed, sitting up. Today was the day. I picked up my phone while Jongin was in the washroom, and dialed my manager’s number.

 

“Hi Yoonae, it’s great to hear from you.”

 

We could both tell that it was a strenuous conversation. “Is it alright if I come in today? I think...I think I’ve made my decision.”

 

“Yes of course. What time?”

 

“Around 1:30?”

 

“Alright. I’ll see you at 1:30 then.”

 

“Yeah...see you later.”

 

With that, we hung up. I ordered take out for lunch, a habit Jongin and I would never get over as long as we were together. Afterall, neither of us could cook.

 

After he finished showering, we snuggled together as we ate. It wasn’t until the last few days that I realized I had to cherish these moments. His warmth, his loving smile, and just having him always around when I needed him. I should have held on, because everything was about to change.

 

We drove to the SM building with one of my hands linked with his. Since there was time to spare, I walked him to the practice room where the others were already all gathered, stretching for an hour or two of dance practice.

 

“Yoonae!” Sehun cheered, coming over to give me a hug. I returned the action as well, already used the the affection from the youngest member of the group.

 

“Hey love, how was your date?” I turned to the side to find Baekhyun standing beside me. His usual warm smile on his face.

 

“Good.” I replied. “It’s nice getting some alone time sometimes.”

 

“And to get your mind off of things right?”

 

I widened my eyes at his sudden interrogation. Did he know? If Baekhyun knew, then wouldn’t that mean the others knew two? Was I being too obvious that something was wrong? I thought I hid it well at least. The last thing I wanted to do was bother the others about it.

 

“How did you….”

 

He shook his head. “I don’t know what happened precisely, but I just knew that something was bothering you. Not only did you avoid going home with us, sometimes you would be spaced out in your own world. I’m pretty sure everyone noticed.”

 

I dropped my head in embarrassment from never having realized that I was being read like an open book the entire time.

 

“So...whatever it was, did you manage to fix it?” He asked.

 

“Yeah...I came up with an answer not that long ago.”

 

He smiled before leaning in to give me a gentle kiss on the forehead. “That’s good. Don’t let anything bother you. If you need someone to talk to, you know who to come to.”

 

“Always.” I replied, feeling a little more at ease.

 

“Baekhyun, it’s time to go in.” We both separated to find one of the choreography supervisors standing next to us.

 

Baekhyun nodded and bid me goodbye. Unfortunately, I was only able to let out a shaky response as the staff member was now giving me a look. One that was a combination of questioning and disapproval.

 

Until then, it hadn’t completely occurred to me that the supervisor had every right to be suspicious. I really was a lot closer to the members than most would deem appropriate. It was another risk that I had held, not only with Jongin, but with my whole career and relationship with EXO in general.

 

The last of the members disappeared through the door, and with a click, it shut, leaving me alone in the hallway.

 

“1:30.” I sighed, reaching into my bag to pull out a familiar document. “Time to go see the manager.”

 

I made my way to the administrative side of the building, and from there, I stood outside my manager’s door. A rush of deja vu rushed through me as I held my fist up to knock.

 

“Come in.”

 

I opened the door nervously, half expecting the CEO to be there as well, but of course, I was wrong. It was just my manager and her soft, welcoming smile.

 

“Hi Yoonae, come in and take a seat.” I did as I was told, sitting in the chair right in front of her desk. “How have you been?”

 

I shrugged. “Could have been better.” I replied. She leaned back, relaxing a bit with a somber look on her face.

 

“Yeah, I know what you mean. It must be hard.” Suddenly her attention turned to the envelope in my hand. She frowned. “Is that for me?”

 

I nodded, slowly placing it on her desk. “I just thought...I’d make it official.”

 

I watched as she read the front of the envelope, the topic clear and precisely written on the front. As if disbelievingly, she quickly picked up the letter and opened it, scanning through it’s contents.

 

“No…” I waited for her to finish before I started to explain it.

 

“Yoonae, what is this?”

 

“A resignition letter-”

 

“I know! I know what it is but….why? I thought….I thought you needed this job and…” She paused, clearing , and most likely, organizing her mind as well. She sighed. “Is there nothing I can do to convince you otherwise?”

 

I shook my head. “This is what Mr. Lee asked for right? For me to choose my job or Jongin.” I smiled bitterly as I thought back on the conversation.

 

“To tell you the truth Ms. Kim, I was pretty much set on letting him go not even 48 hours ago. I thought I could do it. It seemed like it was what’s best for all of us. We would both continue with our jobs, and we would learn to adapt to life without each other. It’s possible...it’s highly possible,” I took a deep breath, calming at the thought of Jongin before I continued.

 

“To tell you the truth, the most stable option probably is to just break up with him, and leave him behind so that I could live on with my life, and he could move on with his. But last night... when Jongin and I were together, I realized I could do everything. I could leave him, move on, pretend that nothing ever happened between us, but in the end...I don’t want to. I want to spend every moment of my life with him. I want to support him through his ups and downs; when he’s stressed, tired, happy, sad; experience all his life with him. I wanted to be with him no matter what.”

 

I looked up, watching my manager’s eyes turn from sad to warm and understanding. “I worked it out. As long as we keep a distance, no one would come find us. With me gone from the group, gone from the prep team, and - in the eyes of the public - just another stranger to them, then maybe we can get past the work of the paparazzi.” I sighed. “If being with Jongin means giving up this job, and not being able to see him as much, then so be it. I’m willing to sacrifice all of it.”

 

“Are you sure about this?”

 

I took one last glance at the letter and nodded. “Yeah. Just….can you just keep me around for the rest of the week? I want to be with the boys for the rest of the week. I’m not quite ready to say bye yet.”

 

“Of course that’s possible.” She said, her eyes already tearing up. “But what about your financial situation and everything?”

 

“I can figure it out.” I said with a reassuring smile. “Right now, I’d rather spend more time focusing on finishing my studies for the year. I have enough saved up to last for a while.”

 

She sighed, finally seeming to accept the situation. “Alright. Just remember, if you have anything you need Yoonae, contact me. I want to be there for you as well.”

 

“I will.” I replied. “And by the way, can I ask for one more thing?”

 

“What is it?”

 

“Don’t tell the boys anything...they’ll know when the time comes.”

 

“You mean...none of them know what’s happening yet?”

 

I shook my head. “I’ll tell Jongin soon enough. I’m pretty sure most of them already know that something is up but...I don’t want them to try to hold me back, you know? I’ve already made my decision.”

 

“I just hope it’s the right one…”

 

I nodded. “I hope so too.”

 

“You have my blessings Yoonae, and don’t worry about Mr. Lee, I’ll talk to him alright? Just make sure you guys are careful please.”

“I will.” Slowly, I stood up. “I guess it’s time for me to go.”

 

She followed me wordlessly to the door where we stood for a few moments, a strange melancholy feeling hanging around us.

 

“I’m glad to have been your manager Yoonae. If there is a chance in the future, don’t hesitate to come back.”

 

“Thank you for everything Ms. Kim. It was so generous of you to take me in in the first place when I had no prior experience and I didn’t even formally apply for the job.”

 

She chuckled, shaking her head. “That boyfriend of yours has a way with getting what he wants. He’s pretty hard to say no to, and really, I’m glad he selected the right person. Not only for the job, but to have in his life as well. You two are good for each other Yoonae. I can see that. You’re always looking out for each other. That’s why, I’m rooting you on.”

 

“Thank you Ms. Kim.” I said, stepping forward to give her a hug. She returned it as well, giving me a feeling of warmth I hadn’t felt in a while, that is, ever since my mother passed away. “Thank you for taking care of me all this time.”

 

“It was an honour.” She took me by the shoulders and held me at a distance away. “You better get going now. The boys have a music show in the afternoon right?”

 

I nodded, “yeah… I guess I”ll be going then.”

 

“Make sure you visit.”

 

“I will,” I smiled. “Take care Ms. Kim.”

 

“You too Yoonae. Take care of yourself, and Jongin.”

 

I will always take care of Jongin. I almost wanted to say, but I held it back. He’s my everything.

 

With that, I turned around and left. When I got outside, I expected to feel uncertain of my actions. Afterall, I just gave up my only source of income for my relationship, thus, putting my entire life in his hands. In the end, it was like a mad gamble, and I bet everything on Jongin.

 

But, there were no uncertainties.

 

Instead, I felt and unknown weight lift off of me. I felt refreshed, and with new motivation, I made my way to see the boys, despite the fact that I knew I would be watching them slave away for hours in the same old, sweat-scented practice room.

 

In a few days time, all of this would be gone from my life. In the mean time, all I want to do is hope for the best, and enjoy the rest of my moments with EXO.

 

 

---

A/N:

Hi guys! Sorry for the late update. I don't really have any excuse. I mean I had time, but I was either too tired or gaming a lot >< But I'm back now, especially because it's exam break :)

 

After exam break is exams and then summer! Yeah!

Anyways I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. Things are starting to get heavy for their relationship :(

 

If you haven't yet, and you enjoy this story, please subscribe, upvote or comment. I love comments! :D

Thanks for reading and for all the support

 

-Ryeowook, Sungmin, Taemin, Jongin, Luhan, Sungjong, and Sehun's Wifey