Still-Beating Heart

“Eunkwang, I think you’re right… I think I need help.”

Jiyoon regretted speaking those words only a few hours prior.

She was sitting in the hospital bed, her brother shuffling around in the room. They had checked her into the psychiatric ward, just to ensure that she would be watched 24/7. He didn’t want her to hurt herself again.

Eunkwang was placing some clothes in the dresser she’d been provided with. He’d already hung pictures – framed in plastic, of course – and installed her favorite teddy bear alarm clock that would play her favorite music in the morning. He’d even brought her panda stuffed animal to her, which she was cuddling in her arms at that moment.

He stood, looking satisfied with his work. “You’re lucky,” he told her. She just grunted, completely unhappy with her location. Eunkwang sighed. “Jiyoon… we discussed the conditions with your new doctor. You have a lot more freedom than most people here…”

“That’s because I’m not crazy, Eunkwang.”

“And that is what they’re going to keep you here to find out.” He held out his hand. “Phone.” Jiyoon rolled her eyes, but handed over her smartphone. Eunkwang pressed a few buttons. “You, missy, will ignore all calls and texts not from Soojung or me. Got it?”

She nodded, hugging her stuffed panda tightly. “Yes, I understand,” she droned as she received her phone back. She looked back up at Eunkwang. “Can you make sure that I get the work I’m missing?”

A frown tugged at Eunkwang’s lips. “You really want to do work while you’re getting your psyche evaluated?” he asked, crossing his arms.

Jiyoon merely nodded. “This is my last year in high school,” she started, “so I don’t want to miss it just because I’m being treated for some mental condition. I’m smart, I can do this.”

“I never said you weren’t…” Eunkwang began, trailing off when he saw her determined face. He heaved a sigh. “Fine. Just don’t overwork yourself. I’ll bring you all your books and work at the end of the day.”

Beaming, Jiyoon jumped off the bed and pulled her brother into a hug. “Thanks, Eunkwang,” she muttered.

His eyes softened as he ran his fingers through her soft hair. “Anything for my baby girl.”

“ this! I’m not staying in a hospital for four weeks!” Tao growled, trying to lift himself from the bed he’d been confined to.

Kris quickly pushed him back, his eyes burning with worry. “Tao, not only do you have four broken ribs, but you have a cracked skull, sprained wrist, and you were bleeding internally.” His gaze was stern, but Tao didn’t falter.

He simply snapped, “I was, gege. I was bleeding internally. I’m fine!” And he tried to move once more.

“Idiot, you can’t even support yourself! So stay in bed and ask for help if you need to get around! But you are staying here for four weeks, and I’ll be damned if I catch you leaving earlier than that!” Kris finally roared.

The younger male flinched under the elder’s dangerous glare, grumbling as he fell back, crossing his arms with a slight wince as his sprained wrist cried out in protest.

Kris wasn’t stupid.

He noticed Tao’s wince, however slight it was, and softened. Maybe he was being too harsh on his good friend. He reached out, ruffling Tao’s hair. “Just promise me that you’ll stay here. I don’t want you to get hurt again,” he muttered, barely above a whisper.

If Tao was a puppy, his ears would’ve been pressed against his head, his tail drooped and tucked between his legs.

He hadn’t realized how worried about him Kris had actually been.

Now that he did, he realized how unfair he was being to his friend. Kris was only looking out for him the way a brother should’ve. He was trying his best to keep Tao out of trouble, knowing everything leading up to Tao’s sudden personality change almost four months prior.

The black-haired male slowly nodded. “Promise, gege,” he replied, once more sounding like a small child.

He cursed the fact that his eyes watered. He’d never liked being scolded, especially by Kris, someone he loved and respected to the utmost degree. He never wanted to be a bad brother to Kris. He wanted to make Kris proud.

But even with how tough he’d gotten, Kris wasn’t proud.

Kris was worried.

Tao sniffled a little, his tears threatening to fall from his face. “Sorry, gege. I’m sorry,” he sniffed, sounding like a weak little child who’d just done something wrong.

Immediately wrapping his arms around the younger boy, Kris shushed him like a parent would shush a child, rocking back and forth to give Tao comfort. He hated seeing the stupid, childish panda cry.

“It’s not your fault, Tao,” he muttered back. “You didn’t ask for this to happen to you.”

Tao began sobbing as he remembered just why he’d done everything he did. He didn’t know why he’d made the decisions he made, but he knew what had pushed him over the edge.

He pulled away, attempting to wipe his tears as best he can. “Hyung, please do me a favor,” he began, his voice wavering.

The blond looked him straight in the eye. In a low, almost unheard voice, he replied, “Anything.”

“Hate me.”

Kris’ eyes widened. “Tao…” he trailed off, unable to find the words to say what he wanted to say to his younger friend. Tao looked down in a desperate attempt to avoid Kris