"That was a torturous first day."

Baekhyun's statement earned grunts of assent.

We were all sprawled across the field, considering one football game to lift our spirits - an escape from the suddenly harsh world, the inescapable Senior world.

Jongdae was spinning my soccer ball by the tip of his thumb. The Manchester United logos printed at uniform distances around the red sphere blurred in the motion.

"The permanent ink's not a joke, is it?" Jongdae thought aloud, referring to Ronaldo's signature. "We've sent this ball to the pits of hell and yet the markings.. they're.. they've remained unscathed."

Sojin. Trust her to be that meticulous. My thoughts, for the umpteenth time yet, spiraled around her.

Lichen had panicked at lunch over Sojin's absence. She said Sojin wasn't feeling well the previous week but she didn't think it was to the extent of Sojin ditching first day.

Every after class, Lichen would send Sojin updates on our already due assignments. We were also scheduled to have diagnostic tests for English and Mandarin on Friday, then Calculus and Physics the following Monday - all of which Lichen had already reported to Sojin. It wasn't supposed to unseat us Fourth Years since diagnostics held no weight in our Final marks, but Seniors were a shuddering mess by the end of the day.

I'd contemplated contacting Sojin earlier but thought better of it. So she was absent one day. Big deal. Lichen was just being emotional about it. And thankfully, I still didn't have Sojin's number. It would've tripled the effort of restraining myself if I did.

Yixing attended to his ringing phone as he stood up. "Yes?" We all looked at him. "Really? No, I think you're overthinking - no, Lichen, I didn't mean that - hey, listen.. hmm? Okay, okay.. No, don't apologize.. Yeah, okay but I still think you should give it two or three more days.. Of course I'll come with you.. er, you think so?" His eyes darted mine then quickly averted. "I don't really.. well, maybe a little but not entirely." He sighed heavily. "I'm not defending him, Lichen." He was shut for a longer time, intent on whatever Lichen was explaining over the receiver.

Lichen apparently blamed me for Sojin's absence. I guessed, in some blind aspects, I blamed myself, too.

Yixing finally bid her goodbye and picked up his bag. "Gotta go."

"Hey, wait up!" Baekhyun rose. "Where're you going? And what was that all about?"

"Grocery," Yixing replied, securing the straps over his shoulders. "And Lichen's mad at Luhan because she thinks it's his fault Sojin wasn't feeling well in the first place. And now she totally believes Luhan's the reason why Sojin's absent, too."

I met Yixing's apologetic glance before straightening up as well. I had always appreciated Yixing's unsullied bluntness. The guy was just so harmless. Only he could ever deliver dismal news in such a palliative kind of way. A convicted murderer could look at him and feel a fleeting moment of innocence.

"But what would you go grocery shopping for?" Baekhyun pressed, poised to follow him. "Fridge's still packed."

Jongdae was instantly up on both feet, looking deranged. "No! Don't -"

"Jongdae's birthday."

"- ask him.. that." Jongdae sighed at Yixing's declaration. "Why d'you always ruin the element of surprise?"

"Lichen didn't say it's a surprise," Yixing defended.

Tao laughed, driving Jongdae even more betrayed.

"But there's definitely a reason why she's talking to all of you behind my back," Jongdae whined. He turned to Baekhyun. "And you! Why do you always ask such revealing questions? You know he's a loophole."

Baekhyun leered. "My point exactly."

Jongdae's eyes dilated, then he scoffed in disbelief, storming grumpily away.

"You're mean," Tao told Baekhyun.

"You laughed," Baekhyun barked back.

Lichen was almost burning me with her scalding looks of indignation in the days that followed. It was already Thursday and Sojin had still been AWOL.

Perhaps Sojin decided on extended vacation. I held on to the thought despite its unlikeliness. Sojin was never one to skip school in exchange for relaxation. In fact, it was always the opposite.

I still held on to the absurd notion, though. Because it was easier to imagine Sojin doing recreational activities than in the midst of ailment.

The classroom hallways were dark and empty when I patrolled that night. It was a little unsettling. I didn't like it because it mirrored the hollow within me. I didn't like it because it reminded me so much of Sojin. As if I needed more Sojin-centered thoughts.

Aw, man, what's happening to me?

The first time I ever verbally recognized her existence was when I was badmouthing her, and she had heard it. She had witnessed my.. cruelty and yet she had stayed behind. She had helped me clean the lounge and had even bought me food.

What on earth was wrong with me that time?

As I reminisced her unconditional concern, I wondered if she would worry more now that I'd been appointed Head Prefect. And I pondered how long she'd figure out that my patrol night's been moved to Thursday - assuming she wasn't already aware.

I exited the Students Building to retire the night. I had English and Mandarin to juggle by tomorrow and neither was a problem. Still, a good, sound sleep would greatly aid my brain for the diagnostics.

It wasn't so long ago when Mandarin was integrated into the Seniors Curriculum. English was still the universal language but in the advent of globalization, it became an asset for people who could speak Mandarin; they fared better in business opportunities. I guessed, in a few years, other languages were to be included too. Our school was clearly keen on keeping parallel with global progress.

I was about to exit the gates when I sensed shuffling by the school park's gazebos.

One guard eyed me suspiciously. "Coming out, kid?"

"Just a sec," I replied, backing away towards the park.

It was fifteen past nine in the evening.

The first two beldeveres were void. The third wasn't. Already, I could draw out silhouettes from a few meters away. I walked closer.

My stomach churned at the sight.

Jimin was in a heated lip-lock with Jongdae. But something was oddly wrong with the scene. Jongdae was being pressed rigidly against a pillar as Jimin was kissing - no, attacking..? him..? by the lips..?

I looked away, embarrassed by my own intrusion. It was then that I discovered a bottle of liquor on the floor.

Unable to stand them anymore, I cleared my throat. In my three years of making rounds, I had never come across such situations and I feared that, with the scenery before me, I wouldn't know how to handle them.

Jongdae gasped as Jimin cut their frenzied contact, almost losing his balance. Jimin stared at me in horror, my presence clearly unwelco