December 20th 

Luhan wakes up with the worst headache in the world. Goddamn it … my head feels like it exploded he thinks as he rubs his eyes awake, wincing at the sharp pain at the back of his head. It takes him a few more seconds before he looks around and notices that he’s the only one in his room. He glanced at the clock and curses to himself when he realizes that it’s 9 am, three hours later than their normal wake up time. I’m going to kill Jongdae and Yixing for not waking me up… especially Jongdae… I mean we sleep in the same bed he thinks annoyed at his boyfriend. He lies back down and turns over to bury his face into the pillow. He can’t help but giggle as he takes in the faint scent of cinnamon coming from the pillow. Jongdae always loved the holiday season and would stuff his face with the holiday treats the minute it turned December. Luhan wouldn’t even be surprised if he finds some cookies hidden away underneath the pillow.

Sighing he gets back up and starts to get dressed, knowing that they probably had a full schedule today. He glances at the calendar and is surprised that it's December 20^th, Luhan's felt like it's December for forever, but that's probably the exhaustion talking. It was only their second year since their debut and their company had been working them day and night, trying to release hit song after hit song. Luhan winces as he feels the dryness in his throat. He and the rest of the vocal line had been singing everyday since after the Growl promotions to get ready for their ballad promotions. Their song “Miracles of December” had been released in the beginning of December and they had been performing on all the music shows for two weeks. This was going to be the last week of promotions and Luhan was secretly glad, mostly because it would give Jongdae a chance to rest.

Luhan frowns as he remembers how frail Jongdae's started to look. Though Jongdae always kept a smile on his face and laughed the loudest no matter how bad the joke, Luhan had seen the exhaustion seeping into Jongdae’s tiny body. Normally Jongdae would be the one keeping them both awake at night but ever since the promotions had started Jongdae would fall asleep almost immediately, saying that everything was alright as long as he had Luhan next to him. Luhan smiled as he remembered the little nuzzles and kisses that his smaller boyfriend would always give him as a goodnight present.

He quickly stifles the smile when he remembers that he's supposed to be angry at Jongdae for not waking him up. I’m not the one that should be resting he thinks furiously as he walks into the living room of the M dorm. The lights are off and Luhan thinks everyone's gone when he suddenly hears soft snoring coming from one of the couches on the other side. Luhan walks closer to the sleeping body and smiles when he sees that it's Jongdae curled up into one of the furry blankets that Luhan knows is Tao’s. He smiles as he slowly sits down next to his better half and starts to softly Jongdae’s messy hair. Jongdae would always complain when Luhan his hair, saying that he was no kitten or puppy but Luhan would ignore him knowing secretly that it calmed Jongdae down. It was even happening now as Luhan hear's Jongdae’s breathing become softer and his heartbeat become slower. He takes this time to look at his boyfriend and wonders how he had gotten so lucky. Never in a million years had he imagined that the love of his life would be his sassy little band mate.

Luhan must have laughed out loud because he sees Jongdae start to stir awake. Luhan covers his mouth, trying to be quiet but Jongdae had always been a light sleeper and so a few seconds later, a pair of hazel eyes stares up at Luhan.

Luhan smiles at his boyfriend and whispers a small hey before bending down to kiss his forehead. He thinks he sees a small flash of confusion flash across Jongdae’s eyes but he doesn't think much of it. Jongdae was still staring at him and so Luhan pinches Jongdae lightly on the arm. “Hey no staring at me like that.. I’m mad at you… Why didn’t you wake me up and why are you sleeping here?” Luhan says trying to sound mad.

Jongdae still hasn’t said anything and it starts to worry Luhan. He leans over to cup his cheek. “Hey are you okay baby?” he says softly, noticing that Jongdae looks even skinnier than usual. After a few more seconds of staring Jongdae finally smiles up at Luhan and nods his head.

“Of course I’m fine… because you’re here,” Jongdae says softly as he leans into Luhan’s touch. Luhan smiles as he sees the spark of mischief enter Jongdae’s eyes.

“And the reason I didn’t wake you was… because I wanted you to stop being tired so you can play with me,” Jongdae says as he springs up from the couch and jumps on Luhan causing both of them to fall onto the ground.

Luhan laughs and tries to squirm away as Jongdae starts to kiss him all over. “S-stop it… I’m still angry at you!!” he says trying to sound serious but failing miserably. After a few more minutes of being bombarded by kisses from Jongdae, Luhan finally gets the two of them into the kitchen.

“You look like you haven’t eaten in days,” Luhan says as he examines his boyfriend’s body. Jongdae laughs and tries to lean seductively onto the fridge. “I know you still want me,” he says in his best y voice.

Luhan rolls his eyes and starts to cook some rice. “I prefer some meat on my things you know.”

Jongdae pouts and walks over to press himself into Luhan’s back, softly blowing on Luhan’s neck. “Why are you always so mean to me?” he whispers.

“Because I love you dummy.” Luhan says as trudges over to the refrigerator with Jongdae on his back.

They're both trying to cook up some eggs when they hear the door open. Jongdae skips over and smiles brightly as the rest of the M members walk in.

“Hey guys! Luhan’s awake… now we can all go play!” Jongdae says happily as he leans onto Yixing’s arm.

Luhan looks over to see M members looking exhausted and frowns as he sees the bags underneath all their eyes. The holiday schedules always mess all of us up badly.

Yixing's the first to snap out of their dazed state. “That’s awesome Jongdae,” he says with a tired smile. He reaches up to pat Jongdae on the cheek. “You have fun okay? I think I could sleep for a whole week right now.”

Minseok and Kris yawn in agreement before making their way to their rooms. Jongdae pouts but nods his head in understanding. They had gone to film for one of the sports variety shows and filming had lasted all night. The only one left in the living room was Tao, who actually didn’t look that tired.

“Hey Tao, at least come eat breakfast with us,” Luhan yells from the kitchen. Jongdae’s smile returns as he adds. “Yeah Tao come eat! Luhan’s cooking his famous eggs!”

Tao smiles slowly and shakes his head. “No it’s okay ge, I should really sleep and besides I know you like spending time with Luhan ge alone.

Jongdae blushes but still tries to persuade Tao to join them. He finally gives up when Kris comes and peels Jongdae off of Tao and drags him off to their room.

“Everyone’s so mean,” Jongdae says as he sits down at the table.

Luhan smiles and pinches his cheek. “No they aren’t, you know they love you the most and besides you know they can’t stand us when we get all lovey dovey.”

Jongdae scrunches up his nose and leans over to give Luhan a quick peck on the nose. “Fine, but I still think I can only count on you … and Yixing.. and Jong-in and Baekkie of course and Chanyeol and Minseok.. and Joonmyun and Sehun and Kyungsoo and Tao and Kris and and--.”

“I think you just named everyone Jongdae,” Luhan says giggling.

“Alright fine I guess I can count on all of you,” Jongdae says with a sigh before he starts to eat his food.

“Duh now shut up and eat all this food… you’re getting skinnier and skinnier so it’s my job as your boyfriend to fatten you up!” Luhan says with a smile as he feeds Jongdae a piece of the fish he had cooked.

Jongdae gives him a mock salute “Yes sir.. boyfriend sir!”

~

They spend the rest of the day curled up on the couch watching whatever came on TV. Luhan had suggested they sit near the window to watch the snowfall but Jongdae had refused saying he didn’t like snow anymore.

“But why?” Luhan asks confused. “You used to force me to make snowman’s with you every time it snowed in China.”

Jongdae shakes his head. “Well I don’t like it anymore, its too cold and too white and it doesn’t make me feel good anymore.”

“Alright,” Luhan says not pushing the subject any longer. He had noticed that Jongdae was getting moodier and moodier and he didn’t want to make him angry.

Jongdae sighs in content as he snuggles closer into Luhan and puts his hand over Luhan’s heart to hear his heartbeat.

Luhan chuckles as he feels Jongdae start to move his hands all over Luhan’s chest. “Hey that tickles you know?”

Jongdae shakes his head and ignores him. “Shhhh,” he says. “I’m trying to listen to your heartbeat.”

“You’re so weird you know that?”

“But you still love me anyway,” Jongdae says confidently.

“That’s true too,” Luhan says with a smile. “Anyways now tell me did you at least practice your mandarin this morning while I was sleeping?”

Jongdae looks up at him with guilty eyes and Luhan tries to look stern. “You know that we have to perform the Chinese version of Miracles of December for the Christmas Eve show and we only have three more days for us… meaning you to perfect it.”

Jongdae sighs and buries his face into the blanket. “It’s too hard,” he grumbles into the blanket. “My pronunciation … even Baekkie says it better than me.”

Luhan laughs and tugs the blanket away revealing a pouting Jongdae. “You don’t .. you just have to practice more.”

Jongdae shakes his head stubbornly. “No. No more practicing. I can do it I promise as long as you’re there I’ll just pretend like it’s one of our old duets and it’ll be fine.”

“You know how people get when you mispronounce some of the words babe. Come on let’s at least practice together for the next few days. You know how much I love this version.”

Jongdae sighs and reluctantly nods his head. “Alright fine, but let’s sing all the lines together.”

“Okay fine, now let’s practice.” Luhan says as he stands up and pulls Jongdae upright as well. “Let’s go to one of the practice rooms so we don’t wake everyone up, I don’t think people want to listen to us all day long.”

Jongdae shakes his head slowly with a smile. “You have a beautiful voice and I think I could listen to it all day long.”

Luhan sticks out his tongue as he starts to wrap Jongdae around with a scarf. “I don’t believe you and besides you have to say that if you still want to be my boyfriend.” he says laughing as they walk out into the cold Seoul winter.

~

After hours of practicing and fooling around Luhan and Jongdae finally make their way back to dorms. Luhan was exhausted and passed out immediately onto their bed when they got back into the room. He had been a bit disappointed that Jongdae didn’t join him but Jongdae had told him that he should rest and that he was going to visit the K members before heading off to bed.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Jongdae whispers as he kisses Luhan good night. Luhan smiles sleepily and nods his head. He had wanted to talk to Jongdae but he was too tired at the moment. He had noticed that Jongdae was acting very strange. Luhan had caught him staring off into the distance many times throughout the day and he was pretty sure that he had heard Jongdae talking to himself when he thought he was alone in the bathroom. He’s too tired Luhan thinks and promises himself that he'd find out what was wrong with Jongdae tomorrow.

Jongdae slowly closes the door to his room and smiles as he hears Luhan’s soft snores. He didn’t want to leave Luhan but he wasn’t tired and he did promise Jong-in that he would visit them today. Jongdae hadn’t seen most of the members apart from Baekhyun and Kyungsoo for the past month, because they were so busy with MID promotions. Jong-in and Sehun had both whined for hours on the phone the day before until Jongdae had pinky promised them that he would come visit.

Sighing he makes his way up the stairs and rings the doorbell to the K dorm. The door swings open almost immediately revealing two large boys that pounce immediately on Jongdae.

“Hyung! HYUNG! HYUNG!” they both screams as they hug Jongdae tightly. Jongdae can barely breath as they continue to hug him while they drag him into the dorm. Jongdae thinks that they'll let go once they reach the living room but he's only met with more giant hugs from Chanyeol.

“seriously guys. I think I’m gonna pass out,” Jongdae wheezes.

“Hey hey hey guys you’re going to kill our main vocalist,” Joonmyun says as he starts to drag the taller members off of Jongdae.

Joonmyun manages to get Sehun and Chanyeol off but Jong-in refuses to move away from Jongdae. They manage to convince him to at least loosen his grip on Jongdae.

“Thanks Joonmyun-hyung,” Jongdae says with a smile.

“Are you sure you’re feeling okay Jongdae,” Joonmyun says with a worried look. “Kris said that you haven’t been sleeping well and you look tired.”

Jongdae shakes his head, “Nah I was pretty tired but I slept really well last night! Stop worrying, Luhan already does too much of that.”

Jong-in frowns slightly as Joonmyun gives a small smile. “Oh I forgot. I don’t have to worry about you anymore.” He said softly.

Jongdae sticks out his tongue. “Don’t worry I can still be your favorite dongsaeng!”

Joonmyun laughs as he grabs Jongdae’s hand. “You’ll always be my favorite… just don’t tell the other’s that.”

“I’m right here you know?” Jong-in says with a bigger frown. “Nobody loves me anymore!”

Jongdae laughs and drags Jong-in over to the couch where they both lie down. “Stop whining you big baby. You’re my forever favorite too!”

Jong-in gives a small pout. “Well if I’m your forever favorite then why have you ignored me these past few weeks!”

“It’s not my fault that you can’t be a singing machine like how I’m a dancing machine!” Jongdae says with a smile.

“Hyung, you’re not a dancing machine and even if you keep on saying it you’re still not going to be one!”

Jongdae puts his arm over his eyes dramatically. “One day I will be acknowledged by you Jong-in and that will be the best day of my life!”

Jong-in rolls his eyes but snuggles closer to Jongdae. He had missed his favorite hyung and it hurt to not see him everyday. He always worried about him whenever Baekhyun and Kyungsoo came home and told them how tired Jongdae looked or how long they had practiced for. He wished he could take away some of the pain but he knew that he couldn’t.

“Where’s Baekkie and Soo?” Jongdae says looking around the living room.

“They’re gone forever!” Jong-in says feeling jealous. “Don’t you see them everyday!”

Jongdae laughs, “What am I going to do with you Jong-in? I was just wondering gosh!”

Jong-in frowns but says, “They’re inside their room talking to Yixing and all.”

“Oh they’re here too?” Jongdae says surprised.

“Mhm they joined us for dinner. They said you had gone out with Luhan.” Jong-in answers carefully.

“ahhh yeah we did! Anyways let’s go say hi to them okay?” Jongdae says pulling them both up from the couch.

Jong-in frowns but let’s himself be dragged off by Jongdae. They quietly tiptoe to the room and Jongdae slowly opens the door hearing a small part of the conversation.

“I’ll tell them we don’t have to perform the damn song anymore,” Baekhyun says in a hushed voice and Jongdae can already tell that Baekhyun is angry.

“We really don’t need to sing this song anymore not if it’s hurting Jongdae so much, he has to sing so much of it,” Kyungsoo adds softly.

Before they can continue Jongdae opens the door fully and jumps on the bed with a smile. “Guys!!! Stop worrying about me!!!!!” he says hugging his two fellow vocalists. “I am the infamous main vocalist Kim Jongdae!”

They both frown and shake their heads. “No, you’re starting to look worse and worse!” Baekhyun says pushing Jongdae off of him. “Stop pretending like you’re okay!”

Jongdae sighs and leans back on the bed looking at ’s faces. All of the M members were in the room and Suho, Sehun and Chanyeol were peering in from the doorway. “I told you I’m fine… I dunno how many times I have to say it,” he says starting to grow irritated. “Stop babying me. I already have Luhan for that!”

Yixing chuckles softly and says, “Yes yes we all know Luhan’s babying tactics.”

“See!” Jongdae says gesturing at his boyfriend’s best friend. “Now can we all stop worrying about me and can you guys feed me! Luhan already went to sleep and I’m starving!”

Kyungsoo stands up immediately and promises to make something. He persuades the rest of the members to help him leaving only Baekhyun with Jongdae.

Jongdae flops back on the bed and closes his eyes when Jong-in shuts the door from the outside. He feels Baekhyun lie down next to him and he slowly grabs his hand, lacing their fingers together.

“Are you sure you’re okay? I know how you get with this song?” Baekhyun asks softly.

Jongdae sighs in frustration at his best friend. “Baekkie if you ask me one more time if I’m okay I’m going to take away your best friend card!”

Baekhyun chuckles softly and punches Jongdae lightly on the shoulder. “So mean. You don’t love me anymore!”

“You’re the mean one because you know I love you the most,” Jongdae says smiling.

“Now that’s a lie, you used to tell me you loved Luhan hyung the most.”

“I can love the both of you the same amount… actually I love everyone the same amount!” Jongdae says throwing up his hands in defeat.

“You really love him don’t you?” Baekhyun asks sounding quite serious.

Jongdae opens his eyes and looks over to see the worry on Baekhyun’s face. “You mean Luhan? Of course I do, and he loves me just as much.”

“I know. I’m just being dumb,” Baekhyun says turning away from Jongdae. He quickly wipes away the tears forming from his eyes. After composing himself, he turns back and gives Jongdae a big smile. “Well now that you’re perfectly fine, let’s go eat whatever Kyungsoo made and then I can pester you about what I want for my Christmas gift!”

Jongdae laughs as Baekhyun pulls him off the bed. “I have such an awesome best friend. Only worrying about me because of a present!”

“Duh what else are you good for?” Baekhyun says sticking out his tongue before dodging Jongdae’s well-aimed kick and running out of the room.

~

Early morning December 21st 

Luhan wakes up the next day with a groan. His splitting headache is back and Luhan is pretty sure someone must have whacked him pretty hard for it to hurt this much. He rolls over and sighs in disappointment when he sees that Jongdae isn’t next to him. Does he not sleep anymore or what? Luhan thinks as he gets up from the bed.

It’s quarter past 5 and Luhan shivers in the morning air. He tiptoes over and slowly opens the door and peers into the living room. The lights are off as usual but Luhan notices Jongdae sitting on the couch staring out of the window. It’s still snowing and the the window is foggy from the ice and cold air.

Luhan is about to call out to Jongdae and scold him when he hears Jongdae speaking softly.

“Stupid snow… I hate the snow. Why does it snow anymore?”

“Leave me alone… please just go away!”

“Why are you looking at me? Why are you all looking at me? Leave me alone!”

Luhan freezes as he hears what Jongdae is saying. He peers into the room and his heart stops when he realizes that there’s no one there. What’s going on? Who is he talking to? Luhan thinks starting to get worried.

Jongdae bends over and covers his ears with his hand, starting to talk a little bit louder. “Stop it.. stop it!! Stop talking!! I can’t think anymore!”

Luhan is about to call out to Jongdae when he notices the door opposite of him open and Yixing slowly peers out. Luhan is about to wave to Yixing to grab his attention but he notices the sadness in Yixing’s eyes as he stares at Jongdae. Luhan watches as Yixing slowly shakes his head and closes his eyes as some sort of acceptance. Luhan is now very worried at the state of his boyfriend and now his best friend. Before he can say anything he jerks his head towards Jongdae when he hears a large thump on the window.

He looks over to see Jongdae standing close to the window with his hands on the glass. He can see Jongdae shivering and almost jumps when Jongdae hits the glass again with his fist. Jongdae keeps hitting the glass again and again as if he’s matching some sort of beat. Luhan holds his hand to his heart and notices that it almost matches his heartbeat. The dull pain in his head returns and Luhan leans against the doorway trying to blink away the pain. When it goes away he looks up to see Yixing next to Jongdae covering him with a blanket. He can hear Yixing trying to calm Jongdae down and persuade him to go to sleep. Jongdae doesn’t seem to hear him at first but when Luhan softly calls out to him, Jongdae finally turns around and snaps out of his previous state. Luhan slowly walks over to him and holds his hands.

“You need to sleep Jongdae. You’re going to get sick staying up like this and in the cold,” Luhan says softly as he and Yixing bring Jongdae over to the couch.

The whole time, Jongdae’s eyes never leave Luhan’s and Luhan is almost afraid that Jongdae isn’t even blinking. Luhan helps Yixing drape the blanket over Jongdae and starts to softly hum a lullaby. Even though it’s in mandarin, Luhan has sung it so many times that Jongdae also knows it by heart. Jongdae slowly smiles as recognition fills his eyes. He starts to sing softly and Luhan joins him both singing in harmony. Jongdae slowly closes his eyes but continues to sing with Luhan. Yixing pats Jongdae on the head and gives a sad smile when he recognizes the song. Luhan smiles since it was Yixing that taught Luhan this song when they had first met. He gives a small wave when Yixing walks back into his room. Jongdae sings a little bit more but soon falls asleep leaving only Luhan to sing the last verse.

Luhan Jongdae’s hair and tries to not freak out from what he witnessed earlier. He leans over to kiss Jongdae on the forehead, trying to reassure himself  that everything was going to be alright. He wasn't doing a very good job though. Something’s happening to Jongdae and Luhan has no idea what.

~

December 21st 

The next morning, Baekhyun slowly shakes Jongdae awake. The vocal line have an early morning recording for Inkigayo and they are already running late.

"Jongdae... jongdae-yah.. wake up!" Baekhyun says softly.

Jongdae tries to snuggle deeper into the blanket but Baekhyun pulls it away. Jongdae finally gives up and open's his eyes, giving his best friend the best scowl he could manage.

"Don't look at me like that pabo... we're already running late! Soo's sleeping in the car so let's hurry up!" Baekhyun says rolling up the blanket and gesturing for Jongdae to change.

Jongdae sighs and gets up and then realizes that he doesn't see Luhan anywhere. He remembers Luhan being next to him when he fell asleep so he starts to worry as he glances around the living room. 

Where? where did he go? Jongdae thinks as he runs into his room, ignoring Baekhyun's questions. He stops immediately when he see's Luhan lying peacefully on the bed, head buried underneath the blanket. Jongdae breathes a sigh of relief as he stands there and watches Luhan sleep for a few moments. Luhan would always call it creepy when Jongdae told him that his favorite thing to do was to watch him sleep. Luhan would compare him to Edward Cullen but Jongdae was pretty sure he was more of a Jacob than an Edward. 

He tiptoes into the room and slowly grabs his clothes, not wanting to wake Luhan up. He hears Baekhyun and Yixing talking in the living room and wonders why Yixing is up so early. After getting dressed he sees Baekhyun and Yixing still whispering and looking worried.

"What's wrong guys?" he whispers as he walks closer to them.

Yixing just smiles and shakes his head. "Ah nothing Jongdae. I was just telling Baekhyun to not let you talk too much today. You're going to lose your voice if you keep up with yapping."

Jongdae scrunches up his nose and pouts. "But that's my job!" 

Baekhyun grabs his shoulder and brings him closer. "Are you sure you're okay Jongdae?I can tell the manager that you're sick and we don't have to sing anymore. You should rest!"

Jongdae sighs and wiggles out of Baekhyun's hands. "Don't be silly! We have to! We're EXO and besides it's more practice because we have to sing the Chinese version for the Christmas Eve show!"

Baekhyun frowns, "The mandarin version?"

Jongdae looks at him with raised eyebrows. "Well duh! I hope you're practicing because you know that we have terrible accents when we sing that song. Luhan will kill me if I don't make it sound perfect!" 

Yixing smiles and nods his head as he pats Baekhyun on the shoulder. "He knows! It's just the sleep talking right Baek?"

Baekhyun falters for only a second before he puts a smile on his face. "Haha you fell for it Jongdae! and duhhh there's no way I would forget. I also don't need the practice. I'm so much better than you already!" he says teasingly. 

Jongdae makes a gagging noise before he grabs Baekhyun's hand and walks to the door. "Alright let's get this over with. I just want to come back home already and cuddle with Luhan! Take care of him for me Yixing-hyung!"

Yixing nods his head and replies with an "Of course!" as he closes the door behind them.

~

Recording goes smoothly and Jongdae's throat doesn't even feel to sore. "I feel amazing guys! That long night's sleep really helped me out!" he says happily as he skips to the van with Baekhyun and Kyungsoo.

The other two just smile, happy that Jongdae is feeling and looking better. "Anyways we just have one more radio show and then it's break time!!!" Baekhyun says as he leans over to help Jongdae buckle his seatbelt.

Jongdae rolls his eyes at the constant babying when Kyungsoo leans over as well to hand him a soft plushie and some vitamins. "Eat this Jongdae ... no complaints. Joonmyunnie's order!"

Jongdae knows better than to argue with the smaller doe-eyed vocalist and grimaces as he swallows the bitter tasting medicine. "I feel like I'm going to be Superman with all this medicine you guys keep force-feeding me!" he says sarcastically.

Baekhyun ignores him and forces Jongdae's eyes shut with a mask. "No need for sarcasm so early in the morning so you need to sleep now!"

Jongdae sighs but doesn't argue, choosing to lean back and think about what he and Luhan would do during their day off on Christmas. 

He doesn't even realize he had fallen asleep but soon Baekhyun is waking him up and he finds himself sitting in the radio studio surrounded by PD's and other employees.

He dazes out for most of the show, only nodding whenever someone talks to him and smiling when they take a picture. He let's Baekhyun and Kyungsoo do most of the talking but he does hear Radio DJ ask them what their ideal date would be like.

"Ah I have one," Jongdae says into the mic surprising his fellow members and the DJ. The DJ, happy that Jongdae is finally talking, enthusiastically asks him to continue.

"Ah well since we're just starting out as idols, we're pretty cheap you know? There was this one time that Luhan-hyung wanted to go out and eat some noodles but there wasn't any noodle place nearby. I suggested that we take a taxi to one of the more famous restaurants but Luhan refused, saying he would rather go eat the street food. He said that it gives a more romantic feeling, you know? walking down the street, hand in hand, taking in all the smells from the various foods cooking. I was skeptical at first but when Luhan and I went out and ate some cheap noodles hand in hand even I had to agree that it was pretty romantic." Jongdae says recalling their date last Christmas. 

When he finishes, he looks around to see everyone staring at him. It was quiet for a few seconds later before Baekhyun laughs loudly into the mic. "Hahaha Jongdae always was the funny one.... but I agree with him. Luhan and him were always fighting about where we all should go for our group dinners and stuff. I guess they used to sneak out and have their own little meals without us!" He looks over to Kyungsoo as backup and Kyungsoo laughs as well. "Yeah I mean money doesn't always make a date romantic so I'm going to have to agree with Jongdae and Baekhyun on this one!"

The radio DJ looks through her script before smiling up at them. "Ah I guess the Exo members are all really close now huh?" 

Jongdae laughs and nods his head. "Yup the closest!" he says as he grabs Baekhyun and Kyungsoo's hands and squeezes them with love.

The rest of the show goes off without a hitch though Jongdae is pretty sure Baekhyun will get murdered once they reach dorms because he had kept revealing secret after secret about the rest of the members. After they take their final pictures and bow to their seniors, they slowly walk to their van. Kyungsoo runs ahead with the manager while Baekhyun hangs back with Jongdae.

"Hey Jongdae... why'd you tell that story about Luhan-hyung and you?" Baekhyun asks slowly as he grabs Jongdae's hand.

Jongdae looks over at him confused, "Why wouldn't I? It's a cute story don't you think?"

Baekhyun gives him a small smile, "ah no I mean you've told that story so many times and you know how the company gets with all those things.. especially with the fans and those OTP's"

Realization dawns on Jongdae and he immediately feels bad, "Ahh I keep forgetting. I'm sorry Baek I get kind of carried away sometimes you know? But thanks for having my back!" 

Baekhyun leans his head on Jongdae's shoulder. "Anytime Jongdae. I'll always be there for you," he says trying to keep his voice from wavering. 

On the way back to dorms, Baekhyun and Kyungsoo fall asleep in the backseat and Jongdae looks out the window as they sit stuck in traffic. He sighs as he watches the snowfall outside. It hasn't stopped snowing since the middle of December and Jongdae is starting to hate it. He rubs the back of his head as he starts to feel annoyed. He used to love snow but now it just makes him nervous. 

It's so cold and heavy. I feel like I'm trapped and I can't get out or see what's in front of me Jongdae thinks as he starts to rub at the fog on the window. 

"Always so afraid Jongdae. Now you're afraid of some measly snowflakes?" a high-pitched voice says causing Jongdae to turn around. He freezes when he sees the old woman staring at him with a toothless smile. He blinks his eyes a couple of times, hoping that he's just imagining things.

"Stop pretending like you don't see me, little boy. It's been a while since we talked! You keep trying to keep us out!" she says with a slight cackle. Jongdae squeezes his eyes shut, praying that this is all just a bad dream. 

It can't be happening.... not again... they promised they would leave me alone. 

"Alright well if you keep trying to ignore us, I may as well do the talking. What should we talk about huh? How about Luhan and how dashing he's looking now!" the old woman continues.

Jongdae opens his eyes when she mentions Luhan and almost jumps up in his seat when he sees a teenaged boy staring at him. The boy had dusty brown hair and sparkling green eyes. He would be considered handsome if it weren't the giant scar running across his left cheek.

"Hello there buddy! It's been a while," the boy says with a smirk. "I thought you almost forgot about me?" 

Jongdae tries to not scream and he breathes slowly, trying to calm himself down as he watches the two intruders laugh at the predicament.

"Silly boy, always acting like he's normal and okay when he's far from it!" the old woman says.

"Luhan would've never loved him if he knew what he actually was like. What do you think the rest of the Exo people would say?" the boy says as he lies down on the car floor.

"Shut up!" Jongdae whispers quietly, trying to drown out their voices. "Stop talking, you're... you're not real. Just leave me alone."

"Ahhhhh now that's the problem. I'm sorry buddy but we are real. the fact that we're having this conversation makes it real," the boy says as he tussles his hair. "But you're not being very nice ... so maybe I should go play with one of the two sleeping in the back."

Jongdae glares at the boy, "Stop it... leave them alone. Leave us alone. You aren't real," he says his voice slowly rising.

The old woman laughs and leans over to look at the boys. "That's no fair sonny, we want to play with people too. Let's see the smaller one looks especially yummy. Maybe I should just poke him with my stick!" 

"STOP IT! LEAVE THEM ALONE!" Jongdae yells as he lunges at the woman but he finds himself hitting the chair and Baekhyun and Kyungsoo wake up with a small scream.

"Wha-What's wrong Jongdae?" Baekhyun says as he looks at Jongdae worriedly. "Who were you talking to?"

Jongdae looks around the van and sees nobody apart from the three of them. "U-uh nothing. I'm sorry I woke you up." he says as he scrambles back to his seat.

Kyungsoo rubs his eyes, "Jongdae are you sure?" 

Jongdae turns to give them a small smile, hoping that they will buy it. "Yeah I promise. I just thought I saw a bug or something on the chair. You know how I feel about bugs. but don't worry about it!"

Baekhyun is about to say something but Kyungsoo rests his hand on Baekhyun's shoulder and shakes his head slowly. Jongdae turns back and closes his eyes, relieved that they aren't pushing the subject. He's just glad that they're alone again.

I'm fine... perfectly fine. Everything will be fine as long as I have Luhan. I can do this. 

~

After dropping off Jongdae at the M dorm, Baekhyun and Kyungsoo run into their own dorm and make a beeline for the leader's room.

"Joonmyun, it's happening again!" Kyungsoo cries out as he hugs Joonmyun. 

Joonmyun is taken aback for a moment but starts to rub Kyungsoo's back, hoping to calm him down. "Shhh it's okay Kyungsoo. Everything will be alright!" he says but when he looks up and sees the sadness in Baekhyun's eyes he knows that everything is far from alright.

"I didn't want to believe when yixing and all told us yesterday but... this morning he said it got worse and and in the van..." Baekhyun quietly says as he blinks back tears.

Joonmyun moves over to try to give Baekhyun a hug but Baekhyun steps back. Sighing Joonmyun says, "You know what we have to do Baekhyun. It'll work, it always does." 

Baekhyun shakes his head furiously, "No.. not again. I know Jongdae can get over this... it's just the damn weather and this damn month and this damn song." he says angrily. He walks into the living room and continues, "Jongdae will be fine.... he's strong... stronger than before. If one of us is always there we can do this, we can take care of him... I, I can take care of him!"

Joonmyun sighs and leans his head on Kyungsoo's head. "alright. I won't tell manager hyung yet.. but we have to if it gets too much. We can't afford to let this happen ... not again."

Baekhyun nods his head and looks back at Joonmyun with tears in his eyes. "thank you, Joonmyunnie."

Joonmyun extends his arm out and this time Baekhyun grabs it and is pulled into a hug. "You know I'm always there for you guys... always." he says as he comforts his two vocalists. 

~

When Jongdae enters the M dorm, he is bombarded with questions as the rest of the M members start to make sure he's alright. Jongdae pushes his way through them, swearing that he would make Baekhyun pay for worrying everyone.

"Guys guys! I'm alright! you know me, and besides if I was that sick I could just ask yixing hyung to fix me up!" Jongdae says with a smile.

Kris looks at him quizzically, "What do you mean Jongdae?" 

"Well duh, that's yixing's power. What's the point of having it if he can't use it!" Jongdae says looking back at Kris, wondering why they are acting so stupid. "If I could zap away pain, I would but you know how my lightning power gets during this time of the year, it never works!"

The rest of the members stop moving and Minseok slowly puts his hand on Jongdae's shoulder. "Jongdae-ya what are you talking about?"

Jongdae looks at his hyung with a glare. "What are you guys talking about? Is this one of those jokes again because I don't find it funny at all. and besides Minseokiiee hyung can you please stop all this snow. You know I don't like it and it keeps snowing harder and harder!" 

Minseok let's Jongdae push past him, not sure what to say to the younger boy. Yixing manages to tell Jongdae that Luhan is in the bedroom and Jongdae goes off to find Luhan. When he pushes the door open, he smiles to see Luhan sitting on the bed and reading one of his novels.

Luhan glances up from the book and smiles when he sees Jongdae. "Hey you... I missed you!" he says with a smile. Jongdae sticks out his tongue and says, "Well some of us have a lot of schedule this week you know? unlike some people!"

Luhan laughs and gestures for Jongdae to get under the blankets with him. "Well don't worry I'll be joining you starting Christmas eve, cause we're finally going to promoting the mandarin version."

Jongdae pouts, "I still don't understand why you aren't singing with us this week. All four of us are the vocal line and besides I like your voice the best!" 

Luhan kisses Jongdae on the forehead, "Now stop being silly, we all know who's voice is the voice of an angel!"

Jongdae looks up at him suddenly serious, "No Luhannie.. I'm serious. I love your voice the most. I miss your voice when I don't hear it and I could listen to it all day long!"

Luhan a bit taken aback by the look in Jongdae's eyes just smiles, "Well someone's getting the best boyfriend of the year award! Are you sure you're not just being nice so that you get an awesome gift this Christmas?"

Jongdae bites his lip, "Well that too... I still dunno why you won't tell me what you got! It's making me nervous!"

Luhan just shakes his head and looks back at his book, "Tsk tsk tsk no patience... but I know you'll love it.... trust me." 

Jongdae sighs and relaxes into Luhan's arm. The blanket and the body heat is already doing wonders at warming up Jongdae and Jongdae wants nothing more than to just sit like this forever.

He closes his eyes and puts his hand on Luhan's chest, feeling for that familiar sound that is Luhan's heartbeat. He smiles when he feels it against his palm and he feels even calmer. However, he opens his eyes when he hears snickering and he opens them to see the two intruders from earlier now sitting in his room pointing and laughing at him.

Jongdae gulps as he hears them talk and looks over at Luhan to see if he can see them too. When Luhan doesn't look up from the book, Jongdae's heart sinks realizing that he's the only one that can see them. He tries to drown out their mocking commentary:

"Well don't they look so cute!"

"Too bad they're never going to last. We all know how this is going to end!" 

"Jongdae Jongdae JONGDAE JONGDAE!"

Jongdae puts his head underneath the blanket and brings his hands to cover his ears. "Please stop... stop it .. leave me alone!" he whispers furiously. He's trying so hard to shut them out that he doesn't even hear Luhan call out to him.

"Jongdae? jongdae baby what's wrong?" Luhan asks worried as he watches Jongdae desperately try to close his ears and body go rigid. It was like déjà vu all over again from the previous night and now Luhan was curious as to how often this happened.

"Baby... baby are you okay? listen to me.. you're okay .. shh you're fine!" he says pressing kisses into Jongdae's head. Jongdae doesn't respond and continues to squeeze his eyes shut. Luhan can feel Jongdae's heart beat go faster and faster and so he does what he always does when Jongdae is nervous or scared or angry, he sings.

He slowly starts off with their favorite lullaby and Luhan brings Jongdae closer to him, his back slowly. He's just about to finish the second verse when he feels Jongdae relax in his arms. He gulps but continues to sing and soon enough Jongdae is softly joining him. They continue to sing and Luhan feels Jongdae calm down and he slowly brings his hand to Jongdae's chin and pushes it up so he can see Jongdae. He is met with teary eyes and Luhan's heart breaks when he sees the confusion and pain in Jongdae's eyes. Luhan gives him a smile and slowly shakes his head, as if trying to say that nothing else is going to hurt him.

After the lullaby ends, they sit there in silence for a few minutes, just listening to each other breath in and out before Jongdae slowly says, "Luhannie.. can we sing Miracles in December.... in mandarin?"

Luhan lets out a small laugh before agreeing. "Alright... but I'm going to be on the lookout for bad pronunciation," he says as he squeezes Jongdae's shoulder.

Luhan starts out softly with his first line and he raises his eyebrows when he hears Jongdae join him. I guess he wants’ the both of us to sing everything Luhan thinks as he continues on to what should be Baekhyun's part. He stops when they get to Jongdae's part choosing to just harmonize with him at the endnotes. He's quite surprised at how great Jongdae's pronunciation has gotten. He definitely hadn't sounded like this when they had recorded the studio version. Luhan is so proud of Jongdae and he leans over to kiss him on the cheek to show his happiness. "You've gotten so good!" he whispers and Jongdae blushes before nudging Luhan to continue. 

Luhan laughs and continues to sing with Jongdae. They sing together for the rest of the song but Jongdae let’s Luhan sing his last two lines by himself.

“You sound beautiful by yourself,” Jongdae says when Luhan asks him why he had stopped singing.

They lie in bed for a couple more minutes before Luhan decides to bring up what was going on with Jongdae.

“Baby… what’s going on? Are you okay?” Luhan asks, brushing the stray hair away from Jongdae’s forehead. He seems Jongdae tense and he continues, “I know there’s something going on with you… so don’t lie okay? Just tell me please? You know I’ll always be there for you.”

Jongdae stays silent for a few seconds, fiddling with his fingers before he takes a deep breath. “Promise me that you won’t leave me?”

Luhan smiles, “I think I make that same promise to you everyday and today is no different. I promise I’ll be there forever.”

Jongdae takes another deep breath. “I… I’m starting to see people and hear things.”

Luhan frowns, “well yes I am glad that you aren’t going deaf or blind.”

Jongdae shakes his head, “No no I mean I’m the only one that can see them… no one else can and they’re not very nice.”

Luhan stops brushing away at Jongdae's bangs. He's shocked but he doesn't want to make Jongdae scared. "Well why aren't they nice? Are they here now?"

Jongdae looks over his shoulder slowly and breathes a sigh of relief. He turns back and shakily smiles at Luhan. "No... no they're gone right now."

"Why aren't they nice?"

"Because they keep bothering me and they tell me things... things I know that aren't true and and they keep trying to make me angry or sad. They want me to play with them and do these things but I don't want to so they don't leave me alone," Jongdae says quietly moving closer and closer to Luhan. 

Luhan is starting to feel scared, not for himself but for Jongdae. He curses himself for not asking sooner. This isn't sounding too good and there is no way that their company would let Jongdae continue if they heard this. He gulps slowly and hesitantly asks, "Ah okay? well that's okay. I'll make them go away for you... but Jongdae did you tell anyone else this? does anyone else know?"

Jongdae gazes up at him with hope filled eyes, "No I-I haven't told anyone yet. I think Baekhyun and Kyungsoo almost heard me but I think I convinced them otherwise!" 

Luhan sighs in relief, "Okay that's good. Don't tell anyone this yet okay? Let's just keep it between us, I'll take care of you for now!" he says as he hugs Jongdae closer to him, scared to let go.

Jongdae nuzzles into Luhan's neck. "Mhm okay hyung. I'll trust you... but Luhannie will you do me a favor and tell Minseokkie- hyung to stop making it snow so much?"

Luhan freezes again, not really understanding what Jongdae is saying. What is he talking about? Minseok making it snow? That's just his assigned power why would Jongdae think...

A thousand thoughts run through Luhan's head and Luhan squeezes his eyes closed as he tries to understand what Jongdae means. He finally decides to go along with it for the moment.

"ahh you mean cause that's his power?" he asks hesitantly. When Jongdae nods in agreement, Luhan's stomach turns as he realizes that Jongdae is falling farther from reality. "oh okay. I'll tell him but you I dunno if it'll work, you know how hard it is to control nature."

Jongdae sighs and purses his lips, "Alright fine, I guess his power also goes whack like mine during the winter. Maybe then hyung you can make the snow move away from us!" 

Luhan's eyes start tearing as he tries not to sound as bad as he's feeling. "Ah actually mine isn't all that great right now either Jongdae. I don't think anyone's power is working that well." he says voice slightly cracking.

Jongdae leans back to look at Luhan, "Hyung... I'm sorry ... Why are you crying? I didn't mean to make you sad."

Luhan blinks back tears and manages a small smile, "ah Jongdae it's not your fault, something just got in my eye. Don't worry about me. Hyung is alright." 

Jongdae smiles and wriggles back next to him. "Good because I don't know what I'd do without you Luhan-hyung."

Luhan hugs Jongdae even tighter, making the smaller boy squeal. "and I don't know what I'd do without you too," he says quietly. "But Jongdae do me a favor and don't ask anyone to use their power for a while... I don't think any of ours are working properly, just like you said yours wasn't."

Jongdae doesn't say anything but nods sleepily, before he closes his eyes and falls asleep in Luhan's arms. Luhan sighs as he Jongdae's hair. He can't be... he just can't. I need to protect him... stop him from telling the others because they'll take him away from me. I know they will. He... he's going to get better.. he has to get better.. I'll make him better.

Luhan stays up late into the night, holding Jongdae and praying and hoping for some sort of miracle. He'll be alright.. he has to be.