It's been almost 15 years since I last saw my parents in the front seat of their car. Each year that has passed things have gotten worse and worse for me; I developed depression and axiety at the age of 10, I lost my grandparents a few years ago and I don't have many relatives I can speak with because I was a mistake, a mistake that nobody wants to deal with. I'm an only child and I was quite lonely while I was growing up; even while I was growing up not many of my relatives wanted to talk to me. To this day I'm still alone. I have very few friends and most people don't bother talking to me; I feel extremely lonely in this dark world and my depression and axiety don't help. 

To try and get these things off my mind I decided to enroll in University but with all the negative things I went through in my life it's become a challenge to keep up with school. I began failing some of my classes and I can't get my grades back up; my life is spiraling out of control because of my parents death. 

I lay in my bed as the rays of the sun fall onto my sheets; it's Tuesday morning and I'm suppose to be getting up for class but nowadays I find it pointless going to class, how am I suppose to raise my grades if I have no motivation to do so or that I haven't been truly happy in 15 years. 

"Jonghyun, you've been skipping classes for the last week! Get out of bed before you're expelled" one of my roomates yell from the bathroom as he got ready for his classes. 

"Shut up Jinki, I don't care if I get expelled!" I yelled grabbing the ends of the sheets, pulling them over my head. 

"Jinki is right Jonghyun, you need to attend your classes" Key said as he jumped onto my bed pulling the sheets from my face. 

"I don't care, just leave me alone!" 

"Suit yourself, you're just making yourself fall even further and further behind in class" Onew yelled as he walked out the dorm room door along with Key, Minho, and Taemin. I was alone in the dorm again; I was use to being alone but I knew they were right, I needed to get out of bed and attend my classes. I slowly crawled out of bed and walk towards my closet and collected my school uniform - I eventually reach the bathroom, taking my time getting ready to head out for a depressing and boring day of classes. 

As I walk into the classroom all eyes fall onto me; it's been more than a week since I've been here. I look over at my seat and there seems to be a new girl sitting beside me, today just keeps getting better and better. As I settled down in my seat, the new girl kept sneaking glances of me, I ignore her as I look out the window. 

"So what's your name?" the new girl whispers to me 

"Why does it matter to you?" I question her taking my attention from the window to the annoying girl sitting beside me. 

"I was just trying to be nice..my name is Lee So Yeon"

"I don't care, I'm Kim Jonghyun if that means anything to you" I reply placing my head onto my desk paying no attention to the board or to the girl sitting beside me. I didn't feel like being here. I wish I was with my parents because I don't want to be in any pain anymore; it's slowly killing me as time goes by. 

"Uhmm, are you okay Jonghyun?" tapping me on the shoulder, looking somewhat concerned. 

"No, I haven't been okay since I was 8 years old. I've been like this for the last 15 years because..." 

"Because...?" she probed, leaning over.

"It's nothing.." I got up from my seat and rushed out of class before anyone can see the tears falling down my eyes, nothing I did made them stop falling from my eyes. There was one place I wanted to be and that was back in my dorm room under my sheets where I could just let everything out without worrying about what other people thought of me. 

I just wish I was with my parents again; pretty soon that just might happen.