Listen to MID while you're reading this. I would recommend Chinese ver cause I listen to it while reading this and I cried :))

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"Jongin-ah, I really really really wish that you are here right now. We all wish you're here right now. We miss you. I really miss you. I miss you to the point that it hurts. I want you. I always want you Jongin-ah. My feelings for you have never change. Its STILL YOU that holds the 1st place in my heart. It will be forever you. Remember when you said that if you're gone and you are going to come as a brand new man? Bronze tan skin? Can you make it fast? Make sure you ONLY change your skin color. I bet you'll look y in bronze.

Jongin-ah I h-have s-s-something to tell you. I-i cut myself. Because I feel bad about what happen to you. I hope you're not mad with me. Baek & Luhan hyung found out about this. They always check me to see if I cut myself anymore. I feel nothing but pain whenever I remember what you did. Honestly Jongin, I really hope that you didnt push me.

I dont have parents to cry over me when Im gone. I dont have anybody except for the dorks. And knowing you guys, I know you guys know that if Im gone, you wouldnt cry for me. You all know how I hate people feel sad for me.

Jongin-ah, your parents take good care of me. They always call me everyday to check up on me. I always feel guilty whenever they are being nice to me. They told me that, if the truck hit me and not y