Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

Being in love is wonderful. It changes you. It changes your life. So many people dream of finding their faithful one, hoping to feel what love really is. But for some, being in love is scary. Love is something that consumes you, breaks you apart or at some point, makes you to fall into the depths of sadness, pain, and regret.

For Hyukjae, that’s how he thinks what love is. If you never been in love, you’ll never feel a heartbreak; it’s simple, but that’s the fact that he’s been holding for years. He draws a line of not loving but instead only liking things, not creating any attachment to anyone.

And for that reason, here he finds himself standing far from a certain brunette, watching him while he chats with his friends. At some point when the latter laughs too much, his voice echoing around the room, Hyukjae would grin like an idiot but then again he’s not in love, not really.

Because Donghae is just his crush and nothing more than that.

But that’s not what his bestfriend, Cho Kyuhyun keeps on saying to him and it didn’t take some time before he hits him over the head, cutting the awesome moment he is having.

“Hyukjae, can you cut the crap out of it and just confess? You’re scaring me okay?”

This again, Hyukjae groans in his mind. He then continue to ignore him because there’s no way he’ll be confessing to Donghae when on the first place he doesn’t feel anything but ‘idolism’ for the latter. Can’t he just simply appreciate Donghae’s perfection like a fan and be contented with it because honestly, Hyukjae never felt so good doing this.

“Yah, what the hell are you smiling at?” Kyuhyun then once again, hit him on the head before glaring at him. “If you love him then tell him, and don’t hide here like a maniac giggling by yourself”

“I don’t love him okay?”

“Then why do you spend your time here in school fawning over him being a ‘perfect’ human being that he is, and don’t deny it, I saw you drooling over—“

“I said I really don’t—“

“No listen to me. You need to stop this. Take a step forward and be a man Hyukjae, it’s just a confession!”

“And then what? I’ll tell him that ‘Oh, Donghae, do you know me? I’m Hyukjae, your classmate who has been secretly watching you everyday in school…’ That. Do you want me to say that? Geez! Kyuhyun I don’t love him, I like him and that’s it.”

“Yeah, yeah. Tell me that again when you’re already crying because of him”

Hyukjae gives him a laugh, there’s no way he’ll be crying over Donghae. He’ll get over with this affection anyway, maybe soon.

Soon.

For Hyukjae, soon isn’t less than four years. He still likes Donghae and for some reason he’s starting to feel sad about it. He thinks maybe he’s just getting bored watching him everyday in class yet at some point, he still finds Donghae as a beautiful being. No, he’s gone more beautiful for years so Hyukjae doesn’t know why there’s something bugging him inside.

But then he shoves these thoughts on the back of his head.

As Kyuhyun, his best friend doesn’t say much about him taking a liking over the latter and instead focus on his newly found boyfriend, Sungmin. Not that he hates it, Sungmin is really a nice guy to him and seeing those two makes him happy too but still, Kyuhyun advises him to confess where Hyukjae only laughs at it because really, there’s nothing to confess.

Now that their graduation is nearing, he looks back on what had happened on his high school life, by doing this he feels sad once again. He don’t know but he finds everything boring like there’s something wrong with him or his life. Something is lacking, just like a puzzle piece that he can’t find.

Hyukjae don’t know what it is but he doesn’t mind to care because once high school is over, he’ll start everything in college. He thought so, yeah, he really thought so.

Just another day of their remaining school days, their teacher asked them to write a letter to whoever they want in their class. The letter should contain the name of the receiver and the things they wish to say to that person but of course, they may chose not to write their name for anonymousity.

Hyukjae then decided to write to his best friend but learning that Kyuhyun will dedicate his to his beloved pumpkin—eww Cho Kyuhyun, just eww—Hyukjae then gritted his teeth and slump his back on his chair because he just feel so betrayed. Right now, he don’t really have anyone to write to well except for Kyuhyun who easily forgot his best friend, how touching.

But then he thinks he doesn’t really need to write anything, it’s not like their teacher said it’s a must-to-do thing, it’s just something good to do when they’re now nearing to leave this school. So Hyukjae decided not to do anything, and just watch everybody while they’re giddy writing things to each other.

Accidentally, or not, Hyukjae got a glimpse of a frowning Donghae and he have to hit his head for finding it too adorable—and he just want to coo him for his cuteness. The attrative brunette sadly looks at his blank paper and it’s didn’t take a minute before Hyukjae realize that he is just like him.

And so he thought, just maybe he have someone to write to.

Hyukjae can’t help but to be embarrass as he read once again his finished letter . Who the hell would call someone you never talked to as ‘beautiful’, ‘cute’, and seriously, ‘an angel fallen from heaven with deep brown orbs that warmth my soul’? He could already hear Kyuhyun’s irritating laugh if he ever happen to read this letter of his.

Of course he wouldn’t be giving this to Donghae, well if he still want to have a face to show to others. So yeah, he wouldn’t be sending this to him and he wouldn’t let anyone to see this so he hide it in his bag—not when the crazy Kyuhyun snatch if from him of course.

“What the f—Kyuhyun! Give me that!” He stretch his arms to his but the younger won’t budge and started on opening it in Hyukjae’s horror.

“Ha! I know you’re going to write this and I’m giving it to—“

“YAH! CHO KYUHYUN!” Hyukjae shouted, taking the younger by force but he accidentally slip, making him to stupidly hit the floor.

He groan as the pain started on creeping from his shoulders to his head. Kyuhyun then apologetically touch him and ask if he was okay but he can’t answer nor utter any incoherent words because the pain is just too much for him to take.

And suddenly, arms started to slowly pull him to sit up, his voice hitch with the change of position. He was about to hit his best friend when a familiar face show in front of him, his orbs widening in shock because—is this even real?

“Oh my, are you okay?” Those caramel-like orbs stare at him with worry and he can’t help but to just look at it like a creeper that he is. He could see the other scolding Kyuhyun for his mistakes and then—and then—geez, he don’t know what the hell is happening! Like is this really really really real? Isn’t this a kind of joke or dream or maybe… he’s dead?

So this mean that he is in heaven.

Because there’s an angel in front of him who is holding him, protecting him from some sort of evil being—coughs Kyuhyun coughs—and he could see him up close like, this is even better than any 1080p movies.

“Hyukjae? Hyukjae! Are you okay?”

The angel even knows his name like, this is too much feels like can someone hold him—oh! He’s holding him but—but—but—the feels is just so—

And so everything turns black as Hyukjae faints with a creeper smile on his face.