Someday.

“Get out.”

His hand flew across my face swiftly, leaving a stinging pain on my cheek in its wake.

“I said get out!” he roared.

I had expected this much from him after hearing about my suspension so nothing was out of the ordinary. In fact, he was always like this.

I looked up at him, into those eyes widened with rage, blazing with anger and disdain just by looking at me. His ears were lit up a bright red and I could see him clenching his jaw tightly, as if he was holding himself back.

“Suspended? Suspended?” The room was filled with his senseless laughter as the older man struggled to grasp onto what seemed like his sanity. “Do you want to get expelled? Do you like getting expelled that much?!”

I only stood in front of him and remained silent, as usual, with my hands in my pockets and nothing to say.

“You know what?” dad said, leaning in closer to my face, so close that I could see his facial stubs. “I don’t care if you go to school or not anymore. I don’t care if you get suspended again. I don’t ing care if you get expelled or not!” His voice grew louder and louder with each word, booming into my ears. “I just want you to leave. Go. Get the hell out!”

I didn’t budge. Those were the words I’ve been hearing for half of my life. The other half was nothing. If they weren’t yelling at me then they wouldn’t be talking to me at all.

“Didn’t you hear me?” He pointed a shaky finger towards the door. “Get out!”

I glanced at Jungmin, the brother I’ve always looked up to, the brother that they’ve always centered their entire lives around. He met my eyes for a mere second and then turned away, raking a hand through his hair and sighing to himself.

“Not again.” That was what he must’ve been thinking.

I turned to mum, hoping that she’d find the courage somewhere in her to just step up and say something, anything to back me up. Seconds ticked by. Nothing. I went back to Jungmin. Still nothing.

“Listen here, you little !” Before I knew it, dad pulled me up by the collar, his eyes piercing straight into mine. “How many times do I have to tell you for you to understand? Get the hell o –“

“I get it.” I broke off his grip, returning his look with a cold glare. “I’m going.”

Without looking back, I left the house and slammed the door behind me. Before I knew it, another night had passed, just like any other and still, nothing has changed.

❄

“Are you ready?”

“Who do you think I am?”

“Kang Nam’s strongest, smartest, awesomest, iest –“

I made a face. “Don’t push it, .”

“Okay then, bye!” he bolted off at full speed, waving as he went. “Take care, Kai!”

“That little …” I sighed, watching Taemin trip over the crack in the pavement as he ran for his life, getting further and further away from the school gate.

Taemin was known as the pretty boy in school and also the asswipe who labeled himself as my ‘friend’. He had this bad habit of stealing other guy’s girlfriends, which usually ended up with him getting beaten the crap out of.

This time was no different. I was left once again to deal with the aftermath of what his little flirty had gotten into.

No sooner had I taken a step forward, a hand gripped my shoulder and pulled me back.

“Jongin.”

My body went slightly rigid for a second as I turned around, clashing with the other’s eyes. “Didn’t I tell you not to call me that?”

The girl looked back at me with cold eyes, devoid of any emotion. “Where are you going?”

Park Hana. The girl I’ve known since we were babies. Her trademark eyes were what made me think she was a when I first saw her. I was right. She has the worst attitude a girl could possibly have; she was stubborn, too damn arrogant for her own good and also incapable of portraying any emotions whatsoever and under all that complicated personality, she was a complete busybody.

I swung my arm back and broke off her grip, cutting her a glare. “Mind your own business.”

She seized my wrist, piercing her eyes straight into mine. “I can’t keep standing on the sidelines while you’re out there doing stupid things like this.”

I grabbed her hand and yanked it off mine, staring back at her. “I told you to mind your own ing business.”

As if he detected the aura of a girl, Taemin came dashing back and smirked as soon as he saw Hana. He leant in closer and wriggled his eyebrows, holding up her chin with a hand. “Ooh, and who might this be?”

“Don’t touch me, .” “Don’t touch her, .”

I gave him a give to a kick to the shin while Hana simultaneously whacked his hand away from her face. Taemin yelped out in pain and gripped his shin, maintaining his balance by hopping on his other leg.

“Yeow! What’s up with you?!” he cried. “I thought you weren’t interested!”

I held back the urge to punch his face. “Go.”

“Alright, I’m going!” Taemin quickly recovered and was on his way again to prevent himself from getting any more injuries.

“Did something happen?” Hana asked.

I turned away. “Nothing did.”

“You fought with ahjusshi again, didn’t you?”

“You –“ I cut her a glare, clashing once again with her gaze. I paused, unable to say anything else. I hated how she had that look. I hated how she could see right through me. I hated how I couldn’t possibly bring myself to hate her.

“Anger won’t solve anything. Beating up people won’t solve anything.” Her eyes softened. “Don’t do this, Jongin.”

You’re right. It won’t solve anything at all. I would’ve preferred to let Taemin’s screwed up head get beaten some sense into but all the unresolved anger from last night didn’t seem to fly away so easily.

“Shut up…” I managed to mutter before tearing away from her gaze and walking off.

“You’re an idiot, Jongin.” I heard her sigh as I walked away.

I know. I know I am.

❄

“Kai…” the taller, buffer guy snarled. Over a dozen of his lackeys stood behind him in a messy row, wearing on what seemed to be threatening faces.

 “Where’s Taemin?” the familiar voice barked, raking a hand through his styled blonde hair in frustration.

“He died.” I replied, already regretting coming here tonight instead of leaving Taemin for dead.

“Don’t lie, you little ,” he spat, sounding so similar to a certain someone that it began to tick me off. “Where the hell is he?!”

Lee Jinki. Hwang Nam’s (the second strongest school in the district) leader and also my brother’s friend. It became ex-friend after Jinki became too mentally screwed up for my brother to handle. He also went by the name Onew. Despite the stupid name, he was known for singlehandedly sending a total of fifteen guys from a rivaling school to the hospital the last time Hwang Nam high was challenged. That dog Taemin decided to snatch the food from the wrong person.

“Shut up,” I said, cracking my fists. “It’s just me today.”

Jinki howled with laughter, accompanied by his cronies’ background snickers.

“Wanting to get beat up instead of your friend, now, are you?” He smirked. “How sweet of you, Kai.”

“Thank you.”

“You have a lot of free time, don’t you?” Jinki continued. “Why don’t you run along home back to your mummy and daddy and let us deal with your little -face friend?”

My body went rigid at his words. “And why don’t you run along and go yourself?” I retorted.

“You’re screwed tonight, er.” Jinki said, after a minute of taking in the fact that someone dared to tell the leader of Hwang Nam’s gang to ‘go himself’. “I was planning to be nice to you but you should’ve just stayed out of this like a good little boy.”

No sooner had he said that, his gang flung themselves at me, screaming and yelling out as they went.

The great thing about Hwang Nam’s gang is that they fight barehanded which is good for me because if they had weapons, I’d pretty much be screwed. Thanking my lucky stars, I weaved past person after person, attacking and receiving my share of blows. By the time I reached Jinki, who just watched from the sidelines with an evil grin on his face, I had copped the majority of the gang’s punches and kicks already.

“Tired already?” he asked mockingly. His eyes narrowed onto mine. “Didn’t know you were that weak, Kim Jongin.”

In a flash, I had his collar in my hand and his eyes locked in a glare. “Don’t call me that, .”

Jinki smiled. “Oh, what a look. Are you still being the little rebellious son you are, Jongin?”

I gripped his collar tighter.

“Is mummy and daddy still ignoring you, Jongin?”

I clenched my other fist.

Jinki’s smile changed into a smirk. “Are you still nothing but dirt to them, Jongin?”

My fist flew across Jinki’s face in less than a second as I let go of his collar, breathing heavily as Jinki fell to the ground, the anger from before came flying back into me and making its way to my head.

“What a punch!” Jinki said, almost laughing as he rubbed the side of his face. “Are you angry, Jongin? Angry at what I said?”

I continued to look down at him, feeling my head spin. The blows from before were finally setting themselves into my body. Before I knew it, Jinki had recovered and shot up, sending me flying back with a side-kick to the stomach.

I landed on the ground with a sickly thud, feeling too light-headed to be able to get up. All I could do was flop around on the ground as Jinki made his way towards me.

“It seems that you’ve forgotten who I am.” He pulled me up by the collar. “I am Hwang Nam’s Onew. You can’t leave this fight without a few broken bones, Jongin.”

I grabbed his wrist, yanking it off. “I told you not to call me that.”

“But why? You are Kim Jongin. You will always be Kim Jongin.” He sneered.

“I’ll kill you.”

“Oh really?” He stepped back and kicked me. Once to the stomach. Then to the side, then to my lower body. Again and again and again. His kicks were so strong that after each blow, I felt numb and wouldn’t be able to move.

“You think you’re all that, huh?” He pulled me up by the collar again and threw a punch at me. “You think you’re so great, huh, Kim Jongin?” Another punch flew across my face. “Kim Jongin, the weak little boy!”

Then another. “Kim Jongin, who starves for his parents’ attention!”

Then another. “Kim Jongin, who is nothing compared to his brother!”

Then another. “Kim Jongin, who is better seen as dead in his own home!”

The last sentence got me up again, returning all his earlier attacks with a hook to the face. “Don’t talk like you know me!” I growled.

Jinki wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, smirking. “But I do know you, Jongin. I know everything about you.”

I took a step back. This guy was seriously too ed up to handle. I could see why Jungmin wanted to moved schools so badly now.

Jinki’s eyes suddenly shifted for a split second and then went back to mine. His grin crept back on his face and widened. “I heard you had a little girlfriend at school.” I paused. “Since you’re going to kill yourself anyway, might as well let me have her, huh?”

The heat rose to my head and everything that I was holding back up until now, all rushed out as I heard something snap.

Jinki was pinned to the ground in a flash; I had one hand holding up his collar and the other flew across his face. I punched him again, and again, and again, until I couldn’t feel my hand anymore, until I begun to lose myself in my own thoughts of killing the guy. With every punch, he continued to crookedly smile with that somewhat evil glint in his eye.

I didn’t know what it meant until it was too late.

The high-pitched ‘tweet’ brought me back to reality. Before I could even turn around to inspect the noise, a hand roughly grabbed the back of my shirt and pulled me up and away from Jinki.

As my eyes met the other’s, all of my thoughts ran off, including the one about killing Jinki and the only thing that could process in my brain during that time was the word ‘’.

“I’m afraid you’re going to have to come down to the station with me, young man.”

❄

“Just make sure he doesn’t do it again, okay?”

“Thank you for understanding, officer.”

Dad walked out of the police station as I silently followed from behind. I slightly flinched as a cold sensation made its way down and melted as soon as it made contact with my skin. Dad suddenly stopped and I did too, before I could bump into him. We stood there for a couple minutes with neither side uttering a single word.

I took the initiative to break the slience. “App –“

“Don’t you dare call me that.”

I stopped.

He turned around, more angered than usual to the point I took a step back.

“Don’t you ing dare call me ‘dad’!” He screamed, loud enough for half the world to hear. I flinched, instinctively bring my hands to my ears. “I don’t have a son like you!”

He marched closer to me and held me up by the collar. “What did I do to deserve this? What did I do wrong in raising you? What did I do? Tell me what did I do?!”

Nothing. That’s what you did.

He continued to shake me violently. “Why the are you like this?!”

Because of you.

“Why can’t you be like Jungmin?!”

I froze and looked up at him, into his eyes. I could see everything but ‘me’. In his eyes, I never saw ‘me’.

With a final glare that made the words jammed in my throat, he let go of me with a grunt, pushing me back so hard that I fell to the ground. He then turned around and walked off without looking back.

“Don’t come back home. I don’t need a son like you.”

I picked myself up after he was gone and dusted the dirt off myself. I shouldn’t think too much. He was always like this. I looked to the sky and let out a hand, feeling the tiny snowflakes touch my palm and my face. The little specks of cold were refreshing in a way.

“…Why can’t things just be normal between us?” I quietly asked myself, closing my eyes to feel an abnormally strong, icy wind sweep past.

“Is that your wish?”

My eyes snapped open and I jerked up, hearing the sudden voice that sounded so nearby. I turned to see a girl standing in front of me. She had long white, waist-length hair that flowed freely in the wind, very pale skin and the bluest eyes that shone like jewels. The girl wore a simple white dress and was standing barefooted on the ground which was showered with white specks of snow.

“Is that your wish?” she repeated, cocking her head.

I arched a brow, not really knowing what to say.

“You can tell me,” she insisted, her eyes widened enthusiastically along with a smile. “I am here to serve you after all.”

I narrowed my eyes at her, feeling more weirded out than scared. “And what exactly are you?”

“A snowflake.”

I made a face. “Snowflakes don’t talk.”

“They do,” she closed her eyes and faced the sky, smiling as a speck of white touched her face. “You just never hear them.”

Feeling stupid for talking to someone who thought they were a snowflake, I heaved a sigh and walked off.

“Wait, don’t go!”

I halted when I felt a sudden chill enter into me. I looked back to see the girl holding onto my arm. I shook her off and stared back at her, wondering how she managed to make me feel the sheer cold even through my clothes.

“You… what are you?” I found myself asking again, wide-eyed.

Her blue eyes glimmered in the light. “I’m a snowflake.”

“Hey look, what’s up with that guy?”

“Why’s he talking to himself?”

I looked up at the two people walking passed me from a distance and furrowed my brow in confusion.

“Crap, he saw! Let’s go!”

I turned back to the girl. “Don’t talk to me.” With that, I whisked around and bolted.

I must be going crazy. Maybe the late nights really were getting to me.

“Wait!”

I glanced back. Crap, she was still following me.

Before I knew it, I was in front of my house, hunched over with my palms on my knees, panting from exhaustion and cursing my body at how unfit it was.

“Why did you run away?” the girl asked, standing beside me.

“Why are you still here?” I flung back.

“It’s my duty to serve you, Master!” she answered.

 I stood upright, giving her a look. “Did you just call me master?”

“Yes, Master.”

I sighed, feeling my mind mentally break down from exhaustion. “What do you want from me?”

“That’s not right,” she said. “It’s what you want from me.”

“What…?”

“Snowflakes are only summoned to the weak at heart,” she offered a smile. “In other words, I’m here to make you happy.”

I almost laughed. “The weak at heart? You must be kidding me.”

“You may not see it but you are. A human’s heart is very weak after all.”

I walked around the house to my bedroom window and she followed me closely behind. “What’s your name?” I asked, feeling the rail of the window and trying to open it as quietly as I can to avoid attracting attention from Jungmin’s still-lit room beside me. Do snowflakes even have names?

“I don’t have a name,” she replied. “What are you doing?”

“I thought so…” I murmured to myself, pushing the window softly for it to open. “I usually leave my window like this to come in and sleep at night.” I hopped on the sill and jumped through. Turning around, I extended a hand down to the unnamed snowflake who was looking up at me with curious eyes. “How about Sull-Hee? It suits you.”

She thought for a moment then grinned. “It sounds nice.”

The two of us froze as the window beside ours slid open.

“Where’s Jongin?”

“Does it matter?”

It was Jungmin and dad.

Sull-Hee titled her head. “Master…?”

“You’re too harsh on him sometimes, appa.”

“And you are too soft on him.” I heard dad reply, anger still laced in his voice. “It won’t do his good-for-nothing self any better.”

There was a pause.

“That boy is a lost case. He has no future anymore, Jungmin.” The tone in his voice changed. “I have all my hopes resting in you, my son. You’re my only hope now.”

His words came at me like a bucket of cold water.

“Come on. You should get to sleep.” Dad said ever so gently, the softest I’ve ever heard him talk. “Late nights are bad for your health.”

With that, the window was pulled down and closed with a heavy click. His words were burnt deep into my mind, like they always do, then the same thoughts would click in with his words.

Someday, I’ll make you see.

Someday, I’ll catch up to him.

Someday, I’ll reach to where he is.

“What do you wish for, Master?”

I looked down at her as she gazed up at me, her eyes twinkling like two stars.

And someday…

“People like me don’t have wishes.”

…I’ll surpass him more than you can ever imagine I would.

“Nonsense.” She looked up and her blue eyes met mine, as if she pierced right into my thoughts.

“Everyone has wishes.”

❄

10th December

I met Master today.

He gave me the name ‘Sull-Hee’. I really like that name.

I’ve been around humans for so long but this was the first time I’ve seen someone like him. He isn’t like other people. He’s different.

One thing I’ve come to learn about Master is that he is someone who holds a lot of pain inside.

I hope I’ll get to know him even more.

I have a feeling that this is going to be a very memorable story. One that I hope I won’t forget, even when the ‘End’ comes.

I must find a way to make Master smile before that time though. I will use everything in my strength to do so. That is my job after all.

It’ll be hard, but I’ll manage.

I hope I’ll be able to make him happy.