J-Hope - 100 Emotions: Holding
The BTS One Shot CollectionShe looked at him again as he bounced away from her after their greeting hug. The bright smile plastered on his face was still there but… yes, she definitely saw something else in his eyes.
"Hoseok…" She began, only to be cut off by a rant from him.
"Hey, so what would you like to do? I was thinking we could watch something, although now I’m kinda hungry. Are you hungry? I can make us something if you are. I look quite y while I’m cooking, you know."
He winked at her, grinning like a fool, waiting for her reaction. Normally she would have laughed, would have poked him and said something like ‘oh, is that so?’ and then the two of them would have had a tickle fight into the kitchen. This time she didn’t.
Despite his cheerful tone and happy grin she knew him. Even if she didn’t there was no way someone would smile like this after what happened. There was just no way…
Maybe it’s a coping mechanism, she thought. Maybe I shouldn’t call him out on it. She had to though. His smile wavered a moment in the long silence and she knew she needed to confront him.
"Not hungry?" Hoseok asked, clapping his hands in a disappointed manner. "Oh well, we can just watch something then. I’m in the mood for some… action!" He posed in a silly way and for a moment she almost believed he was okay. Yet she knew he wasn’t.
"Hoseok?"
"Yes, my baby, at your service!" He bounded back to her from where he had started heading towards the dvd collection. Normally she giggled at his English when he called her ‘my baby’ but this time it only sounded like a way to divert her attention.
"You know… it’s okay not to smile all the time." She felt silly for the way she worded it, comforting people had never been her strong point.
His smile faltered again, if only for a moment. Then his grin widened; overly much, she thought.. “What do you mean? How can I not smile when I’m with my lovely girlfriend?” He poked her lightly in the ribs, laughing. The sound was off, somehow.
"You don’t have to do this, Hobie…" She said, shying away from his hand. "I… I love your smile and I love it when you’re happy but… you don’t always have to be. I mean, no one is always happy and… I love you best when you’re being you. I love you when you’re honest, too, so don’t… don’t hide in front of me, okay?"
She looked him in the eyes as she spoke, hoping he understood. Hoping he’d let down that wall of happiness he was now clearly trying desperately to hold up.
"I don’t… know what you mean, jagi. Ah, maybe my ninja powers accidentally activated and so I was hiding?" His laugh was far more forced now than it had been before. Yet he refused to let the wall down and it made her angry.
"Stop it, Hoseok! Just stop it! It’s okay to be sad! It’s okay with me. Especially with me! So just… be yourself when you’re with me, please. Even if the current you isn’t smiling I won’t love you any less. So please, stop forcing yourself!"
His smile faded more with every word until he was looking back at her, the full brokenness of his current emotions showing at last on his face.
"I just… wanted you to have fun on our date…" He muttered, looking down now. "I didn’t want to bother you with my problems."
"Hobie…" She pulled him into a hug, his hair and whispering: "I want to share your problems, too, not just your smiles. That’s what I’m here for. To help you feel better by sharing your burden."
As she spoke she felt him begin to shake slightly. Soon a tear fell on her shoulder and his arms hugged her tighter.
"I just… miss him… so much…" Hoseok sobbed into her hair as she his.
Silently she held him as he finally let it out and just cried in his girlfriend’s arms. It really did feel better, he thought afterwards. Sharing your burden with someone. He was also glad because now he knew he didn’t have to smile all the time. Being sad was okay too.
A/N: We're doing a thing where we write shorts using only this list of 100 emotions for prompts at imagine-bts and here's my first one. Pow!
Basically I was watching this drama where this always super hyper dude was really sad one time but he pretended to be his usual hyperactive self and only the girl who liked him noticed what was really wrong and somehow that made me think of Hobie being crazy hyper and yeah this story happened.
Hope you guys enjoy ^^
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