A/N: I have no words to apologize you … I kind of abandoned this fic nearly a month … since I was busy finishing my other fic and well,

I admit I was lazy too … I think this update will make you a little confused but please wait patiently … I’ll explain bit by bit in next

chaps … ^^ hope you enjoy and leave me some comments…. <3

I dedicated this chapter to Flo unnie and chaphy … ! <3

The last whole week was literally spent in his apartment, even not going out once for grocery. He had just survived with ramen and

although he was quite fed up with that, he still did not dare to go out, thinking that he would surely bump into Eric again.

After leaving a few notes of Won and a quite rude “Thanks” note on the other’s door, he could not help but felt a bit dying inside for his

action. Eric helped him and all he got back was a note with cold words. However, he was keeping convincing himself not to let his guard

down due to nice treatments from his neighbor. And there was one thing that made him feel how he had started to put his guard down

towards Eric.

He had smiled.

He had smiled because of nice words and cheerful action from Eric in the elevator that day.

He had smiled because of a man and it was the first time in many years.

And he noticed he had already given him a handmade present, the action he had never done to a guy in years.

And it scared him to no end.

Because he had felt the wall he had built in all these years starting to weaken gradually just by a cheerful smile from Eric.

It was not a good sign for him. He had become easy again to be convinced and weak again to give his trust to a stranger.

Yes. Eric was a stranger to him.

He kept mumbling it to himself in all these days, trying to erase his guilty feeling towards the other. After that “smiling” incident in the

elevator, he had realized what he had done in a second and could not help but got tense immediately. He had been afraid that Eric would

think he was an easy one to approach or get close. And that though had kept haunting him the whole night, earning another sleepless

night. That was the reason of him placing the money and the note in front of 1201 in the early morning.

He must cut down all the possible contact with Eric from now on. Even if he had to act like a bad rude guy.

At least, the other would get mad and not try again to help him but just ignore him. That was what he was expecting. And at the

moment, his plan seemed to work since after that incident, Eric had never come to the front of his door.

Then, he restrained himself to go out to avoid the unnecessary bumping into Eric because he did not want to face the awkward situation

anymore. He was the one with guilt, he understood. So, he had decided not to show his presence in front of the other, giving him time

to forget his existence.

To his dismay, his nightmares were also coming back again in these days, maybe due to too much stimuli around his surrounding.

Especially, Eric.

To be honest, Eric had not done anything wrong to him but still, his appearance and built alone was digging his buried memories which

was not good for him at all. His nightmares were not as intense as the ones from years ago but they still had an effect on him to wake

him up in the middle of sleep with sweat-covered body and pants.

Before Eric, no one had given him a second glance due to his weird living style and cold attitude. They might get curious about him at

first but after receiving his cold shoulder, they never turned their heads back again to him, ignoring him like an invisible one.

But Eric was different.

Despite of his weird actions since their first meeting, he had never given up to approach him and help him. He had never failed to give

him a smile to which he almost never replied. He even had looked for him in the emergency situation.

Maybe that was why his heart got a little soft to that man in a short time. He understood he should not be like that. He should have

learnt his lesson already.

He could not help but he must never let down his guard towards other people throughout his life. However he must feel apologetic to

others’ good actions towards him, he must not involve with people for his safety. He could not risk his life again. He could not afford

another chance for his life. Call him a coward and he did not care. Since only he knew what he had been through and to how long he had

been struggling in living hell, he could not care anything else.

His thoughts kept wondering although he was sitting in front of the TV and soullessly pushing the buttons on the remote control, making

the channels change one after another without giving a glance to them.

Then, his stare shifted to the digital clock on the table and noticed it was already 7 in the evening. He should stop thinking and if not, he

would surely dig those unwanted memories again and make himself suffer in the past. After being alarmed by his growling stomach, he

decided to eat and carried his legs to the kitchen to cook some ramen as usual. But unfortunately, opening the cupboard, he found the

empty space screaming out loud the lack of instant ramen packs. Letting out the annoyed groan, he tried his luck again, opening the

fridge to find something. And only water bottles and a pack of cheese that was over the expiration date welcomed him in a mocking

way.

Well. Finally, he had to wake up from hibernation in his apartment and go out for his food supplies.

It was already late so he hoped that he could not bump into his neighbor. He would walk to the supermarket fast and grab a few packets

so all time he would need was a few minutes.

After arming himself with a cap, a mask and his hoodie, he went out of his apartment, silently taking the elevator and even

automatically held his breath when the elevator’s door opened at the lobby, being afraid of seeing the owner of 1201 in front of the

elevator door. Luckily, only the sight of the empty lobby appeared in front of him, making him sigh with relief.

Then, as he had planned, he nearly ran to the mart and grabbed ramen packets randomly before paying the bill and heading back to the

building. He took only a few minutes and he entered the elevator again, holding firmly the plastic bag containing ramen packs with

satisfaction as everything went well according to his plan.

At least that was what he thought until an arm appeared between the closing doors of the elevator, making the doors open again. There,

he found the man who was the last person he wanted to see at the moment, standing in his training suit with sweats all over his face.

Eric also seemed to be shocked to see him in the elevator again but he was not dumbfounded enough to let the doors close again.

Despite of all of his prayers, Eric entered the elevator, standing beside him after punching his floor button. The atmosphere got really

tense and awkward and he only wished to see the digital number turning into 11 which meant to arrive his floor in a flash.

“I didn’t see you in these days … How are you?”

Eric’s voice nearly made him jump out of shock and he even held his breath, without looking at the one questioning him. At the same

time, he was hesitating if he should answer back or should just stay still, acting like deaf.

“Ah … I forgot … We’re strangers after all … You don’t need to answer me …”

 He did not know if the other was intending or not but the word “strangers” left him an indefinable sting in his chest. Although he did not

find any tone of mockery in the other’s voice, he felt like he was being stabbed back by his own words.

“I’m fine …”

Without himself knowing, those words went out from his lips in the form of a mere whisper. Nonetheless, Eric seemed to be able to

catch them according to his low sigh after his words. Then, the silence wrapped them again and fortunately, it was only a few seconds

before reaching his floor.

The “Ding” sound saved him from the suffocation of awkwardness between them and he even nearly jumped out of the metal box

without looking back to the one being left in the elevator. Taking quick steps to his apartment door, he tried to punch in his passcode

until he sensed the presence of someone behind him.

“Hyesung-shi … Can you give me time?”

Being already tensed with the presence of a person in silence, he nearly had a heart attack, hearing Eric’s low voice from behind. He

breathed in strongly before turning his body back to the other, his eyes still fixed on the ground.

“Don’t you think we have things to clear up?”

He took that question as a rhetorical one and kept silent without bothering to answer. But he could feel the sweat rolling along his spine

and his mind was already running in the speed of light, finding the solution how to avoid Eric and enter his apartment in peace.

“I don’t know about you … but I really can’t understand the situation … between us … and I can’t stand it anymore …. It’s annoying me

like hell the whole past week …”

Sensing the frustrated voice from the other, he slowly lifted his eyes from the cement floor to the person in front of him. There was

actually not a frustrated expression on Eric’s face but he must admit the other’s serious face made him mute automatically.

“Yes … We’re strangers … There’s no reason I should care about you … Nothing at all … and the way you replied my help last time is

enough for me to get mad at you and ignore you … like you never exited …. But …”

Gulping down hard while his eyes still fixed on the man before him, he tightened the grasp to the plastic bag, causing his knuckles almost

being white. He could feel his heartbeats getting faster and more sweat forming in his forehead when Eric came a step closer to his

direction.

“But … I can’t ignore you … I can’t drive away all the questions from my head … What’s wrong with me? Or what’s wrong with you? Do I

look like a bad person to you? I thought we got a little closer when I got that phone strap from you .. but again … you drifted away again

… without a reason … Seriously what’s happening between us? Can you just enlighten me … please?”

 Letting all those words breathlessly, Eric subconsciously stepped closer towards him and he found himself backing off slowly until his back

hit the cold wall beside his door. His heartbeats became irregular and his sight started to blur at the same time. Staring blankly at the

two deep orbs that were just a few centimeters away from his face, images started to flash again in his mind and that was when he

knew he was nearly out of control.

“Please … Eric-shi … Please …”

Then, he could not hear anything although he saw Eric’s lips moving. He started feeling dizzy and everything around him started to spin

around. He closed his eyes abruptly, trying to make himself a bit calm. He could not feel any energy left in his knees and also in his arms.

Then, he felt two hands shaking his shoulders gently and when he opened his eyes slowly, the blurry image of a familiar face appeared.

The face that he wanted to erase from his memories forever.

That guy was even smirking before his lips and whispering in a low voice.

“Sungie-ah … Don’t be afraid … You’ll also enjoy it later too …”

He tried to shake his head slowly, protesting the other’s action but to no avail.

“Hyung … Please … Don’t … Please …”

And then everything went dark …