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Hyunsik arrived in a rush. He met Jongin halfway, in a spot that lay on the very edge of the built up area of the retreat.

He was quick to force the tablets down Kyungsoo's throat; he wasn't functioning well enough to do so himself.  Jongin had kept him alive, keeping him warm, and making sure that he was conscious. In those brief moments when the diseased would slip, the tanned wouldn't hesitate in putting those Freshman lessons on resuscitation to good use. He was an amateur, but each and every time, it worked. He also had a bottle of asprin in his jacket pocket. His stress made it nescessary to always have an asprin on hand. 

"I told him. I told him he shouldn't have gone out. I knew it was dangerous. Thank god you were there, he could've died out there. Alone," Hyunsik bawled, his hands shaking as he worked on lowering Kyungoo's rapidly beating heart, and his burning temperature. Jongin realised that he was exactly correct. Kyungsoo could've died if he wasn't there. He would've died. He looked down at the poor boy, wanting nothing more than to take him in his arms and hold him until the end of time. Jongin felt so abnormal. He was still coming to terms with the fact that in a matter of days, he made an actual, valuable friend, and managed to develop feelings for someone. Real romantic feelings. 

Kyungsoo's breathing was on the steady path to regulation. His skin was less pale, but he looked considerably less sickly. There was nothing more that either of them could do. 

"Dr. Kim, Kyungsoo's doctor, gave me those orders. Once you've done that, all you can do is wait. Then it turns into this waiting game. Will he, or won't he live? It ..." Hyunsik confided. Jongin's face paled considerably. Waiting game? He didn't want to wait. He wanted to know immediately that the doe-eyed boy was okay. I knew that emotions were poisonous. There's happiness, but it always gets ripped away by pain. How could I allow myself to succumb to the most despicably human thing there is?

But there was no escape, for once one gets a taste of emotion in the way that Jongin did, turning back is no longer an option. 

The throwing up came, as it did the time before. And, just like before, the moment passed. Kyungsoo lay frail in Jongin's arms, his arms loosely hanging around the latters neck. He was tired; it was a side-effect of the episodes. 

"Take me back to the room..." Kyungsoo barely whispered. Jongin scooped him up into his arms, and motioned for Hyunsik to lead the way. Holding him in his arms, Jongin could feel the way Kyungsoo's body trembled. It was too slight to be seen by the eye, but when felt, it was unmistakeable. With each slight tremor, Kyungsoo was breaking. Like tiny hits from a woodpeckers beak, slowly breaking into Kyungsoo's body. Slowly, he was being torn apart, taken to pieces. With every episode, he was one step closer.

Laying Kyungsoo onto his bed, Jongin wasn't so sure we wanted to leave.

"He won't be alone, you know. I'll be metres away from him at all times," Hyunsik had reasoned, but Jongin just wasn't prepared to leave. After seeing someone so pure in a state like that, there was no way he could let him out of his sight. He grabbed his phone and texted Kris that he would be staying at a friend's room, before crawling into bed behing Kyungsoo, and holding him close. 

Is this what it feels like? To like people? I'm a socially inexperienced mess, and I know nothing about the complexities of human emotion. But there is one thing of which I am certain. There is no longer any 90% chance that I like you, Do Kyungsoo. It's undeniable, irrevocable, and it'll most likely kill me, but I'm more than certain that I love you. I want to save myself, but I'm too far gone. I want to protect myself from the emotional beating I'll get when the butterfly takes it's bite, but no matter what, I can't leave. 

Is this what love is? If so, then it truly is the most horrifically flawed of all of the human emotions. 

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Kyungsoo woke up to the feeling of a steady heartbeat at his back, and long, secure arms wrapped tightly around his waist. 

There was a head, buried in the crook of his neck, and his legs were tangled into someone elses. He would've settled into a state of complete panic, if it weren't for the stark familiarity of it all. He inhaled, and smelt the familiar dusty scent that followed Jongin wherever he went. He turned over and looked at the sleeping face in front of him, studying it with his eyes. He brought his hands up to meet the subject of his inspection. He traced the lines and contours that made up his face. He memorised ever curve and dip, every shape. He commited every single colour to memory, for Jongin was the only thing that shone with such vibrancy.

He was startled when Jongin's eyes opened, but his gasp melted into a smile. Jongin looked exceptionally wonderful in the mornings, with his heavy eyes and messed up hair, he looked like he'd appeared from a manga. His eyes were kind, something still so incredulously foreign to Kyungsoo. But their gazes were equally happy and unsure, so there was nothing to worry about, really.

"Morning, sunshine," Jongin whispered. 

"Morning," Kyungsoo replied.

"So, have you reconsidered my offer?" Jongin asked. Even if it was early, he still desperately wanted to know. He would need time to recover, if he received a rejection. If the answer was yes, he would be clawing back every moment to have more time with him.

"I...haven't had time, Jongin. You see, I kind of almost died. And since then, I've been sleeping. So...."

"Is this a yes, a no, or a maybe?" There was a pregnant pause floating in the air. The words chosen next would be important. They would be the dealbreakers to everything.

"Jongin...if I commit to you, you're going to be left hanging. You'll be given something that just might be beautiful, only to have it ripped away. They say that pain is worse when it follows euphoric happiness. How are you ever going to be okay again? I want you. I want you so bad, Jongin. I've watched you on stage for so long, and without you even saying a word, I've gone just a little insane inside. I need to be careful, because I just might say yes. And if I say yes, I'll be being so incredibly selfish. I can't make you do something like that. I can't—" whatever Kyungsoo was going to say next was lost in a passionate kiss. Following instinct, Kyungsoo folded his arms around Jongin's neck. Jongin brought the smaller closer to him, before pulling away.

"If you want me, I'm yours. I'd rather live a life grieving the loss of the greatest love of my life, than live a life without having loved that way before. I'm willing to love, and...I may not be prepared yet, but I can become prepared to lose you. Just give us a try, and...we'll figure things out as we go?"

The moment was beautiful. Kyungsoo nodded, ever so slightly.

"Okay...I'll give it a try,"

And once the words were said, another kiss bloomed. This was was most certainly sweeter. Fingers combed through messy hair, and tongues danced with tongues. Suddenly, a pillow came flying across the room, and hit the both of the square in the face.

"Go be coupley somewhere else!" a half-asleep Hyunsik whined. Kyungsoo giggled, just the tiniest bit. Maybe this wouldn't be too bad.

_________________________________

To say Chanyeol was shocked to see the elder sleeping in the bed next to his, would be an understatement.

But in the days since he had first noticed, the younger was beginning to notice that Baekhyun was trying his best to keep the distance that Chanyeol wanted. It was true, he'd asked for it, yet stil, something about it irked him, just a tiny bit. That tiny bit may have been large enough to engulf the Earth, but the Earth was, in fact, a tiny bit of the universe, so his statement was still correct. Hopefully.

It took a while for them to be able to outwardly acknowledge each other; neither really wanted to make the situation more painfully awkward than it already was. But soon enough, they were exchanging in pathetic attempts at small talk. Baekhyun was perfectly find with the newfound arrangement, but Chanyeol was not.

"Baek. We need to talk. We were never this awkward before, can't we just...start again?" he asked the elder, hoping profusely for a positive reply. Baekhyun wasn't exactly convinced from Chanyeol's suggestion.

"We can't. Mistakes have been made, mostly on my part, and you can't just forget. I'm not asking you to forgive and forget for me, I want you to accept, forgive and maybe then we can start over. It's a bit of a weird concept, but please,  don't suggest starting again."

"What if I already have? What if I've already accepted and forgiven you. I want to move past this, even if it's just as friends. We were friends for years before I confessed for the first time. Years. Years of friendship, and then even more years of dating. Are you really going to let all of that dissolve into this...this awkward mess?!" Chanyeol asked, his voice rising in volume considerably.

"Well...you can't just ask me to not be awkward. Look Chanyeol, I've moved on." He regretted the words the moment he said them. He didn't know what he was thinking! This was his one chance to fix things, and to remind Chanyeol that he was still hopelessly devoted to everything about him. But nothing ever really went as planned, when it came to Byun Baekhyun. 

"You've...moved on?" asked Chanyeol, his voice cautious and steady, "Of course you have. I shouldn't have expected anything else." Baekhyun didn't miss the glint of sadness in his eyes. He wasn't sure of where he was going, but he knew that this wasn't it. 

"Wait I mean—"

"No. It's okay. You've made your point clear. We'll be friends again, nothing more. I can be okay with that, if that's what you want," Chanyeol said with a slight quiver in his voice. He looked at Baekhyun, expecting the final answer. The smaller knew very well that this was going to be the last shot he'd have at taking the easy way out, and apologising. 

"Thanks, Chanyeol. Friends sounds superb." Inside Baekhyun was secretly praying that Chanyeol would fight for him. He wanted to hear him say that being friends wasn't enough, that he loved Baekhyun too much for a relationship so minimal. But nothing came out. As Chanyeol was about to leave the room, Baekhyun thought to say one last thing.

"Do you...still love me? Chanyeol?" It came out quieter than intended, but the message was conveyed. He saw the said male stop in his tracks, and laugh. It wasn't the type of laugh that was used when making fun of others. Instead, it was that sick, self-depricating chuckle that masked something much stronger and darker.

"I've never stopped Baek. You're the one who let go." Without saying a word more, he left. There was nothing more to be said. Baekhyun stared at the closed door for a long time, wondering where exactly his plan had gone wrong. All he wanted, was to let Chanyeol know that he was so desperately in love with him. But once again, the fear escaped, like inner demons wishing for his unhappiness. It lashed out at Chanyeol, and seeped into Baekhyun's unsuspecting brain. It hurt the person he loved the most, and Baekhyun didn't have the power to stop it.

So he curled up into a ball underneath the blanket covers. He'd go out to practice later. The wall was far more interesting than the things out there. It's cream paint served as a fantastic mental canvas, on which he recreated Chanyeol's face. Not the sad or neutral renditions, but the ones he still remembered so clearly from all those years ago.

The happy Chanyeol. The one who was so in love, he could've died. Where had that Chanyeol gone?

"...You're the one who let go." 

Ah...yes. And he regretted it every single day.

_________________________________

"What do you mean, I have to write lyrics?!"

Jongin was completely livid. He could construct a full orchestral piece in days. He could arrange, perfect, and polish something of importance in no time. But lyrics was a completely different field. Lyrics involve story, and, although he did want to learn about including that in performances,  he was pretty sure the whole learning process was going way too fast. Kris laughed a little at his protegé's response. 

"Of course there are lyrics! Unless they specify not to, you always need to have lyrics. And they have to be good. Tell a story, you know?" he explained, while scrolling through a website on his laptop, looking for a non-expensive box set of all of the Hercule Poirot mysteries. Jongin wanted to smash his head against any hard or sharp surface possible. 

"I don't know how to tell stories! When I read, I analyse. I never look into the plotline, I've never once fallen in love with characters. All I know is harmonious sounds and good technique. How the hell am I supposed to create lyrics?" Jongin vented, exasperation dripping from the strings of words he spewed. Kris looked up at him, his face showing great degrees of shock, (which on Kris would transpire to mean that he had a slightly open mouth—he didn't show all too much expression). 

"You've never told a story through a song? Then...how did you become so prestigious in your field?" Kris asked, his eyes peering questioningly at the strange specimen.

"Like I said before, it's all harmonious sounds and impeccable technique. I've never found the need to tell stories, until I realised that I'd hit a quota of some sots in my talents. The reason, I found, that I couldn't succeed my brother, was because I was playing too stoically for there to be improvement. I'm supposed to be learning about storytelling here, but giving me an assignment like this...it's a bit much!" 

Kris laughed a bit. He'd always thought that he was the most detached people on the planets. He was almost extrateresstrial in the way that he lacked many human tendencies. While this did change entirely when he was in the company of a certain panda-looking boy,  he'd never expected to find someone so robotic in their thoughts. A musical robot, that's what Jongin resembled. 

"Well, do you want to try it now?" Kris asked, preparing himself for the humor of attempted song lyrics. He earnt a tentative nod. "Okay, let's try this. I'll give you a line, and you have to follow it with another. We'll keep going and we'll have lyrics of some sort,"

"Okay..." Jongin replied, cocking an eyebrow at the strange exercise.

"When the world get's too heavy, put it on my back, I'll be your levy," Kris sung. He looked at Jongin expectantly. 

"Uh... you....are....taking me apart, like bad glue....on a get well card," Jongin sung back. His mentor burst into uncontrollable laughter, clutching his stomach and falling to ground. The robotic boy frowned, this clearly wasn't going his way. 

"Was it that bad?" he asked, clearly unaware of the strangeness in the lyrics he had used.

"Yes!" Kris replied, his air supply slowly returning to him, "What the hell does that mean? 'Taking me apart like bad glue on a get well card'? Really?"

"It's metaphorical!" Jongin exclaimed. He wasn't exactly enjoyed being ridiculed the way he so often did others.

"How?" Kris asked, the smirk on his face clearly challenging the tanned male to a battle of wits, and knowledge of metaphors.

"Well, the male or female in question is clearly attempting to repair somebody, therefore resulting in the get well card. But the addition of bad glue to that get well card shows it falling apart, and doing more to tear him apart more than it pulls him together. This shows, that the male singing would be suffering, most likely from an unrequited love, or something of the sorts, and the object of his affection is reaching out in friendship, bringing more pain than happiness." Jongin explained. In all honesty, he hadn't thought of any of that when creating those words. He was just trying to find things that rhymed. He'd merely been trying to put some sort of a story behind the word vomit he'd produced, and it turned out quite fantastic.

When he realised he'd rendered the almighty Kris speechless, he had to give himself a mental pat on the back. He'd done it. It was a baby step, but slowly he was beginning to see what the whole 'story' thing did. It was a meaning behind notes and words, that made things that would seem otherwise pointless, into something so much more beautiful.

"That...was kind of amazing. Who made you think like that?" Kris asked, nudging Jongin just a little. It was clear what Kris was thinking of. A love interest. Of course, only one owl-eyed boy came to mind at this thoought.

"Do Kyungsoo. Hyunsik's roommate," he said with confidence. Kris's face fell considerably. He would've been more happy, and he really wanted to be, but he just couldn't. Do Kyungsoo was someone who was dying, a sinking ship, so to speak. Instead of running for cover, the way that he should've been, he was jumping on board. There was nothing that could be done to prevent the ship for capsizing, but Jongin just didn't seem to care.

"You know you're going to come out of this thoroughly bruised, right? I don't usually care for things, Jongin. I care for Tao, for my parents, and for my sister. But I also care about you, because we're horribly alike. Akin in the worst way. Make sure you know what you're doing, before you run to the sinking ship, Jongin. There's no telling if you'll drown with it."

And all Jongin could think was "I don't mind sinking with this ship. It's an adventure, too good to miss,"

_________________________________

"They said that they found one, Soo! Isn't that great!"

Kyungsoo was on the phone with Dr. Kim once more. He wasn't sure why he'd called at this time, but the news was pretty significant.

"It's not the first time they've said they found a cure, doc. With all due respect, the last time I "cheated death" it seemed that all I was doing was kicking the can further down the street, to a much more painful avenue," Kyungsoo replied. He'd had enough of all of this 'side treadment'. If he was destined to die young, then why not?

"This time, it's been proven. They're 100% completely certain of it. No kinks, no secret extra trials. Nothing. It's been backed up by research, and data. They've even already tested it."

"Fine then, say i did accept this treatment. What would it entail? Weekly injections? Surgery? I don't want to go through any of that anymore, doc! I just...I want to live while I can live!"

"You'll be able to live a lot longer if you take it, Kyungsoo. And it'll be pretty harmless. It's just an IV drip. The only catch, is that you'll have to go to Canada, and stay there permanently. The IV drips will need to be done every three monthes, and they're only avaliable in one Canadian hospital. You can't bring any family, and you'll have to rebuild your life there, but you'll be alive."

"I....I'll think about it. No promises, doc,"

"Thinking about it is enough, Kyungsoo,"

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A/N: 
Ooooh, more mysterious illness related stuffs!
I really like this whole 'illness-building' thing.
It's actually really fun!
You should try it sometime!
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