KiKo is Ji Yong’s girlfriend.

Kwon Ji Yong, G-Dragon.

I have heard about this man many times before; however, I don’t care.

It’s just none of my business.

Until one day, when I attended my friend’s party, I saw a man who was smoking silently in the corner of the room. That man is beautiful, not a most beautiful man I ever met, but I found myself can’t take my eyes off him. The man lifts his head up, catch my stare, his eyes shows some complicated emotion, and asks me slowly:

“You’re Kiko?”

I nod

“Beautiful, confident. That’s why he likes you that much.”

Who is “he”? But before I can ask anything, his next question turns me losing my mind.

“Be my girlfriend, won’t you?”

The first time I met Seung Ri was a rainy day. I just suddenly miss Ji Yong and book a ticket to Korean, want to make him surprise. Nevertheless, when I try to call him, his phone was turned off. I have no choice but waiting outside his dorm, in the rain. When I almost give up and decide to come back, I hear a loud laugh from far away. I see Ji Yong is with a boy; the boy is laughing at something funny and Ji Yong looks at him with gentle eyes, holding an umbrella.

“That why he likes you that much.” When he told me that, his eyes show the same gentleness.

Trying to ignore the sorrow deep in my heart, I wave at Ji Yong.

“Ji Yong”

“Kiko, why are you here.”

“I … I have a day off so I come here to see you.”

“Aren’t you Kiko? Why are you here? I like you a lot” That boy looks at me with curious, excited and bright eyes.

“I’…”

“It’s my girlfriend. Kiko, it’s Seung Ri.”

Seung Ri.

“Nice to meet you, Seung Ri. I’m Kiko. Sorry, my Korean is not good.”

He smiles back, shakes my hand, “Hi, I’m Seung Ri.”

I pretend that I didn’t see the blue in his eyes, didn’t see the bitter in Ji Yong’s eyes.

I didn’t see anything.

I’m Kwon Ji Yong’s girlfriend.

The 2^nd time I saw him is not direct but via the screen. When I walk out of the hotel bathroom, I see Ji Yong is watching something attentively.

“What are you watching?” I hug him from the back, look at the screen and see Seung Ri’s performance.

“He’s good, right? I compliment.

“No”

“What?”

“Looking at his dance, it’s so weird and has no highlight. That part, he’s better standing in the center. His eyes should reflect more emotion here, and his voice should be in lower tone. And his move, doesn’t you see his tiredness? Isn't he sick or something?”

“Ji Yong.”

“I gonna text him now.”

“Why don’t you just call him?”

“That’s kid”, Ji Yong states powerlessly. “If you talk to him directly, he just forgets it easy. He’s an immature kid.”

He’s burst out laugh when he remebers about something, “He always pretends he’s listening when you teach him something, but actually not. He always pouts when people text him something he doesn’t like, but he will take your words. He’s a kid like that, Kiko.

Ji Yong doesn’t know how his behaviors show the warmness and caring, but I do.

But I choose the different way, pretend like nothing happens.

I’m Kwon Ji Yong's girlfriend.

The next time I saw him is in a party about fashion, we're both invited. I expected him going himself, but soon I found him goes with Seung Ri.

“Hyung, can I just stay at home? I have no idea about fashion, why I have to go???” Seung Ri pouts, tries to takes Ji Yong’s hand off

“Don’t pretend yourself, I know you just want to stay home and find a girl. I don’t want any scandal in that period.”

“Eh, I won’t …”

“It’s the leader’s order. You have no choice.”

Seung Ri pouts but still follow Ji Yong, doesn’t say a word, even though Ji Yong tries to poke him.

“Come on, maknae, it’s just …”

“Ji Yong”, I smile faintly, try to ignore the depress emotion. “You came?”

“Yes, Kiko” He smiles back at me, his eyes is dark when Seung Ri smiles at me and acts cute “sister-in-law, hello”

“Come in, we’re late.” He pulls Seung Ri closer, move faster.

I didn’t see anything.

In the party, many people recognize Ji Yong and starts talking with him. Taking his chance, Seung Ri takes off Ji Yong’s hands and goes to have fun himself. When I and Ji Yong found him, he has been drinking a lot and he drunk.

“Maknae, you want to die?” Ji Yong pulls him angrily, but he seems like didn’t know anything, smiles foolishly with Ji Yong before falling in Ji Yong embraces.

“Sorry, I better take him home.” He looks at me, guilty but he gets out of the room immediately.

He was never mad with me before. Never, even thought just once. 

Something is rising in my heart. I can’t take it anymore. I decide to gets out of the party and in rush going to the parking lot.

I shouldn’t.

I shouldn’t do that.

I see Ji Yong from the back in the corners of the parking lot. I was about calling him before I see what he is doing and my eyes widen in shock.

He locks Seung Ri in the wall, kisses him, and call his name continuously as he’s afraid if he stops, everything will vanish.

“Maknae, maknae, Seung Ri, Seung Ri.”

Seung Ri doesn’t push Ji Yong away, he’s drunk. His eyes still closed but Ji Yong crosses Seung Ri’s arm on his shoulder and holds his waist.

He never calls my name when we kissed, is it because he’s afraid he will call someone else’s name in accident?

I can’t even cry, just stand there feels everything’s broken. My heart feels the cold from deeply inside.

You’re like the drug, addicted drug that even though I know you’re poisonous from the first place, I can’t help myself taking it.

“Ji Yong”

He turns back, seeing me. His eyes show guiltiness but no regret.

“Kiko, I …”

“You shouldn’t … here. Let’s talk in more private place.”

He drives us to a riverside  with beautiful nice view. He takes off his shirt to cover Seung Ri sleeping peacefully in the back seat, before get out of the car with me.

He doesn’t say anything but smoking.

He doesn’t explain anything.

He just doesn’t let me have any hope.

“So we broke up?” I pretend my voice from shaking.

“I’m so sorry, Kiko. I will treat you well; give you everything you want, except my heart.

I like you, but I love him.”

“Do you know you’re the cruelest ever, Ji Yong? I hope you can say you’re using me that I can hate you. I hope you can explain that I can continue lie to my heart, Ji Yong. But …”

“I’m sorry, Kiko. I know I am a bastard.”

“You are.”

I turn my back and leave before he can see that I’m crying. Betrays me? He didn’t say he love in in the first place. Using me? He is not. I know he had tried hard to give me anything.

He is just can’t love me.

But I love him.

“Ji Yong”, I tries to keep my voice strong, don’t turn my back. “When you introduce me with him, you’re hurt yourself that you didn’t dare to look at his eyes. But at that time, his eyes reflect the sorrow.”

“Kiko, what does it mean?”

“You’ve better know yourself. You’re an expert in love, are only fool for him.”

“I…” He wants to say something but I run away, catch a taxi and can’t help myself from crying hard now.

“He loves you, Ji Yong. Your love is not one-side love.

Hold your happiness.”

I’m selfish but I love you.

I am Kwon Ji Yong’s ex-girlfriend.