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  The familiar sensation of my lips crept up my lips as I caught sight of her familiar backview. All these weeks and months of restraining myself from seeing her, all these times I drank myself senseless to stop thinking of her, all these times of torture over missing her was instantly relieved when I saw her sitting alone on that swing, her familiar warm brown curls cascading down her back. Kyungmi, do you know how much I missed you? Why are you out here alone so late at night?

  And there it was followed by the also familiar aching in the left side of my chest, together with the reminder of how she pleaded for me to let her go. All the lingering thoughts that I destroyed in the past weeks assembled together as every memory of her came flowing back into my head. The first time I saw her, how her hair framed her face perfectly. I remember the first time I saw her helplessness as her dad chased her out from the house. I remembered how torn and broken she was as she walked like a living dead on the streets the night her mum passed, how her hand was weakly tugging on my collar as she cried and cried, in my arms. I remembered how shattered I was that night seeing her like that, how I promised to protect her from every falling danger or any sadness she will ever feel.

  But as each second I spent watching her back passed as each stabbing pain that eventually built up so much I just want it to stop. This girl can never be mine. I've chose to walk away, to let her go, but fate made me see her again, once at her weakest side when all I wanted was to get some Ramyun from the convinience store, cruelly but efficiently reminding me of her, the star I longed but will never reach.

  But I just can't tear my eyes away from her. I had locked her away deep under my mind while my heart screamed and cried out for her so much that now that it finally saw her again, it couldn't go. Even though I'm pretty sure that pain is going to kill it soon, it just couldn't.

  And that's when I hear the soft melody, strangely familiar.

  Softly, Kyungmi sang out the chorus of our song, A fool's only Tears. Her voice is as beautiful to me as ever, but terribly enveloped in sadness. My mind commanded at my legs to bring me away, safe to the place where I have access to my music and alcohol but it wouldn't budge. The sorrow in her voice paralysed my mind and seizing the opputunity, my heart took over.

  She stopped, choking with tears. My eyes widen. She's crying. My Kyungmi is crying. Before even evaluating, my lips parted to continue the song for her.

"Even if I become just a Fool of Tear, I just can't seem to forget you;

 And every night, again tears, baby

 Can't you come back to me?"

  I stood in the cool night breeze as I ruffled my fringe, smiling faintly as I watched her stood up in shock, her eyes widening as she saw me. Her lips trembled slightly as another stream of tears leaked down her face and she wiped them away hastily with the back of her hand, her eyes not tearing away from me the whole time, as if I wasn't real at all.

  "Daesung?"

  My heart faltered. There's this one thing about the way she calls out my name that makes my heart weaken everytime. Time passed but my bitterness, my feelings remained, unchanged. This shouldn't be...

  "Where have you been?" She asked loudly, sobbing while looking angry, "I thought you'll never come back again. Do you know how bad I felt?"

  No, Kyungmi. I can never not come back to you. Forcing a grimace, I hesitated before I whispered, "I'm sorry."

  She blinked at me for a moment and I stared stright into her eyes, giving myself up completely in them. She sighed, sinking back to the swing, her head bowed. Going over cautiously so that I could occupy that empty swing beside hers, I asked. "So what's wrong with you? Why are you here at this time?"

  Kyungmi raised her head, her brows furrowing in a way that seemed like she was hiding her agony, "I just wanted to walk."

  "So you wouldn't even tell me your problems now huh?"

  She looked stung as she quickly rebutted. "Ofcourse not! It's just- I- I feel bad. It's- I can't.. It's too.." She bit her lips, "Cruel for you."

  "It's Jiyong hyung isn't it?" I said gently.

  Kyungmi gasped, her expression weakening, her eyes glistening again under the dim street lights. I'm right.. It's him. She nodded slowly, closing her eyes as a sign of admit, two strings of tears tumbling out from under her lashes.

  "I.. He.. He changed. Jiyong did." She whispered, a mixture of fear and lost in her voice. "I hardly know who he is now.. Sometimes he's Jiyong.. Sometimes he's G-Dragon.. I can't see who he is now. Sometimes his personality could be so different that I'm.. scared. He's losing that familiar feeling he used to have.. He's not the old him who I fell in love with.." She croaked as I winced a little in pain upon the word. Catching my expression, she wiped away her tears quickly, muttering "Sorry"

  "It's fine." I lied, forcing a smile on my face while the thing in the left side of my chest groaned and protested. 

  "I told him we should stop seeing each other until we thought it over." She whispered dreamily, her voice cracking mid sentence as she finally loses it, burying her face in her hands.

  "You what?" I asked, shocked. She broke up with Hyung? The creature within me lifted its head, sniffing the air curiously. "But.. Hyung worked really hard to get to where he is today."

  "I know." She sobbed, her voice muffled. "That's why I don't want to be his distraction.. I don't want to be whats holding him down.. I can't let people know about us.. I can't.. I'm scared. Scared for him. I'm so scared Dae, I'm scared that all his efforts and dreams would vaporise because of all these.." She looks up, her face pale under the moonlight and stained with tears. "But Jiyong thinks I'm embarrased to be with him. He hates my job. He loathes it." She gulped. "He told me that..that I should't work anymore.. because he can buy me anything I'll ever need."

  Jiyong hyung said that? I frowned. That's impossible.. Because if he did he's a real bastard. What did he took her as? An item for sale? Doesn't he know how much kyungmi likes to perform?

  "He had forgotten all of my dreams. All of it." She cried, "He forgot how we used to train together.. How we motivated each other... He's gone.. I don't know what to do, Daesung oppa."

  Tell her.The creature in my chest hissed. Tell her you still love her even after all these and you'll never treat her like that bastard.

  He's not a bastard. He's my damn hyung.

  He got your girl.. And is this not the best timing to get her back? It sneered. Tell her you love her. You want her. Get her.

  She's hurting now. She trust me enough to tell me all these. I'll be hurting her more.

  She hurt you.

  I love her.

  But she's not yours. It mocked as my mind fell silent. She could be.. It whispered slyly. Only if you seize this chance and get her.

  "No!" I yelped out loud, shooting up from where I was sitting. Kyungmi followed, looking surprised.

  "What?" She stuttered, her round eyes large with worry and panic.

  I stared at her for a moment. Her beautiful tear stained face, innocent as ever. Would she even guessed of the raging battle that took place in my head?

  "Nothing. Lets get you home, pumpkin." I whispered, my eyes stinging as I turned around, not wanting her to see it, trying to sound normal by using my old nickname for her.\

  Damn it Kyungmi.

  I love you.

  And it hurts so bad.

Me rewriting this chapter after a particularly rough day

Its not healthy to feel or become attached to

fictional characters you wrote yourself.. right?

  Leave comments on how you feel about the chapter!