Promotions, promotions, and more promotions.

  That's what got me past for the next day, drunking myself at work, plastering on a smile at the cameras so much to the extend my facial muscles ached, and trying really hard to not hobble infront of the press. I kept myself busy. I kept my mind busy so that my handphone is kept far away from my fingers that are itching to reply Jiyong's numerous messages and missed calls. Because deep down, I understood that what we both really need now is time. Time to calm down, time to think about what we really want.

  Well, but apparently the time that I wanted to put between us didn't went so well, because within the night he was there, at 2am, outside the yard, throwing tiny pebbles up at my window glass just like how he would do when he's signalling me to sneak out before we both debuted.

  Hissing, I got up quickly since I wasn't asleep in the first place. Afriad to wake my father, I pulled a cardigan over my tank top and pyjamas pantsbefore tip toe-ing out of the silent house quickly.

  "What do you want?" I asked carefully, brushing my locks aside as I struggled to see Jiyong in the dim light. "Why're you here?" I demanded this time, realising a second later that it sounded stupid; Jiyong's dorm is only a few blocks away.

  "You ain't picking up my calls." He said coldly, frustration obvious in his voice as he turned to face me, his arms folded across his white Chrome Hearts muscle tank that lies above his grey baggy hip hop pants. His blonde hair is damp, plastering down his face which suggested that he just took a bath. His schedule must be hectic too, if he only got to take a bath near 2 am.

  "Why're you finding me so urgently anyway?" I retorted, folding my arms too. His eyes travelled down to my ankle and remained there for a good 2 seconds, before they meet my gaze again.

  "It's fine. It was recovering until you decided to leave me in a middle of a conversation."

  "You wouldn't get hurt in the first place if it wasn't for your job, Kyungmi." Jiyong snapped, rolling his eyes.

  Gosh, he's still going on about my job even now! "Do you hate my job that much?" I whispered, staring at him. He sighed and turned away, glaring at the innocent street lamp instead. "Jiyong, look at me," I said, turning his face gently over so he's staring straight into my eyes. "Do you hate my job? Do you hate me being an actress?"

  "Maybe I do." He said as he unfolded his hands, "I mean- Kyungmi ah" His hands reached up to clamp on my shoulder, ignoring my slight flinch, "You don't have to work. I can provide for you, isn't it? I'm earning enough nowadays. More than enough. Just tell me what you want and I'll get them for you."

  "Jiyong what're you-"

  "You're G-Dragon's girlfriend," Jiyong said louder, "You're supposed to live a life better than others. You can be pampered and showered with all the luxuries you want! I can get you everything you want, everything we need. An apartment, a car.."

  My mouth fell opened as my eyes surveyed his brown ones. My sight travelled down to his narrow fingers on my shoulder as I backed away slowly, unable, not willing to absorb what he just said. A feeling of dread and fear that I've never had before spreaded across me at once. 

  "You're wrong." I said, surprised to find my voice this hoarse and unsteady. Jiyong took a step foward, his eyes spelt confusion while his hand reached for me. "You're wrong. The one I fell in love with, is Kwon Jiyong. Not G-Dragon.." I whispered. Damn, I should've known this from the start. In fact, I did, but a bigger part of me was in denial. I didn't wish to believe that Jiyong would be lost between himselves. I don't want him to. I fell in love with this boy with a gummy smile, the boy who worked hard for his dreams, the trainee that I set eyes on. Not G-Dragon, the fashion icon, the rising star, the heartbreaker. G-Dragon is Jiyong's acheievment. But now he's so caught up in it that he's letting the other him take over.. well, him.

  "Do you reme,ber when we were both trainees, how hard we trained for our dreams together?" I asked, tears filming my eyes suddenly as the fear of losing Jiyong forever sunk in deeper and deeper. "Remember how my father chased me out because I didn't want to go to that business school? Do you remember all these?" I asked, moving foward as my finger engrasped at his shirt urgently. Afraidly. Jiyong stared down at me, confusement still in his eyes.

  "I do."

  "Then why're you telling me to stop persuing them?"

  "I'm saying that it doesn't matter if you stop. I can fend for you." He protested, still confused.

  My mouth went dry as I backed down again, a little part in me sinking into the swirling darkness while I kept my gaze fixtated on him. No, he had forgotten everything. My dreams. How they sustained me through the years after my mother's bizzare goodbye. How important they meant to me. How I balanced my studies and trainings. How excited I was when somebody finally recognised me on the street those years back. He had forgotten everything. "You're not even Jiyong now." I whispered, more to myself than to him as I turned around so that he wouldn't see that tear of disappointment and sadness. "Go home, G-Dragon."

  "What?" He asked, voice filled with more confusion and frustrate. I have never addressed him by his stage name before. Closing my eyes and taking a lungful of the cold stabbing night air, I returned to the house, making a silent prayer in my heart.

  Please give my Jiyong back.

  The filming for the variety show Strong Heart the next day passed in a blur as I remained unfocused throughout but was alert enough to answer the questions for me. My throat felt hot and raw while my body feels cold and clammy throughout the recording, but I kept a calm smile and posture thrpughout, silently sure that I'm running a high fever. Thankfully though, no one realised anything wrong so the recording was smooth and ended sucessfully.

  All except one.

  I tossed my belongings messily into my sling bag, fumbling to zip it up in my waiting room after the filming wrapped up. My breath was hot and my head spun. Quickly, I slipped the short silver dress off myself before pulling up my track pants. Pulling my heels off, I fitted into the pair of sandals my manager prepared before the door flew open.

  I let out a piercing shriek, my hands tossing the heels at the directly of the door as they simultaneously grabbed my bag almost in the same second, shielding my chest that was covered by a mere bra.

  "!" Jiyong yelped, gulping and turning red when he saw me, turning over immediately to lock the door as one of my heels hit him squarely in the back.

  "What're you doing here?" I shrieked, my bag clutched tightly to myself. Jiyong had his back turned, facing the door.

  "Why didn't you lock the door when you're changing?" Jiyong hissed through his teeth, "What if other guys came in?"

  I swallowed, blinking hard as another wave of dizziness struck me. What am I thinking? How can I strip myself without locking the door?

  "You stay there." I whispered, grabbing my hoodie quickly before thowing it over my neck in lightning speed, cursing myself over and over in my head.

  Knock. Knock knock knock knock knock.

  I froze, my hand grabbing the edge of the hoodie that I just put on, cold sweat breaking out. A few steps away, Jiyong, whose hand was still on the door knob tensed up, turning his head to me a little just so enough that I can see what's in his eyes: Panic.

  "Kyungmi shi? Kyungmi shi?" The knocking resumed as a voice called out. The filming director. "Are you okay? I heard a scream. Kyungmi shi, can you open the door?"

  No, I can't let that door open. Once it is, it's over. Jiyong couldn't be spotted in my waiting room with the doors locked. It would seem too suspicious.

  "I'm okay!" I yelled, trying to keep my voice steady. "I just.. I just.. I just nearly dropped my lipstick! It's really expensive!" I lied, chuckling nervously.

  "Could you open the door, Kyungmi shi?"

  "No!" I shrieked before clapping a hand on my mouth. Jiyong turned slightly to glare at me. "I'm changing now, director nim!"

  "I see. I'll just leave you then! Good work today, Miss Choi!" He called out cheerfully as I remained frozen, not daring to move an inch of muscle while his footsteps outside the thin door got further and further. I let out a deep breath while a stabbing pain attacked at my temples immediately, where my hands flew up to.

  "Why're you here?" I asked Jiyong, sounding more like a groan. He turned around to face me, raising his head, still in his recording outfit. He flipped aside his blonde hair with a slight tilt of his head, before opening his mouth.

  "Going anywhere later?"

  "I can't. I'm not feeling well now Jiyong."

  "You fell sick, didn't you?" He demanded softly. I kept my mouth shut and he gave a smile that seem more like a mock. "I knew it. I could tell. Why're you filming when you're like this?"

  "I.. My manager told me to come and promote the movie.." I mumbled, trying to keep my eyes focused.

  Jiyong gave a cold laugh as he folded his arms. "Yah, you know what, why didn't you let that guy come in just now? Let him expose us, and then we'll be on the front papers tomorrow. Isn't that the best way of promoting? I'm sure people would be interested in G-Dragon's girlfriend's film."

  The moment that sentence escaped his lips my blurry eyes turned clear as the buzzing noise in my ears stopped. I stared at him in rage, in disbelief. Here he goes again, my work and his stupid ego. His stupid split personality.

  "You think i'm with you for your popularity?" I hissed, the ever so worthless tears from my throbbing anger, humiliation and heartache sprang behind my my eyes. How could he say such a thing directly to me? I loved him with all my heart yet he thought of it so cheaply?

   "Do you think I'm that incapable of gaining sucess myself?" I continued, biting on my lip, holding back the tears. "You know what, Jiyong- or should I call you G-Dragon- I'm really sick of this. You're not.. You anymore..."

  I stared at him, who narrowed his eyes, again not comprehending with anything I said. My heart sank. He isn't the old Jiyong that I loved. He doesn't even realise how much he changed. My heart split opened and bleed, and tightly, I clenched on it.

  "Jiyong," I whispered, my voice soft, deflated. A single tear broke free from the tight grip of my eyes and mind as it quickly escaped down my cheek. Jiyong looked up in alarm upon its appearance. "Listen to me, we should.."

  Do it Kyungmi. Do it. You're tired.

  "We should.. stop seeing each other.. Give ourselves some time off.. I just can't find traces of the man I fell in love with 3 years ago in you now... I can't do this anymore."

  Jiyong widen his eyes as his lips parted. Frowning in disbelief, shock, anger, hurt, he dropped his arms from his chest. "You're suggesting a break up?" He whispered, voice torn, his sentence sounding more like a statement than a question.

  "I just need time.. To think. Lets not meet up for now, until we both thought this through," I said, wiping away the tears with the back of my hand. Throwing him a last longing glance, I left the room with my aching head and heart, which was shattered into a million fragments.

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