I got no idea how I got home that day, how I went into the shower or how I even fell asleep that night. All my head register was that pair of warm chocolate brown eyes that resembled the calm ocean late at night and the smile that stretched across his face to reveal his gums and pearly white teeth. All I thought about was what had I possibly done to deserve his cold treatment that I had no idea would make me this miserable. I yearned for him to talk to me again because after all, although he was really irritating at times, he's the only guy who risked being punished just to make sure I was full. The first guy who made my heart pound this crazily. Why do I feel this weird?

  By the time the sun rose and peek through the shy clouds, I think I found my answer.

  I went off early today, leaving school before that last remedial lesson commerced that day to prepare to go for my last "Trainee-Helper" work. I vaguely remembered how much I used to hate this work, thinking how much time it would take up and how Jiyong would always order me around. Now that I get to stop being one due to my debut date and filming that's set to be a few days ahead, the rest of the trainees congratulated me for it, openly showing how envious they are. I thought I would be happy, but when the time that the last helping session finally arrived, it didn't feel particularly joyous either. 

  After a quick shower and dinner, I pulled out a cream colored knitted pullover and a pair of tight fitting acid washed jeans, completed with the hanging of the backstage staff permit pass over my neck before I set off, early this time aware of the traffic that nearly earned me fifty sit ups until-

  "Stop." I shook my head, slapping my face gently as if to wake myself up. "Don't think about anything that'll remind you of him again. Get your senses together for today. Hwaiting!"

  "Oh, Kyungmi Ah!" A familiar cheerful voice rang out as I arrived at the entertainment and I turned around, smiling, already knowing who it is before I called back.

  "Hey, where are we supposed to assemble now?"

  Taehee caught up and instintively, her hand shot to dangle around my shoulder as I laughed and tickled her. "Find JiEun unnie, she'll tell you what to do!"

  "Who's JiEun unnie?" I asked curiously as she laughed and slapped my back, leaving me scowling jokingly.

  "God, Kyungmi!" Taehee teased, dramatically exasperated. "JiEun is the stylist for the oppas! I can't fregging stand your social circle- It's so tiny!"

  "I've realised. That's credited to me dedicating all my time to you, girl." I grumbled half heartedly, waving to Taehee as I boarded the lift, which brought me straight up to the fifth floor where the stylists and the coordinators are. I knew our task was to go as Bigbang's assistants to make sure they have enough time to change within the short time they have to change between the award receiving ceremony and their performance for the year's Seoul music Awards but I never knew we had to know their stylist beforehand.

  ".. I don't even know how JiEun unnie looks like.." I muttered to myself, walking around the hallway lined by rooms filled with different costumes, some elegant and stylish looking while others ridiculously colorful and funky like.

  "Need help?" Someone whispered behind me right into my ear as I barely managed to keep myself from screaming, turning around from the glass that I've been pressing my nose against to peek into the room filled with creepy fake hair so that I could now glare at the intruder, who chuckled slightly.

  "Did I scare you?" Choi Seunghyun grinned, his makeup evidently showing that he had just went to the stylist as I barely managed to calm myself from the scare, refusing to even turn back to look at the arrays of sinister hair.

  "No, obviously. I screamed because I was sleepy." I replied sarcastically. "Sunbae." I added.

  His perfect face split into a smirk as he folded his arms. "Yah, come off it. We trained together around the same time, friend. You were here even before we debuted, remember, actress-to-be?" He teased as I raised an eyebrow. How did he knew that I was debuting as an... "Everybody knows." he added upon the look on my face.

  "Fine, TOP. Where's JiEun unnie?" I asked, looking around again as he pointed behind him and said casually, almost looking bored.

  "Third room from here. Turn left."

  I stretched my neck to catch a glimpse of where he is talking about before turning back to thank him, but he was already making his way towards the lift, raising a hand in the air.

  "You're welcomed!" He said, his voice echoing from the hallway, "I like your sense. Your sarcasm, to be specific."

  I laughed to myself before making my way down to the place he indicated, where I was instructed to carry their performance outfits to the van downstair that's awaiting. Hurling the outrageously heavy outfits over my shoulder, I stumbled to the lift. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing that its my last day as a helper.

  But the outfits, probably including the shoes that packed within, were seriously dense and the route out of the building seems longer thn usual. Perspiration fell like raindrops as I staggered to balance them, so sure that if I dropped anything, JiEun unnie would murder me with a foundation brush. I groaned and bounced my shoulder slightly as one of the five outfits threatened to slip off before the weight decreased significantly suddenly.

  I turned around, with some difficulty, to see daesung flinging 3 outfits over his own shoulder. His face was bare, which suggested that he had just came back from filming that variety show again. I gulped. We hadn't talked much since the week my mum passed away. Since the day I got into the hospital. Since the moment he told me something.. unbelievable. He looked up and smiled, looking a little award too as his eyes avoided mine.

  "I'll help you."

  "Its alr.. alright, Dae. I can manage..."

  "You're gonna get hurt, silly." He said softly, eyes staring straight through mine as I flushed and turned away immediately before he laughed and continued, "Now tell me where I have to put them before I snatch another one from you."

  My hands went over to my remaining two outfits protectively and he chuckled to himself again, his eyes barely seen, amused. "There's a silver van outside. JiEun unnie says to leave it there."

  "Ah, JiEun noona is giving us heavy clothes again?" Daesung groaned as I laughed, genuinely pitying their fate of having to dance in these ridiculous weights before my eyes caught him.

  Jiyong.

  Standing a few feet from us at the entrance, Jiyong looked like he probably just came over from the dorm as he yawned to himself irritably before looking up and catching a glimpse of us. He blinked in surprise, his face unreadable and blank almost immediately as his eyes travelled from me to Daesung, who had stopped in his tracks.

  "What are you doing?" Jiyong asked, sounding almost annoyed as he fixed his fgaze at Daesung, still keen to ignore me. I shut my eyes, sighing wearily, which earned me a confused look from Daesung.

  "Helping Kyungmi bring these to the van...? She's going to fall if she carried everything."

  "Oh. Whatever. Just come up soon to have your makeup done alright?" Jiyong said stiffly, yawning and stretching as if nothing happened, giving Daesung a pat on his back as he passed, treating me as if I'm a gust of wind.

  "Are you both.. okay?" Daesung asked hesitantly as we reached the van. I smiled almost mockingly at myself.

  "I don't know. He's been like this since the day I got into the hospital." I said and Daesung's face darkened upon the words. "But it's okay, really." I lied, dumping the clothes into the van with extra force.

  I hadn't had time to think over this as the rest of the night passed with chaos and buzz, with the stylist practically running around madly, shoving us everything to be put into the van and soon enough, we too, were hurled in and exported to the ceremony venue. We proceeded to Bigbang's waiting room where instructions were given to stay inside at all times as Bigbang went off somewhere in the middle of the ceremony for their performance.

  The atmosphere in the waiting room was tense, with us all ready to get into work the moment they step back into the waiting room and JiEun unnie looked like she is practically going to pounce on them, a comical sight with her staring intently at the door, brows furrowed, looking as if she is going to go on the frontline of war holding a hairdryer in a hand and a brush in the other. Taehee and I had barely managed to stiffened our laughter before the boys burst in, and the room exploded into chaos right away.

  I dived for the clothes rack, pulling off an outfit before dashing back to Jiyong, who's panting heavily from the performance but looking just as frantic as the stylist who madly fixed his hair first.

  "I'm so nervous for the award.. I don't think we'll win.. What if we don't..." Seungri muttered to his helper beside us as I ignored him, pulling Jiyong's red jacket off him to put on the white one prepared for the rest of the show.

  "Yah yah yah! KyungMi ah! Kyungmi ah that's not my jacket that's Youngbae's! Youngbae's! You got the wrong one!" Jiyong shouted suddenly as I gasped, making a beeline towards the rack as my fingers fumbled toget the jacket back up before pulling off another one and rushing back to the leader, who was muttering hotly, "We're running out of time.."

  "All nominees for the last award please be seated in five minutes. I repeat.."

  We looked up at the speaker in unison and for a moment, there was silence before everyone started moving in the speed of light. Taehee was tying Daesung's shoelaces in a mad rush and JiEun unnie looked like she was about to break down.

  "Here," I said, relieved as I straightened Jiyong's jackets while everyone else where still hotly preparing, before looking up to see him trying to bite his nails again, his face clearly nervous about the award. Shaking my head, I pulled his fingers from his mouth and he looked up, eyes scared as I tried to give him a reassuring smile.

  "You'll win. You guys deserved it." I said, relieved to see some of his nervousness wearing off before I passed him his hat. "I.. Believe in you." I muttered, avoiding his eyes as he froze, his eyes staring at my face slightly surprised before blinking furiously to his senses as Taeyang shouted for everyone to go.

  "Hwaiting." I mouthed as he threw me a last glance before being huddled out of the room.