7/20/3022

 

Hey Baby,

 

            I thought about you a lot this week. Not that you’re not always on my mind, cuz you are, babe. You’re all I ever think about. But I got a letter in the mail this week. Don’t worry, I haven’t been drafted yet. It was just… a reminder, I guess. That they’re still looking for recruits and encouraging “strong young men to service their country in the most honorable way!” Chubs is thinking of going. Says maybe he’ll find his brother, but I don’t think even he believes that. But you know, babe, the tv says the war is almost over. Says the Indian and American forces have breached the Russian border. That’s a good thing, right? It means we’re getting closer to winning, right? Where are you, baby? Are you safe? Do you like your platoon, have you made friends? Have you met Daehyun Chubs’ brother? I’m so scared. Sometimes I can’t sleep at night because I think of you, somewhere in bumble China, freezing your of with no food or friends. Or maybe you’re in some North Korean facility, being tested on, with your organs being sent in little zip-lock baggies to the scientists in Russia and Iran.

 

I don’t want to go to war, hyung. I don’t want to fight. I’m a coward and that’s what keeps me up the most. While you offered to fight, while you willingly went, my brave little soldier, to protect your country and your people. To protect me. I sit here cowering in the dark, hiding under my blanket and clutching my bunny like a child, a piece of paper my worst nightmare. They say I could be a hero, but that uniform looks more like a sacrificial robe than a cape to me. Hero?  Is that what the war has made our country? A bunch of desperate con-men that lure children out with promises of fulfilling their boyish fantasies, then strap guns to their thin shoulders and paint blood on still-round faces. Did I channel you a bit in that last sentence? Sounds pretty stupid when I read it again, guess I need to work on being poetic and . I want you to come home, baby. I want this war to be over, I want all my friends to stay safe, I don’t want anyone else to enlist or be drafted or whatever. I want to eat dinner with you and feel your arm around me when we watch a movie. I want you to meet Chubs and his brother, and Pup’s (my dance friend, you know) new girlfriend. I want you to meet them all and for all of us to sit together and eat together and

 

I want people to stop hurting each other, and for the University to open again, because I haven’t seen a drop of rain in the last two weeks so they better cut that about hurricane’s or Tsunami’s or whatever ty excuse they’re using now.  I love you so goddamn much it’s eating me alive. Every morning I wake up and you’re not there and I turn on the T.V., the radio, just to find out that the world is going to . They’re rationing food now and I’ve barely eaten anything but rice in the past month. There are rumors going around about how they’re trying to evacuate all major cities after the bombing in Busan. They think Seoul or Gwanju are next. There are bomb threats and bomb scares everywhere, baby, and no one knows what’s real and what’s not anymore. My parents want me back in Mokpo and I want to go, god, I have to go.  Ever since my brother enlisted, mom has barely left her room. I’m her only reason for living. She calls me every day, begging. Always begging. But, baby, I think of leaving this house and I get a little breathless. In the time when I need you most how can I leave all that is left of you? The floor you walked on, the sheets you slept in, the clothes you wore still hanging neatly off the hangers. Your blue prints just how you left them, red and green marks intact. I don’t want to leave, baby. But I don’t think I can bear my mother’s voice breaking over the phone anymore. Where are you?

I miss you. And I am so in love with you. So, so, so in love with every little detail that makes up that gorgeous picture that is you. I will always wait for you. Even if I am beyond this world. I will wait for you forever.

 

-The one who was born to belong only to you.

 

 

 

a/n: my longest chapter, whoo!! this is a little chaotic because our Jelly is losing it. I still haven't decided how i am going to end this, byt i have the next few chapters written out already? Are you guys liing it? please comment and subscribe!! pretty please!!! and look forward to our boys' comeback!!!!