“Yesterday, it was announced that AKB48 and the rest of the sister groups will come to an end. This year’s sousenkyou will be the last sousenkyou that AKB48 and the rest of the sister groups will hold. Fans across the world are shocked as their belov-“

I turn off the TV. Every single news network is broadcasting the sudden announcement. Being reminded of that announcement feels so painful even though it’s only been a day.

I can’t help but remember what Minako said to me last night. But for people like me who have never been ranked once and never been acknowledged for Senbatsu…it’s devastating. It feels hopeless. It’s very clear that I’ve never been in that situation. I’m the center. I have priority for Senbatsu. Other than the Janken singles, I’ve usually been center for everything.

I wish I knew what she was feeling.

Beep! I grab my phone from the nearby coffee table and see a text from Aya.

Want to meet up? The usual place.

Sure! Is 1:00 ok?

I leave the house and go to the café near the theater. When Aya and I were kenkyuusei we would always come here after practice and just talk about it, most of the time we would whine about not getting the choreography and that the instructor is too harsh. I didn’t think it was too bad but I saw Aya struggling so I thought whining to her might make her feel a little bit better. It worked. We became very close through constant complaining. It’s just that after we both got promoted, we hardly had any time to meet here anymore especially since we got pushed. After I became center, meeting here became virtually impossible.

When I enter the café I look around for Aya. I guess she isn’t here yet. I ask the waiter if I may sit near the window so I can see when Aya will come.

After about several minutes of waiting, I finally see Aya walking down the street. When she enters, I raise my hand in an attempt to get her attention. She doesn’t see me so I try to raise both hands. Aya still looks around and finally decides to ask for a table.

“AYA!” I stand up and smile. She looks over at me smiles and apologizes to the waiter.

“That was embarrassing! Please don’t shout anymore!”

“Well, I raised my hand both hands even! You still didn’t see me!”

“Maybe because you were behind a plant!”

We both laugh. Aya is the only member that I can talk to like this.

“It has certainly been a while since we both were here talking. It feels different somehow.”

“How so?”

“Perhaps because we’re older and less whiny.”

The waiter comes and takes our order. We both order tea. Back when we were kenkyuusei, the two of us would always order tea because it was the cheapest thing on the menu. Even though we’re rather well off now, we both still order tea because we’re either used to it or cheap.

“What did you think of the announcement?” Aya asks.

“I don’t know. I’m still in shock.” I say.

“I really thought we would leave the theater on a happy note especially after my announcement of being accepted into Tokyo University.”

“Congratulations by the way. I don’t think I’ve said it yet.”

“Thank you.”

The waiter comes and places our tea on the table. We thank the waiter and he leaves. I look at the tea and the tea looks different from when I was a kenkyuusei. Is it because I’m older? Or is it because I’m bothered by the announcement.

“I was going to announce my graduation this year.” Aya says. She stares at her tea and looks like she’s about to cry.

To me, this is even more shocking than the ending of AKB48. “Why?”

“Honestly, AKB48 was more of a hobby to me. I never really wanted to become famous. I thought I would have left before I even got promoted.” Aya takes a sip of her tea. “I always thought that I would be in the back row during performances and that I’ll never be in senbatsu.”

“But…?”

“I met you. You were so passionate about it and you were so encouraging to me. Even if we we’re whining you would always say ‘Don’t give up! You can do it! We can do it together’!” Aya laughs. “Even though I was whining because you were whining. If I wasn’t with you, I probably wouldn’t have given this a try. Thank you.”

“I also have a confession.”

“What is it?”

“I also was pretending to whine.”

“Really?!” Aya’s mouth opens wide. “Should I be offended?”

“No! Please don’t be.” I say while trying to hold in my laughter.

“I just saw you struggling and thought that if I whined, it would have made you feel better.” I tell her.

“You really did that for me?” Aya laughs. “I’m not sure how I feel about this.”

“It’s ok. Don’t worry about it. It’s done and now we’re best friends right?”

Aya laughs. For two hours, we both sit there talking about the announcement. What ranks we think we’d get and more importantly which graduates would participate. Throughout the whole conversation, we only sipped our tea twice. When we left the café our tea cups were still full of tea which was something we did during our kenkyuusei days.

“Do you think they mind?” Aya asks.

“I don’t think so. If they did, they would have complained to us by now plus we already paid. No reason to get mad right?”

Aya and I laugh. After saying goodbye, we go our separate ways.

After we graduate, I hope the two of us will always come to this café, order tea and just talk like we were AKB48 members.