[title track: one - beast ]

chapter 17;

Hyemi follows Kris through winding corridor after corridor. Baekhyun walks alongside her, his arm occasionally brushing against hers and sending tingles down her back. Hyemi scowls at the symbol etched into the back of Kris’s robes because Baekhyun really has become extremely distracting and it’s hard for her to concentrate. Her mother’s words always resonate with her but she’s not sure what to believe anymore. She believes Baekhyun is looking out for her.

Suddenly Kris comes to a halt in front of a set of tall double doors the color of shimmery gold. Hyemi looks up, her neck craning, as her eyes trace the tree-like decorations covering the door. It’s an intricate design of gold upon gold, threading and weaving until the door itself looks like it’s made of delicately woven golden cloth. Hyemi nearly falls backwards from her awe, falling open, and Baekhyun presses a hand into the curve of her back steadying her. She blushes at him and he shakes his head, rolling his eyes, the corner of his lips quirked upwards the tiniest bit. It’s distracting.

Kris knocks twice, in rapid succession, and the sound of his knuckles against the door echoes up and down the halls. Hyemi counts to three before the door creaks open, slowly, revealing opaque curtains that shimmer and sparkle in the dim light, rippling like water. Hyemi feels a strange heaviness in her bones and she feels drawn to this room, like there’s a rope attached to the pit of her stomach and someone’s tugging at it, pulling her forward. She steps forward, Baekhyun’s hand on her back slipping away, and her vision becomes hazy. She slowly steps through the curtain, surprised at how silky it feels against her face, and glances around in both surprise and awe.

She’s not indoors anymore. The room is a giant pavilion, gleaming white tiles expanding until it suddenly drops off into a soft red backdrop. A cliff, she realizes, is what the white tiles become, far off in the distance. Colorful oriental rugs line the floor in front of Hyemi, each a different color, some worn out from years of use and some bright and new. The ceiling is filled with floating crystal balls, flickering and dancing in the dim light. Hyemi can’t figure out how they’re floating along above her head, drifting from place to place, soft light emitting from each of them. There’s something incredibly enticing about the atmosphere and the more she observes the place, the more details she notices. It’s cluttered, not only with rugs but also with large multicolored cushions and delicate glass tables with intricately woven designs. Pillars surround the furniture, cutting off the room from the expanse of white pavilion in the distance. In the center, there’s a large metal cauldron the size of a bathtub in front of a soft leather couch. The couch is draped in blankets and Hyemi finds the place incredibly cozy, despite the fact that if she happened to walk away from all the couches and rugs and past the pillars, she’d end up surrounded by barren tile flooring until she eventually hovers over a cliff that overlooks a red horizon.

“Finally.” A low voice echoes through the room. There’s a slightly opaque paneled divider, soft velvet shawls decorated with intricate needlework and silver beads fluttering down the sides. A girl with long blonde hair steps out from behind the divider, a hand dragging through her hair as she studies Hyemi carefully, a single eyebrow cocked. Hyemi feels a hand at her elbow and remembers that Kris and Baekhyun are still with her. It’s hard to believe she didn’t somehow fall into another vision, especially since the room seems so otherworldly to her.

The girl in front of her is beautiful, her blonde hair tumbling to her shoulders. Her makeup is heavily done, one of her eyes lined thickly while the other eye is adorned by a black eyepatch. Hyemi stares at the eyepatch, even as the girl pushes her hair back out of her face, revealing a faint puckered scar that trails out from beneath her eyepatch and behind her ear. There’s something mysterious about her, something that makes Hyemi’s stomach churn, especially when her dark eyes linger on Hyemi, scrutinizing her.

“Amber, they’re here.” The girl says, her voice soft and tinkling. It sounds nothing like the previous voice. The girl releases Hyemi from her dark gaze, then, and Hyemi takes a deep, steadying breath. The blonde crosses her arms and glares at the couch. “What are you doing?”

A head of tussled blonde—Amber, Hyemi guesses—suddenly pops up from behind the couch, a pout directed at the irritable blonde looming over her. “I lost the bones under the couch.”

The tall blonde rolls her eyes. “Every ing time.”

Amber just smiles before hopping to her feet, fingers wrapped around something. While the tall blonde is dressed in a black skirt and soft knit black sweater, Amber is dressed in long shorts and a loose t-shirt, a black bandana in her hair. Amber’s kohl-lined eyes literally sparkle when they fall on Hyemi, Baekhyun, and Kris. Hyemi watches as Amber allows the boys a quick cursory glance, her gaze lingering for a second on Baekhyun before she settles on Hyemi. A slow smile breaks across her lips and Hyemi blinks, wondering why.

Amber’s eyes flicker to Hyemi’s left. “Took you long enough, Yifan.”

Kris makes a soft sound of annoyance. “I thought I told you to stop calling me that.”

Amber completely ignores him and Hyemi can’t help but grin at Amber’s attitude towards Kris (and his lack of admonishment when she doesn’t listen). When she glances over at Kris he shoots her a scowl in response to her amused expression. Instead, Amber returns her focus on Hyemi, “I never expected the vessel of the tree to be such a cute little thing.” Amber sounds curious, thoughtful. “Nothing like your mother.”

Hyemi blinks at that statement. This is the first time someone hasn’t compared her to her mother and it’s refreshing. “You knew my mother?” Hyemi asks, frowning. Amber looks too young to have known her mother and makes Hyemi wonder if maybe Amber is much older than she appears.

Amber shrugs noncommittally, her eyes sparkling as she grins. “More or less.” Hyemi watches as Amber falls back into the couch behind the giant caldron and crosses her feet beneath her. Her eyes drift from Hyemi to the boys behind her, still casually grinning. “Enough of that, though. I called Hyemi hear to talk about tree-related things.”

“Like what?” Kris asks from behind Hyemi. Hyemi jumps at the voice and wonders why she keeps zoning out in this room. She keeps forgetting her surroundings and the fact that she had come with people, the world slowing down around her.

“Things, Yifan.” Amber says, vaguely, “Stuff.”

She smiles at her words, still taking in her surroundings. The room smells like cinnamon and smoke and the hazy soft lighting leaves Hyemi feeling strangely melancholic. Amber’s voice is soft in the background, distant and soothing as the world around Hyemi drifts by rather hazily. Hyemi eyes the tall blonde girl carefully watching as she lights a few candles, her dark eyes flickering up to meet Hyemi’s every few minutes. She smirks and the way her lips curl up lazily leaves Hyemi full of wonder.

“If you think—”

“If you want to stay, then I need you to shush.” Amber glances to Hyemi’s right, her grin dropping into a tight frown. “But he has to go.”

“What? Me? Why?” Baekhyun’s voice cuts through Hyemi’s hazy thoughts and she immediately jolts, her eyes shooting opening. When had her eyes been drooping?

Amber  looks back and forth between Hyemi and Baekhyun, her eyes narrowing with each passing second. “Yeah.” Amber says, suddenly, shaking her head. “I need him out. And you, too, Yifan.”

Kris opens his mouth to say something but Amber turns her narrowed gaze on Kris and Kris all but blanches at the sight. “Fine. Just hurry up.” Kris says, before grabbing Baekhyun by the elbow and dragging him out of the room.

Hyemi watches Kris drag Baekhyun out of the room, the droopy feeling in her eyes returning. “What’s—What’s happening to me?” Hyemi asks, voice slurring.

Amber blinks at Hyemi before turning to the tall blonde sitting on the arm rest of the couch. Hyemi doesn’t remember when she had gotten there. “Is she supposed to be like this so soon?”

The girl shrugs, fiddling with her long hair.  Hyemi swears there’s movement beneath her eyepatch, despite the fact that she’s eyeing the ends of her hair with a bored expression. “I’m not the Oracle, Amber.” She says, patiently.

“Oh, true. That’s me.” Amber replies, grinning widely, her eyes sparkling.

“No way,” the girl’s voice is dripping with sarcasm, “It’s not Yifan? I thought it was Yifan.”

Hyemi watches the conversation go back and forth, her head swimming as their words seem to echo in her head.

“Yifan, of all people? Really?!” Amber makes a face at that and it appears strangely distorted to Hyemi. Amber places a hand over her chest and Hyemi swears she’s seeing double. “You’re lucky you’re cute, Soojung. I was almost offended there.”

“Funny.” Soojung replies in an unamused tone, crossing her legs.

Amber laughs, brightly, and Hyemi flinches at the loudness of it. It echoes in the recesses of her mind and she groans, crouching in her spot. “Oh~” She hears Amber exclaim from somewhere around her, her voice sounding as if it’s coming from the other side of a long tunnel. Before she can look up, a cold hand lands on her back, gently rubbing up and down. “Sorry about this.” Amber mumbles in Hyemi’s ear, her ice cold hand running down Hyemi’s spine almost soothingly. Hyemi’s head begins to pound and her wrist feels warm, cold shivers running up and down her spine.

She looks up at Amber, blinking at her in confusion, and Amber looks apologetic, her face close to Hyemi’s crouching figure. “What is going on?” Hyemi stumbles through her words, eyes fluttering and senses aflame. She feels pressure on her wrists that wasn’t there before but Amber isn’t even touching her wrists.

“This room is special.” Amber murmurs. Her eyes seem to darken significantly and Hyemi watches with both fascination and horror as Amber’s pupils begin to dilate, black creeping into the white parts of her eyes as veins trail back and forth like spider webs. “It’s a world of its own, really, a world full of truths and prophecies. People like you always succumb to its whims.”

Hyemi listens to her soft, raspy voice, her eyes fluttering shut. Dread chills her to the bones and Hyemi clings to her knees, groaning softly. Amber’s eyes are fully black now, like black holes that seems to swallow up Hyemi’s entire being. “Why am I…what’s…”

“Don’t worry,” Amber smiles with her teeth, her voice barely louder than a whisper as it tickles Hyemi’s ear. “I won’t hurt you. Not intentionally, at least. That’s not my thing.”

“That’s reassuring.” Hyemi mumbles, barely coherent. Amber seems to understand, though, because she breaks into a bemused chuckle.

“Cute and sarcastic.” Amber grins, her teeth sharp and her eyes dark as the night sky. She glances to Hyemi’s right and whispers loudly. “I like it. I want to keep her, Soo…”

“That’s not creepy at all.” The blonde girl, Soojung, snorts out. Amber wrinkles her nose at, who Hyemi presumes is, Soojung. Before Hyemi can mumble out her annoyance with their bickering when there’s obviously something very bad happening to her, a pair of soft hands gently cup Hyemi’s cheeks, turning her head to face the person. It’s Soojung, but Hyemi barely has a chance to think before searing pain and twists at her nerves, making her whimper. Hyemi tries to pull away from Soojung’s burning hands, tears springing to eyes. It feels like her face was set on fire. Amber murmurs words against Hyemi’s ear, her cool hand rubbing up and down her back. Hyemi doesn’t understand what the  is happening and she’s terrified.

“I know it hurts, but there’s no other way to get you to finally see.” Amber murmurs, softly. Hyemi’s visions swims with tears and she gasps for air that never quite comes. “Just look into Soojung’s eyes and give in to your mind.”

Amber’s hand looks disembodied as it floats into Hyemi’s sight. It pulls at Soojung’s eyepatch, lifting it back.

Staring back at Hyemi is a single glassy, blue eye, black pupil just a black pinprick surrounded by a sea of clear, sky blue. The eye doesn’t move, doesn’t blink, it just watches Hyemi. Hyemi can’t look away, her entire world trembling under Soojung’s gaze.

Soojung’s eye blinks once, moving so slowly, blue blinding, and Hyemi’s world goes dark.

~.~.~.~.~

Hyemi is surrounded by darkness, the sound of her own breathing loud against her ears. She feels confined, somehow unable to move as she squirms in her spot. The pressure on her wrists is painful and bruising, her loud, ragged breathing echoing all around her, as if it’s bouncing off the walls of wherever she is.

“Help.” She croaks out, voice scratchy from disuse. “Help! Someone…Anyone. Baekhyun? Please, help me!”

She twists and turns in the tiny, dark space, struggling against the unknown. She doesn’t know how long she fights to get out, how long she shouts for help. But with each passing minute, she grows even more exhausted. Her eyes grow heavy and she tries her best to stay awake. Her breathing slows, her heart rate slows, her entire being slows do—

“Hey!” A soft voice murmurs in her ear.

Hyemi’s eyes shoot open and she finds herself eye to eye with Amber, a grin still plastered across her face. Amber ducks down and eyes Hyemi’s wrists with curiosity. “Where am I?” Hyemi hisses, glaring at Amber.

“Hmm.” Amber takes a moment to pace and Hyemi wants to snap at her because why does Amber need to think when she brought Hyemi here in the first place? “A very dark place.” Amber responds eventually, tone confident.

Hyemi narrows her eyes at Amber’s thoughtfully amused expression. “Do you want me to smack you?”

“Hmm.” Amber raises an eyebrow, still fully black eyes glittering as she smirks suggestively. “Depends on where.”

Hyemi’s mouth drops open and before she can formulate a response that can get Amber to stop grinning and wiggling her eyebrows the way she is, another voice speaks, echoing all around them. It sounds disembodied, as if someone was speaking into an overhead microphone, “Stop being a ert, Amber.” It takes Hyemi a full minute to recognize the voice as Soojung’s.

Amber looks upwards and pouts, “I was just having fun.” She shouts at the sky before turning on her heels. She takes pity on Hyemi’s confused expression though, “Soojung’s watching over us. She’s there to ruin my fun and pull us out if we get into any…problems.”

“Problems?” Hyemi repeats, cautiously.

Amber looks strangely solemn then, shadows casting across her face. “You wanted to know what this place was, right?”

Hyemi nods, slowly, watching Amber expectantly.

Amber spreads her arms, as if she’s here to show Hyemi the world. “Well, this is our first stop and it will be your last.” Amber sighs, her expression morphing into bitter exhaustion. She drops her arms to her sides and blinks. “This is a grave.”

It’s silent as Hyemi processes that information, her breathing growing unsteady.

“Is it…is it mine?” Hyemi whispers, barely able to make it through her words.

Amber looks genuinely apologetic when she shakes her head. “See, that’s the thing.” She wraps a cold hand around Hyemi’s bound wrists, fingers curling around the limb carefully. Amber throws Hyemi a long look, her black eyes piercing. “It isn’t your grave, but it is your last stop.”

Hyemi’s eyebrows furrow in confusion, even as the image of Amber melts before her eyes and she’s plunged into darkness again.

~.~.~.~.~

A moment later, Hyemi’s tumbling headfirst into cold, hard dirt and she groans in pain as she gets a mouthful of dried grass. She clutches her face and tries to soothe the throbbing.

Amber lands delicately on her toes right beside Hyemi.

“Thanks for the warning.” Hyemi snaps, too confused and annoyed to care about being nice.

“No problem.” Amber chirps back, cheerily.

Hyemi just brushes dried grass off her , grumbling as she takes in her surroundings.

They’re in a graveyard, the sun shining high in the sky as fluffy white clouds drift by. This isn’t Exo Planet, she realizes as she studies the sky above her, her eyes following the white clouds she’s grown up with. This is Earth. It looks strange to her now. The wind blows softly and Hyemi wraps her arms around her torso as she finally brings her gaze to the object in front of her.

A chipped and grey tombstone stands up to her waist. A bouquet of blood red roses lay at the base, some of the petals wilting into a soft brown. Dark green grass sprouts from the plot in front of the tombstone, curling way past the regulated amount.

Hyemi stares at it, her head pounding. “Why is it blank?” She whispers. There’s no need to whisper, but there’s something about graveyards that had always made her want to keep her voice low and her visits short.

“You can’t see it?” Amber asks, eyes widening in disbelief before they narrow with annoyance. “They’ve still got influence over you. Even here. Of course.” Amber mumbles the last part to herself, obviously exasperated.

“Should I be able to see it? What does it say?” Hyemi asks, stepping closer to the tombstone in hopes of catching something. There’s nothing there, the face of the grave perfectly smooth.

“It says…” Amber trails off, her voice caught in . Hyemi looks up at her, from where she’s crouched in front of the tombstone, and Amber looks red, her black eyes bulging slightly. After a moment, she takes a deep breath and groans, grumbling under her breath. “I can’t say.”

Hyemi narrows her eyes as she peers up at Amber. “Is this some kind of game to you? Why can’t you tell me?”

“They won’t let me.” Amber says, sighing. “I can bypass a lot of powers, but not this time. They won’t let me.”

Hyemi thinks of what Kris has told her, about the people coming for her; them. “Is this…are you talking about Yeonma?”

Amber just nods, a strange look in hers as she sighs before twirling her fingers. Hyemi feels a rush of cold air converge upon her before she falls into darkness for a third time.

~.~.~.~.~

Hyemi wakes up and immediately thrashes for air. She’s wet and it’s cold and barely manages to surface from freezing cold water, breathing hard, her hair plastered to her face. Her teeth chatter as she looks up. Amber’s grinning down at her from where she’s seated, cross-legged, on a giant rock.

“You really need to stop doing that.” Hyemi gasps out, shivering in the river. Amber pats the rock beside her and watches Hyemi haul herself up onto the rock beside Amber, trembling when cool air hits her wet skin. Hyemi pulls at her wet clothes and glares at Amber, unabashedly angry.

“Hey,” Amber says, shrugging a little, “Don’t blame me. I’m not the one pushing us through different visions.” Then Amber winks at Hyemi, “Soojung is the jealous type, unfortunately. Don’t take it too personally.”

“Too late.” Hyemi mumbles, crossing her arms, and Amber laughs, patting her back heartily.

Before Amber can respond there’s a pair of voices drifting through the otherwise silent night. Hyemi looks up and observes two girls sitting by the riverbank. One of them is floating in the air, seated in a chair. Hyemi blinks multiple times, trying to figure out what exactly she’s seeing. The chair resembles a wheelchair, but there are no wheels, it just floats a bit off the ground, hovering over the riverbank. The girl seated in the floating wheelchair looks extremely delicate, her eyebrows thick and her face tiny. She’s pale and her eyes are a strange silver color. Her features are familiar to Hyemi but she can’t put a finger on it. Hyemi’s eyes drift to the girl beside the one in the wheelchair and she immediately recognizes her as Asha, Hyemi’s mother. Asha is taller now, but significantly thinner than Hyemi had last seen her. She looks exhausted, the planes of her face instantly turning down into a blank expression whenever the other girl averts her attention. The two of them are skipping rocks across the river, Asha’s rocks skidding over the river’s surface until it hits a tree on the opposite side while the other girl’s get about halfway down the river.

Hyemi looks over at Amber, her expression distant as she watches the girls with Hyemi. Amber snaps her fingers and suddenly Hyemi can hear what they’re saying.

“I’m worried about Sungyeol, Asha.” The other girl whispers, her voice just as fragile as her features. Hyemi wonders if she’s sick; she just looks so fragile. “He comes to bed late, he’s skipped out on dinner with me so many times…I miss him.”

The next rock Asha skips across the river barely makes it two skips before drowning. Asha’s face pales significantly and Hyemi can see the resemblance between herself and her mother, right then. It makes her heart twist the tiniest bit. “What’s there to worry about, Jia?” Asha murmurs, a note of contempt in her tone. “He’s a busy heir to our throne.”

“I know. I just. I’m like this,” Jia gestures at herself, at the contraption holding her up. She sounds so timid, so sad. “I wonder if…I can’t give him everything he wants. I can’t even walk.”

Asha stops throwing rocks and swivels on her heels, her hands on her hips. Hyemi’s engrossed by her movements, by the barely hidden desperation in her eyes. “He loves you. He loves you a lot. Don’t ever doubt yourself because of his actions.” Asha speaks sharply, her eyes growing distant even as she stares straight into Jia’s eyes.

“We both know that’s not true.” Jia’s tone is airy, but there’s a new kind of edge to it. There’s an edge to her tone that even makes Asha’s eyes snap back down to her. Then Jia exhales louds, fiddling with the rock in her hands. “I know he’s sleeping with other women.”

“A king does whatever he pleases.” Asha murmurs, her expression perfectly neutral as she raises her brow. “But he chose to marry you, didn’t he? At the end of the day, he’ll always come back to you.” Asha tells her, voice soft. “Remember that.”

“I suppose.” Jia throws her rock, watching as it skips all the way across the bank. “He never forgets to tell me he loves me. I just—”

“You just think too much?” Asha finishes for her, rolling her eyes. “You’re still the same Jia, whether you can walk or not. You’re still my beautiful, strong, best friend. He’d be an even bigger idiot not to love you.”

Jia smiles at the river. It’s quiet for a moment, the river sloshing against the rocks. “Does it not upset you, Asha?”

“What does?” Asha’s eyes, the same ones Hyemi has, flashes nervously as she looks over at Jia.

Jia stares at her, still smiling serenely. “Like you said, we’re best friends.” Jia tilts her head. “I’m not an idiot.”

“Jia, what—”

“I know of every woman he sleeps with.” Jia’s eyes glint in the sun and the rocks in Asha’s hand spill to the ground with a chorus of thuds. It’s quiet for a long moment before Jia bites out her sentences, expression taut. “But, like you said, at the end of the day, he’ll always come back to me. I wonder if that upsets you.” Jia tilts her head to the side, eyes scanning Asha. “I wonder why you didn’t tell me. Why was he the one who told me, huh, best friend?”

Asha doesn’t reply, her fingers trembling, and Jia doesn’t wait for an answer. She floats away in her wheelchair, her expression cold as stone. Slowly, Asha shakes her head and sinks to her knees.

Hyemi watches as the mossy grass around Asha seems to caress her feet, growing in length all around her. The forest seems to sway behind her; the river’s current churning in Asha’s direction. Hyemi hears the faintest of whimpers and Hyemi’s heart tightens at the sight of her mother.

~.~.~.~.~

For once, Hyemi isn’t being thrown into a river or slammed into the ground. She finds herself standing upright, Amber at her elbow. She’s staring at the base of a gigantic tree, one that she’d know anywhere, despite having seen it in person just once. The Tree of Life is glowing with power, pulsing beneath Hyemi’s palm, and Hyemi feels an unexplainable need to protect it, to nurture the tree.

She doesn’t know when she had placed her palms on the tree.

Amber stands by her side, her blonde hair falling into her black eyes. She looks strangely solemn and Hyemi knows that’s very uncharacteristic of her, despite barely knowing her. Hyemi turns to her, hands still on the rough tree trunk.

“How did you know my mother?” Hyemi asks, softly.

Amber turns her head to the side and stares at Hyemi, her eyes resembling black holes. They leave Hyemi feeling unsettled because they seem to hold so many secrets in them. “My past self, the oracle before me, used to be one of her closest confidantes.”

Hyemi stares at Amber, processing the new information, before she turns back to the tree. Her palms feel warm against the trunk and she can feel energy pulsing through the tree, through the planet, and into her body. She’s giving the tree energy while she receives energy; it’s a mutual sort of connection. “My mother was miserable.” Hyemi states, eventually.

“Some would say she suffered for the greater good.” Amber replies, “Some would say it was a great honor bestowed upon her.”

Hyemi tips her head back and stares up at the branches and leaves towering above her. The leaves have a golden shimmer to them, gently glinting against the night sky. Anger boils up in her chest and she feels overwhelmed with emotion. Something in her snaps, right then, and she can’t stop thinking, analyzing. “Was it a great honor, then, to be forced into a life she didn’t want?” Hyemi’s voice shakes with anger, despite how quiet it is. “To be forced into doing things she never wanted to do? To live as a weapon? As a belonging?”

“Some people would say yes.” Amber murmurs, “Once she broke free, this world was destroyed. If millions of people can live in comfort at the expense of one person’s happiness, then what does it matter?”

“You’re right. It’s just one person. What does it matter?” Hyemi repeats, resentfully, her fingers curling into fists, the rough bark of the tree scraping at her hands. “The vessel lives in misery, so the rest of this planet can be happy again. Is that how it always goes?”

“I never said it was a fair system.” Amber reminds her, “I never said it was right. But then again, when is anything for the greater good ever universally fair and morally just? It’s a code. It means someone will have to suffer, but it will not be the majority.”

“I guess that’s the whole point of this, then.” Hyemi watches as her fingers start to merge beyond the tree trunk’s surface, her fingers growing cooler and cooler as her hands are slowly engulfed by the tree. She feels a bitter sort of anger in the pit of her stomach. “I’m here to carry out the tradition my mother had broken, aren’t I? To return order?”

“You were born to be a vessel to the tree. You were born to be a weapon.” Amber says, gently. “I’m sorry.”

She sounds so genuinely sorry, like this hurts her more than Hyemi could ever imagine. Maybe it does, but Hyemi doesn’t care.

Hyemi’s mind is buzzing with so many thoughts, so many memories stored away deep within the tree of life. The tree of life is irony at its finest; it’s commended for sustaining life, while slowly killing its vessel. It cannot continue living without simultaneously killing and Hyemi could laugh at the irony of it all. Instead she feels like crying and screaming and tearing something apart.

Hyemi eyes Amber, gaze flickering over her sad expression. Words spill out of and she doesn’t bother censoring her realizations and thoughts anymore. “And you were born to be the vessel’s confidante, weren’t you? You were born to watch them become weapons and keep them as weapons.”

Amber just smiles, sadly, serenely. “I never wanted this either.”

“It doesn’t matter whether you wanted it or not. Not when it’s for the greater good.” Hyemi snaps back, mockingly, frowning when she notices her wrists are completely engulfed in the tree.

Something inside of her just breaks at the sight. She doesn’t like this. She doesn’t agree with this and she doubts Amber does, either. She wants out now. Her breathing grows ragged as she stares and stares and stares at the trunk of the tree. A strange tickling sensation trickles up her wrists, warmth spreading through her body and flooding her veins. Her head starts to spin and she feels lightheaded, her fingers burning with the confines of the tree.

“Don’t.” Amber’s voice sounds like it’s a thousand miles away, her cold hand landing on Hyemi’s shoulder and squeezing it in warning.

Hyemi shrugs it off, her eyes fluttering. Her knees buckle with the sudden onslaught of warmth and energy coursing through her body. A web of glinting gold light begins to slither down her arms and up the bark of the tree, as if her arms and the tree are all cracking from the inside. Hyemi winces in discomfort when her arms start to throb. The golden threads of energy begin to pulse against the tree, the cracks growing wider and wider and wider. She hears voices in her head, a million different voices all screaming.

The pressure in against her head brings her to her knees, but her arms are within the tree. She stares at the golden light threading and weaving down her arms and up the trunk of the tree. Bright white flashes in her eyes and her body temperature rapidly switches between hot and cold and she’s can’t breathe, she can’t—

“When will you stop making all these wrong decisions, sweetheart?” That voice echoes in her head, a million different tones and pitches intertwined into one ethereal voice that sends shivers down her spine.

She’s back where she was in the beginning, surrounded by darkness and confined in such a tiny space that she’s barely able to move a muscle. Amber is gone and Hyemi has a feeling she’s ed something up big time.

“Yeonma.” She murmurs, eyes searching for the source of that voice.

It’s silent then, so silent that Hyemi holds her breath, waiting, anticipating.

A hand clutches at Hyemi’s jaw, fingers as cold as ice as it digs sharp nails into her skin. She lets out a whimper and it chuckles, breathily. It feels like the owner of this voice is breathing down her neck and she finds herself exhaling shakily in order to calm down. “Ah, that’s such an old name. We’ve forgotten it.” Hyemi thrashes in their grip and they twist her back into place. “Open your pretty eyes for us, sweetheart.”

Hyemi squeezes her eyes shut and the grip becomes painfully tight. The voice is soft, almost familiar despite all the different pitches and tones. “That wasn’t a suggestion”

For some reason, Hyemi can’t ignore its orders. She opens her eyes, slowly, carefully. She’s met by a pair of blood red eyes inches from her face. They don’t blink; they just watch her, pupil barely there, a pinprick of black in a sea of blood. Hyemi’s breath catches in and she tries to pull away. The grip on her face pulls her closer.

“Your fear is so delicious. If only you’d make the right decisions, so we could get a proper taste.”

“Wh—what are you talking about?” Hyemi stutters and stumbles over her words, revulsion ad fear coursing through her veins.

Boom. Boom. Boom.

Hyemi jumps at the sounds of banging, but the grip doesn’t let up, it only gets tighter, bruising her jaw. “It seems are time is up, lovely.” The blood red eyes search hers and she’s unable to look away. “What a pity, we were just getting started.”

A cold hand digs into the nape of her neck and she squeezes her eyes shut, “St—stop.”

“Hmm. You’ll look so beautiful when we ruin you. Now go, delicious. Destroy them.”

Hyemi can hear the voice laughing at her and when Yeonma — Yan Wang, Death, whatever its name is—lets go of her, relief courses through her, her heart pumping in her chest and knocking against her ribs.

~.~.~.~.~

Hyemi awakes to the sweet scent of cinnamon and someone continuously patting her cheeks. Hyemi’s eyes shoot open and she sits up so quickly, she nearly smacks her face into Amber’s.

Hyemi’s lying on the floor, Amber at her side and patting Hyemi’s cheeks. Soojung sits cross-legged on her other side, eyepatch back on as she eyes Hyemi with narrowed eyes.

“Oh, good, you’re awake.” Amber says, with a purse of her lips. Her eyes are back to normal, the white parts visible again.

Hyemi stares at her in disbelief. Before Hyemi can respond, Soojung interrupts, her tone quiet but stern. “What the hell was that?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” Hyemi retorts, groaning as she fully sits up, pushing Amber’s hands away from her face.

“You tried to blow up the tree.” Soojung accuses, pointedly. “Do you understand what you could ha—?”

“Soojung.” Amber cuts her off, tone unusually stern.

“You’re not going to tell her off? You know visions are intertwined with reality.”

“They didn’t let her blow it up.” Amber makes a face at Soojung, rolling her eyes. “They would never let that happen.”

“Obviously.” Soojung grumbles, wrinkling her nose. “I was there during the whole conversation.”

“Wait.” Hyemi glances from Soojung to Amber and back again. “You were there? You saw who that voice belonged to?”

“You still don’t know?” Amber’s mouth drops open.

“No.” Hyemi furrows her eyebrows, crossing her arms. “Why can’t you just tell me?”

“They won’t let us. I physically cannot tell you.” Amber sighs and hops up to her feet. “I thought we already covered this.”

“Sorry I don’t remember that particular bit of information.” Hyemi retorts, standing up as well. She crosses her arms and practically growls out her words. “I was too busy with the whole ‘born to be a weapon’ bit. Also the traumatizing disembodied voice bit, too.”

Amber’s eyes flicker between Hyemi and Soojung before settling on Soojung. She helps Soojung up to her feet, a smile on her face. “Are you sure we can’t keep her? Listen to her.” Amber stage-whispers in Soojung’s ear.

“No.” Soojung crosses her arms. Hyemi rolls her eyes.

Amber pouts at Soojung adorably, bottom lip jutting out. Hyemi sighs. “I’ll just let myself out, I guess.”

“Send Kris in after you.” Amber calls after Hyemi. There’s something about these visions that has Hyemi feeling completely off. She feels like she has each foot in two different realities and it’s seriously messing with her head. “And Hyemi?” She half turns on her heels, glancing at Amber over her shoulder. Amber’s eyes glint, a flash of black appearing before it disappears right after. “Your mother was a brave woman.”

Hyemi nods, but doesn’t answer. She already knew that.

“She saved herself and I admire her for that.” Amber smiles, seemingly deep in thought. Soojung stares at Amber carefully. “Now it’s your turn. Don’t forget what your mother told you. Don’t trust anyone.”

Hyemi raises an eyebrow at that. “Not even you?”

“Especially me.” Amber grins with her teeth, faint black veins webbing along the whites of her eyes.

~.~.~.~.~

The moment Hyemi steps into the hall, she feels a steady sort of rage settle in her bones. She’s angry. She’s angry because of what happened to her mother. She’s angry because everything Amber had said points to one definite fact and it makes her ing pissed.

“Woah.” Baekhyun’s voice is soft and careful, even as she stomps right past him and Kris. He grabs her by the wrist and pulls her to a stop before she can away. She just stares straight ahead, forcing herself to calm down. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Baekhyun murmurs, the rough pad of his thumb tracing along the inside of her wrist.

That’s when more of her snaps. That’s when she swivels on her heels and turns to face him. She’s tired, she realizes, and she’s furious. “You lied to me.” Hyemi hisses. She tries to yank her arm out of his grip but he holds her there, his eyes widening slightly.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m not going home, am I?” Hyemi states, bitterly. “I was never supposed to go home. You just made empty promises so you could get me here. And now that I’m here, I’m stuck, aren’t I? I’m not allowed to leave, not if you want the tree to live again.”

A flurry of emotions flickers across Baekhyun’s face. Meanwhile, Kris tilts his head to the side, apparently amused by all this. Baekhyun drags his free hand through his hair and suddenly she’s pulled even closer to him, his grip on her wrist gentle yet strong. His eyes search hers and he’s so close to her. But this time, she doesn’t let her anger deflate. He lied to her. She’d always had an inkling that they were lying when they said she would be able to go home, but now it’s definite. She’s stuck here. Now she’s facing the truth and she’s scared. She’ll never see her father or Minah or any of her friends ever again. “At the time, I was telling you the truth.” Baekhyun mumbles, his voice soft and soothing.

She glares at him, anger pulsing through her veins. “I don’t believe you.” Hyemi pushes at his chest but he doesn’t budge one bit. Jongin had told her not to make promises she couldn’t keep after she had spoken to Minah. She should have known. She shouldn’t have trusted them so blindly.

“It’s true.” Baekhyun leans closer, so he’s looking right into her eyes, and she can’t make herself look away. He closes his eyes and sighs deeply, his breath hitting her face. “I genuinely thought you’d be allowed back. Eventually.”

“Eventually?” Hyemi repeats, through her teeth. “Are you ing kidding me? When exactly is eventually to you? Three years? Three decades? When I’m dead?”

Baekhyun pales suddenly, as if she’s just slapped him. His tone surprises her. It comes out soft and choked, apologetic. “I don’t want you to die in here.” There’s something about his tone, his demeanor, that throws Hyemi off. There’s something so much more present about him at that moment, as if she’s suddenly seeing a clearer picture of him. “I don’t want that, Hyemi. I don’t.”

“But I will die here. If I don’t figure out a way to get the hell out of this planet, I will die here.” Hyemi exclaims, exasperated. “And it’s your fault.”

The hurt in Baekhyun’s eyes is the most surprising of all. His face is so clear to her, so open right then, and he easily catches her gaze in his, holding her steady with an alarming amount of hurt in his eyes. “You always say that.” Baekhyun murmurs and Hyemi can tell he’s referring to so much more than what they’re currently arguing about.

“It is, isn’t it?” Hyemi finds herself prickling at the hurt in his eyes, growing defensive at the fact that she’s the reason it’s there. It’s not her fault, by any means, but it hurts to see her best friend of many years crumble in front of her because of what she’s saying. But she can’t stop her words because she’s angry. Something bubbles up in her chest then, something destructive, and all she can focus on is the way his eyes are wavering as he looks her. “If you hadn’t shown up after years of being gone with empty promises and mysterious ing riddles, then I wouldn’t be here. If you hadn’t shown up in my life in the first place, I would have never agreed to come here with you. I wouldn’t be here.”

“They would have sent for you anyway. They would have used force, Hyemi.” Baekhyun’s eyes are unfocused as he speaks, his tone soft.

“I’d rather have that over you lying to me over and over and over again.” Hyemi practically shrieks, tossing Baekhyun’s arm off of her, her breathing going ragged. Her chest rises and falls in anger and betrayal and a million other emotions. “I’d rather have someone drag me out here half-dead over you talking me into trusting you and forgiving you and caring about you again, just to find out that you’re lying to me. Again.”

Hyemi’s voice feels raw and that’s when she realizes she’s speaking loudly, that she’s holding back tears and she’s shaking with anger. Something in Baekhyun’s eyes shatter, then, and he looks away, jaw tensing in that way of his she always found so mesmerizing. “I…I didn’t know.” Baekhyun whispers, tone tired, “I honestly didn’t know you wouldn’t be able to go back when you asked. I swear I didn’t.”

“But you found out later, didn’t you?” Hyemi asks, tone sharp. Baekhyun nods and dread swirls at the pit of her stomach. “I just.” Hyemi’s voice shakes with anger, emotions flooding her entire being. “I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to live the way my mother did.”

Baekhyun reaches out to her and white hot rage flashes in her eyes. Baekhyun immediately recoils away and Hyemi’s glad he’s not touching her. “Hyemi…” He tries to touch her again and anger bubbles up in her chest. That’s all he ever does; touch her, kiss her, until she falls into compliance and then he lies to her.

“Don’t touch me.” Hyemi shouts, and that’s when she notices Baekhyun skid back along the castle corridors, his back slamming into the wall with a loud thud. That’s when she notices the gashes running down his bare forearms, when she suddenly finds her anger deflating and horror overwhelming her. She inhales sharply, watching as Baekhyun is slammed up against the wall, the wall behind him slowly caving in as he’s shoved into it. Blood trickles down his arms and her breath catches in .

No. She thinks, blinking rapidly. Oh God, no.

The voice in her head is devastatingly loud, bouncing through her thoughts and making her crumble in on herself. “Destroy them, sweetheart. Let us ruin you.”

She can’t breathe, then, as she tries to stop herself from hurting Baekhyun. She might be pissed at him, but she doesn’t want to hurt him like this. She can’t hurt him like this, she can’t hurt anyone.

Stop.

“Stop.” Another voice is at her ear and it vaguely sounds like Baekhyun, but more commanding. She doesn’t understand how that’s possible, but it manages to calm her down. Baekhyun is at her ear. He’s not being crushed into a wall. She’s not hurting him. She repeats this to herself until the tight feeling in her chest loosens and she’s able to breathe again.

When she opens her wet eyes and lifts her head, Baekhyun is sitting across the hall, limp against the wall. The world is quiet, a soft buzzing sound reverberating all around her. The ground where she’s curled up is a mess, the walls above her crumbling. There’s a Baekhyun-shaped hole above him.

She can feel eyes on her. She turns to her side and Kris is standing there, a gigantic winged beast hovering over him protectively, it’s horns digging into the ceiling of the corridors. He’s staring at her with the blankest of expressions, his eyes flickering between Hyemi and Baekhyun’s barely conscious form.

His eyes convey what he wants to say. She’s a monster. Hyemi is a monster. She clutches her knees closer to her chest.

Without a word, Kris turns on his heels and walks away, his winged beast’s large, dark eyes lingering on her for a moment, a growl leaving its mouth, before it disappears into a wisp of smoke.

After a long, long moment of just staring, Hyemi wobbles to her knees and crawls over to Baekhyun. She hesitates. She’s afraid she’ll somehow hurt him more. Her palm hovers over his cheek before she gently pushes his dark hair out of his eyes. His eyes flicker open, gaze hazy, and she surveys the way blood drips from the deep gashes on his arms, how she can hear his ragged breathing.

“I’m sorry.” She whispers, tears forming in her eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

Slowly, Baekhyun comes to life before her. He sits up against the wall, leaning his head into her palm. He shakes his head, his eyes closed. “No. You were…right.” Baekhyun mumbles into her palm. She his face, her other hand reaching behind his waist. “I shouldn’t have lied to you.”

“I’m a monster.” She whispers, her voice cracking. Baekhyun’s eyes shoot open and he manages a weak glare. “I couldn’t control myself and I hurt you.”

“Don’t.” Baekhyun mumbles, voice slurring a bit. He sits up more and she doesn’t know when exactly he managed to snuggle into her, but she finds that she doesn’t mind. Especially because he seems to relax against her, breathing still so ragged. “Don’t call yourself that. Please. You’re not a monster. Nobody is ever a monster.” He sounds pained and she wonders if it’s because of her words or because of what she’s done to him.

“I’m sorry,” She repeats, leaning close as she pushes more hair out of his eyes.

He kisses the palm of her hand, comfortingly, and she blushes, turning away a bit. It reminds her of the times he’d drunkenly curl up against her back in the day, how she’d never be able to figure out why her own heart would be so irregularly when he’d leave a flurry of kisses against her forehead, giggling all the while. He reaches up and threads his fingers through hers, squeezing her fingers gently, but all she can think about is the sticky blood covering his hands. “Don’t be.” He murmurs, just as Kyungsoo and Chanyeol appear around the corner, shock and concern filling their faces. “Please don’t beat yourself up over this.”

Chanyeol reaches out and pulls the two of them up to their feet, his eyes flickering over Hyemi’s face before he focuses on Baekhyun, fussing over him. Chanyeol separates them and hauls Baekhyun on to his back, carrying him away.

Hyemi doesn’t notice that she’s crying, guilt hitting her like a brick wall as she watches Baekhyun slump into the crook of Chanyeol’s neck, Chanyeol cracking jokes that sound forcefully happy even to Hyemi’s ears, until Kyungsoo silently slips a hand into hers and leads her away from the mess she’s made.

~.~.~.~.~

“I want to see the king.” Hyemi tells Kyungsoo, just after he’s helped her get settled into bed. He’s leaning down to shut the bedside lamp off when she finally speaks.

He pauses and turns to her, studying her expression.

And then he nods, solemnly.

“Okay.”

a/n: i should be updating good girls but i couldn't stop thinking about this fic because of that beast song (which doesn't make any sense because that beast song is far from angsty oh my god). so here i am....

i need to head off to work but thank you thank you THANK YOU to everyone who has subscribed to this story and commented and i read and respond to everything because i love you all holy . 

CALL ME BABY IS SO GOOD I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO GUSH ABT IT ON HERE YET. I've been swerving out of my lane bc of it lmao

remember to tell me your thoughts and theories and i love you all so much. your comments are my favorite things to read :) i can't believe this omg

xoxo