Alienated
f o u r t y t h r e e w o r d s
[[ a/n: ^this is not real i made it with photoshop ]]
I was always told time alienates people, because with time comes change. As our lives go off in different directions, people separate and lose touch with one another. Some people leave your life for good, while others reappear when you least expect it.
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December 2023
"Have a safe and fun winter break," Chanhee called to his students as they filed out of the class room, slipping his laptop inside his bag. Some of them called back well-wishes and waved goodbye to their professor. Chanhee was saddened to see the kids go; they had been one of his best classes and today had been the last time he would teach most of them.
He left the classroom door open when he left since a different class would be taught there in a an hour, and made his way out of the building.
Chanhee had been happily surprised at what a joy teaching was for him. Being a vocal instructor, he saw a younger version of himself in many of his students; whenever one of them succeeded, it was almost like he was reliving his idol days all over again. Even though things were significantly different from when he had been a student there – everything was done by computers nowadays – he still had a sense of belonging whenever he walked the halls of Hanyang University.
Pulling the collar of his jacket closed to protect as much of his skin from the cold air as possible, Chanhee began his usual route to the subway.
He was thirty-one now, nothing too special or out-of-the-ordinary happened to him these days. That's why he didn't think anything of accidentally brushing into someone's shoulder on the busy sidewalk – and why he was even more surprised when they grabbed his arm and called him a name he hadn't been called in over eight years, with a voice he hadn't heard in nearly just as long.
"Chunji?"
The professor turned back and blinked his eyes wide at the sight of the other man standing before him, for he could recognize that face, those eyes, anywhere.
"C-Cap-hyung?"
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"Time, which changes people, does not alter the image we have retained of them." ~Marcel Proust
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Eight years. It's been eight years since they've seen each other's faces. Chanhee couldn't even describe the emotions flooding through his chest right now. Here, out of the blue, was his old band mate and best friend – who, aside from his hair color, hadn't changed one bit.
After a jovial hug in the middle of the crowded sidewalk, they both agreed that this reunion should move to a more private setting – so they headed to the nearest bar to catch up over drinks.
"How have you been, Cap-hyung?" Chanhee asked a bit too excitedly, holding his glass on the table with both hands. "We all lost track of you after your stint in the military."
Minsoo smirked slightly down at the table, his eyes narrowing in the way they always used to, and swirled the liquid around in his glass. "After my two-year I traveled around a bit to study design. Japan, Thailand, New Zealand – even spent eleven months in New York getting acquainted with their underground rap scene. But back in '20 I got hired by a tattoo parlor down in Itaewon and I've been there ever since." He took a long swig from his glass then raised it out to motion to Chanhee and pointed at him with his finger. "But what about you, mister suit and tie? Last I heard, your latest single was climbing the charts and you were getting ready to start filming your next drama."
Chanhee chuckled and glanced down at his drink, shifting in his seat, "My idol days have long been over." He tapped his finger against his glass. "I did my two-year about a year after you got out, then I went back to school and now I'm currently working at Hanyang University in their Practical Music Faculty as a vocal coach." He grinned and made eye contact. "And…I just recently got engaged to my girlfriend of three years."
The older male paused mid-sip at the last sentence, then quickly forced the burning alcohol down his throat and set his glass back down. "Oh really? Do you have a picture of the future Mrs. Lee?"
With a light smile on his lips, Chanhee reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet where he kept a picture of him and his fiancé. He opened it and handed it to Minsoo. "Her name is Park Hyo Jung."
Minsoo took a few moments to look at the photograph, a smirk on his lips. "Congratulations," he handed the wallet back. "She suits you ."
Chanhee's eyes sparkled as he looked at the picture as well before putting it away. "Gomawo, Cap-hyung."
"Yah!" Minsoo reached out and smacked Chanhee's arm lightly, furrowing his brow. "We haven't seen each other in over eight years and you dare speak to me so informally?!"
The younger man's eyes blinked repeatedly. "A-Ah, Mianhaeyo…," he hung his head.
"I'm kidding, Chunji-ah~" Minsoo said as he threw the other the same charming smirk from all those years ago. "I just wanted to see if you were as gullible as you used to be."
The professor slit his eyes at the male sitting beside him but had a small smile on his lips nonetheless. He reached out to smack the other's arm like he had done to him not even a minute earlier, but Minsoo, having seen this action coming, reached out and caught Chanhee's wrist before it could make contact.
"Yup," Minsoo smirked once again. "Still the same skinny little punk you were eight years ago."
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"We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves." ~Lynn Hall
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It was dark out by the time the two old friends decided they had better head home. They held hands as they walked the now quiet streets, as most male friends in Seoul did when they were slightly tipsy.
"You know, I used to have crush on you all those years ago," Minsoo said suddenly, his warm breath coming out in white clouds as it hit the cold air. And Chanhee chuckled.
"We all had crushes on one another at some point, Hyung. Management made us."
A beat of silence passed between the two males before Minsoo's voice broke it with a sentence Chanhee wasn't expecting to hear.
"But I think the one I had on you was real."
The younger male stopped in his tracks, causing the other to stop as well, and stared wide eyed at the older man that had just confessed to him. His heart fluttered.
"…Mwo?!"
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"There is no surprise more magical than the surprise of being loved." ~Charles Morgan
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"Y-You had a… real crush on me?" Chanhee stuttered, suddenly becoming hyper aware of Minsoo's hand holding his own.
"Mmm," Minsoo hummed softly with a slight nod, not breaking eye contact.
Chanhee swallowed a lump, his heart pounding in his ears. "D…Do…A-Are you…--?"
"Gay?" Minsoo finished the younger's question then shrugged nonchalantly. "D'know. I've only ever dated girls—" he began to swing their hands gently back and forth. " —but I still get that same warm feeling when I'm next to you that I used to get all those years ago."
Chanhee felt his face flush; he was at a loss for words. Thankfully, Minsoo still had a few left.
"Don't worry, I know you're not into guys."
The breath Chanhee hadn't realized he had been holding left his lungs in the form of a sigh. "Thank you—"
"But could I at least kiss you once?"
"…I—"
"Just as a form of closure. Then we can go on like nothing ever happened."
Chanhee wet his lips and blamed the alcohol in his system for his limbs not moving him away when Minsoo stepped closer.
-
Breath was knocked from his lungs when Minsoo slammed his back up against the wall. His eyes were misty and his lips were bruised from all the kisses. But when Minsoo's lips were slammed back onto his, Chanhee readily battled them with his own. Their tongues intertwining and tasting each other, their lungs filling with the other's breath.
No longer in Chanhee's mind was his job, his students, his reputation, or his fiancé – just Minsoo. Only Minsoo. And how ing good of a kisser he was.
"Just one night," Minsoo pleaded breathlessly when he suddenly pulled back, leaving Chanhee open-mouthed and wanting more. "Please Chanhee. Give me one night to love you."
Without hesitation, the young professor nodded and pulled the older male's face back onto his.
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"The healthy being craves an occasional wildness, a jolt from normality, a sharpening of the edge of appetite, … a brief excursion from his way of life." ~Robert MacIver
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The soft sounds of skin sliding against fabric caused Minsoo to stir. He rolled over in the cheap hotel bed sheets to face the direction the sounds were coming from and opened his eyes just barely to spot Chanhee up and getting redressed. The soft light of the moon making the younger male's pale skin seem to glow, as if he were some magical being.
Minsoo glanced at the clock. 4:04 am.
"Where are you going?" Minsoo asked, pushing himself up onto one of his elbows.
Chanhee replied without sparing him so much as a glance as he rebuckled his belt. "I'm going home. To Hyo Jung."
A beat of silence passed though the room.
"You know," Minsoo said softly, breaking the silence for the second time that night. "In the moon light, you still look like the kid I fell in love with all those years ago."
"Yeah, well, that kid's been gone for a while," Chanhee replied as he finished rebuttoning his shirt.
"I know, he grew up a long time ago..." Minsoo trailed off and waited until Chanhee was at the door before adding, "And maybe if I had stuck around in the beginning, things would be different now."
Chanhee paused for a only a few seconds before opening the door and leaving without a word.
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"Every single thing changes and is changing always in this world. Yet with the same light the moon goes on shining." ~Saigyo
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February 2024
"Alright, you two are all set then," the hotel manager smiled with perfectly whitened teeth at Chanhee and Hyo Jung. "Married on Valentine's Day; I simply can’t think of anything more romantic. I hope your ceremony is as beautiful as the two of you are."
Chanhee smiled and thanked the manger before bowing to her politely and leaving with his fiancé. He hadn't seen or heard from Minsoo since that night back in December, and hoped it would continue that way.
When Hyo Jung asked him where he had been that night, he just said that he had run into an old friend from his idol days and the two had went out for drinks to catch up and simply lost track of time. Which was true…partially. The main point is that she believed him and they never spoke of it again.
The couple made their way back to their awaiting car. Chanhee opened the door for his fiancé and just as she was about to get in she paused and said, "Chanhee-Oppa, who's that?"
He turned to look in the same direction she was and spotted a man across the street staring at them. Looking a little harder, Chanhee realized it was none other than Bang Minsoo.
Chanhee held the other man's gaze, "Someone I knew in another life."
He ushered his fiancé into the car and shut her door. Then going around to his side, he looked back again in Minsoo's direction to find that the older male was still there.
Minsoo then raised his hand up so that it was even with his head and bowed his head slightly, not breaking eye contact with the younger male.
Chanhee looked at him for only a moment more before finally getting into his car.
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"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." ~Anatole France
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I was always told time alienates people, because with time comes change. As our lives go off in different directions, people separate and lose touch with one another. Some people leave your life for good, while others reappear when you least expect it.
But we must not try to stop the changes in our lives.
For all changes are necessary if we are to live the life we are meant to.
a/n:
Disclaimer: The Allkpop article at the top is FAKE. I made it with PHOTOSHOP. Please DO NOT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY.
Park Hyo Jung is an OC.
And I used their Korean ages for this, in case you were wondering.
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