Inspired by this song. No, seriously, listen to it while or before reading this.

        "If beauty was time, you'd be eternity," Jongin said, staring at the owleyed brunette he had just laid eyes on. Unfortunately she didn't seem to notice or care. Time for a new approach.

          "So what do you do, babe?" Kim Jongin asked the tank-top wearing brunette that he had just seen on the bus. This line was usually super effective but not on this chick. Jongin suspected witchcraft. 

           "None of your beeswax . But if you must know, I'm a bartender. A damn good bartender too." The brunette said, looking rather (or actually really) unimpressed. She popped her gum and then scowled at the other brunette sitting too close to her. 

          "Well, I'm a str- exotic dancer. So...wanna go out?" Jongin, who had just chosen the name Kai as his stagename asked, scooting next to her seat on the bus. He really hoped he looked and sounded suave enough.

           "With a disgustingly dirty lowlife scumbag like you? Not ever. But maybe if you payed me a million bucks...." Hot Brunette trailed off, imagining all of the money she could have. Kai took this as a chance to scoot even closer on the bus. He was practically on top of the young bartender. 

          "Why not? I'm young and hot and... Well I'm young and hot." Kai said, gesturing to his everything. Unfortunately he was wearing a raggedy softball t-shirt and a stained pair of gym shorts. He looked like he had come from basketball practice. In reality the nicest clothes he owned was a dickies button down shirt. 

         "I'm young an' hot an' out of your league. So go away before I kick your sorry off this bus. Now gooooo." Hot Brunette meant business, smashing one of her fists into her palm. The girl's personality was getting less and less appealing to a normal human being but Jongin was anything but normal. He thought aggressive anger was attractive, as long as it came from a female. 

          "Fine. This is my stop anyway. You'll regret this! I am Kim Jongi-" Kai roared as the doors closed, muffling the rest of his name. Kyungsoo waved good bye with an evil smile. 

           "Good riddance." Said "Hot Brunette" A.K.A "The Owl Eyed Wonder" as Chanyeol liked to call her. "I have a horrible feeling I'm going to meet him again. Goddamnit Soo, you're talking to yourself again." Kyungsoo chided herself under her breath.

----

            It turned out Kyungsoo was very right; Jongin, or Kai, ended up being the main (read as ONLY) exotic dancer at the club. In fact there weren't even supposed to be exotic dancers at their tiny bar, but Joonmyun thought it would attract girls, and therefore guys, making more money. And $uho doesn't pass up on extra money. There was a reason why he was known as Joonmoney. 

            "So whaddya know, the Hot Brunette is the bartender here. Its obvious we're destined to be together." Jongin whispered into Kyungsoo's ear, putting his hands on her waist. To anyone who didn't know the two it would seem like they were a very y couple. However their dating was only in Jongin's dreams. He could have gotten any girl in Seoul with his looks and pickup lines but he had to fall for the one girl who was immune to his charms.

            "Ya know, we used to have this cute bartender, Seungri. Seungri started flirting with me, just like you are now. Do you know what happened after that?" Kyungsoo chirped, leaning her head into Jongin's side. Jongin smiled brightly, his heart beating more erratically than the beats to the twerking songs he liked to listen to. He crossed his fingers and hoped for a good reply. 

            "You went out with him?" Jongin said hopefully, pulling his best puppy face. Every girl (and half the guys) within a fifty yard radius around him swooned, but not the girl who was standing by him. 

           "I killed him." Kyungsoo smiled evilly, and twisted herself around so she was face to face with Jongin. She then leaned up and kicked him in the balls as hard as she could. Typical Kyungsoo move. If Jongin was Chanyeol he would have avoided this situation by tickling Kyungsoo's neck when she turned around but Jongin was not Chanyeol.

           All advances from Jongin were stalled for a good week.

----

           "I have hired a complete psychopath." Joonmyun remarked as he saw Kyungsoo shove Jongin's head into a bucket for the third time that week.

         "And a deranged with the worst pickup lines ever." Ryeowook muttered, walking away in disgust. Ryeowook could not stand Jongin's presence, maybe because Jongin was almost always shirtless, whether it was for his job or to impress Kyungsoo.

         "I heard that! You're just jealous because you have no one!" Jongin yelled from inside a bucket.

         "Who do you even have?!" Kyungsoo said, eyeing the still bucketed male. The mop water flowed down his grey t-shirt and onto his skinny jeans.

          "You, my sweet potat-AGH!" Jongin screamed as he was kicked into a wall. Pet names only further anger the wild Kyungsoo.

----

       "-a-duckduckduckittyduckduckduck. Just start you stupid car!" Kyungsoo screamed at her car, an old, beat-up trashcan of a yellow jeep that had mysteriously stopped working right when her lunch break started. Kyungsoo was sure that /someone/ wanted to sabotage her and was now half planning murder. However no sabotage had occurred, but Kyungsoo was sure she could find an excuse to kill Jongin.

       "Ayyy babe. Your car is broken? Lemme help you." Jongin stood over her, blocking out the sunlight.

          "What's the catch?" Kyungsoo said, raising one eyebrow. She had known Jongin long enough to know that there was always a catch.

           "A date and possibly the boom boom giggity giggity." Jongin said, his eyebrows wiggling around. 

        "Go before I stick this wrench up your ." Kyungsoo grumbled, kicking her car.

----

.  "Hey babe. You know what would look good on you? Me." Jongin whispered, sliding up behind Kyungsoo.

     "Someone needs to call the cops for ual harassment." Joonmyun shakes his head, but Jongin's constant flirting had become normal.

      "I'll call the police because you stole my heart." Jongin winked at Kyungsoo.

      "Try this on." Kyungsoo rolled her large eyes, handing Jongin a large pink jacket. Jongin walked back into the 'changing room' which was a glorified broom closet with a tiny tinsel star duct taped to the door.

      "I think this jacket doesn't fit right." Jongin said, hopping out of the room in a straightjacket. A flaming pink straightjacket.

      "You're right. It needs a gag so you'll shut up." Kyungsoo groaned, tightening the straps on the annoyingly magenta straightjacket.

        "Into the stuff, eh?" Jongin did his typical y eyebrow wiggle only to get a punch to the face. He tried to squirm out of Kyungsoo's expert (reverse choke hold* as she called it) wrestling hold, but to no avail. By the end of the night he and his ego were bruised. All normal in a day of trying (and failing) to pick up Do Kyungsoo.

*The reverse choke hold is a legit wrestling move. I understand that it is a reverse choke hold but where the comes into play I have no idea. However neither Kyungsoo or Jongin were (though I know you guys wish they were you s) while this wrestling move was performed

Author's note

I had WAY too much fun writing this fic and AU. Thank you to LightningBender and Onew4eva for some of the pickup lines. I also learned some basics to HTML editing sense my toolbar has been ing up my fic.

I'm going to let y'all decide if I should write Kray or Seho first but there most likely won't be Baekyeol because I have no clue for what I would write about for those two.

Comments, up votes and subscribing make my day. I'm not kidding, I like your comments. They inspire me!