Nutcases

      "Minseok, I just don't think I can learn to knit!" Luhan annoyingly whined, putting down the needles and bright pink yarn. Luhan scowled, rubbing his black and white pirate eyepatch. Minseok, in a fit of anger had chucked one of her knitting needles at the blonde.

       "NONSENSE. I AM KIM MINEOK AND YOU SHALL LEARN!" The short redhead screamed from Kris's couch. Kris chuckled from the kitchen. He found Minseok's odd antics quite funny, and Luhan's horrible puns even more funny. That and by being around the two oddballs made him look a lot better by comparison.

       "MPF. MMM HMM HM HM HMPF!" Lay's muffled voice sounded from the closet. He had been too annoying for Minseok's taste and was duct taped and tossed into a locked closet. Or really he was just locked in a closet, then duct taped after his horrific rendition of single ladies, which was only magnified by the closet's great acoustics.

       Tao just chuckled, finger-knitting with some of the neon pink wool. He was the only person on the planet who could calm down Minseok, but he certainly was not going to today. He, like the rest, enjoyed her craziness.      

       "Let's go home." Luhan whined as Minseok began knitting with his needles.

       "You want to go home to tha-" Kris's sentence quickly ended abruptly as a knitting needle shot right above his head. "sorry," Kris mumbled, looking at his feet. Kris was deathly afraid of Minseok as much as he enjoyed her presence.

       "You live with HER?!" Lay squeaked from the closet. He had come unducttaped and was hopping away from his small prison, his legs being tied together with IPhone charger cables.

       "I'll go shut him up." Tao mumbled, leaving the couch and his pink yarn. Kris nodded, and then his eyes lit up.

         "Happy almost anniversary!" Kris cheered happily. Tao's crow of congratulations echoed through the halls, accompanied by Yixing's groans of pain. Minseok's eyes widened and she spit out her mouthful of wine. Luhan, on the other hand, nodded suavely. It was obvious who had remembered what in this relationship.

----

        Minseok jogged into the yarn shop that she worked at barely on time. She had been franticly rummaging through her half of their shared apartment for a gift and it had cost her time.

       "Hi, boss," Minseok wheezed, out of breath from the run to her workplace. Heechul looked up from his computer, only to raise an eyebrow at Minseok's sweaty state.

       "Happy anniversary!" Heechul excitedly yelled, nearly flipping over the large, heavy wooden front desk, only to steady it at the very last moment. Heechul then looked up, his shortish black hair falling into his eyes.

       "Ughhhh. Why does everyone remember my anniversary but me?" Minseok screeched, pulling her short orange ponytail. "By the way, what should I get for Luhan?"

     "Strippers." Heechul stated matter-of-factly. He took Minseok's judging glare as a look of interest and continued. "I know one, Zhou Mi, she's real sweet. Or Jongi-"

     "NO!" Minseok yelled, startling Eunhyuk, the newer employee. However Eunhyuk wasn't that new, and therefore not that surprised. She was a tall platinum blonde with an angular face and killer jawbones.

        "Handj-" Heechul started, only to be cut off by Minseok's fiery glare. If looks could kill, Heechul would be dead in this life and the next.

       Eunhyuk pulled out one of her strawberry shaped earbuds, punk music pouring out of the speaker. As if things weren't awkward enough, she bonked into a shelf, pressing the speaker button on her iPod, causing the music to fill the quiet yarn shop.        'Everybody loves you when you're ing dead!' the song yelled.

       "Oops." Eunhyuk's pale face blushed tomato red. Eunhyuk was a sweet girl who loved pink, cute things and loud, loud rock music. This was evident on her pink 'Back in Black' t-shirt, which she had embroidered bunnies on to.

     "So... What were we talking about?" Eunhyuk asked, her head tilting, brushing up against a blonde pigtail.

        "What should she get for Luhan for their anniversary?" Heechul asked smugly from his desk, petting one of the cats that run rampant terrorize the small, but well loved yarn store.

        "Just get him jajangmyeon. All guys like jajangmyeon." Eunhyuk nodded, eyes closed in a slightly smug way. Her iPod then fell and hit her in the toe. Eunhyuk hopped around on one foot for a little while until it got awkward.

         "Thanks." Minseok reluctantly said. Heechul nodded, gesturing to the open sign and the incoming customer, one of the chefs from the neighboring cafe, a place called 'Secret Time'. Her nametag read 'Zinger'.

----

        "Yixingaling. What should I get for my anniversary?" Luhan yelled quite loudly into his workmate's ear.

         "I dunno you nutcase. Go ask Heechul, he knows what Minseok likes." Yixing drawled, dropping a Naga Viper Chile into a customer's caramel latte.

         "Won't Minseok be there?" Lujan raised one eyebrow.

        "Isn't she off? Heechul lets off early sometimes," Yixing asked as Luhan sprinted away to ask Minseok's boss for help.

        "I GET YOUR TIPS!" Yixing yelled.

---

        "What. Should. I. Get. For. Minseok?" a very sweaty Luhan breathed, red-faced.

        "Strippers." Heechul said straight faced, closing the cash register.

         "Or you could get her a slice of that carrot cake she likes!" Eunhyuk called from a back room.

Meanwhile...

      "Great. Jajangmyeon. Got off early. LETS DO THIS!!!!!" Minseok yelled at herself in a mirror and ended up playing some Henry Rollins to get herself pumped up.

        Minseok changed into her 'cookingware' which was a tank-top and a pair of pajama pants, both so old and moth bitten that she didn't care if they got dirty or caught on fire.

        "Eggs. Jajangmyeon has eggs, right?" Minseok dropped two eggs in the bowl. Those eggs were followed by a can's worth of pinto beans and then tomato sauce. She grabbed some ramen noodles and plopped the cube on top.

        "Looks about right..." Minseok muttered happily, looking at the absolutely horrific mess she had made in her little metal kitchen bowl. Minseok looked around for a spoon, but in dismay only found scissors. She began to use those to mix around the sloppy mess, chopping up the now grossified ramen cube. It looked absolutely disgusting.

        "Nothing some olive oil can't fix." Minseok chirped, trying to be optimistic about the sloppy 'jajangmyeon'. Sugar, then siracha and finally a dab of spinach juice followed the olive oil.

       "Maybe I should bake it..." Minseok looked at the thing that no longer was worthy of the term 'jajangmyeon'. Minseok shoved it in the oven and started eating some chips, eventually falling asleep on her couch.

----

      "Hello. I am Xiao Luhan and I need a slice of carrot cake." a very sweaty, red-faced blonde huffed at the counter of 'Sohee's Sweets Shop', the place Heechul's girlfriend  cooked at.

       "We don't sell carrot cake." The cashier drawled. 'Gong Minji' had a black bob with bangs in the shape of a V and a bright purple manicure.

          "Just put some carrots in the batter or something!" Luhan yelled angrily, stomping his foot hard enough so that the guy with an overly gummy smile that ran the other cash register stopped smiling.

         "Fine. AYYYY JIYONG SHOVE SOMMA THOSE CARROTS IN THE VANILLA CAKE BATTER." Minji screamed. "Excuse me sir but you'll have to wait for twenty minutes while the carrot cake is baking. Thank you." Minji said so politely that it sounded robotic. Luhan sighed and collapsed in a puddle.

        "Wake me up when my slice of cake is done." Luhan blubbered from his pile.

         "Mkay." Minji sighed, pulling out her ever present blue nail file.

         Around fifteen minutes later a to-go box with a slice of carrot cake was placed on top of Luhan's 'corpse'. Eventually the blonde pulled together the strength to drag himself out of the bakery, not without paying first, since he didn't want his whooped. Luhan walked home, again almost being hit by cars, chased by dogs and mauled by the neighborhood cats. By the time he had reached his apartment building he had been followed by two creepy stalkers who thought he was a pretty lady, one rabid dog, three mangy cats and that one turtle that smells like soju. You know the one.

         Luhan opened the door to his apartment to only be greeted by the smell of burning. Minseok popped out of the kitchen a few heartbeats later, and much to Luhan's happiness, was unscathed AND holding a bowl of food. It was a blessing in itself that she didn't catch herself and the building on fire.

        "Happy anniversary!" Luhan said, holding up his cake bag. "I got you carrot cake, your favorite." Luhan grins sheepishly.

        "Happy anniversary too. I made you jajangmyeon." Minseok says cheerily, holding up a bowl of something that was definitely not jajangmyeon.

       The two end up sitting down at the kitchen table to eat each other's presents. Minseok takes a bite out of Luhan's carrot cake and fakes a smile. It tastes like raspberries mixed with carrots. Luhan puts a spoonful of jajangmyeon in his mouth and immediately wants to gag. The black bean noodles tasted like sewage.

        The two just sat there for a little while, staring at each other and their horrible tasting presents. Minseok is the first to break the silence.

      "Your present tastes like carrots on steroids mixed with poison and crap." Minseok said quite seriously, staring at Luhan straight in the eyes.

        "Well your present tastes like rotten old sewage water." Luhan retorted with equal calmness.

         "Good. If my cooking actually tasted good I'd be very worried." Minseok said, pulling Luhan into a huge warm hug.

         Luhan smiled, "Aish you nutcase."

Author's Note

Old chapter from a couple of weeks ago. 

Im going to write Kaisoo next :D

But what should I write after that? Kray? Baekyeol? Seho? 

You get to decide. 

Its ing cold out here

better bundle up

Eezabelle