Tao grumbled, tapping his foot. He knew he had only been waiting for two minutes, but it felt like two hours. And if he had gotten stood up again, he just might've screamed. But just at the point where he was going to just give up and leave a girl biked down the sidewalk, almost hitting at least three grannies in the process. Her old rusty bicycle, which appeared originally red, almost smashed into him when she tried to stop.

       "Uhm...hi?" Tao said, looking up and down at his date. She had a black pixie cut, sharp eyes and a cat like smirk. The girl who he thought was going to be cute, sweet, etc. was not. In the picture Kris gave him she had a bob and was in a pink bunny hoodie. This girl was in a AC/DC Tshirt, a leather jacket, dark green skinny jeans and combat boots. The spunky girl who was taller than he expected was the opposite of cute.

        "Awww, little panda is shy. Boo hoo. By the way, the name is Jongdae." She chirped with a flick of her black bangs. Her voice sounded a lot like a guy's, and if she didn't have s, Tao would've mistaken her for a male.

      "Isn't that a boy's name?" Tao said, tilting his head, attempting to look like a puppy or something cute. It was obvious he would have to be the adorable one today. Of course the girl who looked like a guy had a guy's name. Just his luck.

       "My parents thought I was gonna be a boy. Apparently they don't believe in ultrasound." Jongdae says, rolling her brown eyes. The more time Tao spent with her the less he liked her. She was the opposite of what he liked. Tao liked girls who were cute and sweet, not possible members of a biker gang. If only Hyosung hadn't broken up with him...

     "That doesn't explain your hair." Tao retorted. Luckily he snapped out of his thoughts of his ex and went back to criticizing his current, more tomboyish date.  Jongdae just glared at the panda eyed boy.

      "That doesn't explain your attitude." Jongdae snapped back with the same intensity. Tao was already getting on her nerves, and Jongdae wasn't exactly known for her patience. She wasn't too far off from beating up this tall Chinese guy.

      "Ugh. Let's just go and eat something. Where do you want to go?" Tao sighed, attempting to simultaneously pinch the bride of his nose while rubbing his temples. Eventually he gave up at the two tasks when Jongdae shot him a quizzical look.

       "Pizza!" Jongdae yelled. Everybody on the street turned to face the arguing 'couple'. Tao's face turned tomato red in shame and embarrassment.

      "I was thinking pasta..." Tao muttered, his sentence cut off by Jongdae's intense glare. This girl was all business and it was obvious she was the one calling the shots.

      "How about NO!" Jongdae said in the most terrifying whisper-yell Huang Zitao had heard in his twenty-three years of living. It was obvious by the shocked expression on his face that she had won.

     Gulping, Tao nodded. He let the feisty girl drag him down the street to a pizza shop. This was going to be a long date...

----

     "You. Set. Me. Up. With SATAN!" Tao screamed as he entered his friend Kris's house. Tao looked like a wreck. He was in his PJs, his hair was wild and his right arm had a huge bruise. Everything had went wrong.

      "Oh jooooooy. Like I don't know." Luhan says, gesturing to his girlfriend, Minseok. Luhan was then punched in the face by the redhead. Surprisingly he didn't cry, yell, or even bat an eye. This was completely normal with Minseok.

       "Looks like Jongdae is manlier than you. Hell, Minseok is manlier than us!" Lay yelled before a fist smashed into his face. The redheaded girl had taken kickboxing for thirteen years and her fists hurt like hell. Lay started to cry, rubbing his bruised face.

       "Luhan your girlfriend doesn't even speak." Kris said, opening up a can of his crappy budweiser beer. And the man called it 'high quality'. Lies. He claimed it was 'As American as he was.'. More lies. You should take whatever Kris says with an entire salt shaker, let alone a grain of salt.

      "I speak the language of violence." Minseok drawled, picking up her knitting needles. "Besides, Jongdae is my friend. We play soccer together." Minseok was an odd girl. She loved to knit, drink, kickbox and play soccer. To say the least she was a nutcase, but she was Luhan's nutcase. Luhan was probably the only person on planet earth to actually manage to date Kim Minseok for over a year and live. He was most likely just as crazy as she was.

----

       "Worst. Date. Ever. Oh my glob he was such a wuss. I mean really, I beat him at arm wrestling, and oh glob he was so shy to the bartender and his tolerance was . Sehun you shall never set me up with someone ever again!" Jongdae ranted as she stomped through Kyungsoo's apartment. She chucked off he leather jacket and pushed things over in her anger. Eventually she belly-flopped into the old worn out futon-sofa that was covered in that horrific TVXQ suit print stuff.

       "Did'ya...you know..." Sehun stuttered, making awkward hand motions that conveyed absolutely nothing. Sehun could probably take the cake for most awkward human being on the planet, and his lacking social skills did not help.

        "DIDYA WHAAA? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER BAEKHYUN'S STUPIDITY!" Chanyeol screamed from the kitchen. His loud yells were cut off with a scream from Baekhyun.

       "AAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH MY CROTCH. OWWWWWW. PAIN." Baekhyun yelled from the floor. Chanyeol had kicked him in the crotch. And Chanyeol kicks hard. There's a reason why people are scared of him, and it's not because of his totoro smile.

       "Did ya ?" Kyungsoo asked whilst pulling her long brown hair into a ponytail. Kyungsoo lacked any manners, along with all subtleness. She also lacked an appealing personality, but that made her fit in within their own little group of freaks.

      "EW. With him, no way. Gross." Jongdae said, shoving Chanyeol out of the kitchen to grab some water. She took a sip of the water and then took a spittake in Kyungsoo's owl eyed face.

    "Where is Baekhyun anyway?" Kyungsoo asked, playing with the hem of her sunflower tanktop. The previously kicked male had disappeared from sight just after Chanyeol kicked the crap out of him.

       "Um...Outside?" Chanyeol says scratching the back of his head nervously. Sehun hopped off the couch and opens up the door of the house so the frozen Baeksicle could walk in. It had dropped below freezing when the sun went down. Sehun walked back into the house with a shivering Baekhyun.

       "K-Kyungsoo. Why is there blood on your shirt?" Baekhyun asked first thing, curling up in a blanket. Kyungsoo looked down at the stained tanktop and then looked up with steely, cold eyes. Despite the semi-innocent appearance, Kyungsoo was almost certainly the least innocent, most impure person on the face if this planet.

       "Ya see...there is this y little stripper at the bar I work at, his name's Jongin. An' Jongin, he had waaaaaaay too many mojitos. Strippers love mojitos, don't let 'em tell ya otherwise. So Jongin, he's all walkin up ta me all fancylike. He opens his mouth ta hit on me an' I say 'Jongin if ya hit on me one more time I will kill you' but that did just that. So I killed him!" Kyungsoo snickered all while she told the gruesome tale. If the four other people in the room didn't know her they would be shocked. But they did so this odd 'humor' was completely, utterly normal from the owl eyed young adult.

       "Whaddya actually do?" Chanyeol said while lighting his cigarette with a box of matches found on the dirty kitchen counter. Kyungsoo didn't believe in cleaning her kitchen. She also didn't believe in tipping, the truth and public transport.

       "Gimme one of those." Kyungsoo paused to light her stolen cigarette. "I beat him up and chucked him in the dumpster. Serves him right! ." Kyungsoo had moved by the window, the grey smoke floating into the purple night sky. "Joonmyun'll get him in the morning."

    "Joonmyunnie!" Sehun squealed at the sound of his boyfriend's name. Joonmyun was Kyungsoo's close friend and workmate. Joonmyun also was Sehun's boyfriend and Jongdae's punching bag. Joonmyun was the sweetest guy on the planet, the exact opposite of Kyungsoo. He quickly adapted to the odd group of friends antics and their constant abuse.

      "Ah, young love. Kyungsoo, Jongdae and I, we're destined to be forever alone. And no Baekhyun, we cannot date. I will kick you and you will dieeeeee." Chanyeol cackled, his cigarette smoke making Baekhyun cough. The brunette was as wacky as five year old on acid. Actually he probably was a five year old on acid. Kyungsoo claims he was dropped on the head as a baby buy if you asked Chanyeol he would say he was born this way.

       "Y'all 're gonna get lung cancer." Jongdae said with a smile. She always smiled in the most awkward and inappropriate of situations.

     "Ah, but moderation, young padawon. Everything in moderation." Chanyeol drawled as he put out the cigarette on one of Kyungsoo's precious cacti that grew by the window. He was going to be killed for cactus abuse, or in Kyungsoo's words, 'KILLING MY PRECIOUS BABIES YOU SICK MOTHERER', but it was so worth her reaction.

       "Oooh, you're gonna die. Soo loves those cacti more than she loves beer!" Sehun said, texting Joonmyun. When he pulled out his phone nobody knows. It's like he has magical phone powers. It probably came with being socially awkward and having a psychotic group of weirdos that he tried to call friends.

         "Hmpf. Whatever. Anyways, Chanyeol, if we're old, like thirty five old, we can get married and make babies. Or not." Kyungsoo drawled, reaching for her beloved purple nail polish. It appeared that Chanyeol didn't like that idea when Kyungsoo attempted to dodge a chucked cacti. "MY BABY. YOU MURDERED IT!" Kyungsoo screamed, cradling her broken cactus. Only when the lives of her precious cacti were at stake would Kyungsoo become the motherly weirdo she was destined to be. But if she had kids they would be the most messed up children on the planet.

       "Oh yeah! Joonmyunnie arranged another date with you Tao! Have fun, it's tomorrow night at Kyungsoo's bar at 9 o'clock. Kay?" Sehun  chirped from the lounge chair. Again, the kid had amazing texting powers. He was like the God of Phones or something as whacky as that.

       For a second everything was quiet, almost peaceful. The small house with wooden walls looked almost nice, cheerful, even cozy. The small cabin would've appeared normal to any outsider. It was completely wrong for Kyungsoo's house to be this quiet. Then Jongdae screamed. And when Jongdae screamed she took it to another level. No sissy, girly screams, she screamed like a lead opera singer being eaten alive by a pack of rabid sharks.

     "NO. NO IT IS NOT OK. NOT KAY. BAD KAY. NO KAY. RAAAAAAAAAAAGHRW. ARGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH. BLEEEEH. why? Why? WHY ME?! WHY SEHUN?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!?!?!? WAE WAE WAE?!?!? WHYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!?" Jongdae screamed, rolling around on the couch. Any grammar that she could of used quickly left her flailing body. When her freak out was done everyone in the room could hear her snoring, facedown in a pillow. Kyungsoo walked into her room and came out with a blanket to drape over the sleeping girl.

 ---

       "This was a horrible idea." Tao said as they walked into the bar. Sehun had set the two up for another, not-so-blind date.       "Kyungsoo thinks that if we're here Jongin will stop harassing her. So let's just get drunk and not talk at all." Jongdae sighed, cracking her knuckles. Tao hated the sound of cracked knuckles. It sounded like bones were breaking.

      "Aren't you underaged?" Tao questioned, quizzically raising a singular eyebrow.

       "Cuss no. I'm twenty-two, thank you very much." Jongdae chirped, crossing her arms in a plaid button-down overshirt, which obscured part of her ZZ-Top t-shirt. Jongdae seemed to have an endless collection of band shirts.

      "Hah! I'm twenty three, so you have to call me oppa." Tao says, sticking a finger in Jongdae's scowling face. He quickly pulled his finger away when she tried to bite him.

       "No way Jose. Not in a million years." Jongdae shook her head, trying to pout and look cute. It wasn't that hard, especially with her kitty-like pout.

      "Now you have to call me y oppa." Tao chirped clearly, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet.

      "Nope nope nope, ajusshi." Jongdae snickered, smiling as the two took their seats in the bar.

       "Who you calling Ajusshi, you crazy girl? I am obviously fantastically gorgeous." Tao said, gesturing to all of himself.

       "You wish. Your hair is ridiculous. I am the gorgeous one. Now, what do you want to drink?" Jongdae said, tilting her head.

       "Guinness." Tao grinned, staring straight back at Jongdae.

       "Mhm. HEY 'SOO YOU ! GET YOUR OVER HERE!" Jongdae screamed to a bartender. She ordered in rapid-fire Korean, too fast for Tao to understand.

       "Hey! This isn't Guinness. This is budweiser!" Tao yelled at the giggling girl. 

       "You're only worth a budweiser, Ajusshi. Get over yourself." Jongdae snickered, a bottle of beer in hand.

       The two conversed and drank for a while. Jongdae glared at a tall tan man who walked over to the bar. Eventually Jongdae's glares drove the man away.

       "Why don't you like him?" Tao questioned curiously.

     "That's Jongin," Jongdae paused to bob her head to some electro song. "and I like this song. Let's dance!" she yelled, jumping up. 

     "Nonononono. I don't dance." Tao shook his head vigorously in worry. He hated to dance, especially in public.

       "Well I do! Let's go!" Jongdae yelled, running into the crowd of moving bodies. It was annoying how she always had to contradict him. Why couldn't she just agree with Tao on one thing?

       Tao pulled himself off his chair to search for Jongdae. He found her in the center, dancing away like crazy. There was nothing special about her dancing, she was perfectly average at it. Jongdae was much better than Kris, who had trouble being coordinated while walking, but much worse than Lay, who was a dancing genius. But the special thing about Jongdae was that she looked like she was having the best time of her life, she really seemed to enjoy dancing, even if she wasn't great.

---

       "Who's idea was it for us to go out again? I would like to punch them in the face." Jongdae grumbled to Tao. Their second date had ended in an argument if movies vs more dancing. It ended in Jongdae chucking popcorn at some elderly ladies for two hours while the film rolled.

      "Lay's. And for once I agree with you, this !" Tao shrieked as they got off the bus. Lay had proclaimed the couple 'cute' and had basically shoved them onto a bus for a date.

       "Stick with me panda boy and we can punch that er right in the face. KABLAMMMO!" Jongdae jumped up and down, striking various poses while making battle sounds. Tao rolled his eyes and pulled the girl along. She was constantly energetic and moving, never seeming to be still, or quiet for that matter.

         "Please cooperate before I punch you in the face. Maybe going for drinks is a bad idea." Tao frowned when Jongdae's fist landed in his back. He would love to wushu her to oblivion but he didn't like the idea of jail. Apparently Jongdae had been to juvie. Twice.

       "YEAH! Let's go for hot chocolate!" Jongdae spun around in circles, her short hair flying around. She had decided that today was the day she'd dress 'normal'. Normal as in an oversized green sweater that looked straight out of the eighties, short electric blue sports shorts and rainbow leopard print converse. With a scarf the color of gay that was anyone with OCD's greatest nightmare. The billions of patterns on the crazy patchwork scarf warranted an epilepsy warning.

        Tao was dragged by a smiling Jongdae up two flights of stairs, hitting his face on each step. No wonder she was so energetic, all of that energy went into causing him pain. When the dragging stopped Tao found himself by a tiny hole in a wall cafe, named 'Ferme La Bouche'. It was small but cozy with a couple of cats and a tatted up barista. Jongdae shoved Tao into a seat and went up to order.

       "Best hot chocolate in all of Seoul." Jongdae said when the cocoa came. Tao rolled his eyes but was shocked when he sipped some hot chocolate. It was like tasting rainbows and god juice.

      "This tastes like...magic!" Tao squeaked. Jongdae smirked and nodded. The two chatted about basic things, like the weather, their friends, sports and the like. All attempts at being normal were thrown out the window when one of the cats leapt up to their table. Jongdae ended up chucking the poor thing at Tao's face and the elder had to pry off a terrified tortoiseshell cat from his head.

---

      "H-h-holy crap. It's really raining!" Jongdae screamed, her arms flapping around in the too long green sleeves of her pullover sweater. It looked pretty adorable, like something from an anime or cartoon. But she had probably used those ridiculously long sleeves to murder someone or something like that.

       "I, the great panda king, shall save the fair princess Jongdae." Tao said, bowing towards the odd girl. Jongdae jumped up and down with laughter, slapping Tao in the face multiple times.

        "Fair princess of kickass. I don't need no saving, oh great panda king. C'mon, we're about to get drowned on land." Jongdae said, putting on her 'game face'. Tao snickered at her fake seriousness. The two started sprinting through the streets, trying to avoid the rain. Eventually they bounded up through the stairs to Tao's apartment. Their third date had went surprisingly well, and Tao found himself enjoying his time with Jongdae more than before.

       "I'm soooo soaked. It was cussing monsooning out there!" Jongdae said, shaking her head like a dog to rid herself of the rain. Then, without notice, she pranced into Tao's room, came out with a shirt and boxers, and changed in the kitchen. The kitchen. Tao's kitchen. Nobody touches Tao's kitchen. Especially not Tao's nongirfriend girlfriend Jongdae. She probably got her girl cooties all over his stuff.

       Before the two knew it there was a full blown war. Tomatoes were thrown, names were called and mysterious foam bats were pulled out of nowhere. Eventually the tired duo collapsed in the living room. They watched a completely cliche drama just to insult it and then just fell over on the floor.

       "You ." Tao muttered, brushing his still-wet black bangs out of his eyes. It was only ten o'clock but it felt much later than that.

      "You more." Chen chirped, doodling on the wall in pencil.

     "You the most." Tao groaned, moving to the overly soft couch that was covered in copious amounts of pillows.

       "Yeah right. I am Chen! Queen of awesome!" Jongdae yelled, flailing her arms triumphantly.

       "Are you on drugs?" Tao questioned while the weird girl began to draw catbug on the wall in pencil again.

     "Only twenty-five hours a day, nine days a week. 370 days a year!" Jongdae smiled, grabbing a sharpie.

       "Weirdo." Tao said, turning around.

      "A mother-cussing gorgeous weirdo." Jongdae smiled, doodling more catbugs on the sky blue paint.

       "Pffft, please. You're desperate. You aren't even dating anyone." Tao said, turning on his old iPhone.

       "Then what are we?" Jongdae smiled, beginning to draw impossibear.

       "GRASDFGHJKL. RARAGH. I. Don't. Know." Tao squeaked, arms flailing in a mini spasm. Jongdae just chuckled.

       "You're my ridiculous panda-peach-ajusshi-weirdo." She smiled, jumping up to Tao's overly cushioned couch to snuggle up next to the tall boy. The two fell asleep together, covered in pillows. 

Author's Note

Yay! Taochen!

Sorry if I got my French mixed up and my beers wrong OTL. I'm in beginners French and I don't drink, I'm too young. 

2nd shot at writing fluff. It's so hardddddddd. TT-TT

But this was fun to write. I really like this AU. 

Do you want me to make a Kaisoo sequel as a next chapter? Answer in the comments. 

Dont be shy! Commenting makes my day.