It's me! Don't forget about me, guys! I may be gone for now but, hopefully, I'll be back one day. Maybe not in Korea, maybe not in Seventeen. I know you will see me in your dreams and I will make sure I can appear to you again in the future, because I'm sure you all miss me as much as I miss you, right? I hope so~ I love you all! My family just - as I'm sure you do too - wants the best for me. I can't be with Seventeen right now but I want to thank them for caring so much for me from the beginning, acting like I was their biological little brother as soon as they met me, and becoming family to me. Without the Seventeen members who became my best friends, I wouldn't have had as much fun in Korea as I have. If I got sick, they cared for me. If I was sad, they tried their best to cheer me up.

Even if I was being annoying and Hansol yelled at me because he was the most annoyed by me (probably because he's only 1 out of 2 people there who can understand English aswell), I know he misses me the most, probably. My relationship with Hansol is definitely like a big brother and little brother, and I hope it will stay that way even if we must be far apart. We all had fun when we were in the soundproof room with just us and Jisoo, because we could all talk in English. Jisoo hyung put in his best efforts to make sure that Hansol and I didn't fight, and that's what an older brother is for. We are the English family.

Even Junhui and Mingming hyungs - even though I can't speak Chinese and they are still trying their best to improve their Korean, we had (and still have) a great friendship with each other! I hope that, one day, I can talk to Junhui about what I did at school again, and tell him about my vacations, and how my day is going. Hopefully by then he will be completely fluent in Korean. Maybe he'll be an international, triple threat star by then, too. 

Those who I didn't get to know for long, like Junghan and Dongjin, I appreciate you as much as the rest! Dongjin, as the hyung who is the nearest to my age, can understand my feelings and mind well while we were around those who were a lot older than I am. He could translate my mind through the ages, so that even the 95liners could understand me. 95liners like Junghan, who is almost as quiet as Dongjin, who still tried his best to care for me.

The other 95liners, Seungcheol and Doyoon, you are the oldest hyungs I have. I wanted to say how grateful I am that you not only looked after me while you still have the other 13 to care for, and soon 15. You must go through a lot of hardships behind the scenes, but for most of the time you are putting on a strong facade and a happy face that can brighten anyone's day, for us. Doyoon, you have a contagious and infectious smile which everyone loves, your happiness shines as bright as a single shooting star in the pitch black sky. Seungcheol, you have one of the greatest rapping talents I've ever seen. If I could've stayed for longer, I would've asked you to teach me how to rap a little bit while I taught you some dance moves I created. That would've be nice...

I would've shown Chan my dance moves too, and we could choreograph together. With Jihoon leading us and the others in a dance and making sure we perform it correctly, I want to go back to a day like that. Although, at the time, it was tough and I (maybe) wanted to cry a little, they are the best memories when I'm looking back over them. Jihoon, keep improving your English, hyung! I can tell you're getting better and better as the days go by.

Soonyoung and Seokmin, the vocalists who really amaze me. I hope that I can sing like you when I grow up. I hope that I can show you; that you won't be too busy for me. I also hope that I can have a friendship with someone like the one that you two have with each other. To be crazy whenever you want but to also have the ability to be serious when it's required - it's really a special friendship. The same goes for Wonwoo and Mingyu! Your friendship inspires me to try and bring a lot of happiness to others and to be as friendly as possible with everyone that I meet. Also, you've taught me to not be scared of making stupid faces that make me look like an idiot, since you do it all the time and you are still loved a lot. Mingyu, I want to watch dramas with you again one day, although it might be hard since your schedule will become tight very soon, and you might not have time for me anymore. Seungkwan, the Sandeul-lookalike vocalist, I miss your squishiness. I wish that I had hugged you more because you are so squishy. I hope that you wouldn't have minded.

As for me, I wish that I wasn't writing a diary like this. I wish that I was writing a diary that was about getting my hair styled coolly and having a great performance night, seeing all my fans' faces and going to sleep as happy as I could be. But I'm glad that you still included me in this. I miss you, hyungs. I love you, hyungs. I hope that we can all be together again one day.

Don't forget about me!

[a/n: i miss samuel ;;]